Mercenary Kitten @calicocrazedqueer - Tumblr Blog

If I were rich here’s what I’d do with my free time okay Mermaid pranks Let me explain. So, I’d get one of those super fancy mermaid tails, like those sick as hell silicone ones that has the super long thick tail that uses like, toe pullies and stuff to make the fins move in cool and impossible ways. like this

(source)

And I would go all fucking out on this fit okay. We’re talking diving lessons until I can hold my breath for 7 minutes and go deep as fuck. Long hair, starfish, scales up to my tits, those funky contacts that make it so you can see under water, all of it- everything I could to make myself look as “thing of the deep but hot” as possible. Then, I’d go get some shiny valuable rocks. Pearls, Uncut gems, like super fuck’n nice ones like diamonds and shit, and ofc some gold coins. Then I’d dawn my mermaid fit and hit public waterways. Rivers, beys, lakes, places where people are around and might be swimming, but where I’m not gonna die via boat propeller, and not super crowded areas where a lot of people are swimming. Then I just prank people by poking my head out of the water and surprising them, then I motion them closer and reach into my hair or satchel or something and give them a fucking emerald, smiling all big the whole time then I just- swim the fuck away. What the fuck they gonna do now!? Keep it as a fun memory of that time a fuck’n mermaid larper gave them a shiny rock? Never know it’s actually valuable? Or do they take it to a jeweler and find out it’s real? How the fuck are they gonna explain that. They gonna tell the jeweler a fuck’n mermaid gave it to them?! I think the fuck not. Gonna pop up at the peir and smile at people and give gold coins to whoever stops. Kids are gonna freak. Put a little wonder back in the world. Flirt with pretty girls. Swim down rivers, pop up and surprise some old lady sitting by the water and give her an uncut diamond then swim away without a word.

Get a reputation as the weird lesbian mermaid who gives out precious gems and never speaks then suddenly stop without warning for like three years to give people time to forget me then do it all again.

wemblingfool

If it’s a kid, and only the kid has seen you, act horrified that you’ve been found.

Beg them to keep you a secret, and give them the jewel/coin in exchange.

aureliaborealis

i swear to god ultra rich people are so fucking boring with their mansions and yachts. ThiS is what i wanna see in the world. Where are the superheroes? The masquerade balls? WHO is gonna invent real farie wings that let you fly??

pdqsketch-reblog

@pozolegirl hey look at this

pozolegirl

You’re right this is absolutely me. Honestly, when I’m mermaiding my number one goal is to make children have a crisis about reality. They always ask me if I’m a real mermaid and I just respond with: Well are you a real human?

The amount of fear and confusion that flashes in their eyes is delectable.

catnippackets

it had to be done

kinstein-art

lmao have fun in the multiverse of madness doc

lunah-goodbye

do you guys wanna hear the latest drama among librarians across the country

lunah-goodbye

Ask and I shall deliver

Okay so the latest drama is apparently there is a man calling across random libraries across the country and he’s asking for information on a court case specifically Brady v Maryland and when he calls he claims he doesn’t have a computer so he asks for the case to be read aloud to him

Here’s the thing. He is asking for uh not legal reasons but umm because he well….he well…he’s yknow 😳 And he’s called multiple libraries and done this and the FBI is supposedly involved and can’t catch this pervert that’s just calling libraries and getting off on librarians reading about some random court case

And apparently the dude called my work! And I wasn’t there for it but they put him on hold cause they were like “is it him…” so they got a male coworker to answer the phone and he immediately hung up and like hdjdhsjshhs?!? What is happening!!

knottahooker

I TALKED TO HIM. He is absolutely masturbating while you read the court case. He has hit MULTIPLE libraries ACROSS the country. He’s called my library twice and another local library last week.

So if you get a blocked number asking you to read Brady v Maryland wiki article while he “writes it out by hand,” hang up. Log it, tell your managers.

Links to just one of the ALA facebook posts about it, for evidence if you need to email your bosses:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/ALAthinkTANK/posts/5647009278705179

racism-2-racist-harder

cerastes

This dude vs Wonderbread guy MMA fight

pterribledinosaurdrawings

The triumphant goodmorning tale of ME versus the extra sleep trap. After over a week of shameful losses I finally won today!

pterribledinosaurdrawings

Also here is an illustrate of the nighttime end of it:

I was slipping again for a while but my sleeps are good this week! Yay!

pterribledinosaurdrawings

once again I was bad about sleeps for a long time but this past week I have done good early sleeps woken up at 7 or so which is good. it is 9:03 right now so must get ready for do sleep soon.

elodieunderglass

wow this dinosaur really got things done this week! I’m happy for them!

thevideowall

Reblog the dinosaur of good sleep habits for a week of good sleep habits

catnippackets

I watched Megamind again today...what are their eyes so big for

kyleehenke

Sharing this from my twitter because I think a good amount of artists can probably relate to this, ADHD or not ö

kyleehenke

For those of you who are on mobile (or.. y’know, have ADHD): a small selection of excellent tags from this post to help you feel Less Alone

Aight fellas here’s my takeaway after reading through these individual accounts:

1) HORRIFYINGLY, we are not bored enough. The onset of adulthood comes with more freedom to AVOID boredom, and all the instantly-accessible, hyper-stimulating technology & entertainment available to us probably doesn’t help us seek out activities that are less immediately rewarding… aka, our chosen crafts.

2) Now that we’re AWARE of this, we can begin to figure out which environments help us each to thrive the most creatively, & try to replicate those circumstances in our adult lives!

3) NEURODIVERGENT CREATIVES STOP BLAMING YOURSELVES WHEN PASSION ALONE ISN’T ENOUGH 2K21

did-you-know

Source

vegetapsycho

Im fucking dying. REAL ESTATE. SELLING PLANETS AND WORRYING ABOUT RETAIL VALUE. HIRING REAL ESTATE WORKERS TO DO HIS BIDDING N UNDERPAYS THEM. this…. This realization is gutting me

therealfeedback-deactivated2018

roboticoperatingbud

its free real estate

tiktoksthataregood-ish

the-void-8-my-soul-deactivated2

OMG That is so cute!!

Also the reason that the cat did this is actually because they are mirroring their owner. If their owner treats the thing (or in this case book) with respect and has made it very clear with their actions that the thing is important the cat will take notice and mirror this behavior!

wikizooia-deactivated20241007

Great addition! However, this is actually because the cat is Muslim.

callese

khapikat222

Report Disney, Report Universal, Knotts, the Large Golf Courses.

Report them en mass and force their business behavior to change.

daily-volcanology

It's time we decolonize the Cascadian volcanoes

daily-volcanology

If we can say Denali instead of Mt. McKinley then we can say Lawetlat'la instead of Mt. St Helens. The mountain is named Tahoma, not Rainier. Naming a mountain after Jefferson doesn't erase its true name of Seekseekqua.

One name tells of the thousand years indigenous history and culture of the tribes who live there. The other name tells me nothing but colonialism.

dustywave

Mt. Baker: Kulshan

Glacier Peak: Dahkobed

Mt. Rainier: Tahoma

Mt. St. Helens: Lawetlat'la

Mt. Adams: Klickitat

Mt. Hood: Wy'east

Mt. Jefferson: Seekseekqua

Three Sisters: Klah Klahne

punkjabi

shounenchild

Notes that make you fucking insane

lost-in-pride

France is just the brother of britain ? We shame britain. We shame france. No one gets left.

evie-black

notkatniss

ive-been-mistreated

#that is the most venomous native lizard in north america

hickeywiththegoodhair

so i was compelled to look that up and

A) the most venomous lizard in north america is called the Gila Monster

B) I’m no expert obviously but that boy there sure looks like a Gila Monster

C) from the Gila Monster wikipedia article, here is the funniest doctor that ever lived:

“I have never been called to attend a case of Gila monster bite, and I don’t want to be. I think a man who is fool enough to get bitten by a Gila monster ought to die. The creature is so sluggish and slow of movement that the victim of its bite is compelled to help largely in order to get bitten.”

–Dr. Ward, Arizona Graphic, September 23, 1899

squeedge

reuniclus

You Make My Dreams Come Truesday

typhonserpent

If you are American, PLEASE SUPPORT THE SSI RESTORATION ACT OF 2021

This new bill has been introduced in both the house and the Senate.

Among other things, it will:

Raise the monthly disability income by just over 30 percent - bringing it to poverty level.

Remove penalties for recieving financial help from friends and family.

Increase the amount of assets a disabled person may have from $2,000 to $10,000 (this hasn't been updated since 1989)

Update outside income restrictions to allow disabled people to receive up to $399 a month without reducing their benefits.

REWARD, not penalize, people who want to receive additional income while on social security income.

REMOVE THE MARRIAGE BAN YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT THIS WILL REMOVE THE MARRIAGE BAN

For those unaware current regulations do a lot to oppress disabled people. In fact marriage equality doesn't even extend to disbled people who risk having their benefits reduced or outright taken away if they marry someone. This means that in common law states disabled people can't even live with their significant other or they risk losing their financial independence.

Current regulations mean that if you're disbled you can't have so much as one penny over $2,000 to your name. So buying a car and gaining more independence or freedom is largely out of the question for disabled people.

Current regulations penalize social security recipients who receive income from outside sources, even if those sources are reimbursement. Did you get paid to babysit for a few hours? That's income, and you get your benefits reduced. Did you loan a friend $10 and they pay you back? The government considers that $10 income, and you get your benefits reduced.

These aren't mere anecdotes - these are all examples of actual things that have happened to disbled people I know, and if you have any disabled friends in your life I'm sure they can tell you the same stories.

If you value marriage equality, if you value financial independence, if you value the rights of disbled people, please PLEASE support this bill! Contact your reps, vote, and make noise! This is a great thing!

typhonserpent

UPDATE: Text SIGN PSLOAE to 50409

Resistbot is hosting a petition for this! They will automatically send letters to your representatives for you!