Title: And We Fell Like Stardust
Chapter: 1 (next chapter)
Summary: SkekMir knows she is not welcomed by the other skeksis for a reason, but can’t quite figure out why. As she focuses on gaining a place among them, she is propositioned and forced to dwell on her choices.
(Note: this fic isn't done yet; I'm mainly posting to see if it garners any interest. If not, I'll just finish it before posting it in one go on AO3; if it does, I can post once a week here before posting it on AO3.)
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Mirnah, like all Urskeks, did not sleep in the same way a lower creature would. Instead, she rested her eyes somewhere safe and quiet, and allowed her mind to settle. She was still aware of her surroundings, but also aware of her inner self. In this way, her mind and spirit rejuvenated one another through memories and songs until one of her masters called for service.
Her light-filled eyes flung open when she felt a tug from Sosu. Mirnah smiled and turned from the cushioned corner she floated within; her room was small, if comfortable, and she was out of it quickly enough. Using her light, she quickly phased from one room to the next to hone in Sosu’s energy. He was in his study, looking over various scrolls and books, frowning over something he was reading. Knowing how late it was into the night on their planet, Mirnah giggled and answered for him before he could speak.
“How much tea for tonight, Master?”
“Oh! You’re always a fast one.” Sosu smirked, not looking up from his work. “Yes, tea is needed. Very much so.”
Mirnah nodded and floated away. This time she went to the kitchens and found Ayukamaj there, with a steeping pot of tea. She sighed.
“You too? I can only handle so many crabby urskeks in the morning!”
“Oh don’t mind me! I came in for a different treat before I continued my rest.” Ayukamaj winked and handed Mirnah a small candy. It was a jelly cube dusted in powdered nectar, and daintily colored with natural flower pigment. “The tea is on me. You work hard enough, especially with Sosu getting restless again.”
“Perhaps my masters will be off on another adventure soon.” Mirnah commented as she took the tea tray. Ayukamaj shook his head.
“Not until I’ve had plenty more rest! And a full belly.” He chuckled with a pat to his stomach. It glowed a little in satisfaction, as if letting the world know how full it was. Mirnah laughed with Ayukamaj before they both floated off to their own business.
Back with Sosu, he focused on a singular scroll now: a map of a new world he had yet to explore. Mirnah eyed it carefully as she had the tray sit in the air beside them and poured him a cup. When she let go of the pot, it continued to pour gracefully before setting itself down. The cup was handed to Sosu who took it happily.
“I’ll need this. The world I’ve found is…fascinating.”
“May I see?” Mirnah asked with a smile. He had the map glide in the air to her as he drank. Sosu watched her face carefully as she studied it and he explained.
“This is Thra. My mind was projected there during one of my rests, and I swore it had to be more than just some dream. So I projected myself again, more awake this time, and I found it. There are amazing creatures there, great magic.”
Mirnah continued to grin, her slender fingers grazing over Sosu’s handiwork. “I bet it’s a beautiful place. The magical ones always are.”
Sosu brushed some of her waving hair behind her elongated ear. “Always the case, isn’t it?”
Mirnah’s cheeks brightened. “Master…”
“Mirnah.” Sosu said more firmly, his hand pressed to her face. He turned her head towards him. “How many times must I ask you to use my name? We’re alone now, aren’t we?”
“And for how long until I must hide from your touch again?”
That was a fair counterpoint. Sosu sighed and had her glide to him more closely so he could hold her. His many hands roamed over her back and side as their noses touched. Mirnah, for all of her complaints about hiding their affections, still found herself weak in his touch.
“I’m hoping Thra will answer that for me.” Sosu answered. “Lesser urskeks have always been my concern, even before I met you. I never felt that your corporeal leanings were a weakness to overcome, never. And when I fell for you…”
Mirnah gently kissed him before pulling back. “I know. You were always so kind. But what’s this have to do with Thra?”
Sosu pulled her back against his chest. “For so long, we have assumed that we must someday give up our physical bodies completely for the Full Enlightenment. But Thra may disprove that theory. The planet is filled with corporeal beings who carry a great spiritual and numeric affinity. As to what extent, I don’t know. But if I can learn more, and document my findings, I can prove to the others that lesser urskeks were never lesser. I can show that our union is not disruptive to our evolution as a species.”
A peck to the top of her head was felt, making Mirnah grin. “No more making love in the dark, then?”
“I would hope so. I know so.” Sosu said deeply, quietly. “I love you.”
She turned to kiss him more fully and deeply. They let the night take them the rest of the way.
——
SkekMir awoke with a jolt and, still groggy, clawed out for her hidden stash of paper and a pencil. Both were taken out from under her many pillows and blankets before she began to sketch yet another lifelike dream.
She could never remember the names of the strange beings she continued to see every other night, but their faces were as unforgettable as the lives they lead. So contemplative yet striking, gentle but bold, eager but careful of what they longed for. The only other proof of their existence outside of SkekMir’s dreams were deep in the castle’s library, their knowledge outlawed and locked up. She caught sight of them only once and paid dearly for it via a broken finger.
She subconsciously popped the now-healed joint and continued her drawing. The Lovers, which SkekMir sketched out now, were her favorite. They seemed to have some sort of secret affair between them and she greatly indulged in their storyline. How lovely it must have been to have someone to sneak away with…
The skek shook her head and began the finishing touches of their scene. Thoughts turned elsewhere. These creatures unique abilities, also, struck SkekMir as intriguing: beings beyond the limits of physical matter and perhaps even time, yet they still had a foot in the door of grounded life as she understood it to be. The balance needed to embrace such a reality must have been mind boggling to live with. A shame that she had no one to speak about it with.
“Fala avo! Breakfast, ye?” A Podling servant walked in. She pulled a little trolley with deceptively simple fare. SkekMir had a sensitive stomach but still had refined tastes for her cuisine, something that the Gourmand mocked her over. Oh well. At least he found her food tastes a fun challenge. Her artwork was hidden away and she sat up to pull aside the tapestry on her four post bed.
“Sure. And tea of course. Fala vam.”
The servant — Doda, now that SkekMir was more awake and recognized her — poured the tea as the young skek served herself some lightly salted root porridge. Carefully, she continued.
"Any news on your daughter yet?"
Doda paused and sighed but shook her head. "Ne, ne...Avoyay..."
"This is hard, I know." SkekMir said quietly. "I know I don't have much power here but that may change. I'll get Daya back to you yet."
Doda could only nod obediently with misty, round eyes. The hopelessness of her only child's imprisonment (and under the Scientist's authority no less) was a hardship she could barely talk about and it hurt her greatly. And given a sad servant was a poor servant, the Butler let it be. There was a big day ahead, and hopefully one that would soon make her an equal among the others. Daya would be freed soon enough, one way or another.
After the quick meal, she got up and slipped off her sweaty undergown for a new one, and put on her usual dress. It was dark, mostly black and brown, with some black lace trimming here and there, but otherwise as simplistic as the rest of her preferences. She buttoned up her bodice in the front before adding her stately and deep brown apron over it. If it weren’t for her bright blue plumage and long, wavy auburn hair, SkekMir would have been mistaken for a muddy looking creature.
Sometimes, with the constant harassment that her fellow Skeksis held over her, she wished she did. At least then she could blend into the walls more easily.
SkekMir transformed into The Butler once again, and she tucked her thick braid under a matching black lace veil, as long as her dress train. She clipped the sides to her sleeves. This allowed the veil to stick to her sides as she worked. There was a breath inwards, and she walked out of her chambers to begin her day.
The walk down the hall led to every skeksis apartment, of which there was always a rope by it to ring a bell. SkekMir rung it, ignoring the grumbles and moans from the late risers. Others who woke up on their own would grunt in acknowledgment; still more who were already out and about would have silent chambers.
The Emperor’s chambers, however, were in the level above theirs, and took up that entire floor of the castle. He was to never be awoken by a bell, and had none. Normally he woke on his own and despised anyone, regardless of race, walking into his territory.
Except for today. There was a reason Doda could find some hope. Today was the first morning that SkekMir would meet with the Emperor for her new duty: serving his breakfast and helping him into the finishing touches of his robes. After a trine of service after first awakening on Thra, it was an honorable promotion from mere head of servants to personal lady in waiting.
At least, for this one duty. She may not have yet earned the right to learn the true, skeksis names of her fellows, but she was getting closer to being their equal over time. This would be one of many tests to assess her worthiness and the Butler charged into it with every ounce of courage she could muster. Both she and her podling companion had much to lose without this.
“My liege.” SkekMir curtsied once inside. He had his back to her, looking over a journal at his personal desk. From time to time he scratched at his long black beak. His robes were on, but his crown, jewelry, and outer cloak were not. Doda trailed behind her with the breakfast trolley before quietly exiting. “Your breakfast is ready. May I serve you?”
“Hm? Oh, yes. Hurry up.”
The Butler did so and pushed the trolley closer. Once close enough, SkekMir first poured him some tea, sweetening it to his liking, and then placed it by his side. She turned more fully to the cart again to prepare a plate.
Unusual for a skek meal, it was pleasant to smell and look at. The fumes smelled lovely — they were aromatic and sharp, fresh for a meal for a ruling monarch. Why, there was likely an herb from each end of Thra in that one dish alone that she could sniff out. The thought made her smile. Forbidden though she was to leave the castle, the Scroll-Keeper’s collection of maps were her favorite part of his library. She knew every landmark and natural formation, and what went on in each place.
The plate was heaped up and presented properly, and so SkekMir continued to smile over her adventurous daydreaming when she turned slightly to serve her master. When she did, she glanced upwards and was startled.
The Emperor had been staring at her, his face unreadable but focused. Not knowing what else to do, she lowered her gaze and gently placed his food by his half-drunken tea.
“Will you need anything else, sire?”
He paused for a moment before bringing the plate and cutlery closer to himself. “No. Ready my things. Don’t waste any more of my time.”
“Right away, sire!” The Butler bowed and quickly moved to the other side of his apartments. There, she went into his spacious closet, technically the size of a room; she fished out his usual garb from one of the many racks. Carefully they were placed on a separate tray, organized and displayed neatly, before she returned to him. The Emperor must have been truly busy, as he finished his meal just as she returned.
He looked at her and nodded shallowly, wordlessly ordering her to continue. SkekMir obeyed as always and got closer to him as she first placed his wide, imperial necklace. At first it did not strike her at how intimate the act had been. In fact, it had not been entirely shocking to begin with, given that she regularly helped the others with their bathing or Courtly dinners. She never washed or ate with them, and she didn’t particularly care to, but she knew the skeksis at their most personal moments. Why would this be any different?
Yet it began to feel that way. Their faces had become closer than ever before as SkekMir added more bits of his gems and stones, and finally, his crown. The entire time, whenever she drew close to his seated body, his head would tilt towards her. It was hard to not look him in the eye but she somehow managed.
Swiftly SkekMir turned away to fetch his cloak, which she forgot, but was thankfully on a decorative rack close to where he sat. She played it off as par the course, returning with it as he stood up. It was placed on and her job was done. She stepped back, dipped in a curtsy again, and bowed her head. Per usual protocol, as dictated by the Ritual-Master, she was not to ask if her job was complete at the very end — she had to be dismissed.
There was silence.
With a creaking neck, SkekMir dared to glance up out of confusion. Once again, the Emperor had been staring at her with unknown intent. She squeaked from fear of having broken protocol, stumbled forward, and quickly stood back up to curtsy again.
“My apologies, my liege!”
But he was not offended. Almost bored, he replied, “You’re dismissed until I retire tonight. Don’t be late.”
And with that, he left her alone in his vast and many chambers. SkekMir stood up and sighed, rubbing her now sore neck.
She hoped the others weren’t as busy as he.
——
“No no no, you must do it for me!” The Ornamentalist insisted, shoving the letter into SkekMir’s hands. “The Scientist can’t possibly deal with another cancellation! I can’t bear to witness it!”
“You love making fun of him.” SkekMir scoffed, and shoved the letter back into her claws. “Why would you care if you make him pout?”
“Because then I have to promise to make it up to him somehow.” The Ornamentalist snapped back, as if it were obvious. “Give that cretin an inch and he greedily takes the next mile.”
“How about this? You just go on a promenade with him.”
“Absolutely not!”
SkekMir sighed and rubbed her face. As she slowly gained influence, she would also need the Scientist to remain cordial enough to be reasoned with. Consistent rejection would make it all the harder to win back Daya. She was about to make another suggestion, before the glittering fabric of her dress caught her eye. It gave the Butler an idea.
“Listen. I know it’s just the Scientist. But even he appreciates beauty when he sees it.”
Her superior narrowed her eyes. “…Continue…”
“And not only are you lovely as always, but also freshly washed from your bath day, and wearing your latest fashion. Why not throw him a bone and get praise while you’re at it? And you’ll get food and drink out of it too.”
The Ornamentalist hummed over that argument, her face softening. Then a wicked grin grew and she took out her fan.
“Oh, why not! The Gourmand always makes my front messy with his silly concoctions anyway. At least the Scientist washes his hands from time to time.”
“That’s the spirit!” SkekMir smiled also. She managed to set her up with her other things for the outdoor walk before traversing to an empty area of the castle. There, she found time for a quick breather.
First it had been the General demanding that someone bring him ale to the morning drills. That was arranged, but soon after, the Scroll-Keeper and the Collecter called for a full tea and sandwich service while they prepared for their annual tithing journey to Ha’rar. SkekMir almost made it to safety before the Ornamentalist snagged her to the side and demanded her help.
Perhaps now she could eat. SkekMir spotted an empty chamber. It was dusty and unused, though old storage items had been taken out. She had done the inventory yesterday herself and hoped it could be turned into a quiet resting place for her. Of course, that was a pipe dream: other than her own one-room apartment, no part of the castle was truly hers. The Crystal Lords were territorial and loathed to give the Butler more than what she already had.
Well, at least SkekMir could pretend the room was hers, if just for a little while. She took off her veil and laid it out on the ground like a rug, and dived into her apron pockets. In one hand she took out a tiny bottle of herbal wine, nicked yesterday from the kitchens while the Gourmand whacked at a Podling for burning his puffs. In the other was a wrapping of lightly sweetened rolls that she collected over the past few days from trolley runs. Of all the food the Skeksis feasted on, they ate these the least. SkekMir sat down, legs politely tucked underneath her, and nibbled and drank just as daintily.
Now that she thought about it…the food that the Skeksis DID like often disgusted her: not just physically from how rich it was, but also personally. They liked their pies with wriggling, squealing critters popping out for breath. Bizarre tentacle-like animals also garnished their watery stews, and pungent spices were stuffed into overbloated crustaceans boiled in sour milk. They delighted in the extreme, and SkekMir simply wanted to enjoy a meal in silence.
At least she didn’t have to fight them on food. It was one less thing to worry about.
“Hmm.”
SkekMir tensed and faced the door from where she sat. Of course the Chamberlain would find her out here. She roughly swallowed what was in her mouth and she stuffed the rest of the food behind her as she stammered.
“I was…uh…testing something…that I found…”
But the Chamberlain laughed her off. “Oh ho! Chamberlain not tell little secret of Butler’s, yes? Need fun from time to time.”
“Oh, yes. I suppose we all do.” SkekMir said while standing up and giving a small curtsy. “Does my Lord Chamberlain require my services?”
“Hmmmm…”
Oh just spit it out you slug, SkekMir cursed in her mind.
“Perhaps…oh, but shouldn’t! Not when Butler gained so much trust from Emperor…”
SkekMir blinked in surprise and stood up. “I have his trust?”
“Of course, silly Butler! Why else would Emperor choose you for service? All alone in Imperial chambers, handling personal items…yes, the Butler is in high regard.”
So was he buttering her up for something? Likely. SkekMir tried not to let the compliments get to her head.
But being favored by someone as fickle as their ruler? At the least, SkekMir found comfort in knowing that she would not be punished any time soon. Horror stories of former punishment ceremonies, lead by an overexcitable Ritual Master, was enough to keep her in line most days.
Chamberlain finally spoke up. “But of course, if Butler has trust…”
“What would I use his trust for? If I may ask.”
“A quick check.” Chamberlain explained once she caught on. “Into personal records. See if…Chamberlain in good graces, yes?”
SkekMir blinked. “Just that? I could just ask him if you—“
“No, not that! Not ever that!” Chamberlain insisted as he walked in with a wave of his arms. His red robes rustled on the rough stone floor. “Emperor will know why you ask, be bothered by it. Must be…discreet.”
She hesitated at such vague reasoning, but he seemed to have expected that. He reached into his own pocket and held out a key.
The key to the room she was in now. SkekMir gasped.
“How did you get that?!”
“Chamberlain is right hand of Emperor. In charge of many things. Could give to you…if you give to Chamberlain. Yes?”
SkekMir hesitated, yet found herself at a loss. She desperately wanted a new space of her own, a place to lock herself away from the others and be able to relax in peace. Her other room was never locked, and could be invaded by demanding skeksis at any moment in time. In between court squabbles and helping Doda, it was growing too much some days.
But the Emperor trusted her.
And with a realization of her own, SkekMir knew that Chamberlain trusted her also. Who said he had to know if she looked at all, so long as she pretended to and gave him an answer he wanted? She curtsied again.
“I’ll see what I can find, my Lord.” She answered. “I’ll send word once I find it.”
“Good! Good…”
The key was placed back into his pocket as he turned to leave. He paused and looked over to her, his smile still lingering. It made SkekMir worried.
“Yes, my Lord Chamberlain?”
He hummed again, and then said, “Should hide sketches better, to avoid trouble. Would hate to see trusted friend punished for dabbling with forbidden history, yes?”
SkekMir felt her face lose its color while he sauntered away. Trusted, indeed.
