Captain 3 is the funniest Splatoon character actually
Be some kid on the street
You're 14
Get pressured into joining the army by an old man??
Start going by Agent 3. Which is not a name
Never speak a word (you're canonically too shy)
You just start blasting??
Save the world and liberate an entire race of people somehow???
The entire rest of the series can only happen because you did this
Almost kill the protagonist of Octo Expansion (she is in love with you now)
Turn 16
Become a DJ as a hobby??
Your DJ name is DJ Sango. Sango is just "number 3" in Japanese. Still not a real name
Start taking yourself really seriously
Start wearing a cape
Get knocked unconscious multiple times
Get mind controlled???
It's fine you got better
Turn 21. The old man quits and puts you in charge of the army???
You inherit his hobo outfit. Why are you actually wearing it
Start going by Captain (still not a name)
Still never speak (a girl speaks for you) (she's a famous singer and older than you, why are you making her do this)
Do one (1) cool thing and just sit on your ass the whole rest of the game
Say booyah once
My Captain, Arledge did have most of these things, except for the DJ part, and Arledge is a boy. Arledge usually rarely speaks to me but he mostly speaks to Faze, who is Agent 8
Uh, Spike/Chain, I am a DJ
