unorganized chaos

[comingatthecottage]

AND ANOTHER THING

re my conspiracy theory that the stupid plane crash was supposed to be a suicide attempt, in addition to the plot and pacing and causality issues,

is that actually a lot of shane's bizarrely self-effacing behavior makes sense if instead of a plane crash that didnt' happen the crisis was a suicide attempt. like when would you reasonably feel like you need to completely shut down your emotions about all your worst nightmares coming true as you're being forcibly outed, having your career destroyed, and being abandoned by all of your friends? and why would shane, who is not a pushover, not expect ilya to show up for him and check in on him? why would he accept ilya mocking him about it?

on the page as written it kinda seems like the answer is "because your partner doesn't care" or "somehow you don't have any emotions about it?" but it would actually make a ton of sense if the answer was that these things happened under circumstances where it had recently gotten so bad with ilya's mental health that he attempted suicide. then it makes sense that shane is downplaying and erasing and minimizing his feelings, and that everyone else is too.

because if them coming out and moving in together is life or death for ilya then what right does shane have to complain. and it explains why ilya is making so many mean bitter jokes at shane's expense because he's still trying to push him away, trying to prove that shane doesn't care about ilya the way ilya cares about him, because anything else would mean that ilya's death would hurt shane the way irina's death hurt ilya and ilya can't bear that and why shane is taking it all uncomplainingly, because whatever he's going through ilya is going through worse

[comingatthecottage]

after all i put him through enough, right? he was so miserable he wanted to die and he says that's not my fault but what if it was? even my mom thinks i might have been being selfish. so now i have to be happy and then he'll be happy and we'll be happy and it'll all be okay. and luckily i am the best in the whole world at pretending to be okay!

[poetrylesbian]

much to consider...

[pseudophan]

Phil mentioning their age gap AGAIN it’s 4 years guys 😭 your in your 30s

people on tiktok: um :/ does anyone else think dan and phil's age gap is kind of problematic...

people on twitter: god can you people shut up about their age gap??? imagine if dan and phil see it, they would be so uncomfortable knowing people are talking about this :(

dan and phil:

[hadesisqueer]

Two World Cup finalists from opposing teams in this fucking picture, this sport isn't real

[hadesisqueer]

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

[joyflameball]

[clytemnestraaa]

hi this drives me crazy

canon is what happens in the text. e.g. merlin tries to poison morgana

a headcanon is a fact that you have personally made up as an elaboration of canon. it is your invention. e.g. i think morgana and gwen had a teenage lesbian situationship before the events of canon. or, i think modern morgana would love evanesence.

an interpretation is how one reads the existing text. it is not an invented fact nor is it a headcanon, it is a reading. e.g. i think merlin tries to poison morgana out of misplaced self-hatred. or, i think that one line was delivered with suppressed malice and shows a nuanced relationship.

fanon is the general fandom’s accepted headcanons and interpretations that elaborate or recontextualize canon. e.g. merlin is a badass waif and morgana is a bitch.

these are all different words with different meanings.

[justdecadentcollectiondestiny]

and a cannon is a large mounted gun, usually on wheels, that uses explosives to fire projectiles.

[iamthemaestro]

found this at an antique shop the other day and was immediately like oh this belongs on tumblr. sniles sneetly. fwowns fwangry.

[vulcanette-deactivated20260506]

[ily-a]

Hollanov + text posts (part 2)

[philcollinsenjoyer]

about 90% of fanfiction takes place in a utopia where men are thoughtful and unsure of their place in the world

[mycatismyfriend]

@skulandcrossbones this might be the greatest tag on a reblog I’ve ever seen.

[crimeboys]

the worst part of getting into new media is when youre at the stage where youre completely obsessed with it but you cant go through the tags or seek out anything about it bc youre not fuckiny done yet

[enba-and-luka]

[chelledoggo]

"We're gonna be talking about the BOOBY! We'll be talking about the WOODCOCK! Do you think that's FUNNY, Butthead? Do you find it AMUSING that we'll be talking about the SWALLOW? Yes, we're also gonna be talking about the DICKCISSEL, the BUSHTIT, the COCK-OF-THE-ROCK, the SHAG... and we will DEFINITELY be spending a LOT of time talking about...GREAT TITS!!"

[neovagina-penisis-evangelion]

I keep thinking about that "my takeaway is that we dont all have the same eyes" video where there was a bit about mistaking a manatee for a mermaid and how surprisingly common Myopia is and realizing how for a lot of human history about 30% of the population couldn't see shit

[manhasetardis]

Heated Rivalry + Textposts 33/?

[snowsmoked]

I do think that Shane gets a Russian language tutor. He sees that Ilya is always having to think, speak, and translate in his second language. And he knows that Ilya is fluent by this point, but if he's serious about forever with Ilya (which he is) he wants Ilya to be able to communicate with his boyfriend in his native language. He also saw how much his grandparents struggled with learning English as adults and how much more expressive and talkative they were when they spoke Japanese at home together.

So he gets a tutor. He meticulously researches her (she's from Moscow, so he'll learn from someone with Ilya's same accent). She's signed to more NDAs than he can count. She has 10 years of experience, she's certified to teach English and Russian, and she has 4.8 stars on MyTutor.

Shane pays her a frankly concerning amount of money to make house calls. Twice weekly, unless he's on the road, she arrives at his apartment to teach him foundational Russian. She gives him workbooks, Russia cartoon recommendation, podcasts for beginners, etc. He tells her he's learning because his boyfriend is Russian and she outlines a course that focuses on domestic language first (as opposed to travel or business). She even teaches him what she calls a 'culture course' with lessons on Russian music, food, and various traditions.

She's only a few years older than Shane and he actually finds himself looking forward to her visits. At this point, she's the only person other than his parents that knows he has a boyfriend.

About 4 months in, Shane finally feels comfortable enough to ask about what he'd been very excited about learning.

"You want me to teach you how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?" Ekaterina raised an eyebrow.

"Um," Shane blushed. Was this a little too far? Was this inappropriate to ask of a tutor? "Yes? If - If that's okay, I mean."

A slow smirk spread over her face. "This will be fun. Fun for me, now. Fun for you, later."

"I made a list," Shane admitted. He wasn't going to back out now, he put a lot of thought into his list. He turned to it in his Russian notebook and handed it to her.

She scanned over it indifferently. "You will use all this in one night?"

"Yeah, probably. Is it too much?"

"It is good you have a Russian man," Ekaterina said. "They have good stamina. Mostly, anyway."

And while it was a little embarrassing for Ekaterina to correct his pronunciation of please let me suck your cock, it helped that she seemed just as comfortable with that as there is tea on the stove.

Though, maybe he shouldn't have learned those phrases at the same time, because Ilya will never, for as long as they live, allow him to forget asking, while down on his knees and with excellent pronunciation, please let me suck your tea.

[i-am-a-fish]

whose dumb ass idiot fuck idea was it to make medicine cost money

[i-am-a-fish]

go to triple hell

[nattousan]

"But surely you've at least wanted to try using AI-"