not with haste

i wish you would...

[calvin-isms]

julictiisms:

juliet barely experience the next few minutes that transpired. they seemed to drag, seep like honey falling from a spoon, ever so slowly. she barely spoke until they arrived at… wherever they were. did it even matter? and she trusted calvin. one hundred percent. she wasn’t quite CONSCIOUS enough to formulate that thought, but it was embedded in her subconscious, letting her remain at rest in his arms, at peace. she simply nodded when he instructed her to hold on to him, sighing against his shoulder with her eyes closed. and then– and then she was suddenly TAKEN from him, and even in her state, her hand clung onto his sweatshirt for a lingering moment, eyes managing to open halfway– “n-no.” a mumble. the faintest shake of the head. she didn’t want him to be gone from her… didn’t want to let go of him. but they were pulling her away, and she wasn’t in his arms anymore, she was lying on something– “d-don’t. calvin.” it was scarcely audible, but her weak protest did nothing. she was moved away, and he disappeared. juliet let herself sink into the bed (?) and be enveloped by the warm embrace of sleep. 

when she DID wake up– she awoke drowsy. groggy. confused. there was an IV in her arm ( a vague memory, perhaps imagined, of that being placed there in the first place ) and a monitor pad placed just over her heart, small and cool. her wrist bore a medical bracelet with her name and information and– calvin.

“cal?” juliet murmured, rubbing her eyes.

calvin sat unmoved in the emergency waiting room for what felt like another lifetime, staring blankly at the door, the walls, his hands. anything to take his mind off of the part of himself that was seizing up with the anxiety of possibly losing his only constant in life. it was a lesson he'd learned from a young age, to never hold out too much hope in case of situations like this, but juliet had long been the exception to his many jaded rules. calvin's fingernails were non-existent by the time a nurse came to guide him back to juliet's room where she lay resting up in a hospital bed. without hesitation, the male tugged the lone chair in the room up to her bedside and sat leaning towards the edge of the bed to rest on. not quite the movie night he'd expected, but as he slid his hand back into hers for holding, he realized just having her near was something to be celebrated. with his cheek pressed against the white sheets of her bed, calvin finally let himself relax into her presence and drifted off into a half-state of consciousness, only being rattled back into reality at the sound of juliet's voice. " fuck, juj. " he blinked, willing the tiredness from his eyes as he rose from his seat to pull her into a tight hug.  " you scared the living shit out of me, i -- " he cut off, swallowing past the lingering lump in his throat. " i'm happy you're okay. " calvin managed, still caught in a half hug against her chest as he spoke.

[calvin-isms]

julictiisms:

it felt like WEIGHTS were pulling her eyelids down, begging her to fall asleep. it was so nice and warm, she thought– essentially her only thought at the moment. juliet could hear calvin like a sort of vaguely distant song on the radio through a car window: muffled, but the tune carried. juliet wasn’t quite sure what he was saying, really: listening took so much effort. it was so hard. it was as if she was trying to tune into that station but continually missing the mark and getting the words mixed in with loud static. “i’m okayy,” juliet sighed, eyes closed softly. it had taken quite a bit of effort to get that out, but it was important ( for some reason, she’d already forgotten ) to do so. she BARELY felt the transition from couch to calvin’s arms to the car, just limp arms clinging to his frame and then going slack once she got into the car, curling up again. god, she was tired. sleep would be so nice– it was if her mind had forced herself to forget the gravity of the situation to keep from coping with it, but her chest still sort of hurt. “where–” juliet’s eyes opened slightly, and a single tear leaked out. “where’re we going?” the brunette’s gaze looked down at calvin’s hand in hers, as if it was a visual anchor that made her foggy mind a little clearer. “’mm-so tired, cal.” a huff as the tightness in her chest made it a little difficult to breathe. she closed her eyes once more after wiping at the dampness with a hand that rather lacked much coordination. “k-kinda hurts. i wanna…” she trailed off, exhaling. “sleep.”

the knot in calvin's throat felt like it was going to break skin the way it grew each time he glanced to the passenger seat to see juliet curled up and completely out of it. " no sleeping, stay up. " turning straight through a stop sign as he spoke, calvin avoided her question without even really thinking about it. where were they going? what even happened? ten minutes ago they'd been eating sushi and everything was fine, and the next -- . a thousand different thoughts whirred around calvin's head but he didn't dare ask juliet in her state exactly why she'd taken a xanax to begin with, or how long she’d been on them. " hey. " calvin snapped back to reality then, pulling his car up as close to the emergency room door as he could. " hey, juliet. focus, okay? please. " he barely had his car all the way in park before he was yanking the keys out to meet the brunette at her side. quickly, calvin pulled her jacket loosely over her shoulders, just enough for him to manage the hood for cover. " hold on to me. " calvin whispered, scooping her up into his arms yet again to hurry her into the lobby of the emergency room.  his heart is sunken all the way to the bottom of his chest, evident by the way his voice sort of trembles when he reaches the check in desk. " my friend, she's -- " overdosing. " she needs help. " calvin pleaded, eyes welling up as a gurney was rolled out to lay her on before taking her back for triaging without him. plopped in a cheap waiting room chair, calvin's head fell into his hands as he was left wondering about what might have happened had he not been invited over in the first place and realizing definitively for the first time just how big of a chunk of himself was dedicated to juliet. 

[sseureki]

[calvin-isms]

it was like stepping into a memory as calvin rounded the corner into the small studio filled with at least a dozen children in ballet attire. this building, while he hadn’t been in it in years, still felt as familiar as the last time he’d seen stella here before she left for school. the class was new,  but her dancing was not. he came armed with two smoothies,  one green one he’d remembered her being particularly fond of years ago and a regular strawberry one for himself. “  hi, miss stella. ” calvin joked, setting their drinks down carefully before sitting off to the side of the class with his back against the mirrored wall to watch them finish up. a smile seeped across his face as the young girls huddled into a group of giggles upon his arrival, something he hid by sipping at his smoothie until his ex had the time to come and greet him finally. " for you, kale mango. " he presented, holding the green drink up for the other from his spot on the floor. " would have spiked it if i'd known your class was so young, aren't you exhausted? " he joked, head knocking back against the glass as he met her gaze. @stellawestbrook

[calvin-isms]

julictiisms:

juliet’s brows furrowed together. it felt as if the muscles were fighting to do so, though– like every ounce of her body just wanted to relax and go slack, as if she was floating. “no, i don’t need to nap,” she half-mumbled, shaking her head. just FOCUS, juliet commanded herself. think. think. what’s happening, figure it out-- “i’mmokay.” she certainly did not sound it. fuck. juliet’s breathing started to come and go quickly as she began to panic, mind TRYING to race to figure out what was happening, and why, but her body just wanting to slow down. relax. stop. “n-no, i didn’t smoke, not smoke…i…” she trailed off, thinking over her afternoon. her eyes closed shut as she tried to think on what had transpired over the afternoon, reviewing her motions through a haze, as if wandering through mist in her memories. pain meds, water, tidied the counter, put away the dishes– the bars. at the realization, juliet’s eyes opened wide, round and fearful, coinciding with the sensation of his touch against her cheek as he brushed back her hair. “i fucked up, calvin,” she breathed, glazed eyes meeting his. “i ffucked up, i–” a shaky hand tries to grip his hand, his wrist in return, to anchor herself. “i mixed. i mixed my pain meds with–” she’s ashamed to spit it out. but it stumbled out, it had to. “with xanax. it’s not– i’m not–”  juliet did not have to finish that sentence to make it clear that was not supposed to happen. shouldn’t happen. that it was, technically, an overdose: the word she could not bring herself to say aloud. “i didn’t mmmean to,” she sighed desperately, reverting her gaze downwards again. she was so tired. so, so exhaustingly drowsy. a tired groan, the only one of her words to carry any weight to it: “fuck.”

if he thought she was sleepy before, he could really see the problem now. her eyes wide with panic, pupils dialated to an unfamiliar size. " juliet, hey. " he shook out, real panic settling into his nerves as her words became more slurred and smushed together. the case of beer and virtually untouched rolls of sushi melt away the more she choked out, and it took calvin all of two seconds to bound into action moving around her apartment. his movements were half frantic and half instinctual as he dug a cold water bottle out of her fridge and bounded into her room for a jacket. not because she’d be cold, but because even in a state of panic calvin knew he can't be seen carrying juliet prince into an emergency room so openly in a town this small. rounding the corner back to the living room, calvin knelt in front of her and pressed the cold water bottle to her cheek. " you're alright, yeah? i've got you. " he promised, watching heavy lids struggle to stay open. " hold this, you gotta stay awake for me. " moving her hand up to limply hold the water bottle, calvin rested the jacket in her lap before scooping her body up off the couch in one movement with one arm tucked under her knees and another around her back. calvin was moving so fast all he could hear was the thumping of his heartbeat in his ears as he tucked a wavering juliet into the passenger seat of his car. " talk to me, ju. " calvin pleaded, backing out of his spot to turn onto the quickest route towards the hospital. he drove with one hand planted on the steering wheel and the other tucked into juliet's free one to try and calm her down, letting his thumb rake soothingly across the back of her hand as he spoke. " s'gonna be okay, i'm here. "

[calvin-isms]

julictiisms:

“probably because i wasn’t there,” juliet replied, although she’d slightly MISSED a beat. perhaps that was just in her mind though– a side effect of the concussion, perhaps? she took another sip of the beer and smacked her lips together absentmindedly, the flavor new and foreign on her lips. juliet moved to take the chopsticks herself, struggling for a second with splitting them before realizing that calvin had been talking to her. “huh?” she repeated, turning to look at him. the girl mentally replayed what she’d half-heard. “oh, sorry– uh– not much. wrote a bit,” she shrugged as she tried to play back the day in her mind. “no.” the brunette shook her head. “no i… i haven’t napped today.” she finally managed to handle the chopsticks correctly and picked up a piece, shaking her head again as if that might clear the cloudiness. “um– what’re we gonna be watching?” juliet asked, tilting her head in his direction, eyelids heavy. she popped the piece in her mouth and chewed slowly, a smile seeping across her face as she did so and eyes closing, savoring. “mmm.” juliet sunk back into the couch with a sigh, a pause of silence before: “maybe that’s why i’m a little…”

once calvin took note of her demeanor, it was hard not to notice. the way shakey fingers struggled to wedge the chopsticks apart, the couple times it takes her to really get a good grip on a piece of sushi. if cal hadn’t been so accustomed to her normal movements he might not have noticed so much but this was his juliet and she was acting very un-juliet-like. “ d’you want to nap or something? “ he asked honestly, setting the chopsticks and his bottle down before turning on the couch to face her more front on. “ we don’t have to watch anything if you’re tired, j. “ cautious eyes rake across the brunette’s face as her eyes closed, a hand reaching out to take her wrist in his own. juliet was arguably the person calvin spent the most of his time with, and he’d never seen her like this before. her incomplete sentence punctuates his thoughts and he shook her arm lightly in response. “ hey. you’re scaring me. “ he admitted, hand moving to push her loose waves behind her ear. “ what’s wrong? y’smoke without me? “ he questioned, worry settling in the pit of his stomach as he tried to get her talking.

[calvin-isms]

julictiisms:

juliet’s eyes widened, sparkling at the offering of sushi ( one of her favorites– and she knew he knew her favorites ) and blueberry wheat beer. “it’s hipster, that’s what it is. and yummy. thanks,” she beamed. she began getting out some napkins and coasters to supplement the servings calvin was working with, opening a couple of beers.  she answered, nodding as she spoke. “you’re right. i couldn’t. it’s etched into my mind forever, like– the ceiling of the sistine chapel,” juliet joked lightly, then winced internally. she met his eyes following his remarks and felt her cheeks warm for a moment, although the flush wasn’t visible. her heart skipped a beat before realizing he had meant it in terms of her wellbeing. right. of course. “oh, right. yeah. thanks,” she repeated, biting at her bottom lip. “well. it all looks good.” juliet took a seat; as she did so, she felt warmth envelop her, like a draw into the sofa. the edges of everything seemed less… sharp, and more smooth, running into each other. she patted beside her, sipping at the beer she’d cracked. “sit down, ‘m hungry.” 

recovering from his fumble proved easy with food involved, as calvin took to popping two of the beers open for them without a second thought. “ cheers. “ he hummed, tapping the neck of his bottle against hers with a clink before taking a generous swig of his own. “ felt like my shift was never gonna end. “ he whined, looking to juliet with an expression of exhaustion. he takes note of the glazed look her hues have taken on, wondering if he’d barged in mid nap almost. “ did you do anything today? “ calvin asked, tearing his gaze away to unwrap a set of chopsticks and dig in to the box ahead of them. with a piece balanced carefully in the utensils, he leaned his head back to catch the bite in his mouth and smiled thankfully for the sustenance before letting his eyes wander back to his nearly unmoved companion. “ juj. “ calvin reminded, his cheek full of sushi as his brows furrowed momentarily. “ did i just wake you up? “ 

[calvin-isms]

julictiisms:

it was the same routine every day. pain medication at 5pm, just before dinner. that way juliet wouldn’t forget like she tended to these days– thanks to the post-concussion syndrome. but today was going a little faster, because cal was supposed to come over soon, and she was tidying up and trying to make some sort of food for them to eat, even if it was late. and for some reason, her head was… foggy. filled with anxious thoughts and memories of the things that HURT. so she decided to take the edge off the only way she knew how–

fingers shook out a couple of the small green bars into her hand, forgetting that she had already swallowed pills for the aches and pains that plagued her bones. do not interact with other prescription medications, the label warned. unread. unheeded. 

juliet changed out of her oversized nightgown and into something slightly more guest appropriate, slipping on a pair of loose fabric shorts and an off-the-shoulder tee before sinking into the couch, ready to watch a movie with cal upon his arrival. she was already feeling the pain relief, moving with more ease and less frustration even when she rose to open the door to welcome him in. she tilted her head and offered a smile as she motioned him inside, closing the door behind him. “hey, you.” she poked him lightly. “long time no see, stranger.” a little overdramatic, considering she’d seen him three days ago, but that truthfully felt like an eternity. “i almost forgot what you looked like.” she betrayed herself with a small laugh and shook her head. “kidding. how was work?” @calvin-isms

the steps up to juliet's place were entirely too familiar to calvin. nights like this, where the two of them plopped in front of the tv with a meal and poison of their choosing were so common between the two that he hardly even had to ask juliet what she wanted anymore, instead just arriving with a meal he'd picked up on the way over. a long day at work had calvin's back stiff and his legs tired, but the sight of the brunette opening the door for him was enough to loosen him up for the first time all day. " hey, juj. i picked up some sushi. " the male offered, holding the bag he'd carried up to serve as proof. " and some blueberry wheat beer, whatever that is. " with a chuckle, he stepped into juliet's living room and set the bag on the table before turning back to wrap her up in a gentle hug, " forget a face like this? you couldn't. how are you feeling? " he hummed, his grip still light even as he released her from his grip to fall into his usual spot on her couch. " y'look good. " calvin said, not realizing it was out loud until their gazes met momentarily. " i mean, like. you know. not so banged up.  " he amended, face burning hot as he leaned forward to busy unpacking their meal.

[roleplaymemesforyou]

Send❓+ a name, and my muse will explain how they feel about them.

[agarfield-deactivated20160309]

[calvin-isms]

imessage | calvin.

juliet: a tremble a day keeps the juliet away !!

juliet: wow i'd love to see the legal definition of mostly sober... ok but fair so then your darts results are SLIGHTLY legitimate but in an empty bar it's easier to focus

juliet: i'm never bitter

calvin: what about a shiver

calvin: you've seen mostly sober every time you've hung out with me.

calvin: LISTEN, rain or shine, crowd or crickets - i'll beat u at darts eventually. your smug days are coming to an end

[calvin-isms]

imessage | calvin.

juliet: i don't like the word tremble but i mean you kind of commute you have a workplace although it's super close

juliet: are you completely sober while you play sober darts because that doesn't count

calvin: tremble. t r e m b l e. Tremble. TREMBLE!!!!!

calvin: am i ever completely sober at work? i think the employee handbook says i only have to be *mostly* sober

calvin: don't be bitter because MY day in the spotlight is coming

[calvin-isms]

hi friends !!! i had a busier weekend than i thought n am feeling a lil disconnected from my sweet calvin... i made a list of some wc’s i’d like for him and scratched out anything i thought was already kinda filled!! today i wanna focus on getting more plots / closed threads going for him so please LIKE this if i can harass u for love... thank u for ur time kiss kiss

PLATONIC

best friends, ride or die

old friends

unlikely friends

secret friendship 

bad influence (on)

good influence (on)

drinking/partying buddies

enemies turned friends

friends with lingering feelings

flirtatious friends

partners-in-crime

confidant/cornerstone - too close for comfort

protective friendship

ROMANTIC

childhood crush/romance

slow burn

mutual crush

will they, won’t they

on again, off again

friends with benefits

exes that ended on good terms

exes that ended on bad terms

exes that still hook up

first kiss

first loves

one night stand

fling

drunk booty call

unrequited love

cheating

rebound

ANTAGONISTIC

rivals

arch-enemies

frenemies

friends turned enemies

hateship

friends that ended on bad terms

fake friends

enjoys annoying

annoyed by

VARIOUS

share a big secret together

drug dealer/customer

tutor/tutee

co-worker (he bartends) 

??? other things i love to brainstorm :(

[calvin-isms]

imessage | calvin.

juliet: i had to drive in to san francisco to meet with a client this morning... how do people do the whole commuting to work thing?

juliet: and now i have to drink this coconut water by myself instead of visiting the bar like?? it's only the afternoon but i'm ready to call it a day. wbu

calvin: i think ur asking the exact wrong person. just the word commuting makes me tremble...

calvin: this game of solo darts you're missing is enthralling, really. by the time you get back i'll be able to kick your ass once and for all, so prepare for that on your journey back.

[calvin-isms]

i wish today wasn’t so AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!! i will be around more tomorrow promise :(

[calvin-isms]

julictiisms:

while he ducked down, juliet checked her reflection in a napkin container sitting on the bar a little ways down; tucked a loose curl back, ran a finger over her chapstick, and wiped away the light fallout of her mascara beneath her eyes. at his remark, she bounced up slightly. “it is an emergency park picnic. i wouldn’t be lying.” she said, looking at him with wide eyes and a tilt of the head. she was joking, partially, but it was partially true. the rest of her days felt like she was walking through fog, thick and unmoving. but spending time with calvin brought back juliet and cleared the fog for as long as they were together– sunshine breaking through the clouds. and with how thick and heavy the fog had felt lately, she desperately needed the fresh air calvin provided. emergency was only a little bit of a dramatic overstatement. juliet shook her head and blinked hard to clear such thoughts from her mind. pining never did anyone good, she told herself. especially when it was as pointless as this particular stint of pining was. she slid off the bar stool, bringing her bag along with her, and exited the bar with him, smiling once they stepped outdoors and towards his car. “freedom,” she remarked, exhaling. “well, more for you than me. you’re the one stuck in there without hope and all that.” again, joking. and again, overdramatic. but her lips still held traces of a smile that let him know she was still teasing. juliet took a seat in his car and settled in, waiting for him to get into the driver’s side before she opened up her bag and took out a tin that contained a pair of joints beside a couple of special gummy candies. she displayed them to him. “your pick,” she said. “i’ll be happy either way.”

calvin’s smile was easy as he stretched his arms out and tilted his chin up towards the setting sun, all dramatics as he took a big breath in. “ finally away from all that hopeless air. “ he grinned, unlocking his car so they could both climb in. it took a second for the both of them to be situated; calvin setting the fries safely in juliet’s lap before turning his engine on and cracking the windows to let the hot air out. “ what are these? “ calvin asked, plucking up one of the candies to inspect before dropping it back in the tin. “ whichever will make my back not hurt so fuckin’ bad from standing all day, i’ll do. “ he smiled, settling on what he knew as he picked a joint out for the both of them to split. “ candies for dessert. “ he murmured, slotting the rolled spliff between his lips before bringing a lighter to the end to spark up. calvin knew he was in over his head the way his senses relaxed the second he really tasted juliet’s joint, as rolls of hers always tended to be sweeter than his somehow. “ here, “ calvin said softly, offering the cherried jay to her before backing out of his spot with ease. with the park only right around the corner, calvin didn’t need to bother with the radio, but nervous hands needed their distraction and so he fumbled with the dial for a moment anyways. “ thank you for coming, juj. swear that last hour would have dragged by. “ he said genuinely, glancing over every now and then to watch juliet take her hits as well. just as calvin began to think the only real downside to hanging out with the brunette so often was that he wasn’t allowed to be openly mesmerized by her, she’s offering the burning joint back and all he can do is accept it carefully and swallow those thoughts back down.

[calvin-isms]

✉️ ø

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

[ unsent ] calvin: do you ever miss me ?? i feel like i miss you all the time[ unsent ] calvin: it’s crazy how much i think about you, j -[ sent ] calvin: do you think you have time to come by today? i’m perfecting my lemon drop... :)

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

[ 1:19 a.m. ] calvin: are you awake? m’having a bad night. [ 1:19 a.m. ] calvin: don’t really want to talk about it but usually just sitting with you makes it better.