Medically Advantageous Rooster Attack

New to Kraken hockey, 15+ years experience with chickens. Pens fan as well, along with various guys on various teams. Expect a bunch of random stuff. She/her. Super ace but a gorgeous man is irresistible. I sometimes attempt shit posts that may or may not be good

[smokingrozanov]

My sick one true love fetish……… my disgusting monogamous shipping……..

[hutsonwoolyums]

Ok I’m actually starting to get a little defensive of Ilya because why am I seeing more and more characterization of him as messy, undisciplined, irresponsible, etc.

Like yes, he’s more carefree than Shane, but he’s also one of the best hockey players in the world and you don’t get there without an insane amount of discipline, and even beyond that we literally see him acting as a caretaker for his father, managing money for his brother, arranging his father’s funeral and getting it done quickly and efficiently, none of that is the behavior of someone who’s never used a calendar…

[carnagechicken]

i really don't think Hayden would figure out lily is actually ilya by putting together clues and having a lightbulb moment. I just know it took him powering up his entire brain cell to notice the pattern of Shane going out in Boston and nowhere else.

"Shane texts a girl Lily....... And he gets laid in Boston..... Hmmmm" *Several years pass* "lily is in Boston! *Fist pump* nailed it!"

And then he never thought about it deeper.

[gaygoatshane]

he couldn't believe he was being asked if he liked girls

[carnagechicken]

sometimes living in a part of town where it's very common to have people yelling and screaming at anytime in a 24 hour period is unpleasant, for example when you're trying to sleep, but other times, say when you try scream-singing the "wake up" part from Wake Up by Rage Against the Machine at 9pm, it's an advantage!

[medrawawi]

[urie]

honestly shane getting a blowjob and fingers in his mouth while hayden is confiding in him about his wife's difficult delivery and how they need her brother to help while shes in recovery is one of the funniest fucking things he has ever done. hes such a jock. hes like damnnn that sucks anyway hold on [cums]

[gaygoatshane]

[dailyhudsonwilliams]

via by.aikaflores

[russianblush]

Best Lead Performer, Drama Series is....Hudson Williams!

[carnagechicken]

not to take away from how emotionally gut wrenching the couch frotting was with it's epic highs and even more epic lows but. They were panting. open-mouthed. into each other's faces. With tuna breath. Ilya spat tuna mayo infected saliva onto Shane's hand. Shane was jerking them off with essence of canned fish. He left that house with a soft penis covered in cum and tuna flavoured spit

[gaynehollander]

I just think, based on the way Ilya had his hand down his pants for the entirety of the Boston conversation, that after he and Shane are settled in their relationship his relaxation always includes somewhat inappropriate Shane touching. They're watching a movie with Shane resting on his chest? Ilya's hand is on his bare ass, fingers playing along the crease where his butt becomes his thigh, occasionally lifting the cheek and letting it go just to feel it jiggle. Shane's on the couch reading? Ilya's crawling between his legs and resting his head in the crease of his thigh. Shane's cuddled up with his back against Ilya's chest? Ilya's hand is resting on that man's cock. It's not necessarily sexual, it's not consciously possessive (although it is subconsciously possessive in that Shane's body is his to touch in whatever way he wants), that's just how he's most comfortable.

[gaynehollander]

Meanwhile, Shane Oral Fixation Hollander always has some part of Ilya in his mouth. So they're cuddled up, Ilya's right hand on Shane's ass, the left one in his mouth and it's become so normal that neither one of them gives it a second thought. There's definitely a time or two where they accidentally do it around other people, like they're watching a scary movie with the Pikes and don't realise that Shane's had two of Ilya's fingers in his mouth for the past ten minutes until Hyden catches it out of the corner of his eye and goes "dude, what the fuck??" or they're heading back with the Cens after a series of away games and they're cuddled up on the plane, both half asleep, when Ilya's hand just makes its way down Shane's pants to rest in the crease of his groin and when Troy says "Roz, you'll be home in like two hours, can't that wait?" neither one of them realises what he's even referring to.

[1410-1221-dec2008]

[smokingrozanov]

That first instance of Fingers In His Mouth is so stupid hot. Shane is lost in the sauce immediately just from the sensation of having a hand on another man’s body + something in his mouth & you can literally see the brain to body connection occurring when he decides he has to drop to his knees & get Ilya in his mouth.

[sergeifyodorov]

I don't read as much fic as I used to but one "tell" for non Canadians writing us, besides the etransfer, is the units you use to describe us measuring something. I hate to tell you this but The Chart is real and it's completely subconscious. Please abide

[demotu-writes]

ETA the chart (or at least a version of it):

ETA2: we do use inches/miles in poetic ways ("he was lost in thought/miles away" or "his lips were a bare inch away").

Also, the length of a dick is in inches for SURE.

[sergeifyodorov]

Yep! Also "related to work" is a little vague here -- the sciences do use metric.

[fuckrozanov]

connor storrie really took ilya being 9 inches to heart because every time we see ilya jerking it that arm has the range of motion of a man trying to crank a lawnmower that’s been sitting in the garage for 3 months…..i see your character work mr storrie i see those wide gratuitous strokes

[sunnypeachyy]

Ember & Ice - Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie