the remains of a writer lie here

22 • ancient mind in a new body • she/her bangalore/los angeles • one word away from a breakdown at all times

[oozins]

NOT EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE SOMETHING ELSE

[kazieka]

was outside earlier and a bird Came Up, squatted down, fluttered it’s wings at me and opened its mouth like a hatchling begging for food (it was a grown female) so I went and checked the seed cube in the feeder and the thing was completely covered in mold. this is one of the weirdest things that’s ever happened to me. how did she know im the one in charge of the birdseed. How Did She Know To Pantomime Hunger At Me. Hello.

[kazieka]

i have spent my afternoon confusedly getting dressed, driving to the store, purchasing a new seed block, driving home, washing the cage, and getting the feeder set back up. i don’t take this much care for my Own nutrition. ive been bullied into a grocery store run by a tufted titmouse. i feel so loved

[canthaveshitingotham-crucified]

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

[canthaveshitingotham-crucified]

you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling

[brenna]

[teaboot]

[wheresmyphonemp3]

[inthefallofasparrow]

[weaselle]

these exchanges and this fiddling about for the collective to appreciate in passing is, to me, true artistic spirit. I don't know what the past was truly like to live, but in my heart i know that humans have always been... like this

[lelif]

on nostalgia

the handmaids tale, margaret atwood// @firstfullmoon // @stigmatawife // @jb-blunk // forever winter, taylor swift// @an-attempt-at-living // the memory of a memory, katie maria // erica jong // secrets from a girl whos seen it all, lorde; poster by mlgrsdesign// ? // @n1ntendos // @fairycosmos // @inanotherunivrse //@robertszombie // @notbigthief

[mjalti]

life goes something like this: you meet the best and the worst of yourself in other people. you come to terms that you are the universe experiencing itself. you get overwhelmed at 3 am being so close to seeing through the veil. you get what you give. and then, the next morning, you do it all over again, all over again, all over again.

[forfuckssakejim]

Yeah quiet quitting is great and all but have you tried chaotic working?

Like. I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy shit.

When WIC (Women, infants, and children voucher program to help low income mothers/families with children) people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were. Before the cards they had to tell us upfront they were WIC and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get (it was awful some times. Like. 2 gallons of milk. $4 worth of vegetables etc etc). They’d always have items hanging back, waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt.

I began to place the fruits/vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like 1/2lbs of grapes read as like .28lbs or something. Then act shocked when I said that they still had X amount of lbs left. They got all their fruit and vegetables.

I think it started to kinda? Catch on to the women? Because I would have the same moms in my line month after month. And even after they switched to the cards (they worked like food stamp cards?) I’d still do the same thing. They were able to get more produce for whatever shitty max amount Indiana gave them.

Anyways. Be chaotic. It’s more fun that way.

[bshmatthews]

[nevershootamockingbird]

[ Image Description from Alt Text: from iww.org:

"Good Work" Strikes

One of the biggest problems for service industry workers is that many forms of direct action, such as Slowdowns, end up hurting the consumer (most of them also members of the working class) more than the boss. One way around this is to provide better or cheaper service -- at the boss' expense, of course.

Workers at Mercy Hospital in France, who were afraid that patients would go untreated if they went on strike, instead refused to file the billing slips for drugs, lab tests, treatments, and therapy. As a result, the patients got better care (since time was being spent caring for them instead of doing paperwork), for free. The hospital's income was cut in half, and panic-stricken administrators gave in to all of the workers' demands after three days.

In 1968, Lisbon bus and train workers gave free rides to all passengers to protest a denial of wage increases. Conductors and drivers arrived for work as usual, but the conductors did not pick up their money satchels. Needless to say, public support was solidly behind these take-no-fare strikers.

In New York City, I.W.W. restaurant workers, after losing a strike, won some of their demands by heeding the advice of I.W.W. organizers to "pile up the plates, give 'em double helpings, and figure the checks on the low side." / End ID ]

[tarrevizsla]

i hate pessimistic takes on human nature so much

[tarrevizsla]

saying humans are inherently bad just excuses you from doing the work to improve yourself and the world around you. saying humans are inherently selfish means there's no reason to even try to make things better. and for some reason people think these are radical takes, that they're being smart or philosophical by saying humanity is doomed - these are not new takes. you're just catholic.

[tarrevizsla]

you have to believe that people are inherently good. you have to. why have hearts if not to love, hands if not to hold, minds if not to dream. you can't ignore love. there's some good in this world, mr frodo, and it's worth fighting for.

[carcassofapoet]

sometimes having OCD feels like having a false memory of the Monkey’s Paw sit deep in your chest cavity and clutch at your heart every time you don’t act on a compulsion because what if what if what if what if

[intactics-deactivated20211231]

I am asking you to endure it.

[intactics-deactivated20211231]

a lot of Gregory Berrycones in the notes missing the reference to my twelve note magnum opus from several hours prior in which the narrator silently begs an entity that isn't really God for death and the entity says no

[intactics-deactivated20211231]

the narrator is operating under the constraint that they can only use words "god" has already spoken, "god" is aware of this and says the 'Time flies' sentence on purpose in order to give the narrator the pieces they need to voice their complaint; "god" has constant access to the narrator's thoughts, and answers them as though they're having a conversation between equals, but clearly absolutely dictates the terms under which the narrator can speak. it becomes obvious as the scene continues that the narrator is silently screaming and that the request being denied may be a request for death, but is at minimum a request for some acute suffering to be stopped

this could be an interaction between a normal person and an evil telepath with some mind control ability pretending to be the voice of a benevolent god. or it could work as a demon lord speaking to a soul they've trapped in a mirror and keep at their side. or it could be an actual god trying to calm down their only believer because they're trapped in the same prison. the concept amused me so kindly forgive the ugliness of the execution

[zindabad]

you are asking me to endure it

[carcassofapoet]

In the middle of telling you that I have depression,

and I like sour fruits so much that I’d rather

have no fruit than have sweet fruit,

and I sometimes peel back

old bruise wounds in search

of fresh blood,

what if I tell you that I am fine?

I am fine. What if I lied to you here in the middle of this page?

Do you think you can make out the lies

even when I underline it in red

and bleed all over my words

to make you understand?

Excerpt from Theme for English B after Langston Hughes

by Sreenidhi B., dated 17th May 2021

[smakkabagms]

“We are eternal travelers of ourselves, and the only landscape that exists is what we are. We possess nothing, because we do not even possess ourselves. We have nothing because we are nothing. What hands will I reach out to what universe? The universe is not mine: it is me.”

— Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

[memoryslandscape-deactivated202]

(Penguin Classics, 2002)

[carcassofapoet]

The wind whisperers have nothing on me, I am skilled in silent, invisible grief.

- Sreenidhi, Untitled 24/11/21

[carcassofapoet]

Do I hold time as the mastermind behind the theft of my memory or do I grieve the lesser days I now have to make more?

- Sreenidhi B., Untitled 11/8/21

[carcassofapoet]

In 2016 you were in high school trying to make yourself look cool in front of your friends and hopefully not fail Physics. But in 2016, someone graduated from college straight into their dream job, and found they hated it and were left with pieces of their past desires they had no idea how to reshape. In 2016, someone’s mother passed away and they were relieved and not sad, and that confused them more than any of the complex figures they faced at work everyday. In 2016, someone fell out of love with life and tried their best to get through to the New Year’s and no one knew that they were trying not to disappear into thin air. In 2016, your Physics grades were one singular point in time in a year that held so many storylines, doesn’t it take your breath away that time is such a simultaneous occurrence and yet you can hardly conceive and never experience more than the 24 hours of your day everyday.

[schuylerpeck]

everything is tender and sweet and painful and devastating today why did I wake up a fragile paper crane

[carcassofapoet]

we reach out more often when sad to the ones we’ve grown apart from, because we turn to memory during grief.

- Sreenidhi, Untitled 27/11/20

[carcassofapoet]

sometimes writing causes my paper cuts, sometimes it bandages my bleeding wounds; but red is a constant shade in my pages.

- Sreenidhi, Untitled 5/4/21