Le.Corsie

Alter from *Locked*, go on "cornerbagdeidiots" to see some facts about me and my first posts.

[care55medown]

Hi, I'm Corsie.

Kinda forced to use a nickname instead of my actual name but I'll deal w/ it 😒

I am one of the trauma holders for the *Locked* system and I LOVE to yap about absolutely everything...

This will get me into oversharing sooner or later but I'll try my best not to I promise 🫪

I'm a big, I'm 37 'n' I'm a fictive with 2 sources. I know Haste doesn't want to share our sources on the main page but idc.

My sources are Lucifer from HH 'n' hyperrose OC made by Haste, who I started to embody in xer daydreams so now I'm an Ouroboros intro😅 but I couldn't help that I relate to the guy so hard. Maybe except him being pan and having a gf, since I'm HEAVILY gay. The only exceptions I make are in-system.

Oh I also really love punk aestethics and punk in general, which plays perfectly into me being a guitarist.

PS. Forgot to add, ENDOS ARE WELCOME HERE

[angellic-collective]

Me + the demons who posesss me

[care55medown]

I am the demons who posess me

Wait what

[care55medown]

Yeah, btches I'm back on front finally

I have absolutely no idea how much time went since I fronted last but like 3 days ig?

[care55medown]

A "small" headmate appreciation post because why not.

You can drop your examples in comms if you want to, I don't mind.

I love Morte, dei's my little angel and the best protector we have. We all made mistakes especially dym being overwhelmed but dei's still here and I'm grateful. I'm grateful dei didn't went dormant despite all dym splits that I had to adopt(no it wasn't a threat I just love these lil guys too much to let em have only one parent) and despite all the misgendering I did to dym trying to learn how to use neo pronouns (I'm sorry honey 🥺).

Dei are probably the strongest one of us mentally and dei are always here to make us safe. Even recently dei started to learn how to tell smbd off, which is like, YES YOU GO QUEEN, SCARE THIS MFS OFF.

It's also a really good example for defending ourselves that Anger&Luni started to repeat, sooooo cute

I also really, really love Seraph. Even on our hardest days zin's there to get our hopes up. Zin always brightens my mood and I LOVE to hear that cute voice in the headspace he has.

Also, they both are awesome at cuddles. I don't even mean just headspace. There were many times when for example I got sad and one of them would take over one of the hands and comfort me.

I love watching Seraph draw or Morte make some DYI stuff, even sew clothes for us. I love that despite us sharing a brain we're all so unique and even tho we are connected to the same character it's in waaaay different ways. Like, I'm hh's Lu fictive, Morte's biblical Lucifer spiritive and Seraph is hh's Lu fictionkin. Cuuute hah

I wish I could actually hug em outside the headspace but it's impossible to get another body 😞

[care55medown]

Damn maybe I just needa make some positive shit. All of us have been spewing negativity at each other since last week, this ain't lookin right.

[care55medown]

Weeelll

I dug into the Ollie's k-pop obsession(which was easy since we are somewhere in between facets of each other and completely different headmates) so I have a few ideas for songs now.

Issue? Depression, what else could it be. I will probably never sing good enough to release a song on my own but we do make pretty alright experimental/edm music.

I just need to finish last single for our first ep but I get stuck whenever trying because it's a bit trauma related.

[care55medown]

I am afraid the hardest part of unlearning what your abusers taught you is learning you only need validation from yourself and the outside should be more of a bonus, like, "omg I love it but it's not completely necessary tho". This is something I've noticed all of our system deals with. Maybe except Luni who just openly put disability hashtag on one of our posts, but we don't talk about this insane guy here

(dw, they're my adopted child, I love them no matter what they do 🫶)

'nyway, this breeds what chronically online people call attention seeking. And it's kinda dangerous cuz ain't no way you'll have friends if all you do is seek their constant validation

BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT'S SHITTY THING TO GET OUT OF

Like, if you've never been in this situation, just try to imagine your whole life you are instructed to do only things you have a clear permission that they are good and the shit you actually wanted to brag about got brushed off, of course you'll gonna need some of that parental validation. But how do we do this without parents?

I genuinely have no idea, all of us are deeply insecure, or at least the ones who actually wanna be good people (looking suggestively at few alters who wanna do crimes 'n shit). I thought that since alters are supposed to help you deal w/ stuff we'll at least have one guy who can get us up about our abilities. Nah. Seraph is js good at comforting but not really erasing insecurities. Maybe we should embrace our narcissistic alters to balance it out somehow, idk.

[care55medown]

Tried drawing my bf( @thefourthaxis ) as the ballpoint master I am but gave up halfway lol

I hope dei'll like it anyway

I know I can just tell you in headspace, but I love you honey♥️

Please never change

[care55medown]

Damn

My current mood is like:

Started dissociating a bit, cuz I found another problem with my fav band's album. I already have trouble listening to my fav track from there because of the weird breathy/asmr sounds added in the background, but now it turns out that in another track vocalist sounds like my ex, man tf😭

Gen, I love these guys, but mann, that album is so sick yet it feels like it's made to scare me away from it.

[care55medown]

Low pain tolerance alters, unite.

We got fucking pimple patches, the stars are alright and work REALLY good(surprisingly). But I cannot stand the micro needle ones, I currently have one on. I know it's supposed to help with our cystal acne but it stings so fucking much damnnn it.

[care55medown]

Bruv my boyfriend's getting scary

We haven't brushed our teeth since we came back from grandma's (we don't feel safe enough to take care of our body at home) but he did, like, apparently it wasn't that bad but, nah, I'm scared of him now lol

/silly

[care55medown]

The ratio 😭

But ig it makes sense since most of our introjects are EPs or MaDD experiencers

[care55medown]

Waiting on a day we end up on r/SystemsCringe lol

I feel like stating we are introject heavy is enough, but who knows

[care55medown]

Assuming multiverse is true for my stupid post

If in some alternate universe I'm a factive I know exactly of who

[care55medown]

One weird thing I noticed on Tumblr is the number of posts with absolutely no comments, not even bots

Like, are the topics we picked so niche, is the platform dying or is it just how that works usually?

[cornerbagde]

I'm sure there's probably someone who needs to hear it

They cannot read your mind. Nobody can. You don't need to stop thinking about your emotions they didn't allow you to have, just let yourself be yourself even in your brain.

From your dear Corsie yet again 🫶

[cornerbagde]

Anybody ever has that feeling to delete all their old socials and start everything all over again?

I'm, like, the most chronically online(this is my 5th post today, I think, didn't count😭) in our system and I genuinely cringe everytime I see smth older than an hour that we made lol.

Also I genuinely make wayyy too much impulsive decisions while texting but f that we have one life ig

Plus, tbh, making new socials would make sure our abusers won't find us if we share 'nythin about them, this Tumblr being a major example.

[care55medown]

'nybody?