I came I saw I scrolled

[voldemo]

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

[voldemo]

its like ive never seen herbivore

[steadfast-deactivated20191017]

When people find out that my dog is afraid of men: Oh, the poor thing must have been traumatized when she was younger! Poor baby, I just want to hold and comfort her and let her know she’s safe.

When people find out that I, an adult human woman, am afraid of men: Um, not *all* men, sweetie. You can’t go your whole life being afraid. Get over it.

When my dog was allowed to get a hysterectomy: She doesn’t need to have puppies to have a happy, healthy like with her adoptive family.

When I, an adult human woman, want to get a hysterectomy: But having children will make you happy! You might change your mind!

[thytressesburn]

People misgendering a dog: Oh my god I’m sorry it wasn’t intentional! I didn’t know :/

People misgendering a trans person: Uuuuh idc get over it

[depsidase]

[rongzhi]

English added by me :)

[rotting-coyote]

These things happen in my dreams constantly

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[andhumanslovedstories]

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

[andhumanslovedstories]

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

[thomrainierskies]

I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”

every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid

[zenosanalytic]

#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)

[morethanonebraincell]

Every person on earth needs to read this post. It will make people’s lives a lot better and lessen the crises everyone faces in day-to-day lives.

[ziggy-scardust]

I reblog this every time I see it because I am not immune to the recency bias

[william-snekspeare]

This is so real

[pixellangel]

HOLD ON I HAVE A GIF FOR THIS

[pixellangel]

yes ive been waiting for my moment

[orteil42]

I must not explain the joke. Explaining the joke is the joke-killer. I will face my followers who did not get the joke. I will permit them to pass over me and through me

[orteil42]

you are making this so difficult

[bedupolker]

I loooooove getting rejected. People should reject more. It's the "maybes" and ghosting that's just like too much. A firm but polite "no" is infinitely more respectful of everyone's time and feelings. Can we just do that?

[bedupolker]

You guys know this is a pretty normal human want and not a special accomdation to be saved for people with autism right?

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[friendlyfrankenstein]

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

[retroactivebakeries]

[kiradical]

This is how I learn that the famous chimp my dad got my nickname from tried to kill Reagan. Fuck yeah.

[camesawscrolled]

it’s not often that chimps get the chance to change history.

[april]

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

[gayluigi]

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[depsidase]

[camesawscrolled]

you can pry my cds from my cold dead hands

[skippyisntfunny]

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

Pulitzer Prize type shit

[wizardshark]

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

[spooky-narwhal]

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

[shinraalpha]

i do think lobbying for data centres over climate goals should be considered a crime against humanity btw

[depsidase]