King @cankoking - Tumblr Blog

I’m at my friend’s apartment in dublin. she’s been trapped in her bathroom for like an hour and maintenance just showed up with KITCHEN UTENSILS??? 😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀

wizardarchetypes

I’m giving them 15 more minutes and then I’m walking across the street to the conveniently located fire department bc he just tried to pry open this metal door with a kitchen spoon

wizardarchetypes

he’s giving me attitude for asking for a locksmith. i was going to be polite for as long as we needed him as an ally but he’s run his use.

wizardarchetypes

just realized he’s wearing a single latex glove. for why

wizardarchetypes

like i know sometimes the most unassuming tools do the job but i cannot stress enough that he simply tried to pry open a metal fire door with it. he didn’t try to employ it on the lock in any way. the slotted spoon told me immediately this was not our man. pack it up chef boyardee

the-ladyguinevere

So what was it like having the fire department axe open the door

the-haiku-bot

So what was it like

having the fire department

axe open the door

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

wumbsie

needy little rock

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

iamcon-fu-sion

pick a side

team gaud

team pigeon

Voting ended onJun 1

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

CEASE THIS IMMEDIATELY

eixd-deactivated20150710

The rest of the space is going to be pretty pissed when they see this.

thesassycat

did you google how to take a screen shot

unyieldingsilence

‎

caspercryptid

I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird

pine-branches

things humans are known to do when stressed:

-hallucinate

-cry over what seems to be small things

-become furiously angry over what seems to be small things

-hit a self destruct button over and over again

-lose all sense of reality

-becoming straight up unable to communicate

-view every situation as life or death

-experience delusions/become vulnerable to irrational worldviews

-perceive hostility where none exists

-become extremely nauseous and/or throw up

-stop engaging in sleeping/eating/basic hygiene

-stop processing sensory input

-process way too much sensory input all at once

-lash out at others/themselves

-and more!

being able to recognize when a human (ie. you or another person) is so stressed out they cannot think clearly is VERY important for conflict resolution and diffusing emotional crisis. highly recommend trying to train yourself at being able to recognize that state of panic- there is a point in which logic and rationality is useless and you have to address the underlying emotional issue first. knowing that saves everyone a lot of pain and struggle.

wolfythewitch

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wolfythewitch

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ratsoupee

field trip cancelled

Based off hit tumblr post:

jabberding0

Claymation

on new year’s eve 1999 i cut my fingure on a can illustrating the importance of small things

coast-modern

I was 12 years old in 2011.... you could NEVER make me hate stomp clap hey music

coast-modern

How it feels to be 10 years old and hear Little Lion Man for the first time

caspercryptid

And it was

NOT YOUR FAULT BUT MINE

And it was

YOUR HEART ON THE LINE

I really

FUCKED IT UP THIS TIME

calechipconecrimes

DIDN'T I MY DEAR

brightlotusmoon

DIDN'T I MY DEAR

moghedien

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

yourfaveisintersex

what if I just made my profile picture a male calico cat or something. hurm

icewingassasin

Could I suggest a picture of Dawntreader Texas Calboy? He is a beautiful male calico cat who is a chimera. He's also somewhat controversial among some cat fancy associations since he is a male cat with female colors, and some people are strangely transphobic towards him, despite him being a cat? There was even a rule implemented to keep him from competing in a cat show. If you look up his name, he made a few news articles.

yourfaveisintersex

Oh my god?????

Yeah you're right about beautiful I'm squeezing him until he pops!!!!! I love this guy I think I'm going to make an edit real quickly Calboy I love you I'm so sorry people are calling you a freak??????

yourfaveisintersex

:)

crackshipsandregret

The first time I saw anything related to Project Hail Mary was during the launch of Artemis II. Watching the livestream subsequently lead to my Instagram feed filling with space edits. This was quickly followed by a video of Ryan Gossling edited to the song "In The Navy" by Village People. After that, seemingly every single comment on every Artemis II post I saw was about shooting the dude up into space when he really didn't want to go, and people found it funny.

Long story short, there was a time where I legitimately believed that Ryan Gossling was one of the astronauts on the Artemis II