Increasingly getting really frustrated with men/amabs (and really any one of any gender but still holds privilege in other areas) who believe they're excused from certain biases or virtues (that 9/10 times they were raised into, and have taken little to no time to unlearn these things) just because they're a little neuro da virgin and gay :3
Its still a form of misogyny if you feel threatened by a woman who outshines you in the workplace, but don't care when your amab/male friend does it- even if you use they/them pronouns. It is still a form of racism if you feel like a black man who uses a big word is arrogant, but your white friend is intelligent when they do it- even if you're gay. This does not mean you're not nonbinary/queer, it just means you still hold privilege and you still have bigotry to unlearn. (This is relevant to any person who possesses both a minority and privileged identity)
Was reading Veil (which is Very Good, BTW) and one of the illustrations tripped the 'always thinking about PH' portion of my brain so heeeere we are. XD The original art by Kotteri below!
Someone wrote that during the argument in ep 43, Lauren and Kieran are both angry and upset, but only he resorted to violence.
There is a reason for this. Not because he has a more violent nature than Lauren, but because the environment in which he grew up and in which he moves every day is much more violent than Lauren's.
Violence here is not an extreme solution, but an everyday means of communication.
And I don't just mean that he was deliberately trained to be able to cross the line that prevents one human being from harming another.
Right at the beginning, when Kieran goes to file a report, there is a short verbal exchange with some members of the Scythe in the pub. During that verbal exchange, knives are drawn. and no one even thinks about it. In Grim Goblin, this is a completely normal occurrence.
When he delayed in fulfilling his task, the leader has him beaten. Just as a reminder. There is no verbal warning, physical punishment is the first and basic solution.
When he is talking to Bella, and the two of them are as close friends as possible under the circumstances, Bella kicks him, and when he is kneeling on the ground, she kicks him again. She doesn't really want to hurt him seriously, and he doesn't blame her. It's just a normal communication pattern that they are both used to.
After all, the first thing Kieran does after bringing Lauren to his cave is throw a knife at her. He acts as if he would have acted with Bella, the person he grew up with.
We don't see much of Kieran's past, but almost all the images we can glimpse are filled with violence.
In fact, judging by what Kieran tells Lauren during their visit to Greychapel, such violence was present in his life even before the Scythe kidnapped him.
It's impossible to grow up in such conditions and remain unaffected by it, whether we like it or not we adopt the behavioral patterns of those around us.
It happens that those who were abused in childhood, commit violence themselves in adulthood.
I don't think this is exactly Kieran's case, he is very aware that his reaction during the argument was not okay and it is certainly not an excuse, but I don't think it is likely to happen again, it is more of an explanation for why he attacked Lauren in the first place.
(by the way, all of this applies to Bella as well, her behavior is of course influenced by the daily presence of violence)
I really wish we saw the averge life of the middle/lower class person in Ardhalis. Cause most of our protagonists are priveledged or are in a place of power (lauren kym and will are cops and lauren and will are part of the upper class and aristocracy) and kierans life is pretty far away from that of the averge joe, not that these ppl dont get used in this crusade of the phantom scythe quite the contrary they are the backbone, without them the apostles wouldn't be as powerful, but kieran got a really short end of the stick and isn't present ever in the community to know what its like for other ppl and he must get a decent paycheck at the end of the month
I would imagine these ppl are conformists out of necessity, knowing that nothing will change. Do they know the "motives" of the scythe or does the royal family keep the newspapers and radiotowers quiet on it trying to avoid a revolution (and could we call them conformists if they dont know theres ppl supposedly fighting for them). How does a parent bring food to the table, how is their education, do they make to the end of the month? How do they live the unsafety, how do they bear it? Do they find it in themselves to help out each other, even if you are not in a better situation than the person you are helping? Do they find it in themselves to look at your suffering neighbor in the eyes and acknowledge their pain or are they too preoccupied with their own? How is the work, how many hours do they work? Are there workers unions, do they get brutally shut down? Do they know hospitals and the health service could be of easier access? Do the enterprises the royalty provides know that if nothing changes no one will work in the industry cause they are too sick or too dead? Do they dream of the end of capitalism WAIT I MEAN- Do they dream of the end of the monarchy, oligarchy, unsafety, hunger, sickness, poverty?
I just noticed a small detail about how Lauren phrased this question during the factory.
She didn't say "Kieran, why don't you use a gun?" even though he is the same person. She specifically set him apart from his assasin persona because at this point, she knows its not who he really is. There is a killer that has been bent and broken- forced to put up a font to survive, and then there is the kind and gentle artist who sees the beauty in humanity. Its small but I find it very important looking at Lauki's progression.
Lauki Afterstory / Romance | 7-10k | Teen And Up Audiences
Author: scmarshtacky (ao3 / instagram)
Artist 1: @laukisimp / laukisimp (instagram / X )
Artist 2: kacenka_listens / kacenka_writes (ao3)
Song: Solas - Jamie Duffy
↳ Keep reading below for a sneak peek!
Huddled against the icy cold and bitter wind, Lauren glanced up toward the train tracks. There was a part of her that hadn’t expected to hear from him again, a part of her that had moved on and dived with complete focus into her work. It had helped her forget about it all… to an extent, and the distraction was most welcome.
In the past five years, Lauren had climbed her way up to head detective now - a job that she took with the utmost sincerity, especially knowing how hard she'd had to work to get back onto Hermann’s good side. Case after case. She’d solved them meticulously and thoroughly while learning how to rely on clues aside from just the lies. If the Phantom Scythe had taught her anything, it was that hearing a lie could not tell her the truth of the matter, and in many cases, it may not even give her the full picture of what wasn’t true.
So she’d take it as an inkling of a clue, and investigate around her until she found enough evidence to back up her claims regardless of if she could get a confession. Though it usually wasn’t hard with a few pointed questions once the facts were laid out in front of the suspects.
In the midst of one of her most difficult cases to date - aside from the Phantom Scythe - Lauren had received a letter. One in which a certain man stated that he was returning to Ardhalis in the coming months. Kieran had let her know the date and the time that the train would be arriving, and Lauren, unable to sleep the night before, had gotten to the platform nearly an hour early.
She regretted her impatience now, as the day was cold even by Ardhalis’s standards. With the next gust of wind, Lauren brought her hands to her lips to blow warm air onto them. Her eyes drifted to the clock. It should have arrived by now. Should she go inside of the station to at least get out of the wind? Logic told her yes, but despite that, her feet remained firmly routed to the platform. Perhaps she was too cold even to move at this point.
A shiver traveled through Lauren’s spine, but on the next gust, she heard a faint whistling of a train engine. Bringing her head up, she sought for the locomotive on the horizon. In the end, she felt the rumbling of vibrations through her feet before she actually caught sight of the black ironed engine that led the cars behind it. The blowing of the whistle sounded again, this time loud enough to make her ears ache, but her focus was fastened to the windows of the cars as they passed slowly by where she stood, looking for striking turquoise eyes and black hair from somewhere within.
With a light screech, the train finally halted, and the people poured off. From the southern regions, they were clearly unprepared for the bitter chill, and many of the passengers visibly shivered and jumped when the cold air met their lightly clothed bodies.
In an ironic twist, it was the thick coat - so unlike everyone else that had gotten off - that Lauren’s eyes found first. Only after she’d examined the black wool did her eyes travel upward to find those familiar blue eyes. Lauren’s breath caught in her throat as she felt the world around her shift oddly in the moment that he, too, caught her gaze. The distance of the platform in that heartbeat was both astronomical and non-existent.
“Kieran…” With his name, Lauren’s body began to thaw, and her feet which had previously been frozen to the earth beneath her finally moved. It was slow at first, but she worked her way into a sprint as she covered ground. Her shawl fell from her shoulders as she picked up speed, but Lauren hardly noticed. The chill in her bones was gone, her focus all dedicated to the one man before her. Her partner.
She opened her arms and embraced him in one smooth motion, and felt the rumble of a laugh in Kieran’s chest as he returned the gesture.
“Did you miss me, Detective?” he teased, tilting his head as he cast a lopsided grin back down at her.
“Don’t pretend it’s one sided, Subordinate.”
“You’re right,” Kieran lifted his head toward the flakes of snow that were beginning to fall down on them. With his words, a puff was released into the frigid air. She could see him smiling from his side profile, but his eyes were a bit distant as he gazed over the cityscape. “I’ve missed it.”
Despite what it might seem, Lauren is not the impulsive one in their relationship. It is Kieran who acts with his heart, without consulting his brain first. Lauren is the one who looks at the world through the eyes of a detective, who judges and analyzes.
Kieran falls in love with Lauren at first sight. I am so sure that in another life, in the one that was kinder to him, he would have tried to ask her out on a date back in that café. He is the one who carries her on his back to his apartment without really knowing why, who takes her hand and runs with her to celebrate her promotion that he had no idea about 10 minutes ago, the one who touches her face and then turns away, all unsure and shy about what he has actually done.
But Lauren needs to know all the facts first. She looks at Kieran, listens to him and draws conclusions. In fact, she needs to go through a battle with him that will strip away his usual masks to the core and she can finally judge him as a person.
Lauren doesn't fully realize it yet, but for her, the factory was the moment she fell in love with Kieran. Not on the basis of a single glance, or an impulse, as the result of long-term observation and consideration.
And now comes the best part, once she decides that he is the man she wants to be her partner not only in battle, but in life, she will never change that decision.
