& Love Like Crazy

27|NC|♒️👑🐶🌈🍷 “Memory is a tenuous thing, like a rainbow's end or a camera with a failing lens.” -Ellen Hopkins

[camerawithafailinglense]

Standing at the edge of the cliff. Looking down to see the jagged rocks and white tops crashing around. Holding my arms out like I’m flying, shifting my weight forward onto the tips of my toes. I could do it. I could take a leap and let the ocean claim my body. Let the rest of the world drift away. I always thought there was something kind of romantic about a ship wreck. How the stern and the bow end up preserved under a watery grave. If I was pulled beneath the water would I remain the same? Would this hurt and exhaustion be put to rest? Would I no longer battle with this brokenness inside of me?

[r-9shades]

[lastexitt]

z

[ihat3ev3rything]

No one notices your sadness until it turns into anger. Then you're a bad person.

[gaynargle-kl]

[2103lovexx]

How I'm arguing in 2021: You're right, goodbye.

[jojordan-art-deactivated2025120]

[camerawithafailinglense]

Sometimes words are better left unspoken. Would my insecurities be better if they were left churning in my mind? Drunken words spew from your mouth but all I can think about is how you avoid them when you’re sober. Go to bed pretending everything is okay but deep down I can’t help but wish I hadn’t let what was on my mind be translated to words. How am I supposed to assume everything is okay when you make connections with people that are secretive and toxic. Pulling at every facet and emotional strain even stronger than before. I find myself fighting to reach the surface with all these doubts and manipulations pulling me down. How do I begin to heal from something that you don’t even see as scarring. How do I move past something that you have never seen as a struggle. How do in tread water with all these doubts and insecurities pulling me down.

I scream for help but you just push me back down under the water. I’m gasping for breath somewhere between it doesn’t matter and let’s talk about this later. You fall softly asleep as I sit here biting back the tears.

Sweet dreams, I know we won’t talk about this in the morning. And if we did, I would deny the pain ever existed.

Hold your head up, one day she’ll choose you. Maybe not today, but someday.

-Maybe tomorrow’s the day

[yearningheart]

Trista Mateer, Honeybee

[quotes--and--lyrics]

Aphrodite Made Me Do It by Trista Mateer

[poetrixx]

trista mateer, from “girl, isolated”

[fridayiminlovemp3]

maybe you should talk to someone - lori gottlieb / white ferrari - frank ocean / the poem of the soul - louis janmot / @inkskinned / x / honeybee - trista mateer / the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us - sufjan stevens

[camerawithafailinglense]

Have you ever felt unwanted in your own home?

[camerawithafailinglense]

I’ve never prayed for silence as much as I have tonight. Angry words, twisted meanings, quick to punish anyone but yourself. Try to coax but fail. Try to reason but fail. You twist my words into make shift stories in your head.

Too exhausted to fight. Too shaken to deal.

[aidashakur]

[camerawithafailinglense]

If you want him. That’s fine. I’m already done ✌🏻

[almost--everythingg]

[tackled]