+ Any pronouns × 18+ x Clown in the Streets, Clown in the Sheets, Clown with the Meats
Got that OCD!!! ( obsessive clown disorder ) But also, I may reblog and unreblog some points if they make me brain buzz wrong.
Laurierose, the person you reblogged from is a terf. I just checked through her blog and inform you since I was "yeah valid" and then looked at the reply in that post
which blog/post is this about? i went through my recent reblogs and couldn't find it and now idk if i missed something or if it's too far down to scroll to 😭 and when looking up a blog with laurierose handle it comes up empty
"that time of the month" "monthly visitor" "feminine hygiene products" GRRAH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! PERIOD!! MENSTRUATION!!!! TAMPONS!!! PADS!! MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!
"One breath and you are at the hive’s threshold, where smoke, wax, and honey conspire into alchemy. A fragrance of sun-baked wood and warm beeswax, buttery, gold, and dense with the ghost of a hundred flowers. The bees’ own musk rises in the air, intimate and unmistakably alive. Honey follows in a deep glow that transcends simple sweetness. Soft puffs of smoke curl in, dry and calming, turning the air velvety and strange. Roll initiative."
why be radically exclusionary abt queerness when you could be radically inclusionary instead. let's inflate the numbers. let's become the majority. the sky's the limit
"we can't let just ANYONE call themselves queer!!" what are you talking about. I'm steepling my fingers and gleefully cackling every time we Get Another One and you should be too. lock in.
Fuck yeah, let's make this little raft we're surviving on big as hell. If I bring my bit of driftwood and you bring yours and we let as many people join in as want to, we might end up with a functional boat.
Back when I was active on AVEN (I have no idea what it's like now), we had two definitions of asexual -- an external definition and an internal definition. The external definition, the one that's on the wiki and the press material and that everyone uses when talking about asexuality, was of course "an asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction". The internal definition, the one we kept in mind when talking to each other, was "an asexual is someone who calls themself asexual".
The reason for this was very simple and very practical. In the very early AVEN and immediately pre-AVEN days, back before my time when the disparate ace communities were first finding each other and creating a public online network, there was a fair lot of exclusionist discourse. There are a lot of ways to be asexual, and the early community of course fell prey to the usual infighting about whether someone with a libido counts as asexual, whether someone who chooses to have sex can be asexual (usual tiring Purity Brigade Bullshit), whether someone without a libido counts as asexual (after all, if you have no sex drive, are you sure it's a matter of sexual orientation?), whether ace people count as lgbtq, all the usual nonsense. This worked out the way it pretty much always does -- the inclusionists "win", because exclusionists always break off into smaller and smaller communities so the largest group is, of course, the one where all different kinds of people stick together and welcome each other. And that was AVEN.
And when you're trying to have a strong community and somebody shows up at the gates saying, "hi, I think I'm asexual", it's a fucking horrible idea to start doubting their credentials. They saw the public definition and started calling themselves asexual; they're here, and now they're under the internal definition. An asexual is somebody who calls themself asexual. Sometimes, these people would be frustrated allosexuals, or people choosing to swear off sex, who might not fit the external definition of the term. We made sure that everyone knew the external definition, and there were always conversations about asexuality and how it affected our lives, if they asked us directly what we thought then we'd say "only you can know for sure" and then give our thoughts on the matter for as long as they asked for them, and other than that it wasn't anyone else's fucking business or anyone's place to judge. If people weren't nasty and didn't create problems, they could stay and call themselves whatever they wanted.
Many of these people who didn't fit the strict definition eventually left after receiving support and discovering more about themselves. Some stopped IDing as ace but became allies to the community. Some people who came in with the most "I'm a heterosexual girl who is angry at my boyfriend" intro posts you've ever seen in your life discovered that they were in fact ace and that the messages that society had taught them about sex and romance were simply not for them -- these are people who, in a gatekept community, would have been incorrectly ousted immediately.
And then there were people -- a LOT of people -- who found themselves in grey areas. People who said "okay, this community makes sense to me and is useful to me and I have so much in common with a lot of you, but not EXACTLY like you. However, what I experience may not be the strict default definition but it's an awful lot like these other members on the forum." And they formed sub-communities. The grey aces. The demisexuals. The aromantics and greyromantics. Through these dialogues, between subgroups who in a more exclusionary community would be arguing about who the "real" asexuals are and splintering off into their own communities away from all those stupid cishet fakers, we developed language to describe our similarities and differences. The sexual/romantic/aesthetic attraction model came out of these dialogues and it became so massively important to our understanding of asexuality that basically everyone in the ace/aro community describes themselves by it, as do a large number of people outside the community. The community made massive leaps ahead in just a decade or two by, well, being a community. By being a place where anybody who called the place home, and didn't bully other people in the home, was right. By being somewhere where anybody who saw "asexual: someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction" and thought "that sounds like a term with some use for me" was allowed to use it.
An asexual is somebody who does not experience sexual attraction.
An asexual is somebody who calls themselves asexual.
These definitions are not in conflict -- they are both, in concert, fundamentally necessary for a safe and vibrant community where we can protect, support, and learn about each other and ourselves.
And that is absolutely not exclusive to asexual communities.
What aspects of a person—appearance, personality or otherwise—are attractive to your OC?
The Emperor's Children's perception of beauty is heavily distorted, and Denatar walks the line of what can still be considered comprehensible — though he suspects not everyone in the Imperium would understand his peculiar tastes, so he mostly keeps quiet. He's drawn to unusual, aesthetically pleasing mutations and modifications — like iridescent scales, thin skin with bright blue veins visible beneath, elegant fins, striking hide patterns, large luminous eyes (or their complete absence).
What brings comfort to your OC (person, place, object, etc.)?
Music. Back when he still belonged to a Chaos warband, he had a special place where he would play alone on his daemonic harp — notes he had found on battlefields. It was the belly of a ruined, empty ship, half-sunk into the ground — ghosts from all around would gather to listen to his playing.
Are your OC’s decisions influenced more by their head or by their heart?
As strange as it may sound for such a creative Astartes, he mainly relies on his head, because he lacks confidence that what he'd like to do would be legal and morally acceptable. He knows the Astartes creed and the laws of the Imperium, and uses them as a guide when making decisions.
What is one of your OC’s biggest dreams and do they believe that dream will come true?
He would like his Chaos warband to join the Imperium — he misses them… and for Fulgrim to purge the corruption from his hearts… and for the Emperor's Children to return to the days of their former glory, so that the symbol of his Legion would be a reason not to hide parts of his armour, but to be proud of them… alas, some things are already beyond the line.
What is your OC’s favorite love language?
Acts of service: Astartes were forged to act, not to philosophize or daydream. Denatar will hunt a Tyranid for lunch, gift you a bouquet of your enemies' heads, and write a sonnet in your honor.
Does your OC believe in soulmates? Have they ever thought someone was their soulmate?
He so 'believes' in soulmates that he considers all his brothers were originally created to be soulmates, and that those with whom things don't work out have simply drifted further from the original roots and genes than the rest.
How forgetful is your OC?
He might sulk for appearances' sake, but overall he's not very touchy and gets over things easily.
Is your OC a perfectionist?
"PERFECTION OR DEATH— *cough* I MEAN... We all strive to fulfil our duty to the Emperor as best we can, right?"
Does your OC hold others to the same standards they hold themselves
No… the standards he holds himself to are unattainable for anyone else… that wouldn't be fair…
Is your OC an optimist or a pessimist?
A somewhat melancholic optimist. As a leader, he tries to project confidence, at least on the surface.
Does your OC have a favorite flower? If so, what is it?
Probably some shit with squirming tentacles from the Eye of Terror.
What is one of your OC’s happiest memories?
This one:
What is one of your OC’s greatest fears and how much does it affect them?
The purification rituals of the Death Watch left very real scars on him — painful enough that he never wants to go through that procedure again. He's afraid of becoming corrupted under the influence of feelings and emotions, and he greatly restrains himself to prevent that from happening
Velmorius:
How important is the concept of strength to your OC?
Strength is a simple and clear indicator of authority for him — whoever speaks the language of force speaks his language. He will always give preference to those who can demonstrate physical athleticism over anyone else.
Does your OC embrace or suppress their emotions?
Velmorius is hot‑tempered and irritable — if he didn't hold himself back in most cases where he'd love to punch someone's face in, there wouldn't be any unpunched faces left on their Death Watch vessel. Well, except maybe for Apollonius, Katharina, and perhaps Harast.
Does your OC get jealousy easily?
Who is this jealousy you're talking about
How trusting is your OC and does it have an effect on their relationships?
Given that he's in the middle of the Alpha Legion's unfolding schemes, he doesn't trust anyone one fucking bit — not even himself. How does that affect things? Well, people are usually unhappy when he makes them adjust to his fangs so he can read their memories. Well you know for yourself.
Is your OC open to compromise?
He can tolerate... some... stuff. His Inquisitor is a radical, and although he grumbles at some of his decisions and methods, Velmorius generally trusts him and continues to act under his command.
Does your OC enjoy the simple pleasures? Are they satisfied with the bare minimum?
He's completely ascetic, as befits an Astartes. But he enjoys reading fiction books about knights and love when he gets a spare moment.
Does your OC hold others to the same standards they hold themselves to?
He holds Astartes in high regard as the Emperor's angels. They are the light of humanity, the perfect ideal, a fragment of His very soul — he demands from himself and from other Astartes that they live up to his standards, and from mortals — obedience and reverence.
Is your OC an optimist or a pessimist?
Rather a pessimist — the stamp of sorrow in his genetic code left a harsh mark on him, a reminder of his beloved Primarch's death.
Does your OC have a favorite flower? If so, what is it?
It would be scarlet roses — their petals look like drops of blood.
What is one of your OC’s happiest memories?
The saddest moment, when Velmorius felt as if his wings had been torn out, was when he lost his beloved twin brothers in the battle on Baal (Askale and Azrand). The happiest moment was finding them again, even with their souls scarred, many years later.
I mean, they're not biological brothers… they were lovers.
What is one of your OC’s greatest fears and how much does it affect them?
To fall to the Black Rage and hurt the ones he loves. This makes him distance himself from those he loves when he's stressed, which makes things even worse.
one of the best ways i’ve found to combat that inherent depressive pessimism without veering into toxic positivity territory is simply the phrase “i’m open to the possibility”
this particularly works with anything negative i’ve forecasted. “i woke up feeling like shit today, so my day is gonna suck” isn’t a particularly helpful thought, but “it’s a great day to be alive!!!!!” feels hollow and insincere when i have a pounding headache & am running on three hours of sleep
instead i’ll tell myself, “i really don’t feel good right now, but i’m open to the possibility that coffee and breakfast might perk me up a bit.” or “i’m in a lot of pain today, but i’m open to the possibility that my workday might still have fun parts despite that”
sometimes, when your impulse is to slam the door on anything good, but you’re not exactly up to going out & hunting it down yourself, leaving the door open just a crack makes all the difference
