@hollow--sun replied to your post “[pm] How is the beer pong world champion...”:
[pm] Excellent ! I never know if I should just let people be a happy memory made one festive night or if I should reach out. Figured I'd try the latter this once.
I'm good ! I also remember everything, of course. Quiz me about it. (Please don't).
[pm] God, I get that SO hard. Well! Consider me honored to have been the latter decision. :)
Okay, okay... what color was my bra? (I'm JOKING.) ((Unless you remember. I don't think I do.))
[pm] How is the beer pong world champion doing?
It was nice meeting you the other day so I figured I would reach out.
[pm] Waaaah hey, buddy! I'm glad you did! And I'm doing great, you know, I've almost fully recovered from that party that I totally remember eeeeeevery second of! Haha. How are you??
[pm] Hiiii, babe <3 How are ya doing? How're ya feeling? Staying safe in the yucky woods, I hope! Or better yet staying out of the Cause... That was crayyyy, wasn't it? As much as I loooved hanging with ya and getting bevs after, I'd love to do it again without the traumatizing ugly creature attacking us first. How's that sound?
Also, are we still on for Sunset Spire at some point? (Or Canada, whichever you prefer) (I defo wouldn't mind touching the land of my queen) (Carly Rae Jepsen) (But Sunset Spire is like, a teeny tiny bit more important for the plot).
[pm] Oh hey Jade! I'm good, doing much better! [ user only had three nightmares about the Thing in the woods ] Too cray. Would love to never see one of those again, haha! And yes, hard agree, we totes should!
Yeah!! We can shoot for Sunset Spire (I didn't know it had a name, even!) first, since it's plot-heavy. :) Canada will still be there, after all! And maybe CRJ too. We'll have to time it for when she's not on tour.
@kadavernagh replied to your post “We should do organs next time.”:
The sticks, of course! I would never mutilate organs like that... they are safe in my hands. [...] Is there a secret third thing? What do you know?
Ah! Well, good to know! Would organs made of sticks also be a good offering for our lovely headless lady? [...] There's always a secret third thing. But I don't know what it is, because it's secret!
TIMING: Current-ish
LOCATION: The woods
PARTIES: Regan and Colt
SUMMARY: Colt is working on a very important project in the woods that she can't explain. Regan has her own assumptions about what Colt's trying to do.
There was no such thing as privacy anymore. At home, Regan practically shared a body with Jade, and though she would never complain about that (their cells would start fusing any day now), it did mean that so long as both of them were there, privacy didn’t exist.
She was starting to doubt it existed out here in the woods, either. The Voice (she should probably start calling him Pubik) never followed into the clearing where she screamed. She doubted it was out of respect or solemnity. She had half a mind to move back out here if it kept the Voice away, but that meant giving up quite a lot, including—most importantly—Jade’s comfort. Or they could do long-distance again. Those were trying times.
Screaming helped, sometimes, before it made things worse by exposing some deep festering inside her, like infected marrow. She always felt it rise to her skin when she touched Jade. It still had to be done. Regan had been heading out to her clearing when she caught movement behind some thin trees. She heard the snapping of twigs. Her first thought (and she did not want to examine what this said about her) was that it was the Voice, the way it had managed to manipulate the shovel when Zack had encountered them–her in the woods. But the movement seemed more like an animal. Or a flesh and blood human. Hopefully flesh and blood.
It was a woman. Probably around Regan’s age (though she actually looked it, and Regan tried not to let her envy bubble up), pink dye in her hair taking on the orange tint of the waning sun. Her expression was all business, which was admirable, but there were two problems. The first was that she was too close to Regan’s clearing for Regan to make good, screaming use of it right now. The second was… what was she doing?
Regan crouched for a minute to watch. She had never been known for her stealth, but she also wasn’t trying to hide so much as remain undisruptive. The woman was walking back and forth, moving objects to some destination obscured by some bushes. Finally, sick of not having answers, Regan rose and approached. “Hello?” She said. Asked? One of the two.
She could see what was happening now. That did not make it any more clear why it was happening. The woman found a couple more twigs and brought them back to… a pile, like she was building a nest. Regan picked up one by her boots and approached the pile, putting herself in full, clear view of the woman for the first time. She dropped the stick onto the growing mound. “Planning on starting a fire? Everything is too damp for that.” And if she was camping, where were her supplies? Right—back a step; the assumption was likely wrong. “Or… are you attempting to attract birds? I don’t think they often nest on the ground. Well, the flightless ones, probably, but we don’t have those in Maine.” Regan dropped another stick on the nest.
—
Sometimes she was more mentally present when these kinds of urges came over her, but other times she slipped into a sort of dissociative fog, mindlessly letting her body do what it wanted while her mind wandered to dark, vacant corners. Perhaps she didn’t want to think about what she was doing, or try to figure out why… perhaps it was a defense mechanism.
Or perhaps she was simply bored and was too busy thinking about other things, like what she was going to have for dinner, to be paying much attention to where her feet were leading her. To twigs in the underbrush, where hands picked them up of their own volition and carried them back to a pile. Rinse and repeat. Colt was miles away, her gaze turned slightly upward toward the forest’s evergreen canopy when a voice startled her from her thoughts (or lack thereof?). She jumped, eyes wide as they swung away from the sky above her to find the source of the voice, her feet still carrying her to the pile, where she dropped a few more sticks.
The stranger, a white-haired woman who looked far too young for that to have been anything but a fashion choice, stooped to pick one up as well, then moved toward her. Colt stood frozen beside the pile, her senses returning to her as the stranger’s stick was added to the collection. She asked about a fire, then about birds. Colt opened her mouth to answer, hesitated, and pressed her lips together.
The woman added another stick, and Colt felt oddly appreciative.
“Not birds, no,” she finally answered. “Or a fire.” She glanced at the pile, then to the stranger, then plastered on a broad smile. Her fingers released the fabric of her sweatpants and she stuck out a hand to shake in greeting. “I’m making something… else! Hi. My name’s Colt, what’s yours?”
—
Not a nest, then. Or a fire. That still left a lot of options, even if Regan couldn’t think of anything off the top of her head. Colt was being vague. Or, oh, perhaps she was a creative of some kind, and this was part of her process. Regan did not understand art. Her attempts at it were best left unrecalled.
Regan found another stick, this one sticky with sap, and dropped it lightly on the pile. She accidentally stepped on one that had stuck out of the base, jumping at the snap of the branch. Then she jumped a second time, knowing what Cliodhna would have said about the ungraceful startle. Are you a rabbit, leanbh? Must we put you on a hook? She looked away from the broken twig. “What is this ‘something else’? Am I following protocol? Or—I am not good at art.” She took a step away from the pile and looked questioningly at Colt, whose face was tight with focus. “Should I continue?”
She would be lying if she kept quiet about her curiosity, though—her stomach was already turning sour. “I’m Regan. Just, um, out for a walk. Alone.” She muttered. “So far.” No Pubik in her ear yet, but that could change, especially if the Voice didn’t hear her lungs spilling out. “If you can’t tell me what you’re making, can you tell me why you’re making it? Or—you can give me hints. I do not mind earning my answers.” Death knows she was still begging the Dullahan.
—
The woman jumped, and Colt’s brows rose. “It’s okay,” she said quietly, wondering if the alarm came from worrying about ruining the sticks she’d gathered. The follow up question was valid, even if Colt lacked an answer. “Um… yeah! You’re doing great,” she replied, avoiding the first part of the inquiry. “It’s.. very helpful! So yes. Please!” She didn’t know what this meant, now, having another person here to watch her go through these mysterious motions. Perhaps they could make sense of it together?
“Regan,” Colt repeated with a nod. “Well, not alone anymore, I guess! I uh… it’s just one of those things, you know? When you feel like you have to do a thing, even if you don’t really know why?” No, she figured, Regan probably did not know, if she was at all normal. Which was yet to be determined. But really, what even was normal? All of that considered, she could give a better answer. Colt reached overhead to snap a twig off the tree overhead, liking the way it forked in the middle. “I think I’m collecting these to make little…” What was the appropriate word, here? She wracked her brain, the pause stretching the silence between them. “Relics? That’s not exactly right... but it’s about as close as I can get to explaining it.” She scrunched her nose, closing her eyes. She could see the objects she was going to make, and stuffed a hand in her pocket to retrieve the twine she’d brought along with her for this exact purpose.
“Why, in your opinion, would someone want to go out into the woods to make a bunch of stick relics? What purpose would that serve?” She asked the question as she knelt down in front of the pile of sticks, rooting around for the ones to best serve the design in her mind.
—
Earning answers was acceptable… so long as it was possible to earn them. Regan did not tolerate the unknown particularly well. What scientist was not driven to answer questions? What was the point of her calling if she didn’t believe in objective truths? Colt was describing doing something without reason. Not quite instinct (that would have a clear trigger and mechanism, and Regan was grateful for reflexes). Perhaps something closer to a ‘gut feeling’ that Jade trusted with envious ease. And Regan knew the sensation every time her lungs screamed for death or decomposition stroked her skin before her nose—she just didn’t want to admit it.
“That sounds distressing,” she offered, dropping a twig on the pile. There weren’t many substantial sticks on the forest floor here. Colt had been busy. “Not knowing, I mean… but you do it regardless. Perhaps you just don’t want to consider that you do already know the answer. Humans rarely exert such energy doing things without clear benefit. Even delayed but known gratification is challenging for many.” She had to admit, Colt was interesting. And in a more approachable manner than many of the local phenomena Regan tried not to touch. Colt was not claiming to be something that shouldn’t exist.
Regan’s eyes lit up at the mention of relics. “This is some kind of ceremonial practice, then?” She was thoroughly an atheist, but these piles of sticks were not crosses, and Colt was not citing a higher power. This was, Regan realized, her opportunity to come off as exceedingly normal. Here Colt was admitting to something she lacked an explanation for, but seemed to desire one on some level. Regan could be the human. The more normal one. “You could be trying to attract the Dullahan,” she offered, normally. “Are these intended to be representative of humans without heads? It needs some work. Significant work. But I am here to assist.”
—
It was distressing, when she really stopped to think about it. Which was why she often tried not to think about it. Who wanted to invite that kind of anxiety into their life? Not Colt. She was a doer, and doers weren’t fucking quitters. Or something.
“Hm… maybe I do. Maybe you’re on to something.” She absolutely did not already know the answer, but she could fake it for the sake of this interaction. Or, more helpfully, maybe Regan would provide one that she hadn’t considered.
It seemed that her wish might come true as Regan brightened at the word relics. Colt watched intently, listening and nodding as Regan began to fill in the gaps for her. “Yeah… yeah! It is!” That sounded right. Ceremonial practice… it made as much sense as anything, didn’t it? She continued to bundle the sticks in a specific configuration and wrap twine around the intersections, stopping only when Regan said something she didn’t understand. As in, used a word she didn’t recognize. Dullahan. And her project, was it… humans without heads? She glanced at the relic in her hand, squinting her eyes at it. It didn’t look much like a human without a head, but if that’s what Regan thought it should be… “The Dullahan. They like humans without heads.” She rolled it around in her mind, waiting for that sense of affirmation or rejection. There was a long, pregnant pause, and then it came. Affirmation. Colt lit up, a wide grin cracking across her face. “Yes! Yes, that’s it! Headless humans for the Dullahan!” She held out the relic to Regan, motioning for her to join Colt on the forest floor. “Show me how! And… I know it sounds weird, since I’m out here trying to make these for the Dullahan, but I think maybe… how much do you know about them? It? Mm. Start with the pronouns, I think, and go from there. I want to learn, if you’ll teach me.”
—
If Regan were someone who smiled easily, it might have split her face right then. Colt was out here trying to attract the Dullahan, and what was more relatable than that? And she was excited! Eager to ask for Regan’s (Regan’s!!) vast knowledge on the subject. Daniel had been approved by Her Headlessness, but their subsequent attempts to attract her bore no fruit. Now, in the presence of someone new, also seeking answers, maybe she would find success (they might find success, sorry… both of them).
“I’ll teach you. Certainly! I am an expert.” Regan stood straighter, the stick in her hand just barely reaching the dirt. She dragged it and made some crude lines, which only Jade would’ve recognized for a horse. Above, the clouds blotted out the sun, casting a cool over her skin, turning the dirt grey. Regan’s tone went hush despite her preference for volume. “She’s Death’s most faithful arbiter. Death does not have the hands to wield a weapon, so it works through her. Dullahan means ‘dark man’ in Irish, you know—humans cannot fathom a woman more lethal than any man.” Regan spared a roll of her eyes and continued. “She rides through the moors on her skeletal horse. And she carries a human spine, which she uses as a whip.” She drew the curvature of a spine, imagining those spinous processes against her throat once more. The bruises took days to yellow and a week to vanish. “She has no head—well, she is in possession of one, but she carries it—and she takes the heads of others. Almost everyone she encounters. Almost.” Regan placed her free hand on her chest, straightening even more. “Except for the worthy, those she knows will serve well.”
And except for when she made mistakes, which may or may not have been possible. Regan almost believed the Dullahan’s judgement on most days, but the problem was that she could not be sure when she would be serving appropriately. Was it now? In a hundred years? She needed it to be now, but she did not believe that those two things could coexist in their entirety—duty and love, both equally soaked and heavy in her own blood.
Regan looked down at the stick pile, which… okay, none of it came close to a headless approximation of a human. “If you are attempting to call her, then you might be worthy. Not as worthy as I, of course, but—” Her stomach gnashed at its own lining and she winced. “I think she might see something in you. Besides your organs.” Regan propped her stick up like a flag in the center of the nest, then looked at Colt. “We should give it arms. And legs, lest it look like a cross. She’d never show, then.”
—
If there’s some powerful being out there, then we ought to know it, the voice in Colt’s head stated matter-of-factly when she began questioning her whole line of fuzzy logic. And an arbiter of death is exactly that.
Sure, okay, voice in my head, she thought, frowning to herself as she and Regan made little headless stick people together on the forest floor, I’ll just accept that at face value and ask literally nothing else about it.
Good.
She would have groaned if not for the present company, and some uncontrollable urge to please the woman and befriend her that persisted even while these negative emotions were stirring in her gut. She didn’t like not feeling in control, and Colt almost never felt in control these days. Whatever was going on with her, she couldn’t put a name to it, but it had historically always been easier to just roll with it than it was to try and push back. So she erased the annoyance from her face, glancing over at Regan and smiling again.
“You make those really well,” she commented. “It must be on account of how worthy you are. Did you actually meet her? The Dullahan?” The title sounded clumsy in her mouth, and Colt gave a meek shrug. “She didn’t, like, whip you with that spine or anything?”
—
“She did, actually!” Regan brightened, her fingers brushing her neck where the Dullahan had purpled her pulse. She could already register Colt’s disbelief. Probably some jealousy, too. “Well, sort of. It was not a whipping, so much as a choking. The whip is quite flexible, I have found. Can you imagine what it must be like to have your spine used as her whip? You would be dead, of course, but merely knowing that was her intention…”
Regan glanced at Colt—exceptional, smiling Colt—then back at the stick human in progress. She grasped a small bundle of sticks and selected a couple for arms, though they had rather poor muscle definition. None were really suitable for limbs, but Colt seemed pleased with the ones Regan had chosen regardless. “Do you have a good leg over there? The proportions differ too much between these.” She frowned at the options in her hands. “I am thinking nude is better. Clothes only create distance between oneself and the Dullahan.” And nobody would desire that.
Colt did seem, perhaps, a touch distracted, though. Consumed by thoughts of the Dullahan, or focusing on the choice of stick legs, maybe. Or she might have been the kind of person to drift. Regan would bring her back. This was important. “Do you have anything we can use to fasten the limbs to the stick? And… are you nervous? You must have set about this for a reason. Just remember that.” Only, Colt has never quite articulated that reason, had she?
—
“Oh. Wow, that’s…” Kinky. Okay, no, this probably wasn’t the time for jokes, even though it wanted to explode out of Colt like the fizzy, frothing effervescence of a soda can that’d been shaken to the point of bursting. Humor was just kind of like that, for her. “That’s incredible,” she compromised, allowing the awe to slide over her features. She didn’t know if she believed it, not really, but the presence that filled her, body and soul, was quick to accept it. “And hey, I guess my spine being used as a whip is definitely better than it just sitting in the dirt, right? Reduce, reuse, recycle…” Something clenched in her gut and she grimaced, feeling like she was being scolded for making light of a very bizarre situation. “Said with all due respect, of course.”
Sifting through the pile of sticks for one that met Regan’s leg needs, Colt tucked her hair behind her ear. “Hm… yeah, how’s this one?” She picked one up and held it out for comparison, then made a face. “No, nope, still too short… hang on.” She continued rooting, feeling her mind start to wander too closely to the question she was always asking herself: why.
It’s not a big deal. Just stick figures in the woods. And a nice, pretty lady that wants to help make them. Not weird.
“Oh! Yeah, totally.” Colt passed Regan the twine she’d brought along, then let out a soft gasp as she found the perfect length leg-stick. “Here! This should do, right?” The second half of the question caught her off guard, and she fumbled her words for a few more nervous seconds before laughing it off. “Hah! No, nervous? Me? Never. I’m just… I just go with the flow, you know? Let the wind carry me. I get weird whims sometimes and I just gotta listen to them. I’m sure there’s a reason for this, you’re totally right. I just…” Don’t know what it is. “Well, that gets a little lost sometimes. I usually figure it out in the end, though!”
—
“The dead never really just sit in the dirt,” Regan explained, “decomposing is a very active process, and the cadaver is one of the major participants. Arguably the most important.” She suspected Colt could appreciate this. Colt was, in Regan’s esteemed opinion, one of the finest humans Wicked’s Rest had dropped into her orbit so far. Rarely were people both open-minded toward the right things while skeptical toward the rest, with enough discernment to choose correctly.
Colt’s selected stick was slightly too short (though it could have been one of Jade’s if the other stick had been of matching length). Colt, however, was clearly a perfectionist, and she preferred a leg that was better proportioned for the existing sticks. Regan didn’t remark but waited and watched the self-correction. The new stick, smooth and lengthy, did not disappoint. “You are good at this. You must have leg experience.”
For just a second, Colt’s self-assuredness faltered. Perhaps there were some nerves in there (figuratively; obviously there were neurons). Regan knew some ‘go with the bloodflow’ type people, Jade being one of them. It was inscrutable to her, but Jade and Colt were both alive into their 30s, so it seemed effective enough for them. “Your intuition seems correct thus far. To me, at least. And whatever you’re still uncertain of, you can ask the Dullahan. We can practice discussing it first, if it would help.” The Dullahan, who would surely show up tonight. The moon’s thick habitus was full of promise; it was just beginning to leak light over their stick-bodies. Regan waited a breath, then another, then too many more, her eyes scanning the trees and brush. Part of her had assumed the Dullahan would simply gallop out through mist that wasn’t here yet, exactly when expected. That was silly. The best things in death took time, and Regan was not one to sit in the dirt either. She looked back at Colt, who was also prickling with anticipation. “We could build more. While we wait. She might like that—you know, that we both have dedicated more time to preparations.”
Regan just had to do one thing first. She pulled her phone from her pocket and texted a stór. I will be slightly late tonight. I have met an acquaintance, who I find acceptable to spend time with this evening. Do not be concerned; it is your fluids I await. Regan nearly put her phone away, but realized she needed to follow up with another message. This one is alive.
[PM] Uh. Well, he wasn't exactly a man. Or a he, I don't think. Not always. Sometimes he was a giant sea monster thing but I don't think [...] I think it's more like it's sharing your body. Like. Not quite possession but [...] Okay, I guess a lot like possession, really. But it's not bad! I promise! It just needed a place to [...] lay low. Is the it of it all freaking you out because I feel like that might be wild if you didn't know Levi Um. Yes, I think it would be that voice you hear but also not exactly magic like that. More like- I dunno, witches and wizards? Anyway. Apparently Levi- That's its name, the magic man. Levi. It was hiding, I guess. I think it said Norway? And you stumbled upon it and so it kind of [...] hitched a ride. [... ... ... ...] It's really a good guy, over all, I swear.
[pm] What does that mean?? It?? [ user has to have another meltdown about this for about ten minutes ] So I AM like that girl from the exorcist? Fuck! I don't wanna start spewing goo, dude!
[... ... ...] Okay, sorry. This is a lot and I think I try to use humor when I am absolutely losing my mind. Because I am. [...] This is crazy. Okay. I'm going to take everything you're saying at face value, because you seem like a nice enough guy, but I HAVE to ask... how do YOU know it? Levi. The [...] thing using me as a safe house. [ user feels dizzy ] Norway, okay, yeah. I remember that. Sorta. I was just hiking, minding my own b, and there was this huge fuck off cave, and I thought... well I thought I shouldn't go inside, ice caves are dangerous, but I wanted to. I needed to. Was that... Levi? Coaxing me in? Bastard-- I don't really remember what happened after that, I just remember leaving and deciding I needed to cut my trip short and head back to the US. To Maine. So... that's why I'm here now, I guess? Was this all about the crap happening with that [... ...] thing I found underground?
Yay! Glad to count on you! Oh right I need other policies [User has to think about what else she would do as a councilwoman. she did not think that far ahead.] I'd love to make sure the town stays safe. So many wacky weather things happen all the time around here, so we gotta for real improve public safety. All the worms and shrimp are really becoming a major hassle!
Dude, seriously, what is it with worms around here? Shrimp I haven't seen as much of, but I haven't been around long... gonna keep an eye out... anyway, yeah. Some storm shelters might be a good start, considering this summer typhoon nonsense we're having. Not even supposed to get those here, this definitely is not a tropical climate!!
Oh! I guess I never considered that would be a business but it makes sense. Good to know there are people who love the animals behind those operations. I'll be sure to keep an eye out once we're back into Christmas time. All those Hallmark movies, I'm sure I'll see some reindeer.
I'm gonna have to get that embroidered on something and hang it by the door into the courtyard.
Yeah! We did horses, too, but obviously that market is a little more saturated, so I can't give every trained horse in cinema the Barbosa seal of best in show... I helped train a looooot of horses growing up, though. Haha, you bet! A couple years before heading out into the wide world on my own adventure, I personally helped deliver some reindeer to the Hallmark Media headquarters in Burbank. They were working on some movies for that Countdown to Christmas thing they do.
That doesn't seem right. I can name at least three different recent slime related emergencies just off the top of my head. But I suppose if you won't take care of them, I've Kelly's number saved. [user does, unfortunately, have kelly's number saved.]
Ohh, you're one of thos-- I gotcha! That's fair. I guess I don't know if I can call Doorknob my pet, especially since I didn't pick him out, he just kinda showed up one day, but...
I dunno! Lots of people who like animals as much as you usually end up caring for a handful of them. Pets or no!
TIMING: Recent
LOCATION: On the way to Sunset Spire
PARTIES: @californiacolt & @highoctanegem
SUMMARY: Jade gets lost in her trek. Thankfully, Colt is there to help.
CONTENT WARNING: None!
So, as she was saying, Jade was getting closer and closer to hitting the jackpot. (Where was she saying this, you might ask? One of her more recent eps. With that big rattly skeleton thingy that worked as a bonding experience for her and Owen) (Good stuff, she might play a recap before this one, so no one felt lost) (Actually, long story short: she was 83 percent sure that her nemesis’s den would be somewhere in the outskirts of Wicked’s Rest). She was close, like that meme with the pickaxe and the diamonds, and she couldn’t stop now, when she’d finally gained some momentum. Unfortunately, this momentum came at the cost of spending more time in the most annoying part of the town: The woods.
And… how did people ever know where to go on these random hikes? For some time now, Jade had had an inkling that her poor navigational skills weren’t just a quirky trait that made her clumsier and more endearing to the audience at home. But nope, it was becoming increasingly obvious (nearing confirmation) that actually, her brain was wired in a way so she couldn’t tell where she was going. (A deficit, the Regan from three years ago would’ve called it). The sign she’d seen five minutes ago had literally told her exactly where she should go. (How hard could it be for someone to follow simple directions?) (Apparently, for her, it was an actual issue) (But also, it couldn’t be that unique of a problem. Who even knew what the Northeast was?)
Jade wasn’t like, worried about getting lost, though (first of all, she never worried, second of all, she knew Regan was following her tracking dot like a hawk and would send a search party the moment she felt something was amiss), but it was frustrating, that was all. So she was fuming as she stomped around the endless row of trees and… whatever else (yuck), realizing that there was no way she would ever become the type of hunter that people would one day grow to admire. A good hunter would’ve been good with directions, a good hunter wouldn’t have let a random hike become the bane of her existence. (Technically, a good hunter wouldn’t have let herself be swayed on her principles) (But that had been a good thing, right? The newest polls showed decent approval of that switch)
Anyway, looping back to the beginning of the story, and the reason Jade was currently annoyed with nature. There were some sort of towering catacombs nearby. Somewhere. It was supposed to be Northeast of the sign she’d passed. But… right, she’d lost track of Northeast, so she was mostly guiding herself with GPS now. (She didn’t trust online maps to be faithful about what was in the woods, but it was better than nothing).
As if TPTB had heard her complaints (they could’ve, she was being pretty loud), they sent an angel to help her. A woman farther ahead on the trail, whom Jade had somehow caught up to. “Hi!” she shouted, waving her hand dramatically until she was spotted. Now that she looked totally unthreatening, Jade jogged toward her, smiling bright and relieved. “You just became my favorite person in the world”.
—
Familiarizing herself with the forests was usually one of the first things Colt did after moving to a new place, but then her job as a wildland firefighter usually required that, so she’d been a little slower on the uptake this time since she was now municipal instead. Also it’d been wintertime, which was not a great season for tramping around in an unknown landscape. But, as things finally began to warm up and the earth was allowed to start its thaw, she found herself taking longer and longer walks in the woodlands with a pep in her step and a bizarre sensation of familiarity that was entirely misplaced.
Ignoring it (as she did with most things), Colt was able to chalk much of it up to deja vu, figuring that at some point all forests kinda started to look the same, didn’t they? (They didn’t, but that was the lie she was going with for now.) Unbothered, she hitched her pack a little higher on her back and bopped energetically down the trail, lost in her own thoughts until a voice broke her from the reverie.
Eyes wide, she whipped around to see who’d shouted at her – their tone didn’t indicate trouble, but still! As her gaze fell on the waving figure, she felt her shoulders relax, matching the smile she was given as she came to a full stop to allow them to catch up. “Oh, wow! An honor!” she laughed, cocking her head at the stranger. “Are you okay?” Context was leading her in a single direction, and she decided to run with it. “Did you… get lost?”
—
“An honor you totally deserve, babe,” Jade confirmed with authority in her voice, like she belonged in some kinda committee and she’d tracked this lady down just to give her the very good news. (She would be in the kinda committee that awarded super important stuff like “Fashion daddy” or “Best stomach”, probably). The other woman seemed to quickly catch on to what the problem was, even if her initial question was a teeny tiny bit loaded. Was she okay? Was anyone? (Wow, who was she? Whatever happened to looking at the positive side of things?) (Oh! She hadn’t had her snack yet, that had to be it. Yup). Jade let out a modest laugh, not going full cackle yet, cause you know, it was better to calibrate her enthusiasm once she figured out what vibes were being reciprocated. “I’m peachy! Just, you know… You gotta love nature,” she forced a bigger smile, swatting a bug flying close to her ear. (She ignored the deep, unjustified fear bubbling in her chest at the buzzing sound). Then reached into her bag to get a candy bar.
Even if Jade was known to pick random favorites everywhere she went, her intentions this time were clear enough that the woman figured them out super fast. This blatant gratitude had to be for a reason (and she was right, of course). Jade didn’t know why she was wasting both of their time downplaying it, but she didn’t stop it from happening. (She was totally the type of gal to enjoy the journey before reaching the destination) (Unless it was the journey toward Sunset Spire) (Then she could absolutely hate it). “What? Oh, n—no… I mean… just a little, like, half lost. Nay, a third.” And oh, okay… she was still musing on that failure thingy, right? That’s why admitting she couldn’t do something was messing with her. She was so self-aware these days. Imagine if that fixed everything like a super powerful cheat code in a game. Alas, it had fixed nothing. Least of all, her ability to follow directions. (It’d also made her experience brand new things such as “anxiety” and “panic attacks”, so she wasn’t sure why everyone made self-awareness to be some sort of beacon of human development) (This barely earned a 2 out of 6 on her own scale).
“I was… kinda, mhm,” she bristled in defeat, gaze darting around the trail. “It all looks the same after a while, doesn’t it? I dunno how some people don’t get tired of it,” it was said respectfully, of course. Cause the chances of encountering a second forest hater wandering exactly where Jade was had to be 1 in a trillion. So this wasn’t about yucking anybody’s yum. But right, focus. She could complain about the woods when she was safe at home with Regan. (Oh! She should make sure to gather some bones to bring back) (Maybe a dead bird) (She’d made a habit of bringing gloves and plastic bags anytime she knew she’d be around dead animals). For now, her new friend looked super open to helping (hence, favorite person), so she had to take advantage of it.
“I was… um, under the impression that there were some catacombs nearby. So, I have a nerd friend… obsessed with like, archeology and stuff, he recommended them to me, cause I’m trying to be a more educated girly and stuff,” that wasn’t true, the whole story, even if every little bit of info that made up the story was real but…separately. (She had a nerd friend. Several even) (But one who focused on old foundations and stuff) (And she was trying to get educated on them, but for vampire reasons) (So it wasn’t lying either, technically). “I’m supposed to be heading… that way,” Jade continued, shouldering her bag. Her stakes rattled inside, but bringing small pieces of wood into the forest was probably like, a family reunion or something. No one should bat an eye. “And it was easier to see the tower from a distance, but now it’s like… tall trees everywhere,” she rolled her eyes at that, and she was about to laugh again, but she stared at the other woman, taking on her appearance. The bag. The happy demeanor like you didn’t see often in town these days. Hikers could be tourists…right. Her features turned apologetic. “Wait, are you even like, from around? Do you know what I’m talking about?”
—
Okay, so she was denying that she was lost, despite the excited outburst over seeing another human clearly indicating her relief. Maybe it was something else – was she being pursued? Or had she truly just gotten lonely? Colt wasn’t one to jump to conclusions about people, even though judging a book by its cover is literally the best way to pick one you might like in a sea of other books… but, bad metaphor aside, she tried to not make assumptions. She tried, but sometimes she did, and this woman was definitely lost, in trouble, or such an extrovert that her attempt to center herself in nature had totally and dramatically failed. Definitely had to be one of the three. Colt listened, not interrupting as the woman worked through her thoughts, trying to find the words that would explain why she had flagged Colt down.
Eventually, they got to the truth. It was a big spiral with lots of unnecessary steps, but the center was reached. Catacombs. “Ooh. Spooky.” Colt nodded along, thinking about what she knew of the area – had she passed catacombs before? Would she even know what those looked like if she did? Hang on, now the educated (to be) girly was mentioning a tower, and… oh! Oh, wait, she totally had seen a tower somewhere around here before! At a distance, and she hadn’t been able to find it when she’d looked for it either, but today was a great day to try again! Before she could interject with the fantastic news, the woman was apologizing with her eyes and asking if Colt was a townie. She sucked in a short breath, a finger held aloft as she was ready to pick a definitely not random direction for them to walk in to find the tower, and paused.
“No! To the first thing. But yes to the second! I’m—I live here now, anyway. In Netherville!” She didn’t need to share that. Oops. “For a few months! But I’ve been hiking around for a couple weeks now and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you tower! Though it was covered in snow… oh! Oh, wait, I saw it during the winter! On my way here — I hiked from Canada. I definitely remember seeing a tower above the trees at some point. Boy, it was cool looking. That was a catacomb? Freaking wild, dude.” She curled her finger back down to her palm, spinning around on the spot to get a good look in every direction. “We can totally find your catacomb, abso-posi-tutely. I have a great memory for these things.” With a bit more (almost) performative scanning, Colt jabbed her arm in front of her and pointed in a new direction. Not quite where she’d been heading, and not where this woman had come from.
“Oh. Also, I’m Colt!” She said with a grin, reaching over her own arm with the opposite hand to shake.
—
Jade pulled the wrapper on her candy bar slash healthy snack (it was some kinda compromise between her and Regan) (cause trail mix was obviously reserved for roadtrips, not trail walkings) (wait a second…) and tore it open. It was one of those bars that had like, extra proteins (all the good ones, probably) and organic ingredients, but the best part was that it was covered in a layer of bitter chocolate. She loved her bitter chocolate. That was chocolate that was honest about being chocolate (unlike white chocolate, that poser). She split the bar and offered what was left inside the wrapper to her new friend.
Luckily for Jade (this was a phrase she had on repeat, actually) (she was just that blessed or whatever), the woman did actually know a little bit about the town. So, yay! Jade perked up at the mention of the newest neighborhood in town, cause she’d always been super curious about what went down there. “No way! How’s that like? Every time I go near it, I get the creeps, I hate having to make deliveries there, my GPS freaks out.” She recalled how she and Zack had talked about going down Netherville to investigate, cause the whole thing gave them fishy vibes (not fishy, fishy, cause that place didn’t look like an ideal swimming place, but what did she know? Not a lot) (See? Self-aware), but then that never panned out. So maybe now, with Colt (her favorite person), she could have her Netherville expert on call.
Girly said she could definitely take her to the catacombs, she just kept racking up points. And how could Jade not believe her? She looked like, all profesh and ready! Someone who hiked all the way from Canada (?) (She was gonna need more deets on that in a beat) would never ever fool her. She was even doing that spinning trick they probably taught all Scouts to reorient herself. (It looked a little dizzying, in Jade’s opinion, but she trusted science). This woman was starting to feel a lot less like a random tourist and more like a strategically placed NPC to inadvertently guide her on this quest that might finally blow the lid off her elder vampire tracking. (Which sounded offensive to this woman, but look, she loved NPCs, she loved stopping by them and exhausting all lines of dialogue).
Finally, the woman landed on a direction to follow. It wasn’t the one Jade had been headed toward, but honestly? That didn’t surprise her. What did surprise her a little, in a good way, was how the woman introduced herself. “Wow. It’s so nice to meet you. Colt’s a great name. Your parents were cooking with that one, or well, whoever named you,” cause sometimes that task fell on responsible little sisters who didn’t want their fourth sibling to be left out of the family theme names (hypothetically). “And I’m Jade,” she shook Colt’s hand, practically vibrating with excitement (in retrospect, maybe that wasn’t what made her body tingly, but enough foreshadowing), then slowly stepped in the winning direction. To the catacombs! (Or Canada) (Whatever they found first)
—
Accepting the offered snack with a brightly colored thank you, Colt led the charge in their determined catacomb-positive direction. “Jade! I love that, too! So pretty. Great color, and I bet you look super hot in it!” She scrunched her nose in a laugh, then shrugged. “Netherville is great. It’s like, kinda cozy, you know? If you’re afraid of the dark maybe not so much, but I think it’s neat. Some bioluminescent plants and stuff grow down there that make it all glowy and pretty… and I like the quiet. Not a lot of people wandering around being loud and drunk when I’m trying to sleep, you know? That crap gets annoying. Especially with my wack ass schedule.” She took a bite of the health bar, chewing quietly for a moment before speaking again. “Mm! Which is wack of ass because I’m a firefighter, and we do twenty-four hour shifts at the station. So I basically sleep whenever I can, and I’m just glad to be in a neighborhood that’s a little sleepier than the rest.” Deersprings would have been another good alternative, but it was too pricey. “Plus, it’s mad cheap.”
“You said you make deliveries to Netherville – of what, if you don’t mind my asking? You’re a courier?”
—
Like, if she had to be lost in the middle of the woods cause plot demanded it (but, why did it demand it, again?) (Oh right, slaying) (Yup, she was totally locked in on her mission now)... Sorry, she missed her cue. She was starting from the top, okay? Perfect. Like Jade was saying, if she had to be lost in the middle of the woods cause it was what TPTB wanted of her, then she couldn’t be more grateful that she was stuck with someone like Colt. She wasn’t Jade’s new favorite person just cause she saved her from her awful sense of direction. Her vibes were also unmatched. (Like seriously, how long had it been since she found someone who brightened her mood like this?) (Not since her bestie Mickey, probably) (And, okay, she couldn’t complain, then) (She’d gotten lucky twice in a year). Jade was so delighted by Colt’s words-per-minute ratio that it almost gave her an adrenaline rush. She was totally keeping up with everything she said, of course. She had to make sure her yapper credentials weren’t rusty after all the introverted cuties she’d befriended.
She gave Colt the best of her active listening, laughing when she complimented her name (she was totally right, her name was all kinds of metal) (and she did look amazing in green), oohing and ahhing when it was needed. She made a mental note to ask the other girl for her number eventually, cause they were obviously gonna be like joint at the hip from now on, but also, maybe a little tour of Netherville wouldn’t be so awful if a friend held her hand. And wait, what was that? Colt’s legend grew as she revealed she worked as a firefighter. Her mouth dropped, followed by a beaming smile. “Wait! I have a friend who is a firefighter,” Jade chimed in, mimicking Colt’s excitement. “Well, two now, obviously. But I was thinking about Kelly. Do you guys all know each other?” In her head, they all firefighters hung out together, and dealt with all sorts of shenanigans and hijinks. Sitcom style.
Colt asked more deets about Jade’s job, which she was thrilled to share. “I don’t mind at all, babe. I’m like, an open book.” As long as people didn’t look too closely at all the paywalled chapters. (Shh). “And I meant food. I go around on my motorcycle providing nourishment to those in need. Which, I know— I’m planning to upgrade to a car, by the way. I’m on all the apps, you know?” And Colt totally seemed like the kinda person who knew about apps (thankfully). She never minded having to explain it all, but a smooth convo was such a nice change of pace.
Jade could feel a monologue coming, about the differences between the apps, which one she liked more (she was a Doordash girly), best customers (Garrett, who always ordered the same thing from Clubweigh and tipped so generously), worst customers (Kathy, from two years ago), weirdest things she’d ever delivered. (Again, for Kathy. She knew what she did). But that strange sensation on her skin from earlier got harder to ignore as the trek progressed. It wasn’t strange anymore, actually. It was the most familiar thrumming she had ever experienced. Something undead was close. (Ugh. Talk about a party pooper). “Hold that thought.” She lifted her index finger, even if Colt hadn’t actually said anything. The whimsy in Jade’s gaze died out, replaced by a look of concentration. “I think there’s someone around,” someone or something, but she was gonna be forced into that convo later. It was probably in the best interest of their budding friendship that she didn’t sound like a total bigot right off the bat.
—
The reaction to hearing her friend’s name was instant joy, but almost as fast as it had come on, it was suddenly colored by something darker. “Oh boy, yeah, do I ever!” Her tone still matched her initial reaction, though it was very slightly forced. It wasn’t that she and Kelly had issues so much as, well… things had become a lot more complicated after the whole… she didn’t even like thinking about it. And that was part of the problem, wasn’t it? Something had happened; she’d taken a group of near-strangers to some way-out-of-the-way crater impact site and demanded that they start digging. By the grace of whoever was up there listening, they had found something, but Colt couldn’t explain it. She hadn’t even tried to when she’d called Kelly in for some help – help with what? Moving the damn thing from where it was sleeping peacefully to a new underground home, all reportedly for the benefit of the town. Considering the details about it made her head hurt, so she tried her best to just… not do that. But then there was Kelly, someone she’d known from before either of them ended up in this town, someone she trusted, and who had been pretty fucking freaked out about her discovering that creature under the earth. Who had avoided her for quite some time afterward, which she also didn’t like thinking about, because she didn’t understand why and it made her feel like there was something wrong with her. (Which, to be clear, there definitely was. But that was another thing that she couldn’t — or wouldn’t — name.) “Good ol’ baby Brooks, I call him. Actually, I have a whole arsenal of nicknames that he probably finds annoying, but honestly, that’s kinda my job as his un-offish big sis. Well shoot, we’ll all have to hang out some time!”
“Stop, that’s freaking cute as hell, delivering food on a motorcycle! I think a car will def make it easier on you, and maybe the food, but gosh those vibes are impeccable. Hm! Either way, I’m keeping that in mind the next time I order in… I wonder if I can request a specific driver…” She was a bit lost in her own thoughts when Jade told her to hold them, which earned her new friend a couple of raised brows. Jade suddenly looked super alert, and it set Colt a bit on edge. But she dutifully kept her trap shut, at least until Jade spoke again, at which point she huffed out a breath. She could have made a flippant comment about how it wasn’t really that surprising that someone else was out here, try and make the vibe feel more casual again, but the seriousness that now radiated off of the woman stopped her dead in her tracks. Metaphorically in that she wasn’t going to bother trying to lighten the mood, and literally in that she came to an abrupt halt and looked around them.
“Yeah?” she asked quietly, feeling a shiver run down her spine. As if on cue, some nearby brush started to rustle and Colt took the tiniest of steps away from the sound. “Someone else… checking out the catacombs, maybe?” Hopefully.
—
It wasn’t like, a long or awkward silence by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, her impeccable timing told Jade that Colt took a beat and a half at most to answer her question about Kelly, but still, if they were bound to become kindred spirits (which, she fully believed at this point) (they were gonna bond so hard surviving the wilderness in Canada), they had to be able to read each other’s souls, their inner most hidden secrets with one look. All of this to say, the teeny tiny beat Colt pondered the question did feel a bit loaded. Her nosy radars were pinging hard for some potential juicy story between the two firefighters. She was picturing all sorts of scenarios, from typical schedule conflicts to romantic tension, from ‘he stole my favorite mug’ to ‘I went on a murder spree and killed all my other fellow firefighters’ (that one was drawing inspo from her own life, sure, whatever), but Jade decided to wait it out. “Baby Brooks is adorbs. Especially since he has his own baby Brooks. The babiest Brooks, even,” she grinned at that, getting the cutest mental picture of one tiny sippy cup and one giant sippy cup, to symbolize father and son. Also, Colt was right, they would definitely have to hang out eventually, and that’s when Jade would have front seats to their dynamic to figure out if she had read the extra half beat of silence correctly or if she was just bored and making up drama for the sake of it.
Not that she needed to make up drama if she was bored. Real life was keeping her on her toes right about now. Throwing her a little bone, like here… if you need something thrilling. Jade hummed an affirmative when Colt asked if she was sure about what she heard. It wasn’t even needed, cause right then, as if on cue (a paid actor, if you will), something rustled nearby again. She really did hate the woods, so freaking much (it was probably coming as a shock to everyone) (since she’d been so nice about it for five whole minutes after she literally found her new favorite person in it). Not to say that random undead creatures couldn’t show up to ruin the day in residential areas, obviously. But just… if the forest already sucked, why add suckier things to it? Ruin her day, why don’t ya?
Jade crossed her fingers that Colt had the right guess, and a third hiker was about to show up on the way to the catacombs. She was so not waiting out the reveal though, cause as soon as she caught a glimpse of what was definitely a non-human foot, Jade yanked Colt to find cover. Which turned out to be a massive rock. (Set design really popped off with that one) (It worked as a nice seat for hikers and as a trench for slayers) (You know, all of the ones that patrolled the woods). “Nope, I really don’t think this one wants a little tour to the catacombs.” Her heart was only half in the quip, really. But she was nothing if not dedicated to reading the lines on her script. Plus, they did need a tiny reprieve before introducing the monster of the week.
Her gaze moved from Colt to the creature making its way to the center of the stage, ready for its spotlight. Recently, Jade had been dealing with tons of stuff that wasn’t in the ancient texts she studied growing up. So you better believe she let out a small breath of relief when she saw what she was up against. Chimeras were familiar territory for her. (Not this one in particular formation, obviously) (Like, they weren’t on a first-name basis, but she knew of its family in a way). Chimeras in Roseville used to be easy peasy. Of course, Wicked’s Rest had something a little spicier to offer, compared to the ones she was used to seeing. Cause like, why did this one’s tail end in a clawed hand? Why, out of the six…seven legs Jade counted, three of them were spider-looking? (Scorpion? Sorry, she didn’t know her arachnids). Then, the wings on its back could’ve been any regular degular bird, but in this town? She had a hunch that they had belonged to an animal that could shoot all sorts of dangerous things. Same with the beak. There were patches of fur too, along the chimera’s belly, but she would’ve had to be a true expert to figure out what it belonged to. (She hoped no adorable bears were hurt in the making of this chimera). And finally, the antlers. Which were huge, and made Jade question how this wolf-sized creature was keeping its balance like that.
While still having the advantage of distance and cover, Jade reached for her backpack, placed it on the ground, and started prepping her crossbow. She set aside her bowie to finish the thing off. She was not a shoot to kill person. Cause shooting to kill, even with creatures like this, always felt a step too far. Too…kill-y for her liking, you know? It didn’t matter how “merciful” of an alternative people claimed it might be. She struggled to wrap her mind around it. (Um, yup, she was a trained killer, thank you for pointing it out) (This only had to make sense in her head). She preferred to weaken her enemy and then do it the slayer way. There was dignity in that. A stake or fire or decapitation. It honored the centuries of people who came before her. But then again (since she was so deep in her self-aware era), where had that mindset gotten her? Wouldn’t she benefit sometimes from just… switching it up a bit? Doing the one strike to kill move once in a while? (Reviewing the evidence now. And… she did have both limbs. And she hadn’t been brought back from death. Or returned as a vengeful undead) (But it was definitely not making her like, the most efficient she could be, probably) (And that was what this all came down to, she still wanted to be better, still wanted to be good, even if all the competition dropping like flies left her in a bit of a better standing).
She didn’t put all those thoughts aside just yet, but she readied to attack either way. (The hunting didn’t stop just cause you were having a bit of a moment) (She’d know. Moments have been ongoing for like, three years now). Quiver loaded, she rested the nose of the weapon against the rock. “Have you ever seen a chimera before?” she whispered to Colt.
—
Colt let out a little yelp as she was dragged into a hiding spot, her heart rate spiking dramatically as she wrestled with the new understanding that this was clearly not another hiker. What, then? A bear? A wolf pack? Wait, did Maine even have wolves? No, no – coyotes? Those could still be dangerous in large numbers. Or – oh god, what if it was a bull moose? Then they’d be fucked. She hunkered down, trying to keep her breathing low and even so she could better hear what was going on behind them, not daring to turn around and look.
But Jade was looking, and also pulling a fucking crossbow out of her bag. Colt sank even lower with her back pressed to the boulder, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment and letting out a soft whimper of fear before realizing that not being able to see anything was even scarier. Her gaze flicked over to Jade, who seemed to have everything under control, somehow… and looked calm as a cucumber, for all intents and purposes. Did this happen a lot? Was the wildlife here really that wild? (See also: violent. She’d spent enough time in various forests to know how to deal with predators and dangerous herbivores, but this felt different, for some reason. She couldn’t place why.)
Before she could whisper to Jade to ask what the creature was, Jade was asking her something instead. Had she ever… what? Seen a what?
Colt let out a sharp, bemused sound, almost like a laugh but not quite. “What? A chimera? Like…” She couldn’t help what sprang to her mind, and the adrenaline coursing through her bloodstream was making it hard to think rationally. “Like those fucking monsters in Fullmetal Alchemist? No, what do you–” Curiosity had her now, forcing her to turn her shoulder against the boulder and peer over the top of it to see what in the fresh hell Jade was talking about.
What stared back at her was, frankly, the most terrifying thing she’d ever laid eyes on.
The scream was a knee-jerk reaction, Colt finding herself unable to stifle it as she reeled backwards and away from the boulder. At first it was just a sound, and then it was a mishmash of words that lacked any real sense. Maybe a ‘what the fuck is that’ if you strained hard. The… the thing snapped its attention toward her, opening its beak and letting out a horrific noise that only made Colt scream louder. She panicked, scrambling in the underbrush to try and get to her feet and get the fuck out of there, but then the beast was moving.
—
Okay, so… Colt was like, a legit normie. It was so rare for Jade to encounter one of those in the wild nowadays. (And sure, maybe normie was the wrong term, cause Regan (bless her heart) (actually, pause for two beats to swoon about her bone partner…) (...) (‘kay, done) was as far away from a normie as she could be, and she still didn’t believe in any of this stuff). The point was, Colt had like, the most normal, valid reaction to seeing a freaking aberration showing up out of nowhere to ruin their hike that Jade had witnessed in a long, long while.
“Oooh, okay, I haven’t seen that show. It’s like anime, right? Mm, not really my wheelhouse, but if you ever watched Teen Wolf, or read Percy Jackson, it’s kinda the same basis. Buncha creatures mixed together, very Frankenstein.” She explained calmly, like she was setting up a picnic instead of loading her weapon. She would’ve hummed ‘Monster Mash’ to really drive the message home, but that would probably disturb the creature and draw unnecessary attention to them. (It did hurt every time the goal was to be less of an attention seeker, but she was a serious slayer now).
It turned out, she should’ve just sung her little song, cause, fueled by the novelty of it all, Colt decided to take a peek at the creature. (Who could blame her really really?) (In a world that left less and less room for curiosity, she appreciated this, a whole lot) (More reasons to love Colt). The consequence, though? A scream was definitely not good for their chances of making this a smooth, uneventful hunt. (But it was fine. It was totally chill) (Like seriously, she never felt more zen and locked in than when there was an actual scared human for her to protect) (Like, yes! She did study for this exam, actually) (She had all the answers and then some).
Lo and behold, the monster turned toward them, well, probably toward Colt, (on account of the noise), but this was a team effort. Jade was loud in spirit, the fact that she didn’t get to vocalize anything didn’t change the fact.
“It’s totally okay, babe. I’ll deal with it. Can you imagine how unsafe those things could be for the average hiker enjoying a stroll?” Normally, Jade wouldn’t add that disclaimer, she wouldn’t fish for approval. (Cause duty was duty) (Regardless of whatever remixed version of it was currently playing). But well, people also didn’t always vibe with this whole killing thing she had to do (So weird, right?) (Please don’t play a sad montage of the friends lost along the way) (This was an uplifting episode). And while some of her more recent Buffy reveals had gone a bit better than usual, she still hesitated. (She didn’t wanna lose her new bestie for acting like a bloodthirsty savage) (She had decent wiggle room here, hunting an actual creature instead of something more humanoid, at least).
Back to the action, though, cause the creature’s beak was definitely angled toward them now, and it did look like it was pondering whether it wanted a BOGO snack or if it would be fine with just Colt. Jade had to make sure that even if it had the intention, it wouldn’t lunge at them. She sent two bolts flying in the air, striking in places that would hinder its movement. One hit a leg, the other sank in its shoulder. (She felt weird about hitting the wings, (which would’ve been ideal to stop it from flying) for reasons she didn’t want to dwell on) (But that weirdly put the scent of sanitization products and gauze under her nose). She sent a third one to the other… mammal looking limb (leg, ankle? It was using it for balance, so limb it was) and decided that was good enough for her.
“Be right back, babe,” she whispered to Colt, flashing a confident smile. She replaced the crossbow in her hand with her trusted knife and came out of hiding. The tackling was always the most fun part. Back when she had to rely on her rudimentary skills, (before she decided to lock in and sign-up for her very first hunting camp… wow, year and a half ago already), tackling got her places. Who cared about right combat technique when tackling worked in your favor? So Jade dashed, while the beast let its anger be known by letting out more horrible honking noises from that beak. It didn’t matter, she wouldn’t have to worry about her eardrums being pierced or poison shooting at her or nothing, cause she was being swift with it (and if she got there first, who was gonna stop her?) (Maybe they should teach that in hunter camp, right?) (Had anyone thought about it already? Just checkin’).
Sure enough, Jade and the beast tumbled to the ground. Things were poking at her ribs, something was tangling tight like ivy along her leg, she felt the pain spreading on her shoulder, from the brunt of the clash, but those were obstacles she’d learned to ignore. All she focused on was putting blade to throat, the quick slicing motion, and severing the head. The flesh did put up a bit of resistance (she wasn’t sure what kinda animal this part came from, it was thicker than expected), but Jade kept going, until decapitation was complete.
She jumped backward, letting the inert body tumble to the ground. Phew! (It really was so nice when things just worked out, wasn’t it?). She let out a loud sigh, which mostly felt like a way to dump some of the adrenaline coursing through her, and placed her hands on her hips, staring at the dead chimera. (Would Daiyu find any of it useful?) (Maybe she could snap a photo and send it to them for review). Right then, Jade noticed her shirt was now soaked with blood and other fluids. Good thing she’d come prepared to find an elder vampire lair, so she didn’t put on anything too nice. (She’d mourned so many nice jackets before). Oh, well. If anyone knew how to wash fluids out of fabric, it was Regan. Jade crossed her fingers that her shirt could be saved.
But speaking of wash, the excitement of the dub washed away pretty fast when she remembered there was a scared human hunkered by the rock. A human that had just seen stuff that should only exist in movies (and animes apparently) and then, had seen the decapitation of said creature. (Potentially. Jade wasn’t sure if she had an audience or not) (She definitely preferred it if Colt had looked away the entire time). She walked back to their hiding spot, realizing she was carrying herself with a limp. (Her leg did sting where… the tail, maybe? Had gripped her). She let out a grunt as she crouched by Colt’s side. Her eyebrows pinched in concern. “All gone, babe. I’m sorry you had to see that. Are you like, traumatized for life? I can explain most of what you saw, I promise”.
—
When Jade announced that she was going to ‘deal with it’, Colt’s anxiety only spiked higher. Sure, Jade seemed… weirdly prepared for this exact scenario, but still! That thing looked incredibly fucking dangerous! She stopped in her frantic attempts (and failures) to run away, not wanting to leave her new friend behind, but feeling decidedly useless in this situation. Her expertise was in fighting fire, not creatures.
“W-wait…!” she called after Jade, who was already darting around the rock. It was a feeble attempt by someone who felt infuriatingly feeble at the moment, her hands coming to rest in the leaf litter as she sat, hunched over and staring at the ground, trying to ignore the sounds coming from the other side of the boulder. Tears were welling in her eyes, angry with herself for being so helpless while still being too fucking terrified to move and do anything about it.
Death wasn’t as loud of an affair as she’d expected, although the gurgling bleats of an animal (it was an animal, right?) meeting some grisly end that Colt couldn’t bring herself to witness was horrific in its own, softer sort of way. She felt sick, her whole body trembling as she pressed her back to the boulder again, staring up at the canopy overhead. Every grunt and groan from the slaughter taking place a stone’s throw away made her flinch, and she didn’t realize how tightly she was clutching her own wrist, squeezing hard enough to bruise.
You should look, she thought. Or, the voice in her head thought, because she definitely did not want to look.
No, the real Colt responded.
You’re never going to survive this place if you keep wearing blinders.
Fuck off.
The forest grew quiet again save for the very human huff of satisfaction, one that Colt had done many times herself after a fire well extinguished. It was the adrenaline evacuating the dancefloor, leaving you tired and a little light-headed, but happy.
If Jade could feel happy after something like that, then more power to her.
On cue, Colt’s new friend reappeared, her shirt a shocking, fun shade of red. Colt’s eyes lingered on it for a moment before darting away again as the woman crouched down beside her. She still gripped her own wrist like it was some kind of lifeline, and when asked if he was traumatized by the event, began shaking her head. “Nope. No, don’t… don’t need an explanation. Unless you’re gonna tell me that there’s some kind of nuclear fallout in the area and fucked up animals wander too far from home sometimes, in which case, yeah that totally makes sense.”
Really? That’s the lie you’re going with?
I said fuck off, Obi-wan. I don’t want or need your sage fucking advice right now.
She let her gaze slide slowly back over to Jade, and was immensely relieved when her first responder training finally kicked her ass into gear. “Goddamn, are you okay? Wait, like seriously, are you okay? Did you get injured? Is that… all not your blood?”
—
Okay, it might have been an uplifting episode, but only for Jade. There really was no time to soak up the dub or to feel proud about how she’d handled the threat in 2026 compared to how she would have in 2023, pre Wicked’s Rest. (There was probably not even enough footage for a quick side by side). When Jade stared at Colt, like actually looked at her, she realized the other woman was battling a demon or two. She wasn’t unfamiliar with this kinda shocked reaction. She was reminded of Luc, shaking and rocking against the counter of a coffee shop, watching his sweet old friend get decapitated cause the magical blackout swept through the town with terrible timing. Something festered in her chest that night. At the realization that he could afford to freak out, to be paralyzed by fear. Cause Jade was stripped of those privileges as soon as she could properly grip a stake and knife. But that resentment felt pretty distant now, looking at Colt’s tears. (Probably cause she hadn’t torn her arm attempting to defeat a zombie while being almost juiceless) (But also, maybe she was a bit biased toward the ladies) (Sue her. Women’s rights, wrongs, yadda, yadda)
Right now, all she felt was actually worried about Colt. Cause girly did look two steps away from a full blown mental breakdown. And she was refusing to hear an explanation that wasn’t a little bit fueled by delusion. Oh. It was like that. Colt didn’t actually want to know more about what she’d seen. She’d rather go the ignorance is bliss route. (Usually a pretty fun route, great music, awesome friends, rarely any drama) (But when it came to this? Of course Jade was conflicted). Her eyebrows pinched in consideration. What could she do about this? Immediately, her mind went to Eve, particularly her secrecy boner. (Which was a good boner to have, obviously) (An ethical boner) (Most hunters had it) (Jade’s was just a little limp right now, so she was super envious).
She didn’t always vibe with... the whole keeping everything hush-hush from people. She understood it (duh), but she didn’t like it. And fine, she used to be a huge supporter of it, there was no need to pull out receipts. But with her frontal cortex developing (at the tender age of 30), came all the questioning. The truth was, these days? She was closer and closer to the lane that believed that maybe, just maybe, having all the information was the best thing they could do for people. That she had no right to gatekeep information that might have been vital to someone’s survival. But then there was Colt, freaking out. Her sanity was on the line cause she was definitely not coping with this discovery. Would a lore drop really do much for her? Not at all, judging by her own words. She didn’t want an explanation. The truth didn’t matter that much here. Secrecy or no secrecy, Jade still wanted to keep people safe, at the end of the day. And that just… seemed to look very different from person to person. (Which… Oooh. Okay) (Maybe that’s why it was a little bad to have a super strict black and white mentality about… belief systems) (She got it now!) (She was just like, five years too late, sorry guys).
When she spoke to Colt again, Jade tapped into her serious register. She reached for the hand currently clutching at the wrist, not fully grabbing it, but tapping it gently. Distracting her from her own head demons. “Yup. Kinda like that. It turns out, there’s actually tons of mutated stuff around these woods, from like… a mining accident way, way back. It’s like our local Chernobyl,” All the more reasons to hate the forest, she wanted to add, but she knew there was a time and place to be a forest hater. And it wasn’t now. “We all get a little welcome scare, it’s super annoying”. And… It happened. At 31, Jade finally hated having to lie to someone. It wasn’t even a small twinge of discomfort, just straight up dislike. (She didn’t want a celebration for this) (Like, she actually really disagreed with this character choice) (Whatever happened to fun?)
When Colt seemed to snap out of her trance, Jade wasn’t sure how long it would last, but she dismissed all questions about her well-being. “Oh, don’t you worry about me, I’ve done this for a while. You know, hunting. Deer, elk,” yup. That kinda hunting. (Mhm). “This was a little unorthodox of me, but I had to act fast,” she offered an apologetic smile, as she stored her crossbow. Then, she stashed her knife. She moved away from Colt’s sight and slipped out of her shirt super fast, tossing it into the empty trash bag she usually carried around (usually, with the purpose of picking up bones to bring Regan home). From her backpack, she pulled out a jacket too, so she wouldn’t flash her new friend. She zipped it all the way up. (And didn’t even make one out-of-pocket comment on the wardrobe change, cause she didn’t wanna freak out Colt even more).
Jade looked wistfully at the trail ahead, splitting into two very opposite directions (okay, symbolism!) (no, for real, give set design a raise). She’d been so close to her goal. This could’ve been the day she found her elder vampire’s evil lair. But in no universe did the idea of leaving Colt behind cross her mind. That was just, totally against the girl code. (Mhm, there was a whole ‘in case of creepy chimeras ruining the vibes’ section). “Okay, so… maybe the Canada trip is cancelled and we’ll reschedule for a better date?” She returned to Colt’s side and sat next to her, back against the rock. She didn’t wanna pressure Colt, but if that chimera had come out of nowhere, what else was waiting out there? Ready to send Colt to an early grave from the shock alone? “We should get out of here, babe. Whenever you’re ready. I’ll buy you a bev, a meal, whatever you need,” she glanced at Colt, whose camel seemed to be carrying an amount of straws momentarily marked safe for backs. “I can also shut up, and sit in silence,” she sighed, two beats passed, then… “I like that one a little less, but you know, on your terms”.
—
Jade reinforced the idea that it was just regular animals mutated by radiation, and Colt greedily accepted it. She settled into this new normal, feeling her anxiety finally start to return to its baseline as she wove new sections of her mind tapestry for the fucked-up-ness that was Wicked’s Rest. Mutant animals, irradiated woods. Got it. Obviously not dangerous to humans anymore, or the park rangers would have been keeping people out come hell or high water, but it’d fucked up generations of critters. Yeah, that definitely made sense, even though she’d literally never heard of any kind of nuclear meltdown on this coast.
Well, there was that impact crater… Shit, that was it, wasn’t it! A radioactive meteorite, since removed! The small twinge of doubt she’d been feeling that had stopped her from wholeheartedly accepting this explanation instantly faded away, and that looming sense of dread fell away like a sheet of melting ice. It all made so much sense, now!
Her bright, bubbly personality was able to make a full recovery once the mental gymnastics were done with, and pleased to hear that Jade wasn’t hurt, Colt let out a huff of relief. “Okay, good! You had me worried for a minute, there!” She chuckled, still refusing to let herself turn around and look at the poor, dead creature — she didn’t need to see that, as much as her curiosity demanded it. Focus on other things. Like Jade offering her company.
“Bevs and a meal sounds so good right now, actually,” she agreed after turning the options over in her mind for a moment. The longer she sat here, the more likely she was to fuck up her peace by peeking over the top of this boulder at the corpse Jade had left behind. “You’re right. Let’s get outta here. Your catacombs will still be there, and we’ll definitely find them next time!” Maybe next time she should bring her own weapon. She had more than one fire ax…
Since he was born. That's how kids work. [...] Look, you can interrogate me all you want, but let's save it for an in-person chat, alright? I got a couple questions of my own. Might be [...] nice. [For several reasons, User is dreading that, but better to rip off the Band-Aid, right?] Not like we've exactly hung out, since we both rolled into town.
[Okay, ouch. User feels a little bad.] I appreciate that, Colt. Really. [...] Weird how? Had a lot on my mind, when you first called me up. Then, ran into some unrelated trouble, got injured, and... Well, you know how first responders get when they can't work. Bet you're the same way.
Har har. You know what I meant. But fine... yeah, let's have a hangout. Like the good old days. But plus one little crotch goblin. [ user wonders if those days are a thing that no longer within her grasp ]
I know, you... shit. You're okay, right? Sorry, I should have checked in sooner, I've been kinda up my own ass with some [... ...] stuff. 'Course I'm the same way, hah.
[PM] Yeah. I think that's what's going on, too. Sorry, I should have explained but I wasn't sure if maybe it clued you in on I didn't want to overwhelm. Okay. So I don't know you, not really. [... ...] I used to live here, in Wicked's Rest, a few years ago, and when I was here, I knew this guy demon sort of demi-god? guy who was [...] magic. Really powerful. I think that guy is the other person. When you aren't yourself? That's it taking control. Does that sound like [...] it could make sense for your experience?
[pm] No, don't be sorry... that would have been one hell of a cold open, haha! [ user is not laughing ] You... knew a magic man. [ user is having flashbacks to the magic bug she helped dig out of the ground, which she was steadily convincing herself had actually been a very vivid dream ] And he's me? That doesn't-- I am all for people identifying how they please, but I've never-- Am I forgetting more time? Was I here before?? What the FUCK-- [... ... ... ... ...] So I have this... secondary... personality, I guess. That's a magic man. This sounds-- Now, when you say magic, do you mean like... pulling a rabbit out of a hat? Picking your card out of a full deck? Who is in my head-- Is the magic man my inner dialogue, somehow? I hear someone, sometimes, like when I'm thinking thoughts. I don't actually hear a voice, but I think in a voice that isn't mine. I think things that don't feel like me. But they are, they have to be-- So... I guess it lines up with my experience, but I really don't understand how this is suddenly happening to me, like I'm pretty sure I used to be normal, Zack!
I thought you were a first responder? Who, if not you, is being dispatched to slime-related emergencies? Is that exclusively Giselle and Kelly's domain?
As a matter of fact, there aren't as many slime-related emergencies as you might think! But, yeah, East Station can absolutely have those calls, I'll pass...
Well gee, thanks! Mm, what's your go-to thing you think about to cheer yourself up? Maybe I can add it to my arsenal! I like to daydream about sipping lemonade on a warm, sandy beach somewhere... especially when I'm all suited up in my turnout gear and sweating my butt off, although it's definitely not sadness I'm feeling in those moments...
