capricoño

your fave astrology bloggers who don't actually know shit about the zodiac (or do we?) // , enfp, slytherin, ☼ in pisces, ☾ in libra, scorpio ↑ // , enfp, hufflepuff, ☼ in leo, ☾ in virgo, sagittarius ↑

[astro-limbed-deactivated2020112]

The signs as types of artist

Aries: The Musician

Taurus: The Dancer

Gemini: The Photographer

Cancer: The Baker

  Leo: The Model

Virgo: The Make-Up Artist

Libra: The Jeweller

Scorpio: The Actor

Sagittarius: The Writer

Capricorn: The Architect

Aquarius: Fashion Designer

Pisces: The Painter

[chaostrology]

the signs as van gogh quotes

aries: “I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.”

taurus: “There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.”

gemini: “Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.”

cancer: “If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere.”

leo: “Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. Then life seems almost enchanted after all.”

virgo: “I would rather die of passion than of boredom.”

libra: “Normality is a paved road: It’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it.”

scorpio: “I put my heart and soul into my work, and I have lost my mind in the process.”

sagittarius: “I dream my painting and I paint my dream.”

capricorn: “What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”

aquarius: “Art is to console those who are broken by life.”

pisces: “I don’t know anything with certainty, but seeing the stars makes me dream.”

[capricono]

Signs as American laws

Aries: It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. (Nevada)

Taurus: It is forbidden to push a moose out of a plane in motion. (Alaska)

Gemini: Eating in a place that is on fire is forbidden. (Chicago, Illinois)

Cancer: It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license. (California)

Leo: You're not allowed to break more than three dishes a day, or chip the edge off more than four cups and/or saucers. (Florida)

Virgo: Everyone must take a bath at least once a year. (Kentucky)

Libra: Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. (Idaho)

Scorpio: A father cannot frighten his daughter's boyfriend with a gun. (Wichita, Kansas)

Sagittarius: Rats are forbidden from leaving the ships docked in Tampa Bay. (Florida)

Capricorn: It's illegal to mispronounce the name of the state (Arkansas)

Aquarius: A dead person cannot be required to serve on a jury. (Oregon)

Pisces: It is illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water. (California)

[capricono]

The signs as “The Chosen One”

Aries: Taichi Yagami - Digimon (loves being the leader; competitive; proud; very loyal to his friends; loses control relatively easily; doesn’t like showing feelings or weaknesses to others; loves having fun; if he gets angry he will go on a literal rampage)

Taurus: Sam Winchester - Supernatural (has serious aspirations in life; rational and sensible; refuses to be what they want him to be; stubborn sometimes; scared of not following the rules; very important piece of any group)

Gemini: Anakin Skywalker - Star Wars (loves having fun; very strong beliefs; hates being tied up (and sand); can sometimes hurt his beloved ones if he loses control; can go from laughing to being in pain easily; good intentions, but his ways are not always the best; loves strongly, also hates strongly)

Cancer: Lucy Pevensie - Chronicles of Narnia series (loves so deeply; sensitive; people don’t trust her because she doesn’t seem rational - they’ll have to apologise eventually; can suffer a lot because of her feelings, but someone will definitely help her overcome her pain; sometimes wants to become someone she is not, though she is very important to others just the way she is)

Leo: Harry Potter - Harry Potter series (might fight you but will come back for you if you need it; can’t deal with unfairness; people put a lot of trust in him; can find himself overwhelmed by a situation, but will eventually overcome it; great willpower; essential for those around him; can’t put up with people underestimating him)

Virgo: Frodo Baggins - The Lord Of The Rings series (strict sense of morality; may want adventure, but eventually realises he misses routine and home; responsibility comes first for him; fears failure; constantly working on himself and trying to resist temptation; always wants to help if he can)

Libra: Naruto Uzumaki - Naruto/Naruto Shippuden (needs others’ validation; if you underestimate him, you’ll regret it; so sincere and pure; having him as a friend means lots of fun; has some serious endurance; has a very deep sense of justice)

Scorpio: Jake Sully - Avatar (his jokes and pranks can sound cruel or rough; loves sarcasm; looks like he doesn’t care about others, but actually cares a lot; will defend what he loves with tooth and nail; has an enormous heart, but anger sometimes takes control of him; impressive ability for starting anew and regenerating himself; not scared at all of the unknown)

Sagittarius: Percy Jackson - Percy Jackson series (eloquent; adventurous; strong ideals that he will protect with - literally - a sword in his hands; strong sense of family and friendship; leader by nature; will fight you, and will probably be rude if you make him angry)

Capricorn: Lightning Farron - Final Fantasy XIII series (knows exactly what she wants, and will do everything to get it; hates chaos and loves order; follows the rules, unless the rules block her way to her goal; won’t forgive those who hurt her beloved ones; has very deep feelings, but thinks showing them will make her weak)

Aquarius: Sora - Kingdom Hearts series (literally will go to the end of the world for a friend; never loses his smile; brave; strong heart; always the centre of attention; makes jokes in unexpected moments; always sees the bright side of everything)

Pisces: Aang - The Last Airbender (naïve; a lot more powerful than he seems; doesn’t know what the future holds for him, but knows it’s something big; sensitive but not weak; sympathetic; brings peace to the ones around him; can bring his enemies to his side with his sweetness alone)

*some of the characters are not placed because of their official birthday, but because of what we thought would fit them better*

[capricono]

the signs as twenty one pilots lyrics

aries: I don’t want your way, I want mine. I’m dying and I’m trying, but believe me, I’m fine

taurus: I know who I truly am, I truly do have a chance, tomorrow I’ll switch the beat, to avoid yesterday’s dance

gemini: I’ve got two faces; blurry’s the one I’m not

cancer: listen, I know, this one’s a contradiction because of how happy it sounds, but the lyrics are so down

leo: I don’t wanna be heard, I want to be listened to 

virgo: you don’t know my brain the way you know my name; you don’t know my heart the way you know my face 

libra: I’m trying, I’m trying to sleep, but I can’t, but I can’t, when you all have guns for hands

scorpio: I know my soul’s freezing, hell’s hot for good reason

sagittarius: domingo en fuego, I think I lost my halo

capricorn:  I hate this car that I’m driving, there’s no hiding for me, I’m forced to deal with what I feel, there is no distraction to mask what is real

aquarius: you fell asleep in my car, I drove the whole time, but that’s okay I’ll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine

pisces: I wasn’t raised in the hood, but I know a thing or two about pain and darkness

[capricono]

the signs as Orange things

Sunset: Leo, Pisces

Peaches: Taurus, Libra

Monarch butterfly: Cancer, Sagittarius

Autumn leaves: Virgo, Aquarius

Doritos: Gemini, Scorpio

Pumpkin patch: Aries, Capricorn

[capricono]

The signs as P!ATD lyrics

  Aries: “It’s better to burn than to fade away. It’s better to leave than be replaced”  

  Taurus: “There’s nothing wrong in just the taste of what you’ve paid for”

  Gemini: “You’ve got ’em wrapped around your finger, watch ’em fall down. There’s something beautiful and tragic in the fall out”

  Cancer: “Stay for as long as you have time, so the mess that we’ll become leaves something to talk about”

  Leo: “And when you think of me, am I the best you’ve ever had? Share one more drink with me, smile even though you’re sad”

  Virgo: “No, it’s much better to face this kind of things with a sense of poise and rationality”

  Libra: “I’m the light blinking at the end of the road, blink back to let me know”

  Scorpio: “I got so sick of being on my own, now the devil won’t leave me alone. It’s almost like I found a friend who’s in it for the bitter end”

  Sagittarius: “’Cause these words are knives and often leave scars. The fear of falling apart. And truth be told, I never was yours”

  Capricorn: “So close I can taste it, I see what’s mine and take it (finders keepers, losers weepers)” 

  Aquarius: “Stop there, and let me correct it. I wanna live a life from a new perspective”

  Pisces: “Other boys you may have dated serrated your heart with a slice, but the cut of your love never hurts, baby, it’s a sweet butterknife”

[capricono]

Signs as Idioms

Aries: ❝Eager Beaver❞ — a person who is keen, hardworking and enthusiastic with an overwhelming amount of energy, sometimes considered overzealous.

Taurus: ❝Old Fogey❞ — a person who is excessively conservative or old-fashioned person, unadventurous and who resists change.

Gemini: ❝Alter Ego❞ — a person's very close who is very like yourself; person's 'other self'; secondary or alternative personality.

Cancer: ❝Wallflower❞ — a person who is a type of an introvert that can be very shy, chooses or feels the need to blend in and remain silent.

Leo: ❝Dark Horse❞ — a person (in an competition or ranking) that looks nothing out of ordinary or weak but who unexpectedly wins or succeeds.

Virgo: ❝Tough Cookie❞ — a person who is a tough cookie is one who is strong willed and will do what is necessary to achieve what they want.

Libra: ❝Social Butterfly❞ — person who is friendly with everyone, flitting from person to person; an extroverted person who loves to socialize.

Scorpio: ❝Rough Diamond❞ —a person who is generally kinder and more pleasant than they seem to be from their appearance and manner.

Sagittarius: ❝Rolling Stone❞ — a person who is always moving, with no roots in one place or another, avoid responsibilities and cares.

Capricorn: ❝Devil's Advocate❞ — a person who expresses a contentious opinion in order to provoke debate or test the strength of the opposing arguments.

Aquarius: ❝Wild Card❞ — a person or thing whose unpredictable or whose qualities and effects to certain matters are uncertain.

Pisces: ❝Daydreamer❞ — a person who is stuck or decides to stay in their own mental fantasies and spends their day ignoring everything around them.

[capricono]

the signs as quotes from the foxhole court series

aries: “fight because you don’t know how to die quietly. win because you don’t know how to lose.”

taurus: “trying to remember fear, or trying to remember how to feel anything at all?”

gemini: “oh neil, unpredictable as he is unreal.”

cancer: “who said ‘please’ that made you hate the word so much?” “I did.”

leo: “let him be king, most coveted, most protected. […] whatever. me? I’m going to be the deadliest piece on the board.” “queen.”

virgo: “it sounded like a dream; it tasted like damnation.”

libra: “it’s not the world that’s cruel, it’s the people in it.”

scorpio: “honesty suited andrew because he was an instigator at heart and his opinions were often unpopular.”

sagittarius: “hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

capricorn: “I am a bad person trying very hard to be a good person.”

aquarius: “remember this feeling. this is the moment you stop being the rabbit.”

pisces: “I’m not a hallucination.” “you are a pipe dream.“

[capricono]

the signs as figures of speech

aries: non sequitur (statement that bears no relationship to the context preceding, often to the point of being humorous or confusing)

taurus: rhetorical question (asking a question not for the sake of getting an answer but with the intention of asserting something)

gemini: oxymoron (juxtaposing of elements that appear to be contradictory) 

cancer: euphemism (substitution of a less offensive or more agreeable term for another)

leo: hyperbole  (use of exaggerated terms for emphasis)

virgo: pleonasm (use of more words than are needed to express meaning)

libra: parrhesia (speaking openly or boldly, in a situation where it is unexpected)

scorpio: irony (use of a word in a way that conveys a meaning opposite to its usual meaning)

sagittarius:  sesquipedalianism (use of long and obscure words)

capricorn: synchises (words are intentionally scattered to create bewilderment)

aquarius: prosopopoeia (attributing or applying human qualities to inanimate objects, animals, or natural phenomena)

pisces: paraprosdokian (phrase in which the latter part is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader to reframe or reinterpret the first part)

[astropelican-deactivated2015062]

The signs as Oscar Wilde quotes

Aries : The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. I can resist everything but temptation.

Taurus : I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Gemini : Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

Cancer : Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.

Leo : There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Virgo : I have nothing to declare except my genius.

Libra : It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

Scorpio : You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit.

Sagittarius : I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

Capricorn : Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.

Aquarius : The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.

Pisces : A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

[capricono]

the signs as characters from x-men: apocalypse

aries: logan / wolverine 

taurus: hank mccoy / beast

gemini: erik lehnsherr / magneto

cancer:  kurt wagner / nightcrawler

leo: alex summers / havok

virgo: professor charles xavier

libra: jean grey / phoenix

scorpio: raven / mystique

sagittarius: ororo munroe / storm

capricorn: psylocke

aquarius: scott summers / cyclops

pisces:  peter maximoff / quicksilver 

[capricono]

the signs from a Leo perspective

just a quick heads-up: this is not meant to be actually accurate or hold any truth whatsoever, it’s just my own experience with the signs in real life.

aries: arieses are so fun! you guys always seem to know what to say (even if the first thing that comes to mind isn’t the most sensible thing, which, lmao) and I feel like you’re always ready for an adventure which is really cool and idk I wish I knew more arieses. I need you guys to get me out of my comfort zone more often.

taurus: every taurus I know is so composed and effortlessly elegant while being unabashedly themselves which is?????? goals???? I clearly don’t know enough tauruses so I can’t really elaborate on that one but like !!! what kind of alien people. really nice and open, too. I genuinely can’t think of anything bad to say?????????????????

gemini: not sure if I’m perpetuating the stereotype here or what, but the geminis in my life have wildly varying characteristics and I’m not actually sure they even have anything in common at all? I mean, they’re human. yep. geminis are human, what a wild concept. in all seriousness though, geminis are mostly sensible people and in my experience always get shit done when needed. you always seem to know how to get your way, even if it means pulling a few questionable strings…

cancer: cancers! you’re such good listeners and can be quite the party animals (unexpected combo!), and I feel like you guys have genuinely good intentions, but sometimes I notice you inadvertently playing the victim and making people feel bad for you, and it makes me quiiite uncomfortable. despite all that, you’re always ready to give someone a hand and I think that’s really admirable!

virgo: some of the most perfectionist people I know are virgoes. however, you’re reeeeally fun and generally trust-worthy people and it makes me feel really special when you guys open up to me. I never want to get on your bad side though! you’re hella scary when you’re angry.

libra: libras are so cool! you guys are really observant and generally open-minded, and I feel like you have a very romantic view of life. you guys are also really unpredictable which can be a bit off-putting when you randomly close off or become a bit cold, but it also makes you really interesting.

scorpio: one of my favourite signs… you have the ability to switch from incredibly nice to incredibly salty in 0.2 seconds. despite popular belief, I think you’re very good listeners and, much like cancers, you genuinely have the best intentions. you hold onto a grudge like your life depends on it though! frankly though, we all sort of look up to you guys in one way or another, and maybe it’s because you take nobody’s shit, but everywhere you go people seem to respect you.

sagittarius: awww all my mum-friends are sagittarius! you guys are so self-reliant and strong and it’s so inspiring. you have a really sharp wit which makes you hella fun; on the other hand, you tend to take it out on others when you’re sad or mad, and since you’re so quick and sarcastic you can easily hurt people’s feelings. you’re usually quite fair though, so it all evens out nicely in the end.

capricorn: you’re really confusing to me because it always seems like you have your life so well put together and that’s??? weird. idk. you guys are like, natural leaders, and I really like that about you. however, I feel like you’re very quick to snap a label on people, which sucks, but you’re usually nice to have around and most of you guys are actually hilariously funny, so there’s that.

aquarius: you know those cliché films that have that popular main character be not only popular AND pretty but also nice and intelligent and generally… lovely?? that’s pretty much every aquarius I know irl. not at all the distant cold-hearted fuckers the stereotype makes you out to be, imo.

pisces: another one of my faves, if not my actual fave… you guys are so empathic and intuitive, it’s actually sorta creepy? you always know, you know? anyway! you’re all creative in your own different ways, have really great senses of humour and you all make for really good company, but please for the love of god STOP MAKING ME MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOU. 

[capricono]

The signs from a Pisces’ POV

Blah blah blah this is just my experience blah blah totally subjective blah blah I don’t mean to offend anyone blah blah blah any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental

Aries: When it comes to personality, I think you’re one of the most complex signs out there. You’re so competitive you can sometimes scare off a lil fishy like me! Plus, it sometimes seems like it’s hard for you to open up to others for some reason, and you keep way too strictly to the whole ‘forgive but don’t forget’ thing. Pride is your worst sin, and loyalty to your loved ones your best virtue… Aries is definitely one of the most important and influential signs in my life.

Taurus:  I feel like you’re really loyal to your own principles. That’s great, but it has a downside - it takes forever, and I mean freaking forever, to get you to concede that you’re wrong. You don’t like thinking about things too deeply; for you, what you see is what you get, and you act accordingly. You’re so chill though, most of the times!

Gemini: Whoa, Gemini… probably the most complex sign for me. My experience with Geminis is truly confusing… I’m sorry to use the cliché but I feel like you do have a changing personality, though it might be more appropriate to say you’re very selective when it comes to behaving one way or another, depending on who you’re with. The Geminis I’ve known have always been shameless leaders in their groups but, strangely, half of the times they have been like the most positive people ever and the other half, the most negative.

Cancer: I tend to understand Cancers very well. I feel like we have a lot in common, though our differences are quite obvious. The way you lose your temper very easily due to sentimental crap, pulling people into your business, like a particularly nauseating emotional rollercoaster, sometimes can be annoying. However, when you’re in a good mood we have a really special connection. I feel like we make a great duo!

Leo: Leo is a very special sign for me, quite necessary because you can give me that initiative that I lack sometimes…. you’re that last small push that makes all the difference. You have a very special ability: you’re the perfect referees! You always seem to occupy the middle ground, capable of understanding every side, and I feel that’s the one virtue that Leo and Pisces have in common: empathy. I’m going to go against the cliche this time though: I don’t think you like attention just because, but what you really need is for your good ideas to be appreciated. Leo for president!

Virgo: One of the most rigid signs in my opinion. It’s so hard for me to follow because you seem so serious at first, but your big heart always end up showing! I think your worst trait is the fact that you’re so adamant on following rules. You’re really kind and seriously funny when you’re feeling it, but omg I don’t want to find myself arguing with a Virgo ever again! You and Taurus are alike in the sense that it is really hard to get you to abandon your previous ideas… or maybe my persuasion skills are just non-existent!

Libra: The most balanced sign! Tolerant and understanding with people, though sometimes quite brusque. You’re very sincere and kind, the life of the party a lot of the times. However, we share our worst trait: we can’t make a decision to save our lives, especially the important kind. You’re scared to be wrong, but at the same time, you like the risk! It’s weird, but it’s cool.

Scorpio: You know that one bad guy in a film that makes you question whether they’re even bad in the first place? Well that’s Scorpio for me. You’re very funny and eloquent and being around you equals a good time. You better not cross a Scorpio though, because if Aries doesn’t forget, you guys don’t rest until you’ve got your revenge. Irony is your speciality, and you can get very cocky… I pity the fool who displeases you!

Sagittarius: We are two sides of the same coin. Sagittarius is the fire par excellence, whereas Pisces is the water par excellence; you’re the yang to my yin, the storm to my calm. You have some very strong ideals, and you can sometimes get way too aggressive defending them… You’re so intimidating at first glance, but paradoxically you’re very sensitive and hurting your feelings is a lot easier than it may seem! In fact, you sometimes get offended at (seemingly) random, though it is quite easy for you to recompose yourselves if one knows how to cheer you up!

Capricorn: You’re really fun and eloquent, but you have a very particular way of perceiving reality that makes you, I’m afraid, a little selfish. It’s hard for you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and you have quite the rigid personality: you’re honestly some of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met. However, as long as there’s not a debating session in sight, I do have a good time with you! No offence though, but you truly are frustrating sometimes.

Aquarius: Ah, Aquarius… I have you so irrationally romanticised, Aquarius. You’re the good friends, the ones that are ALWAYS ready to lend you a hand, or a sympathetic ear. I feel like there will never be enough Aquariuses in my life… Don’t think you won’t be getting scolded here, though! The thing is, you usually shine on your own because of your special qualities, but you tend to overdo it sometimes. And you don’t like being wrong, as you’re too used to people praising you (as I was doing before) and telling you how special you are.