I'm Cute But You're Cuter

Sarah/20/Chicago She/her/hers

[burgertv]

[just-shower-thoughts]

Coffee baristas can technically put ‘fluent in Java’ on their resume.

[thebootydiaries]

me: idk i just keep to myself i guess i don’t really like sharing personal stuff with people

me after 10pm: it all started when my cat ran away when i was 5,

[100493503004422]

do u guys understand how creepy the pledge of allegiance is though like every day when ur a kid everybody just chants how great america is every morning it’s creepy

[holmes-sweet-holmes-deactivated]

You do that every morning???

[jolivet-deactivated20190306]

EVERY MORNING.

[youblowuponesun]

wait

wait

is this a real thing i thought that was just in the simpsons

[jolivet-deactivated20190306]

no son

[you-are-talking-about-this-deac]

Wait, other countries don’t do this.

[sleepybiflinge]

*whispers* Not even Russia

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I remember when my dad had a conversation with me

because I asked him what the Austrian pledge of allegiance was (because he’s from Austria)

and he said “we don’t have a pledge of allegiance”

and I said “why not?”

“honey, think about what training your children to mindlessly pledge to a flag, without really knowing what they’re talking about, sounds like to Austrians”

“oh. hitler.”

“exactly”

[foxanddanapetrie]

RE FUCKING TWEET

[skarchomp]

hey not to be absolutely fucking morbid on main or anything but if we do reach a point where the rich try to escape extinction by fleeing earth to live on their secret mars colony or whatever my dying moments will be taking solace in the fact that a society comprised solely of the 1% of the richest people on the planet will tear itself apart in under a year

[serazienne]

can’t wait for Fyre Fest 2 on mars

[hollowboobtheory]

not to be overly optimistic on main but without the 1% we might stand a chance 

[totallyfubar]

I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

[gluten-free-pussy]

My dad once got mad at me for buying too many tampons. He was like “every fucking month you keep spending money on them!!! It’s unnecessary” and me and my brother were just like

[rachellephant]

the most important thing to me ever is bi kids knowing that it’s ok to be 10% attracted to women and 90% attracted to men or 10% attracted to men and 90% attracted to women and still feeling ok to identify as bi, and still feeling like their identity is valid, and still feeling like they can lead fulfilling lives with both (or other) genders. like that’s just so fricking important.

[baital]

I’m a bi adult and you know what? I needed this. Thank you.

[alder-greatly-approves]

it’s also important to remember that it can be a fluid % like sometimes it’ll be 50/50 some times 10/90 and then drift into a 45/65 or even 2/98 and it’s still okay. It’s just where you are at that time in your life. 

[poly-wrath]

That shift is called the bicycle

[all-hail-mono-onion]

i needed all of this, including the pun

[sneakyfeets]

reasons gay millennials have court weddings

1) saves money

2) if I stand up there at an altar with my wife as she recites her vows and says very nice things about me and finishes it off with how much she’ll love me forever my monkey brain will activate and I will not be able to stop my mouth from saying “that’s gay”

[avengers-posts]

[australianpikachu]

Borders between countries

1) India and Nepal

2) Kenya and Tanzania

3) Argentina and Brazil

4) Norway and Sweden

5) Lesotho and South Africa

6) France and Italy

7) Poland and Belarus

8) Senegal and The Gambia

9) Spain and Portugal

10) US and Mexico

Inspired by this

[cafelatte-caramelmacchiato]

Tristeza

[midnight-sun-rising]

Wow. I had no idea other countries didn’t surround their borders as we do.

[witwitch-deactivated20160508]

There’s a border somewhere in Holland I forgot which other country but it like runs through the outside seating area of a cafe or something

[harrypotterhousequotes]

HUFFLEPUFF: “We’re all we’ve got left. We ought to be able to stick together against everything. If we don’t have each other, we don’t have anything.” –S.E. Hinton (Sodapop Curtis: The Outsiders)

[everythingfox]

Bow down to your new leader

[thetenderpassion]

[prayforprada-deactivated2019091]

mood

[tarynel]

I totally feel Joanne on this

[stylesrecord]

[imsoofuckingsad]

*nothing happens*

me: this is too much

[somnolentsuggestions]

at some point someone’s gonna kiss you on the forehead which is just fucking stellar so stay alive for that