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[1/5/17, 3:42:27 PM] dessert wolf: me in an hour: im bringing back hayden [1/5/17, 3:42:31 PM] cum gutters: ofc [1/5/17, 3:42:34 PM] dessert wolf: dont let me [1/5/17, 3:42:38 PM] cum gutters: WON'T [1/5/17, 3:42:44 PM] dessert wolf: YOU GOTTA BE STRONG KAZ I MEAN IT [1/5/17, 3:42:52 PM] cum gutters: I WILL BE I WON’T LET YOU [1/5/17, 3:42:58 PM] dessert wolf: thank you
leftoverfear:
hayden in episode 6.06.
i’m going to break down this episode by moments with hayden so i can really get all my thoughts out.
Keep reading
hayden is now at @leftoverfear
My poor mother begged for a sheep but raised a wolf.
Michelle K., Four Rhythms. (via paralvman)
knowing that someone else thought she had everything under control – well, malia would take the compliment and not reject it. her life had never been easy, and probably wouldn’t ever be. at least her bio mom was locked up somewhere and not close by, wanting her dead. ‘ at least you don’t have to deal with theo anymore. you get to see what an alpha’s SUPPOSED to look like, and how one’s supposed to treat his pack. ’ yeah they’d all had their issues, but scott was a good guy. he knew how to take care of all of them. didn’t use them for his own petty reasons, like theo. ‘ don’t worry. and if it gets anywhere near bad, we’ve got PLENTY of chains. ’
she nodded slowly, knowing she was right. but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she would always have some sort of connection to theo. that, and she didn’t have proof that he would never return, and her guilt for jumping pack was still present whether or not he was here. ❛ i know, i know. and i’m so thankful and lucky to have scott now, i just ---- it’s a little weird. it’s like i’m still waiting for theo to pop out of nowhere and tell me i’m wrong, ❜ she shrugged. a small smile formed on her face at the mention of chains, and she nodded. ❛ i’ll keep that in mind. i know what my strength is capable of, and i know it doesn’t stand a chance on a full moon. so --- thanks. ❜
❝ trust me my dad has been through what your sister is going through, he can definitely help. ❞ now that hayden was pretty much officially part of the pack it would just be a nice thing to help her out with. as nice as it would be to keep their loved ones IN the dark it is somewhat impossible. ❝ yeah it all just SUCKS but i think she can get through this. i mean she might not be as open and accepting at first, but she might be able to come around to all of it. she kind of has too. we don’t know how long things are going to continue happening here and it’s honestly a miracle we’ve been able to keep things a SECRET this long. ❞
she nodded in hopes to calm herself down, to remind herself that everything stiles was saying was exactly right. she needed to put her worries to rest and just DO IT, because if she kept avoiding it, it would only come back to bite her. ❛ then i want your dad to help. if it comes from me, i’m just a crazy teenager. if it comes from him, it might still not feel REAL, but at least she has someone on her level that can talk some sense into her. ❜ she was mostly convincing herself, but saying it out loud helped. she looked back up at him and took a deep breath. ❛ and what if she thinks i’m safer if i don’t go near you guys? ❜
theo kept his eyes locked on her, hoping he could read what was going through her head. though, her words kept revealing much more than her face and all he knew was that he had to keep pushing her — keep planting DOUBT and keep getting her to question everything. ❛ i’m not asking you to follow my every move and i’m not looking to control you anymore. all i want is a PACK. and maybe if you had been there to stop me like you say you would have, i would have realized that sooner, ❜ he shrugged. he would eventually look to control her, but he wanted to give her the ILLUSION of freedom to make his side seem more appealing. a look of false remorse crossed his face and he dropped his head to glance down as though he was attempting to hide it. no, theo didn’t have faith in himself to stop himself from doing something terrible, but that was because he didn’t want to. and he didn’t want anyone else to try to stop him either. if they did, they would end up dead, like hayden would have if she had gotten in his way at all when he killed josh and tracy, but why would he let her know that? he had to lie his way out of this one. ❛ i made a mistake. i know, ❜ he said, finally looking at her again. ❛ at the time, yeah, i did need someone to stop me from killing them, but that’s not the case anymore. i’m not looking for more power and once i get a pack, i plan on keeping it alive and SAFE. that’s all i want. ❜ and vengeance. power would most likely follow shortly after he succeeded with that, but he would keep that to himself. ❛ you can’t bring them back and neither can i, but can BOTH make up for what we did. i was in hell — or whatever that is to the skinwalkers. do you think that hasn’t changed me at all? do you think what i went through there didn’t make me think twice about what i did? i know i fucked up. and part of how you can be there now is by letting me PROVE that. i’m not going to make the same mistakes again. ❜ all of this was a lie. he only regretted how it turned out for him. but he would say whatever it took.
❛ and what would you have done? ❜ he asked, genuinely curious. all he knew was what he had expected her to do. his arms folded tightly over his chest when she mentioned him not trusting her. ❛ no, i didn’t trust you. not completely. but that’s not why i kept you from eichen house. i did it because i knew liam was going to be there and that would have distracted you. that would have put all of us at RISK. yeah, part of that might have been me not totally trusting you, but was i wrong in thinking that? it wasn’t because i thought you’d get in the way of my plans, but because i didn’t want the pack or you HURT. i didn’t give you the chance because it was still too early to be sure of you like i was with the others. but if there had been more time and you had done things differently like you said, that wouldn’t have been the case. i could have learned to trust you and everything would have been different. ❜ of course, there was a bit more to it than that, but he wasn’t going to go into it with her. ❛ if all you knew was the mccall pack then you knew how dysfunctional they were too. there’s a human that killed a chimera, a coyote that was going to kill her own mother, a banshee that had a hole drilled into her head and was losing her mind, a kitsune who was losing control, and a werewolf — your BOYFRIEND — who tried to kill his alpha. neither of our packs were running very smoothly, so you can’t use that as an argument. ❜ his eyes fell to the ground for a brief moment when she said she wasn’t sorry for anything else she did. ❛ i don’t believe you, hayden, ❜ he said in a slightly softer tone. ❛ i think you’re sorry for leaving the pack behind and going against us like you did. and i think you just don’t want to ADMIT it to me. ❜ honestly, he was taking a risk there by saying that when he wasn’t completely sure, but he had to take a few risks if he was going to get her to tell him the truth.
theo shrugged and shook his head. ❛ i’m not trying to convince you of anything. i’m just showing you a different perspective. ❜ LIAR. trying to convince her that scott wasn’t good — good enough for her, at least — was exactly what he was trying to do. ❛ can you count on him? honestly? one hundred percent of the time, can you count on him to save you if you needed it? ❜ if she was smart, she’d say no. she shouldn’t completely count on anyone but herself to save her. that was how this life worked. ❛ think about it — the alpha you have right now is a true alpha. that’s the rarest kind of werewolf you can find. people have been coming after him for a long time now and that’s not going to change. odds are, one of these times, someone is going to SUCCEED. i almost did. more often than not, people will go after the pack to get to him. so every single time someone comes after you because of scott — which is going to be a lot — you think he’ll be able to save you? BEING in his pack puts you danger in itself. ❜ that was truly the reality of the situation. then again, her being a supernatural at all put her in danger, but being around scott wasn’t going to help that. ❛ but with ME? not many people even know that i’m alive, hayden. even if people did know, with the dread doctors gone, not many people are going to see me as much of a threat. ❜ even if he most certainly was. ❛ people aren’t going to come after me or my pack nearly as often. and i would be willing to do things scott wouldn’t to protect the pack if i had to. ❜ killing people, he meant. ❛ scott has a lot of rules and those rules are going to end up with someone DEAD at some point. ❜
theo had to fight the urge to grin at her reaction to stiles killing someone. that would never stop being a piece of information that benefit him and he was glad everyday for convincing donovan to go after him. ❛ he did, ❜ he confirmed. ❛ and if you don’t believe me, ask him yourself. ❜ a sigh left him as he prepared to explain himself when it came to killing josh the first time. but he still intended on keeping the focus on what stiles had done wrong instead on himself. that was the whole point of this — DEMONIZE her current pack. ❛ josh was attacking stiles and stiles could have died without me. stiles didn’t necessarily do anything wrong in that situation, but he didn’t react to it like i expected. he didn’t even flinch. all he cared about was that i knew about what happened to donovan while josh’s dead body was right next to him. and then he was ready to LIE about it all to protect his image the pack had of him. he’s capable of a lot more than you think he is. ❜ the perfect part about this was that nothing was a lie. sure, he was leaving out some crucial details like donovan’s death was self-defense, but that’s just what he had to do.
at her question, theo had to actively calm himself down from how excited that made him. she was asking something that allowed him to put an incredible amount of doubt in her mind and he couldn’t have been happier. ❛ yeah, i think they would. you saw how much tension there was with them before and scott almost died and the pack was pulled apart because of it. do you think they’re going to risk having tension again? if something were to happen with you and liam, do you really think they’d choose YOU? there’s a lot more history with him than there is with you, ❜ he pointed out. he shook his head quickly. ❛ i’m not expecting you to answer to me or follow my every move. you were never the type to do that with me and i don’t expect that to change. ❜ yes, he did, but he wanted to make sure she wasn’t aware of that as it happened. it would be a slow process ( if he got his way in all of this ). ❛ it’s hard for any supernatural creature to survive on their OWN, so yeah, i do want you to leave your pack. you might have had a better chance of surviving when you joined them in the first place, but things have changed. you’re SAFER with me now, ❜ he told her. theo couldn’t help but frown. her next question was tough to answer because it would certainly have an impact on her willingness to join him again. but in this case, he figured HONESTY was the route to go. ❛ no, i still don’t trust you. you betrayed me, so how could i trust you? and i know it’s the same for you. you and i both didn’t trust each other when i was your alpha and we still don’t trust each other, but the difference is that now, we have TIME. things have calmed down now and i don’t have any ‘evil plans’ like you probably think i do. the only plan i have is to have a pack again and i won’t screw it up this time. we can try to trust each other. i’m not saying it would be easy, but i’m willing to try because i need a pack and you’re the last one i have. ❜ until he found more, that is. but even then, he might still keep hayden around. he took a deep breath and shook his head before continuing, ❛ no matter how many times you try to tell yourself that you belong with the mccall pack, you don’t and you know that. you NEED me too. ❜
she had always been so sure of herself, so SELF AWARE. but everything had changed. the supernatural had completely turned her world around, and she felt like she had been starting from fresh. it was SCARY, because she didn’t want to change. but circumstances had made it impossible for her to keep a level head and stand her own ground. she used to be the person who never questioned anything, and yet now she was questioning everything —— because she had to. anything was possible now, all cards were on the table. so when someone said something that made her hesitant, of course it was going to weigh her mind —— especially when it was something that already made her weary. her eyes narrowed in on him and she quickly shook her head. ❛ WAIT, no. you never controlled me. get that straight. maybe you had some kind of gross advantage over tracy, or josh, but NOT me. ❜ at one point, he almost did. she was nearly blind to what was going on, and she almost lost liam to it —— until she realized there was something going on with theo. something off, something WASN’T RIGHT. but still, the hard expression on her face softened, faltering just slightly as she thought about it. ❛ and you think i’m the best place to start for a pack? ❜ she repeated, still not understanding WHY he had come for her. she had never been faithful to him, and she thought that meant she was out.
but now, his words made her face fall even more, and she dropped her hands to her sides to remove the barrier between them. maybe he was right —— maybe he had changed. she didn’t know what he had gone through when he left; the same way no one understood what she went through when she had died. she had to have sympathy for that because she KNEW what it felt like to have to explain yourself to someone when they would never fully understand. ❛ is theo raeken ACTUALLY admitting to messing up? wow, incredible, ❜ she spat back, words dripping with sarcasm —— but it was a MASK to hide that she was easing up on him. ❛ i don’t know what you went through —— but if it’s anything like DYING and trying to deal with life again.. i know it’s not easy. so.. if you really want to change, you ARE going to have to prove it. but i really don’t know how that will be possible for you. ❜
❛ —— i don’t know, ❜ she answered honestly, hating herself for not having a solution. but it was far too late now anyway. she was actually relieved when he admitted to not trusting her. she knew he’d be LYING if he said he did, and her GUILT for the situation needed some kind of closure. she raised a brow as he explained, and she continued to let her guard down, giving him honesty. ❛ well, you’re right. if i was there and i knew liam was there… or that he was at risk to be hurt, then yeah, i would’ve been distracted. but i never really understood your plan in the first place. i just —— ❜ was always team mccall, but those words were ones she chose to hold back. ❛ honestly, theo. would you have EVER trusted me, knowing i was with someone from the mccall pack? ❜ she was ACTUALLY sleeping with the enemy, and she had no intentions of giving liam up then. if she were in theo’s position, she wouldn’t have budged on it either. ❛ i wouldn’t have given him up for the pack. liam comes first. even if i DID join your new pack —— that would still be true. could you even handle that? ❜ she questioned, letting out a sigh as she shook her head for even giving him an inkling that she COULD take his side again.
he was right about every member of the mccall pack. there was an issue with all of them; but there was also an issue with everyone in theo’s pack. it wasn’t until the mention of liam that she shot her eyes back at him and quickly shook her head. ❛ liam did that for me. i’m not saying it was okay —— ‘cause it wasn’t. but…. he wanted to SAVE me, and he was angry, and… ❜ she pursed her lips together, knowing she couldn’t defend liam for what he did, even if it was a gesture FOR HER life. her face only fell more as he told her he didn’t believe her. because he shouldn’t; she hated herself for leaving those people behind. ❛ okay, well. yeah, i feel bad. i feel bad for leaving people behind, and i feel SELFISH for saving myself instead of saving them. is that what you want me to say? but if i would have stayed, i’d be DEAD now too. so maybe i’m selfish, and maybe i don’t deserve to be alive right now when tracy and josh are dead, but … i’m HERE, ❜ her voice gradually got louder with each word, and she brought her hand to her hair to tug on it out of frustration. she wanted to believe that she could take theo; but she also believed the others could have taken him too.
YES. that’s what she wanted to say because that’s what she wanted to believe. scott had never given her any reason to believe that he wasn’t good —— except the times he told her he couldn’t give her the bite. he COULDN’T, right? but as much as she wanted to believe he was only protecting her, she only kept reminding herself that he wasn’t. and theo’s words weren’t helping her either. he was persuasive, and the worst part was she didn’t resent him for it. it was only herself. but his words were giving her a new perspective to it all. while scott may be a good alpha, he was a big target. she had seen that herself already, and of course she was scared. she just thought that no pack of people would be able to better protect her than them. ❛ so —— you don’t think i can protect myself? i needed scott to get me HERE. i needed the bite to survive, but that doesn’t mean i can’t fight for myself. i still have my strength and speed, ❜ she insisted, letting out a huff of air. ❛ i don’t buy that. i think people still want you dead, ❜ she admitted honestly, rolling her tongue against her the roof of her mouth as she glared at him. ❛ and what’s your idea of PROTECTING people anyway? you didn’t do such a good job of that last time, IF you remember correctly. ❜
she didn’t want to ask stiles herself. she didn’t want this information AT ALL. it was much easier when she didn’t know, and when she didn’t feel this way about stiles. ❛ are you saying you saved stiles? ❜ she questioned, almost MORE surprised by that. it made her sick just imagining that stiles was really capable of that; but then again, they all were. she just assumed that scott’s pack was ALL GOOD, but her image of them was slowly falling apart. but he was right, and she hated it. they would choose liam because she wouldn’t be here without him. he was her IN, and she had WANTED this because of him. ❛ no. you’re right. but that doesn’t mean i can’t make my own place in their pack. i can be just as worthy as anyone else in the pack. they NEED me too. ❜ not even her tone of voice was certain, and she could hear it for herself too. shaking her head, she turned away ( mostly so she could calm herself down ). at least he understood that she wouldn’t answer to him. she would never be like tracy or josh, and she would never act as his guard dog. ❛ i’m not even safe from you, how could i be safe in your pack? how could anyone be safe in your pack? ❜ she muttered, still avoiding eye contact with him. ❛ so how would you ever trust me again? how could i trust you? how could things REALLY change? i’m ALL you have, right, you’re really making yourself look better. real convincing, theo, ❜ she spat at him, finally turning to him and sighing. in a calm world, she might’ve gone back to theo’s pack with no issue. that was if she knew there would be no repercussions —— but she had a boyfriend, she had friends. she was a werewolf because of scott mccall. how could she leave all that behind, for ONE guy? one bad guy? ❛ you don’t think you’ll be the one with a target on your back if i leave that pack? and what about me? you think anyone will be HAPPY that i’m with you again? no one’s going to be happy. they’ve already got plenty of reason to hate you, this is just another on their list. what’s your plan then? ❜
I just can’t get rid of the feeling that I am a BAD PERSON with a [ good heart ]. I always want to do the RIGHT thing, but in the end I’m fucking things up. In the end I’m A L W A Y S fucking things up. [x]
All the Layden kisses in gifs (requested by anonymous)
If I’m extra sarcastic with you it probably means I’m flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can’t handle your shit
Have fun figuring out which
❛ your FAILURE taught us one thing. the banality of e v i l. that you were and would always be
an ordinary evil. ❜
written by kaz
plump lips curve downwards at the prospect of a ROM COM. ‘ gods no, ’ darcy protests, head shaking gently, ‘ i hate rom coms. action movies all the way — WAIT, we probably should watch an action movie or something. i still need to catch up. have you seen iron man three yet? ’ darcy, evidently, has NOT. she has a long list — stiles calls her captain america constantly. ‘ but twenty questions first. and i’ll START: what’s your favourite colour? ’ the only other idea she had was WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST REGRET, and she doesn’t fancy going down that road just yet.
❛ see, THIS is why we’re friends. we get each other, ❜ she laughed, nodding her head quickly at the suggestion. ❛ i haven’t! apparently i haven’t been spending too much time with liam and mason ---- probably for the best, ❜ she teased. ❛ alright, definitely easy enough and not at all threatening. mine’s green. where’s your favorite place you’ve ever been? ❜
Brows furrowed together, as he looked at the girl when she spoke to him. “What have you been smoking?” Clearly she was insane. Derek wasn’t a chimera. There was no way. He spent off of his time dodging and avoiding the doctors. “Where the Hell am I?” He repeated again glancing around. His vision was still slightly fuzzy, but he did know he was in the woods. Glancing down to the hole that he had just dug his way out he was trying frantically to pace together what just happened to him. Better yet, why it just happened to him.
“My head is killing me.” Rubbing his hands along it, they instinctively rubbed against the back of his neck. Hitting the tender place where the large needle was placed was a trigger that brought everything flooded back to him. This girl was right. The sudden rush of everything made him dizzy, but he managed to stay on his feet. “Fuck..” He was more disappointed in himself than anything. After all that hard work to avoid this. It was as if it was literally for nothing. Inhaling deeply, he turned the girl that was standing before him. “Terrified wouldn’t be the word I would use.” Rage was his main emotion, honestly. “I need to get out of here.” He didn’t know what to do or where to go now.
@cantdieagain
she looked up at him with a blank expression, trying to come up with the words that would make all of this make sense. but she couldn’t really blame him ---- it was all still too much to process for herself. her eyes followed his gaze, and she let out a sigh. “we’re not far from where you need to be,” she explained, though her words were still vague. theo was waiting for them ---- but she wouldn’t drop that ball just yet.
“it’ll only hurt for a little longer.” at least physically ---- but the emotional DAMAGE they went through once coming back to life was far worse than any physical pain her head ever felt. she was still dealing, but she was at least finally adapting to it all. or at least as well as she could. as she saw the pieces come together for him, she let out a breath she had been holding in. “no --- you can’t get out of here. people are waiting for you. people who can explain why this is happening, i promise. just come with me.”
+Hayden
@cantdieagain
leigh-rose dropped her bag off of her shoulder and unzipped the front pouch, pulling out a little patterned package of tissues. “you’re lucky that i have bad allergies,” she said with a little laugh, then offered it to the hayden with a tight-lipped smile. “you sure you’re okay? i mean, i can… go, i guess, if you want me to,” she muttered, though she wasn’t sure what else she was supposed to do.
her eyes traveled to the kleenexes, and if she hadn’t been dripping blood from her nose, she would’ve shown a smile. “thank you, really,” she spoke before bringing the kleenex over her nose and taking a deep breath. “you don’t have to go. i thought liam was coming back, but... he must’ve gotten caught up. thank you.. again,” she muttered, continuing to hold the kleenex against her nose.
‘ i don’t have any other choice but to. ’ but she’s managed to strike a nerve and theo’s not sure what to do with it. most of the time he can – or he thinks he can trust himself – and yet there’s a darkness inside of him that theo’s not always sure is completely under his own control. there’s a small part of him that wants to let hayden in, but knows she’s only trying to bring him over to her side. the chimera’s much too fucked for that. all he wanted was to be a REAL werewolf, and he couldn’t even have that. ‘ so what? i have you. what exactly are you gonna do for me? ’
❛ i just think you’d be a lot better off if you didn’t push EVERY single person away. do you ever think about that? what your life would be like if you didn’t kill josh or tracy or ---- ❜ push her away; but she wouldn’t say that out loud. she didn’t want this to be about her what other people got worse from him. ❛ you don’t HAVE me, theo. i’m no longer part of your pack. i’m with SCOTT now. maybe --- maybe it’s time for you to make nice with them. unless you really think you’re fine on your own and expect to be able to build from the ground up AGAIN. you know, after that was SO successful last time. ❜
