why am i, 2026
awake? february
potentially
twenty-two or twenty-four or
23rd
or
4inthemorningoโclock
(this vape hits like a sissy)
or 5:17 a(nte) m(eridiem)
mercury soon in retrograde
(like i care)
dream-glazed Aztec hair
bespoiled empires, how common
how painfully american
to die of cancer or gun violence
scylla or charybdis
coke or pepsi
(both taste like diabetic urine)
iโll take a cold glass of
data center backwash
river-fed, a note of mountains
off the nose, and undertones
of corporate slavery and
neo-fascism
(as though this shit was โnewโ)
just the same old re-packaged
re-branded re-funded re-justified
tribal bullshit
โmy oh my!โ my ganna
would have said
โsomeone woke up in a mood!โ
in her southern belle drawl
but she died in the side bedroom
those thick glasses probably
threw little rainbows on the wall
from the bedside table
mist in the sprinkler
a spectrum of harp strings
suspended, frozen in childish
memory, (nostalgia is hopeful
poison)
i am only ever now
(worse luck)
and fables made of then
(self-indulgent bildungsroman)
woven by an
unreliable narrator
(christ, Iโm bored,
a thief may have said
as they hung waiting)
samsaric tedium
(death and re-death)
we are only ever now
(although i do wonder
what her mind projected
upon that hideous popcorn ceiling
as she lay in bed that night)
or did she simply ask
am i awake?
am i awake?
am i awake?
until she simply was not
(this strain recedes like a coward tide)
why why why my oh my
(am i awake?)
