Cosmic Misunderstandings. @captain-chuwy - Tumblr Blog

my issue with mike flanagan's shows is that when i finish them i'll have Thoughts™ and i won't stop having Thoughts™ and i won't be able to sleep, 'cause i'm having too many Thoughts™ and i also need to rewatch every single piece of work he has done. that fucking genius.

luneloving

social anxiety causes + remedies i've found (as a long term sufferer of anxiety)

1. caring what other people think of you (this one is pretty obvious)

due to low self esteem and a sense of disconnection/alienation from others. you see yourself as somehow different from them and therefore they will have nothing good to say or think about you. what i've found and many people have found to help this is to realize that everyone is too busy worrying about themselves to judge others or to notice every little nuance about them. you are also guilty of this. when you're speaking to someone you are thinking mostly about yourself and how you're probably so embarrassing and annoying, you didn't notice that they accidentally used the wrong word or that they looked tired today.

2. constantly feeling the urge to mediate and make other people comfortable, often without realizing

i notice this a lot in myself and others. its common in abuse victims but it can also stem from other things as well. what has helped me is realizing that i, too, exist in this interaction. i do not live to serve others. social interactions are a two way street, and you should not be doing all of the labour. focus on saying honestly what you want to say, rather than what you think they want you to say. this is extremely difficult to implement when you are so used to attending to other's every whim socially, but i promise, letting this go is going to free you. allow yourself the right to be oblivious, carefree, and selfish. you do not owe anyone on this earth anything except basic kindness and respect.

3. a sense of being out of control when around others

this i mostly see in abuse victims (myself included). in my experience, this innate distrust of others actually stems from not trusting yourself. you do not trust yourself to protect yourself or to set proper boundaries. you feel like everything is happening TO you and you have no control over it, when in actuality you do. i get anxiety when im in groups of people because i fear what they're going to ask me to do (and my brain likes to call it "what they'll MAKE me do"). even worse? they whip out some sort of drug or cigarettes or alcohol. what if they ask me if i want some and i can't say no? what if they decide to do something that i don't want to do? what if i start having a panic attack and no one cares about getting me home? the solution to all of these is to fight for myself. these fears actually, when i look closely, stem from not foreseeing my ability to say no. when in actuality, i can say, "no thank you, I don't feel comfortable doing drugs/drinking/smoking", i can say, "no thanks, I don't want to do that", and i can say, "i am having a panic attack and I need to get home RIGHT now", in my biggest, most robust voice. not quietly, not a little nudge to the person im next to followed by a subtle suggestion to be easily ignored. a loud, clear, demand. because i deserve to be listened to. because i deserve to be heard and respected.

i am not a therapist nor am i fully recovered. i am not perfect and i don't have all the answers as no one does, but this is what ive found in my life of having anxiety, and i truly hope it may help someone. feel free to add to this! and i would love to hear a mental health professional's thoughts on this too.

#mental health #social anxiety #life tips

flowerais-deactivated20211031

Things to forgive yourself for

procrastinating

repeating habits you’ve wanted to change

relapsing

going back to square one

not thinking before acting or speaking

doing negative things when you didn’t know better

waking up later than you planned

not doing everything you scheduled

anything you did in the past

You’re only human. You made mistakes, but you’re a different person now. The endless cycle of feeling guilty can make things worse. It’s unfair to be so hard on yourself. Do your best to be a better person from it, and give yourself a chance to start again.

adoring-suggestion

When your dad tries to guilt trip you into visiting him: “well I guess I’ll just spend the weekend all by myself...”

You say “glad to know we’re on the same page.” Slowly, he will have to adapt to just outright telling you what he thinks instead of playing mind games.

When your friend tries to hint that they’re mad at you without saying anything: “Oh, I’m fine, clearly you don’t need to worry about me,”

You say: “I’m glad you’re doing well. Call me if you want to talk, though!” Soon enough, they will accept that they can’t be passive aggressive with you.

When your boyfriend says: “All your friends are great, I really love *insert male friend* especially.”

You say: “I’m so glad you like my friends! I should invite them back soon.” He needs to understand that if he has a problem with your friends, he needs to just voice his concerns instead of being sarcastic and accusatory.

As someone who has lived through several toxic relationships and has an abusive father, I think one of the most important manipulation tools a toxic person has is excessive subtext and hidden meanings in their conversation. It hides all of the actual fighting from the eyes of onlookers while still hurting you, which is scary and makes you feel like you’re making it all up. Don’t put up with this bs. Make them stop hiding.

Make. Them. Say. What. They. Mean.

#This is what I need to practice this year #mental wellness #Less mind games and more directness

luneloving

loving your body ≠ thinking your body is beautiful. you do not need to find your body attractive in order to love and respect it. true self love is no longer basing your self worth off of how well you fit into the beauty standards.

#body positivity #Helpful info while I'm working on myself

micro-usb-deactivated20230625

jb-blunk

in this terrifying world you continuously have the power to offer someone else a little relief . why would you withhold that. do you remember what a little relief feels like? it feels like a lot

testing-stormneko

excuse me? are you suggesting i frolic directly into someone's emotional space and assume what brings them relief, potentially causing more stress? are you encouraging people to reach past their own boundaries to help, increasing net suffering if it costs more than the other gains? surely not; that would be advocating for emotional self-harm.

jb-blunk

this is a post about the woman who waived my late fee at the bank .

testing-stormneko

good for you, good for her, the wording on the initial post feels closer to blaming people who don't reach out than celebrating those who do by a large enough margin that i feel the need to hit back

jb-blunk

you are a tar pit

meangirlnurse

ladyinsertnamehere

I know I’ve reblogged this already today but I like. this point

I'm late as hell to this party, but after recently starting Fallout: New Vegas. I have fallen under its charms and I feel like I wanna actually draw again 😅

#text post #God am I late to things. 13 years in the making

huffylemon

thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001

HELL WORLD OH MY GOD

postmarxed-deactivated20190429

FBI is really just straight up developing Trojan horse apps now

postmarxed-deactivated20190429

anisetheapothecary

The people in the comments are amazing, like, half of them are saying “aren’t these the normal permissions for an fitness app?” And the answer is yes. Of course they are. Your regular fitness app is a takes a ton of data on you in order to function, and that data may or may not be stored with the company for a period of time.

But here’s the thing, when the FBI needs location data on someone, they need a WARRANT to get that information from that company, or that company’s cooperation. Back in the early 2000s, there were a number of companies that simply handed over data to letter agencies like the NSA or FBI, and they got roasted for it by their customers. Don’t fool yourself, the only reason why backdoors weren’t coded into your phones by companies like Apple is because they did the math and realized that the cost of cooperating and alienating their customer base was too high, not because these companies have ethics.

So we live in a climate where companies are promising users security and privacy, and when they don’t it’s a scandal that loses them customers and money. They aren’t playing nice with the FBI, so what is the FBI to do? Easy. Circumvent silicon valley.

There is exactly zero reason for the FBI, as an organization, to make entertainment apps. Educational is maybe in line with past practices, but even when they did stuff like that in the 90s, we called it out for the propaganda it was. This app is absolutely a trojan horse. This is so they can get the data you would normally give to a 3rd party company without a warrant.

Please, ffs, learn internet history. Go take a look at the EFF website and archives. Look up the patriot act and the AT&T scandal with the NSA from around 2004. Lots of people on here were barely children pre 9/11, but you can’t possibly understand surveillance and internet policing until you understand what happened to society and privacy from 2001-2010