callmekevin sentence starters | cooking simulator
for all you beautiful incompetent chefs.
« i don’t need timers! a true chef can sense when the food is done! »
« well, to be honest, i kinda need help on this part. i don’t know how to cook. »
« oh god, that’s a bit too much pepper. oh god even more of the dill, huh. »
« oh my god the fish fell on the floor. »
« i just left the fridge open too- this oven is still on too- »
« oh god that is very burned. »
« what if i put a sausage in the blender? would that work? »
« there we go, bon apple tea. »
« i’ll just microwave it. just nuke the bastard. »
« should i spice it? should i put some spices on it- whatever this thing is i’ll put on it. »
« i hope you like oil. and really, REALLY spicy salmon. »
« oh that’s just a bowl of red! i can give you a bowl of red! »
« here’s a life hack to pick up food when it’s too hot. so you put the trout on the plate, ok? then you get the blow torch– »
« how’s the salmon lookin- oh my god, that’s completely black! »
« ok, here’s the pot. let’s just fill it with FUCKING water. »
« the steam means the meal is good. another chef tip for ya. »
« ohhh the fish doesn’t like being in the microwave. it’s revolting. »
« there we go. it’s almost all on the plate. »
« we’re doing well. i don’t know how we’re doing on time but the recipe’s goinnnnnng- … it’s going. »
« onions. onions! i need onions, WHERE ONIONS?! »
« ok don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic! if i were sour cream where would i be?! »
« this could be my best meal yet! which isn’t saying much but– »
« pork chops are a myth! that’s not even a real meal! »
« oh, slow down! what is a carrot?! »
« like, surely they won’t be able to taste i left them in the counter like that! »
« i don’t even know if i’m supposed to be putting in black pepper. i’m just getting creative with it. »
« just pick it up, it’s still good, it’s still good! »
« the onion is burning but like, how do i control that?! the rest isn’t cooked! »
« should i blend it?! i don’t know!!! »
« it was supposed to turn into soup! i assume i’m supposed to blend it but the instructions didn’t say “blend it”! »
2087
turnnoffyourmind
kianamaiart
yousharknotpass
areudirty
izzy806
