I reblogged a video of Jungkook saying that he regrets not letting Jimin win earlier today with this caption:
âIâm actually really glad that he didnât "letâ Jimin win. Theyâre that cute, competitive couple and if Jungkook kept letting Jimin win, I would consider that an overly-dominant and arrogant thing to do because he would just be undermining Jimin and it would be like heâs saying, âLook, Iâm better than you at stuff but since weâre involved, Iâm pulling myself out of the competition and letting you win because otherwise you would have had no chance of beating me.â Itâs really not sweet or romantic, and besides, whatâs with this belief that Jimin canât beat Jungkook at anything and when he does, itâs because Jungkook let him?? I heard this so many times after Jimin beat Jungkook in a badminton match in one of the Run behind the scenes. Jiminâs not some uncompetitive patsy who never wins at games. I donât think Jungkook ever âletsâ Jimin win except when heâs being loud and obvious about it, like in the Japan fanmeeting, or when heâs losing to be with Jimin (he lost so he could share a room with him in Hawaii).â
And then I log back in to Tumblr to find people already creating drama about this issue. I donât know if these accounts have me specifically in mind as one of the people theyâre calling out, but I saw one particular account post not once, but multiple times, talking about this issue and quoting the exact words I used to say that this is "overthinkingâ and wrong and who knows what else. I wouldnât address this just because some people may or may not be talking about what I said but sadly, I also have a couple of anons in my inbox saying the same thing so Iâm going to address this whole issue here.
Also, read bullet #3 before jumping to any conclusions and accusing me of being an anti.
Let me be very clear: I still stand by what I said. You may be of the opinion that when two people in a relationship compete against each other and one of them âletsâ the other win in some kind of perverse move to make them feel like theyâre good enough is cute or romantic but I strongly believe that itâs not. The only thing the first partner is achieving is showing their partner and everyone else that they pity them. They would rather treat them as a charity case and let them win than let them compete fair and square with dignity. This is an arrogant and patronizing way of thinking because if you do this openly, youâre essentially telling your partner that, âlook, youâre not good enough to win against me but Iâm going to take pity on you and let you win so you feel betterâ â and that would make the other partner feel everything but better, especially if theyâre someone with any self-esteem.
This is a very archaic way of thinking. If you google âletting your significant other win at gamesâ all the top results are from men seeking advice about whether they should let their girlfriend win at something. Why? Because women have always been considered the weaker sex and the sex that is inherently expected to be worse at things than men, so if a woman wins it means either a harsh blow to her male opponentâs ego, or that she only won because the male opponent let her win. This is relevant to Jimin and Jungkook because Jimin has always been the more feminized out of the two. There is obviously nothing wrong with femininity so what Iâm talking about here is not when people point out that Jimin has feminine qualities, itâs when they straight up ignore the fact that he is a man and start borderline misgendering him. âJimin wears the dress and Jungkook wears the pants in the relationship.â âWhen JM and JK get married, JM must take JKâs last nameâ (never mind that Koreans donât change their last names after marriage). âJM relies on JK to take care of him and buy him things.â Iâve heard so much bs on this subject and whenever the talk of dominance (not the BDSM kind) between the two comes up, I instantly know to expect that there will be people who (a) will instantaneously peg JM as the submissive and JK as the dominant, and (b) say that itâs ânot that deepâ and that others are overthinking stuff thatâs only cute.
I am not bashing JK or saying that he did anything wrong. Anyone who knows me knows that I love JK almost as much as JM, and if I were sitting here stewing in my hatred for JK and thinking of him as an âassholeâ â I never used this word but a particular acc seemed to think that people are calling JK an asshole â I would just say it. What JK said about he wishes he had let JM win wasnât an asshole move: he clearly didnât let JM win. He respects him and he competed against him fair and square, and the reason he said that was because he was concerned about him, and thatâs honestly sweet. At no point has he ever acted like JM is incapable or not worth competing against - I have only ever seen him compete against JM in Run episodes, etc. with full seriousness and he never demeans JM by implying that he could only win if he let him. I only said that I am glad that JK didnât let JM win and Iâm not sure how people managed to purposely misunderstood this, but I was clearly only saying that JK did nothing wrong by not letting JM win. One example that comes to mind is Bon Voyage 1 where he and JM kept arm wrestling and JM lost every single time. JK didnât âletâ him win because he respects JM and cares about his pride and self-esteem - and that in itself shows me that JK is a very decent, humble man.
My problem with all of this - which wasnât a very big problem to start with but now sadly Iâm having to address this because of some passive aggressive KM blogs - is the whole narrative that âJK lets JM win.â This whole idea that JM is not good enough to ever win against JK and that JK somehow pities JM and let him win is beyond toxic. The people saying that this shit is cute or romantic are people that I can instantly pick out as ones who have either never been in or have no concept of a mature, healthy relationship with a balanced dominance-subjection dynamic (again, not the BDSM kind).
I wish I could say that saying all this was unnecessary for me, but as Iâve come to learn during my time on Tumblr, there will always be people here who are tripping over in their haste to intentionally misunderstand the things I say and then create drama about it. These people have no trouble finding ugly words and then using them to tell me âitâs not that deep sisâ or âstop overthinkingâ or most ironically, things like âyou bitch, youâre just a hateful antiâ and yes, I have received that last one in an ask before. Either way, anonymous hate doesnât bother me as much as people openly and passive aggressively posting instead of just maturely disagreeing like an adult and saying things to my face - again, I donât know if any other KM blogs are actually saying things about me specifically, but the anons and the way they used the exact wording that I had used would lead me to believe so - and I am glad that I am getting this out there instead of leaving behind a mess for the vultures to pick on and create drama out of. As always, if you disagree with me, feel free to unfollow and block; I am not interested in convincing anyone to think as I do, and I most certainly donât have the patience to deal with hateful trolls who are not interested in hearing me out. If you are not someone who has posted about what I said on this subject or someone who has sent me an anonymous ask about this, this is not directed at you :)
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