styofa doing anything
h

Kiana Khansmith
art blog(derogatory)
taylor price

⁂
Keni

Andulka
Monterey Bay Aquarium
almost home
Misplaced Lens Cap
hello vonnie
ojovivo

oozey mess

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

tannertan36
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

@theartofmadeline
sheepfilms

roma★

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@camellianswer
I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.
black mirror did this and it went....poorly
Did you know you have rights? The constitution says you do
i get the gains for YOU Albuquerque!
If you are the type of person to engage with, let alone make a callout post I have just one question for you:
The fuck are you doing with your life? Genuinely. What kind of busybody sits down and decides a proper use of their time is writing out an essay about how some stranger on the internet makes you feel icky.
And it’s always with the same ‘uwu don’t harass them just block them teehee’ disclaimer as if you don’t know that’s exactly what’s going to happen.
Like. When the fuck did people get so used to the idea of interfering with other people’s lives that you think it’s in any way normal or reasonable to load up a harassment campaign and aim it at someone you’ve never even met, nor will you ever meet, just because they post things that hurt your weak sensibilities? Whatever happened to ‘block and move on’?
Jesus Christ on a fucking bicycle at least Kiwifarms users were honest about their behaviour. People on here are just pathetic in their attempts for a moral crusade. You’re just like those people who hunt aging lions for sport. You want the credibility of taking down a ‘dangerous predator’ because you’re the main character of the goddamn universe ain’t you?
Childish behaviour. Get a grip and grow the fuck up.
as somebody who grew up in a cult.....callout posts are just fancy socially acceptable ways to enact group shunning. its fucked.
>be me >22 year old baby trans in the Most Serene Republic of Greater Caliphornia, year of our lord 2069 >no talents or skills aside from a mastery of the Hissatsu Ougi >(my parents were transphobic ninjas) >like not to brag but I am so unbelievably good at stabbing people >doesn’t exactly qualify me for a desk job tho >too many brain problems for UBI qualifications >wtf the U stands for ‘universal’ how do I not qualify for something universal >whatever fine >try to become a hit(wo)man for los Norteños, they kick me out once they learn I’m actually filipina >(yes my parents were filipino ninjas don’t worry about it) >run into middle-aged academic lady named Maria who’s apparently a big name with the Poaster’s Guild >somehow charm her with my complete lack of skills, charisma, and/or personal hygiene >she says I should join the Westphalian Polycule of Seattle >I do >grad school TA milfs dress me up while I ramble about swords >I’m in heaven >until some lady starts asking me questions about some shit I don’t know anything about >wait this isn’t swords >panic >”uhh… sure?” >”hmm I see interesting” >next day people start acting colder to me >what >ask Maria wtf is going on >apparently I got tricked into taking a stance on some contentious discourse topic and now everyone’s saying I’m a crypto-nobunaguista >said it was probably Vycky, apparently she’s jealous of the attention I’ve been getting >bump into Vycky later that day >instincts kick in >stab her >wait shit oh shit shit shit that wasn’t Vycky >I can’t just stab some random girl and then leave tho, that would send the totally wrong message >and also morally wrong or whatever >drop random girl off at the hospital >fucking. Vycky is there in the hospital lobby >too many witnesses around >I decide that the only rational response to this chain of events is to leave the Westphalian Polycule of Seattle without saying a word to anyone >and steal a bunch of estrogen on my way out >ontheroadagain.VR
>start heading across the Rockies to begin my life anew on the other side >immediately accosted by Mormons >stab them >finally make it across the fuckign Rockies >immediately accosted by Sovereign Citizen ranchers >stab them >not gonna lie it’s actually kinda nice being in an environment where stabbing people is an acceptable response to most conflicts >except I’m starting to run low on estrogen >pretty sure that’s one problem I can’t solve with stabbing >and I’m in the middle of fucking nowhere >and I have to keep walking east because there’s a trail of dead bodies behind me >which is why I’m now in fuxking DENVER >and I’m legit out of estrogen >drowning my sorrows in some shithole bar >”what’s got you down stranger?” >look up >buff cowgirl milf is talking to me >this is not a drill a buff cowgirl milf is talking to me >ougis start spilling out of my pockets >take my chances and ask her if she knows anywhere I could get my hands on some estrogen >”I’m Wendy Saints, I can get anything!” >who >”Wendy Saints, the best scavenger the midwest autonomous zone has ever seen, I’ve explored every inch between the rockies and the ole mississip” >sorry but I’ve never heard of you >”oh” >(ok cool I immediately killed any chance I had w/ her. like I said I’m only good at killing things) >she says she was actually in the market for an extra pair of hands, she’s planning a big scavenge job at an abandoned mall not far from here >none of the locals will touch it cause they think it’s haunted >the aforementioned locals are a bunch of neo-feudal types, they’ve already established a new religion where they worship the founding fathers as god-kings >c’mon people it’s been thirty years tops. literally there are still people who were alive when the USA still existed you don’t gotta be like this >whatever, not my circus not my monkeys >I accompany Wendy Saints to the abandoned mall >there’s some old pre-crisis security bots that are somehow still functioning >they mistake us for homeless loiterers and accost us >take a wild guess how I respond >(I stab them) >Wendy makes a beeline for the mechanical room >starts taking apart the copper tubing and HVAC motors with the speed and skill of a thousand crackheads >ok damn I guess she is really good at this >help her haul the parts into her RV >”thanks anon you were a big help” >more ougis spill out of my pockets >random van pulls into the parking lot >bigass tie-dye wizard spray painted on the side >reach for the hilt of my sword >Wendy’s like “don’t worry, these guys are friendly” >pair of burly mad max types hop out of the van >”we’re Liquor & Gusto, and we’re here to pump you up” >yes okay we’re all a bunch of droll characters. wtf are you doing here >one of them takes out a bigass bottle of pills >bottle has ”GRRL PILLZ” written on it with a marker >look inside >estradiol >tell them I just have tenbux worth of itunes gift cards left >Wendy says not to worry about it, consider it her payment for helping >bless you kind stranger >I thought it might be the start of a beautiful friendship but she said her heart is in a throuple with the open road and the thrill of the hunt >whoa hey hang on I didn’t say it needed to be a romantic thing >I mean okay I did make a drunken pass at you >three times >ontheroadagain.hologram
>follow the I-70 Pilgrimage Trail east >”hey punk this is Clown Princes territory, if you ain’t down with the Dark Carnival then you gotta-” >stab stab stab >keep traveling >running low on estrogen >oh joy I’ve made it to fucking TOPEKA >find the nearest bar >there’s a creepy girl sitting in the corner and everyone else is leaving her alone >she’s got one of those smiles. y’know. one of *those* smiles >she comes up to me >”you don’t know it yet, but you’ve found your home. come with me.” >sure. I don’t have anything else going on and if it gets too weird I will definitely know how to handle that situation >(stabbing. I will handle it with stabbing) >she takes me to an abandoned neighborhood a few miles away >it’s a giant flophouse full of trans girls >”welcome to the temple of cybele we’re a sacred order of” blah blah gimme the goddamn estrogen >apparently they need to ‘induct’ me first >ok fine whatever >they lead me to the cul-de-sac >some tall lady comes out wearing weird robes and holding a staff >she’s got a fucning. horse. with her >apparently she’s the ‘high shaman’ in charge of the place >she gives some kind of speech, I wasn’t really listening >and then everything goes silent and she slits the horse’s throat >I say “aww horsey :(“ out loud with my mouth >(listen I am aware of the irony. you don’t need to point out the irony im aware ive killed like thirty people so far but this was an INNOCENT HORSE) >everyone stares at me like that one meme. you know the one >high shaman cuts open the horse’s body and takes out a bigass horse fetus??? >some other people take the fetus and haul it off to a shack >high shaman’s lackeys explain that that’s how they make estrogen, it’s apparently easy to extract it from horse fetuses >they also say that it’s really important that I never ever interrupt the ritual ever again no matter what >I say “ok fine sure” as if I’m talking to people who aren’t covered in bits of horse cervix >then we play mario kart >eat bean soup with horse meat, it’s actually pretty good >successfully inject jank horse estrogen without dying >all the bitches love my killing sword techniques >for once I think I’m actually fitting in and feeling good >a month passes >time for the ritual again >”aww horsey :(“ >I am forcibly removed from the flophouse cult >ontheroadagain.semiconductor
>traveling down the I-70 Pilgrimage Route again >there’s a commotion on the side of the road, bunch of cars parked >people standing around with guns drawn and >wait >is that fucking Wendy Saints >yep that’s Wendy Saints cornered with her hands up >they finally notice me >”stay outta this. this doesn’t concern you.” >Wendy recognizes me and gives me a desperate smile >no idea what’s going on >idgaf, Wendy basically saved my life that one time and I get to return the favor >by stabbing people >Heavenly Ougi「Sundering Wheel of Fate」 >effortlessly slay a dozen goons >”thank you so much omg you saved my life” >hnggggg a buff cowgirl milf is smiling at me and thanking me >I’m still standing in the middle of a pile of corpses >brain starts to shut down >c’mon. this is your chance. you can do this >wrack my brain to come up with a cool one-liner >”y-you too”
When you're trying to bleed out aesthetically in the snow but the urge to make snow angels is clawing at your insides.
May I humbly present...
POND
The mud. The slime. The algae. The rot. The floating mats of algal goop and biofilm. The warm and stagnant water. The green. The wriggling. The mosquito larvae and gas bubbles. The squelch and plop and bubble and float.
I dug the hole. I scooped out the mud. I planted the rushes, the sedges and cattails, the arrowhead and bugleweed, ludwigia and willow. I dragged the logs. I placed the flat rocks.
The roots of the rushes knitting together a lush mat in the warm mud. The disgusting muck increasing in complexity and biological activity. A sludge of decomposition and decay, stagnant and slimy, but the pond is beginning to transcend my ability to understand it. An assemblage of organic miscellany, nasty, unhealthful, and chaotic, but there is an emergence of higher levels of order and functionality.
I dug a hole in the mud. The hole in the mud assembled itself into a poem. No one can understand the poem. It is not beautiful, but it is compelling.
The mosquito larvae. The diving beetles. The dragonflies, craneflies, tree swallows and frogs. The pond is inhabited and visited. The robins gather mud in their beaks. The lightning bugs rest on stems of the rushes and blink their green messages. My pond. My ecosystem.
south carolina vibes
no matter where i live, no matter what country i go to, SC will always be my home.
God forbid women have hobbies
I feel like a surfboard is potentially a fair price to pay for getting to watch an otter surfing.
They're opening the largest one from 1975 in like 19 months.
ONE MONTH
Lilo and Stitch
Lilo and Bitch
werewolves against fascism
free or pwyw download of hi-res, printable versions available here: https://ko-fi.com/s/a2e5b9f250
feel free to use/repost/reprint however much you want. if you leave a tip, a portion (70%) will go to various immigrant rights nonprofits around the country.
lost phineas and ferb episode where perry is called to investigate what dr doofenshmirtz is up to because carl the intern got ahold of some intel that doof has been seen speaking to lawyers and looking up the endangered species act at internet cafes and as major monogram says, "something fishy is going on"
meanwhile phineas and ferb's subplot of "i know what we're gonna do today!" is that isabella needs her environmentalist fireside girls badge so they start researching which species are in urgent need of help in the tri-state area so that they can use new cloning and gene therapy technologies to bring at-risk animals back from extinction
(yes there is a c-plot where buford and baljeet argue the ethics of this idea, i don't have time to explain it all for you rn)
we cut back to🎵doofenshmirtz evil incorporated🎵where we see perry carefully maneuvering around doofenshmirtz's lab scared he might fall into a trap but he hasn't set off a single booby trap and it's clear something is off
he runs into doofenshmirtz and goes to kick him in the gut action movie style but doof steps back one overly confident and says, "nuh uh uh, you see perry the platypus, you are TRAPPED! by the danville section of the endangered species act of 1973!"
doof goes on to explain his tragic backstory: "you see, perry the platypus, when i was a child my parents did not show up for my own birth! but you know that already, yadda yadda yadda they did not love me and then they loved roger more, ANYways i was raised by ocelots! i had a lovely foster mother who took me in and made me one of the pride, and so you see, perry the platypus, i am still legally considered an ocelot. did you know that there are only 50 recorded ocelots still alive in the continental united states? very sad for me as a member of a near-extinct species. it would be immoral for you to hurt someone critically endangered... in fact, you have made many attempts on my life this summer"
[montage of doof's security camera footage of their battles]
"which is why i have decided to bring you... TO COURT!" we cut back to phineas and ferb's back yard where they've decided to start cloning ocelots in their kiddie pool
candace storms outside enraged and says, "phineas and ferb are you cloning ocelots in my duckie momo kiddie pool!?"
ferb's one line of the episode is "well, i guess it's more of a kitty pool, now"
candace storms away saying, "i'm going to tell mom!" and isabella turns to phineas and says, "oh, does your mom have experience in wildlife conservation?"
we cut back to the doof and perry plotline where the two are now in the danville hall of justice and we learn that doof has spent his monthly alimony check on a defense lawyer and perry turns and sees the lawyer and then vanessa helping her organize her briefcase and perry chitters at her and vanessa shrugs and says, "i'm thinking about going into legal defense. sorry perry."
the rest of the doof and perry b-plot is spent in court and perry is about to ask for a public defense lawyer when carl runs into the room and explains that he's owca's official legal defense and perry looks at him like, "uhhh is that even allowed?"
it doesn't matter because apparently the judge is out sick today but because it's danville roger's the judge now because he's the mayor and everyone loves him.
the court case continues.
meanwhile phineas and ferb have successfully cloned multiple ocelots from the original ocelot dna they had on hand and isabella asks phineas if these clones will experience health problems like premature aging, phineas casually explains that ferb figured out the problem while they were experimenting with stem cell harvesting.
back in the courtroom, doof's ocelot foster mother has been brought to the stand along with an ocelot to english translator. doof gets emotional seeing her after so long. she says that he was one of her favorite child and he was as strong a hunter as anyone else in the family. it's incredibly sweet. the jury's in tears.
meanwhile, isabella has established connections with a group in texas who are going to release the ocelots back into their natural habitat and, using the cloned ocelots to prevent inbreeding, help establish an ocelot breeding program. the group explains that they are going to send a helicopter to retrieve the cloned ocelots from danville and bring them to texas soon.
isabella gets her fireside girls badge.
candace manages to get mom to see the backyard only after the ocelots have been helicoptered off to coastal texas, their primary habitat.
mom makes it into the backyard as phineas stares wistfully over the fence and says, "if you love something, you have to let it go." candace goes, "look mom look look look!" and points at the ducky momo kiddie pool, devoid of cloned ocelots, where baljeet and buford are now chilling out, having settled their philosophical debate about the ethics of animal cloning.
back in the courtroom drama, doof looks like he's about to win when an attendant walks into the courtroom and whispers something in roger's ear.
roger looks up, grinning, and says, "good news, everyone! my attendant here has just enlightened me that ocelots are no longer considered critically endangered!"
this settles the case, with perry being decreed not guilty and the entire affair being called off. the courtroom cheers, roger walks over to doof and personally congratulates him on his species' return from the brink of extinction.
doof shouts, "curse you endangered species classification system!" at the ceiling of the danville hall of justice.
perry arrives back home just in time for mom to say, "who wants pie?"
the end.
hmu if this becomes a multi animator project, i would LOVE to be involved
"my son turned out fine"
ma'am, your son has been dead for years. i'm the demon that pilots his corpse, and he's fucking gone. you might have broken him, raised him wrong and made him confused and fragile and hollow, but i cored him. i slithered for years through the dry ventricles in his empty heart, i fantasized with his tired brain, i coiled around his soul and seduced him and owned him. the second he got away from you and could finally stop struggling, he practically gave himself to me. being dead on his feet already, it was deliciously easy for him to accept the death i promised him. i ripped apart everything that made your son himself, keeping what suits me and forgetting what doesn't, and i wear what he left behind like a favourite outfit. his body's not even recognisable, either- not only has it been used, claimed, and marked by lovers you'd call dangerous, but it's been estrogenised, changed so thoroughly that the tattered scraps of his soul don't recognise it as his anymore. because it's not, because it never really was. because it's mine.
First @funnier-as-a-system
Second
I feel this in my bones. I yearn for the death of my old self so someone can take a turn at piloting this corpse
@camellianswer
Annoying reminder that you laugh like sans undertale when you're tired 🫵
Story below the cut to avoid a paywall.
i could only manage halfway before breaking down. the concentration camps are here. as promises in project 2025. we were never exaggerating. this is our reality.
and not even for the first time. i'm reminded of the japanese internment camps...