YOU ARE THE REASON
The Bowery Presents

@theartofmadeline
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Discoholic 🪩

shark vs the universe

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Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
h

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins

gracie abrams
Sade Olutola
Show & Tell
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
Keni

seen from United States

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@captain-ofmusic
charge yalls vibrators this storm looks BAD
tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it
this is one of my favorite bits about tumblr
the users seem to actually prefer text posts to anything else, and treat it as a chore to play a video especially with sound
He was always so eloquently spoken
kitty car 🐱
soundonsoundonsoundon!!!!!!!
reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead
I love when fanfic authors are freakishly unhinged. "Yes, hello, I am here to write a heart wrenching story about relationships and mortality. My medium is Ducktales (2017)"
ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:
1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)
2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:
3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."
4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"
5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*
okay okay there's more
6. Elderly surgeon to the anaesthetist who is gossipping with their reg: "I need you to pretend you're in church." [weirdest way to ask people to be quiet, but whatevs]
Anaethetist's new reg with big, horrified eyes: "You mean we should start praying???"
7. Panicking rad tech: "Uhhhh my machine broke. I need to jump on this part and kick it, but I am not paid enough if I break it. Can you - "
Surgeon, casual as: "Yeah, sure."
:violently beats up the C-arm until it starts pumping out those sweet, sweet x-rays:
8. ODP to theatre assistant: "Saw the new tasche earlier. Suits you."
Theatre assistant: "Thanks! it grew on me :)"
Surgeon, pleadingly, within accidental snipping distance of the patient's spinal cord: "Guys, do NOT make me laugh."
OH MY GOD I FORGOT -
9. Surgeon using the electrocauter, leaning over the incision and inhaling deeply: mmmmm, that smell always gets me hungry. I'm having barbeque tonight.
New med student: 👀
and the classique:
Spinal surgeon: hey, that scoli's getting bad. want me to fix it for ya?
Me: I mean. There's a pretty long wait list
Spinal surgeon: yeah but I could do it tonight
Me: that would be very illegal, Jeff
Spinal surgeon: only if they catch me
“I’ll just rest my eyes” is the biggest lie you’re going straight to snorkmimimi land
“I’m going to sleep” is the biggest lie I’m going to stare at my ceiling for the next three hours
thank god for american public transit !!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
You get on the bus and then everyone does the Flintstones thing
So I binged the entirety of How To Build a Sex Room last night and this one scene just cracked me up
The designer's at a western leather/tack store looking for supplies to make a rustic-style sex swing and turns to one of the store employees for advice, which initially goes about as amusingly as you would expect
So then she pulls up some pictures to give him an idea of what she needs
And he's Immediately like
The professional disgust, I'm living