My blog ? I think ?

Carokamiya, 32 yo, frenchwoman and fangirl extraordinaire.

[theperilousrose]

Anyone know the Bagginshield fic where Bilbo was a dwarf and married to Thorin when Smaug attacked Erebor, got killed by Azog at the battle for Moria, and is reincarnated as Bilbo? Bilbo goes on the quest and Fili and Kili realise he's the reincarnation of their uncle. I can't remember if it was a completed fic or not, got the itch to go re-read - please help 🙏

[patheticwhitemenlover]

Stood up

Robert x Flambae

He asked him out. Like...actually asked him out. And Robert didn't know what to do. So he went. And maybe he shouldn't have.

(Angst, pranks gone wrong, Robert is lonely and Chad is very gay and stupid)

Based on this post by @tremendous-amount-of-ships because what the fuck bro, how dare.

"A...what?"

Robert blinked. Shirt half pulled up to dab at the sweat beading across his brow. Punching bag still swaying and drink bottle in hand. Panting and red faced as Chad stood in front of him. Boxed him in against the benches. A soft glow all around him in the darkness of the basement gym. His suit replaced by his own work out clothes. Yoga pants and a tank top. Mat rolled under his arm and ready to join Alice for the afternoon session a few doors down.

"A date. You deaf or something, Bobert?"

His hair was loose. Falling in soft waves. He smelled like coconut and sandalwood.

Robert blinked again.

"Me? You're asking me on a date?"

Chad took a step forward. And Robert took one back.

"What, there some other pathetic, no assed, skinny twink with daddy issues around here or something? Yes, you. Dumb fuck"

He took another step and the backs of Robert's knees hit the bench. Stumbling for a moment. Water bottle almost dropping from his grip as he gulped down the pulse that was rising in his throat. Blaming the heat in his face on a mix of his workout and Chad's proximity. Shirt still pulled up. But slowly dropping as he scanned Chad's face. Trying to find it. The joke.

But there wasn't one.

There wasn't even anyone here to witness the joke. Just him and Chad and the smell of chalk.

So he let himself believe it. Let himself hope. Just this once. And nodded.

"Well...Ok then. Sure. I'd...love to?"

Chad hummed. And smirked. Roberts hand inches away from finally dropping his hem as Chad reached forward. A warm palm sliding across his bare stomach. Over his navel and hips, cupping his waist. Pushing him against the wall and pulling him in closer. Nose sliding down the curve of his own. Three fingers gripping him tight. Minty fresh firey breath brushing his cheeks.

"Say it like you mean it or I won't fuck you after dessert"

Roberts heart pounded. His guts flipped and shuddered. His legs felt like jelly and his hands didn't know where to go. What to do. So he pressed them into the wall and let his hips be pulled closer.

"I'd love to go on a date with you, Chad"

His voice didn't shake. And he was so grateful for that. Because his legs wouldn't stop. Trembling under his baggy sweats. Hopeful that this would all be over soon and he wouldn't be looking like such a little bitch for much longer.

But then Chad was running sharp teeth down his throat. Barley a graze. Not even a nip. But something. Something that made his eyes close and his breath hitch. His knees ready to buckle.

"Good. I'll text you the address and time. Don't be late"

And then he was gone. Air cold and those stupid yoga pants leaving nothing to Robert's imagination as he waved over his shoulder and left. Leaving Robert there to shakily sit down on the bench and squeeze cold water over his head. His side burning with the ghost of warm fingertips.

Unaware of the look Alice was giving him just outside the cracked door. The menacing smirk and slow clap. Taking in Chad's sarcastic bow and equally devilish smirk.

"That was cruel, Bae"

"But you love it, Sparkles"

____________________________________________

Robert hadn't had a date in years. He hadn't had any reason to, any motivation. He didn't crave sex. He didn't need romance. Hell, he barely needed company. But he was lonely. So lonely that he didn't even feel it anymore. Just an ache that was always there. Tucked beside his cracking joins and crippling sense of doom.

And, even if he still wasn't sure if this was one big joke or not, he was excited. Asking Chase to take Beef for the night. Looking up the restaurant menu online and googling the French words he didn't understand. Trying to look into wine pairings and figuring out a budget, because he wanted to pay. He wanted to take some kind of lead. Be responsible for some part of this. Even if he was counting pennies. He just couldn't order the lobster.

But then he thought about his outfit, and realised he only had two pairs of pants, three shirts, one pair of shoes and the mechman Lycra. So he hesitantly tapped Victor's shoulder in the locker room, and asked if he could borrow a suit. And after some playful jabs about hot dates and not putting out, he said he had one that might fit. His old one from prom. And some shoes to match.

So here he was. Standing in front of the restaurant 10 minutes early. Menu figured out, cash in his wallet, suit neatly buttoned and shoes reflecting the stars. Neat and polished and holding a small bouquet of Peruvian fire lillies because they reminded him of Chad's eyes.

And he waited.

Just waited.

Looking at the watch he had pulled out of his dads box of things in the back of his closet. Then at his phone and Chad's text. The time matching up. The address correct.

An hour passed.

And he was fidgeting. Picking at his cuticles and pacing the mouth of an ally way. Bouquet drooping and phone pressed to his ear as it rang.

And rang.

And rang.

A click.

Voicemail.

"Hey, Chad. It's me. Just...checking in. I'm at the restaurant and...I know traffic is bad this time of night so no rush just...whenever you get here"

He lowered the phone and ended the call. Chewing on his lips. Picking the skin with his teeth as he kept waiting.

And waiting.

And waiting.

Leaning against the brick. Eyes stinging as they stared at the second hand ticking away mockingly. The air was chilly now. The lillies sinking.

So he picked up the phone again, and choked back the crack in his voice as it rang.

And rang.

And rang.

Click.

"Hey, me again. I'll just...its ok. We can do this another time, maybe. I don't think you're going to make it before closing. I'm sorry. I know you don't like a flake but it's late and we have work tomorrow so I'll just...see you then...its Robert by the way"

He ended the call. Looking down at the flowers before tossing them into the dumpster at the end of the ally. Sitting on top of stale bread and rotten fruit.

He started walking.

His feet on autopilot because he couldn't think right now. It was too dangerous. Because every choice was the wrong one.

Go home and feel the emptiness. Eat a bowl of ceral and get trapped in his own spirling mind.

Go to Chase's and get a lecture about how of course he stood him up, he was a shitty villian after all. He should have expected this.

Go to another z-team members house and find out they were all in on the joke. That this was one big conspiracy to make him look the fool. And it worked. Such a gullible bitch.

So he walked.

And kicked rocks as he went.

"Where the fuck is he going? His apartments the opposite way"

Chad had the phone pressed to his ear. Listening to the voicmail he had just received a couple of minutes ago. Covered in glitter and sweat. Fish net top ripped down the side from some overenthusiastic grinding on the clubs dance floor. Alice hot on his heels as he ducked behind some cars and watched Robert walking away.

He didn't mean to ignore him.

I mean...standing him up was the plan. But he didn't expect two voicemails six hours apart as he threw back shots of fireball and made out with anything with a pulse and a dick that entered his orbit. He didn't even expect Robert to show up. So, rushing out of the club with Alice dragged behind him to find Robert kicking his feet with his hands in a set of suit pockets was a shock, to say the least.

It looked like he had combed his hair. Shaved and washed his face. Put on cologne and even flossed properly.

He was ready for a date.

And that made Chad's heart twist in some kind of fucked up way.

"I dunno. Back to the office, maybe? Dudes a workaholic. It's kind of sad"

Alice shrugged. Her pasties threatening to fall off as she swayed on her feet. Gesturing into the air as Robert kept on walking.

So they followed.

____________________________________________

Alice was right.

He was a fucking workaholic.

Because they followed him all the way back to the SDN. Watching as Robert smiled at the night guards that were half asleep. Made some small talk and disappeared behind glass.

And then they followed him down empty halls. To his desk where he pulled out a key from his bottom draw. The bull pen ticking over with three dispatchers running on caffeine and sugar. The lamps at their booths the only thing illuminating the room.

And then they followed him down three floors into Royd's lab, where he used the key to slide the door open and slip inside. Closing it with a soft thunk, but not a click. Leaving it open for their grubby little hands to slide it back open and peek inside.

To watch as Robert pulled off his blazer and tie. Toeing off his shoes and pressing some kind of key pad to lift a wall.

That was hiding the mech.

"Oh no..."

Chad froze, watching as Robert lifted the hatch and slipped inside. Curling up on the seat and hugging himself tight. Sniffling and biting his lip so hard it went white. Rubbing his eyes on his cuffs and messing up his hair in frustration. Mumbling to himself. Cursing himself. Wallet pulled from his slacks and thrown into the pile on the floor. Crisp new bills peaking out the top and a receipt from a florist fluttering across the room, stuck to the back of the leather as he rushed to get to the restaurant in time. Shoving it deep into his pocket with hurried thank you's and hope still in his heart.

Fire lillies.

"What? Bae, come on, move your big ass head"

Alice pushed him. Crawling up his back just in time to catch the soft sob that broke free from Robert's chest. The fat tears that started rolling down his cheeks as he pressed a button, and closed the hatch.

"Oh..."

Chad pushed the door open, just enough to grab the receipt, before closing it again. Pacing the hallway and tugging at his hair. Glitter falling into his eyes and heart pounding.

"We fucked up"

His eyes were wide. Feet padding. Leather too tight and boots too high. The walls closing in around him. His breathing fast and shallow. Head spinning as Alice snatched the paper from his hands. Her face falling impossibly further.

"You fucked up"

Fire lillies.

He bought fucking fire lillies.

He had a stack of cash in his wallet and a two piece suit drapped over his skinny normie body.

He put in effort. He tried, really tried. And Chad stood him up. Chad ignored his calls and made out with strangers while he stood there for hours, just waiting. Hopeful. Actually expecting Chad to show up. To wine and dine him and make good on his promises after dessert was done.

And now he was sobbing in his coffin. Because it was the only place he felt safe.

"I didn't...I didn't think he'd take it so fucking seriously. I mean...its me! No one ever...did I miss some signals or something? He can't be...he doesn't..."

He couldn't.

He just...he couldn't.

He couldn't have feelings for Chad. He couldn't genuinely want this. For this to be something. For all this to have been real. He was Robert. Just Robert. He was the butt of the joke. The communal punching bag. He was the play along fall guy that shrugged it off and took nothing to heart.

He didn't take anything Chad said seriously.

So why was he wearing a fucking suit and buying flowers.

A hand found his bicep. Gripping it, stilling him. Looking down at her split coloured hair and heavy make up for the first time since he opened that door. Realising that he was crying. Steam bubbling from his cheeks. Vision blury and jaw shaking.

Alice sqeezed. And he tried to gulp down the twisting of his stomach.

"I think he does, Bae. Or at least he did..."

She looked down at the receipt.

"I dont know if you're gonna have a second chance after this"

And handed it back.

$23.40 with tax. Purchased half an hour before the time he had made up and sent in a text while he put on eye-liner in Alice's bathroom and joked about leopard print thongs.

"...fuck"

[annawry]

So I woke up this morning, had my heart unceremoniously ripped out (oh my god OP, my HEART), and immediately had to fix it.

A conversation over the comms. Z-Team poly heavily implied, though it can also possibly be read as platonic except for maybe Waterboy, but Prism and Bae are left out in the cold.

There's no jeering or mocking from the team on Monday morning, just the usual grumblings from a group of decidedly not morning people. Prism and Flambae are suspiciously quiet though, and Robert finds himself getting tense--tenser--bracing for impact. A few early missions trickle in and Robert assigns them on autopilot. His back is killing him, more than usual. Sleeping in the mech Saturday night had been a bad idea, but it had felt… safe. Familiar. It reminded him that he had something greater that he could loose himself in and he'd spent Sunday mentally scripting a conversation with Mandy, one where he asks to shift back to full-time hero work with a transfer to DTLA where he'll be more effective, feeling bitterly ashamed that his humiliation at Flambae's hands might be his last straw with the Z-Team.

A jaw-cracking yawn sounds over the comms and Victor groans, finally sounding a bit more awake. "How'd the date go, Boberino?"

"Oh yeah, babes, Vic told me about the suit," Malevola chimes in, "Must be someone special for you to get all spit-shined and polished."

Flambae is still uncharacteristically silent as the rest of the team, bar Prism, chimes in with the expected teasing and cat-calling. Pettiness opens Robert's mouth and he finds himself saying, "Disappointing, actually. The guy talked about himself the whole time, was rude to the wait staff, and was going to be stingy with the tip."

Alice makes a choked noise, which all but confirms she knows what really happened. Robert waits for Flambae to bluster, to tell everyone that he'd stood Robert up. That their pathetic, weak, normie dispatcher had stupidly thought he had a chance with someone as hot as himself. He says nothing.

"What the feck, what an asshole."

"Sounds like you dodged a fucking bullet there, babes."

"Please tell me you didn't go home with him after that," Visi groans and Robert huffs an involuntary half laugh.

"No." No, he didn't go home with anyone, he didn't even go home. He needs to change the topic. "I'll get the suit dry-cleaned and return-"

"Nah, keep it, Rob Bob," Sonar interrupts him, "It doesn't fit me anymore anyway, and this way Mal and I can take you out to dinner to make up for the shitty date."

Anxiety immediately seizes Robert's chest. He doesn't trust the offer. Victor sounds sincere and he can hear Malevola cheerfully add, "Hell yeah! I want to see you all cleaned up," but her voice has dropped to a purr by the end Robert feels slightly sick, remembering the way Flambae's voice had lowered, and the heat of his hand against Robert's stomach as he'd crowded Robert up against the gym wall. He doesn't trust them, he can't, and that fucking sucks. He needs to talk to Mandy.

"If dinner is an option, Colm and I would also like to take you out, Robert," Coop quietly says, still hesitant and overly careful in her interactions with him since her return to the team, "I would appreciate the opportunity to-"

She flounders and Colm picks up where she left off, "Aye, we'd both appreciate the opportunity to wine and dine ye, lad."

Robert could have shot Sonar and Malevola down but he's as careful with Coop now as she is with him, both of them tentatively finding new footing with each other. "I, uh. Maybe," he says, glad that his voice comes out steady, "I'll think about it."

"Good lad. Dibs on this weekend."

"Hey!" Sonar squawks, indignant, "I asked first!"

"Dibs on next, then," Malevola says firmly.

"M-Me. Me too, I would also-I would like to. Dinner. With you. If-if you would-want. Uhm," Robert can hear Waterboy take a deep, steadying breath, "I would also like to go to dinner. With you. Please."

Fuck. Robert drops his head into his hands. Herman doesn't have a deceptive bone in his body, which means he's probably seriously asking, and Robert doesn't know how to cope with the conflicting feelings this discussion is churning up inside of him. He swallows hard.

"Or. Or maybe not din-not just dinner," Herman continues in a rush before Robert can figure out what to say, "But, there's an, uhm. Aqua-An aquarium? That lets you pet, they have a pet-Petting pool. I, it's, I really like it there, I want-would like-uh. Share. I want to share that. With you."

"Oh my god," Visi crows, scandalously delighted, "Are you asking our dispatcher out on an actual date-date? Do you like-like Robert?"

"I. Ye-yes? If-"

"That sounds really nice, Herm. I, uh, I'd like that." Robert says, and this time he can't keep the slight tremor out of his voice. He clears his throat.

"Oh, I- That's grea- Thank- uhm. Okay, Okay! It's a-a date. A date. With you. And me." Robert can hear Herm faintly add o-oh my g-god.

"Don't pass out, loverboy," Visi snorts.

"Well now he's upped the ante, hasn't he," Colm muses, "How do ye feel about the Santa Cruz boardwalk, Robert? They've some fine magic shows on in the evenings at the moment."

"Cirque du Soleil also has a planned tour here in several months and I would be honored if you would attend a performance with me, Robert."

"You're going to need a fucking schedule at this rate, but uh," Robert can vividly imagine the way Visi looks down and to the side, scowling with her hair falling into her eyes, desperately trying not to sound like she cares, "There's movies on the beach, they're showing a bunch of oldies at the moment. I think it's Grease next week and the nerds are probably all going to dress up in cosplay and shit and besides you still owe me fucking popcorn. So."

"I could probably rock the greaser look."

"You wish," Visi huffs but she sounds a little squeaky, "Do you even own a leather jacket?"

"He will by the time I'm done with him, babes. We're going thrifting Sunday afternoon, if that works for you guys?"

"Aye, we'll do dinner Saturday, and save the boardwalk for the weekend after yours."

"Herm, do you want next Saturday or Sunday for the aquarium?" Malevola asks.

"Sa-Saturday! Please."

"You got it. Sonar and I will take Sunday if you want Friday night for the movies, Vis?"

"Do I get a say in this?" Robert asks, dryly.

"Nope!" Malevola cheerfully tells him, "We've still got this Friday open if you guys want in on this, Pris? Bae?"

"No!" Robert knows he sounds far, far too harsh but that sick, cold feeling is instantly back. "I have plans," he lies, "with Chase."

"Oookay," Mal draws out, sounding hesitant now, "But you're okay with the rest of-"

"Yes. Yes I- I'm. Good, I uh," his fucking emotions are all over the place. "Everything sounds really. Good," and then more softly, because this is his misfit team of fuck-ups, how could he even think about leaving them, "Thank you, guys. This means a lot to me."

"Our pleasure," Malevola says, matching his softness, "You deserve to be treated right."

There's a chorus of agreements, two voices conspicuously absent, and then Sonar ruins the moment by exclaiming, "The Vanderstenk Tech Expo! Oh, Boberino, do I have a date idea that will blow your sweet little mind."

[comickergirl]

It's gettin' SILLY around here. XD (Some potential sticker designs! It'll depend on how the proofs go.)

[carokamiya]

QUEL GOMMAGE JPP ! 🤣🤣🤣

[nuclear-atm0sph3ar]

heres ur chance to like a a posts bc the pride flag thing is satisfying

[mo0nbugs]

In a lot of folklore, faries are hurt by or reppeled by iron

Concept:

Due to Bilbos' fae heritage, he's allergic to iron.

He would say it irritates his skin, but truthfully, it burns him. Even small brushes against the metal make it look like he was burned by a hot brand for days.

He obviously doesn't think to bring it up with anyone. It didn't seem important until Thorin's hand gently brushed the back of his, and Bilbo pulled back with a hiss.

Thorin stared wide-eyed (and a little heartbroken) for a second until he spotted the strip of red skin Bilbo was trying to hide.

"You're hurt, when did that happen?" Thorin went to take the hobbits hand for a better look, but Bilbo skittered back in a slight panic.

"Ah no it-It..well I think it was your ring," Bilbo said.

"My ring?"

Bilbo revealed the small rectangular burn on the back of his freckled hand and Thorin had to bite back a gasp.

"I'm allergic to iron you see, it ma-"

Before Bilbo could even finish the sentence, Thorin had wrenched his ring off his finger and thrown it with all his might into the forest.

Bilbo couldn't quite find his words for a few minutes as he stared slack jawed in the direction the ring had vanished into.

Thorin had just thrown off his ring. Thrown it. His ring he had worn every day Bilbo had known the dwarf. He just threw it into some bushes and would likely never see hide or hair of it again.

Because it had hurt him.

[seihar]

my 20 page kingdom hearts comic featuring Saïx/Isa and Xion (2019). I really don't know what possessed me to do this tbh, but I was so proud of actually finishing it! Probably one of the longest comics I've ever drawn!!! I really like drawing comiiccssss

[iamalivenow]

favorite video game from your childhood 🎤🎤🎤 quickly🎤🎤🎤

[iamalivenow]

full spectrum

[peachiefilms]

already feel like deleting this LMAOOO ive never posted anything like this and it feels so weird and new but flambert took over me 💔 hoping to whoevers up there that ppl i know irl wont find this hsgsheb

[500-moths-in-a-trenchcoat]

oh yes it's that time of year again

[ethanmaldridge]

Messing around in boats

[amikoroyaiart]

Boys being boys

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

[amikoroyaiart]

Boys being boys

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

[dirtycombatboots]

One day someone on the team jokingly called Robert "mom". Robert rolled with it a did his best impression of a concerned mother, reminding his "kids" to wash hands before lunch (looking at you, Punch Up) and to pee before next shift. The joke went on and became daily thing. With dispatcher bearing honorary title of Mama Robert. With occasional laughs of "Your dad doesn't pay enough child support for it" referring to small salary. HR finally wakes up and decides to get on Robert's ass about inappropriate language. Z-team storm into their meetings demanding that HR leave their Mama the fuck alone. HR calls higher-ups. Big guys up there don't really care what the fuck Mecha Man is doing as long as he provides good results with Phoenix program. And he does. If his uncontrollable team wants to call him mom, buy him a stroller. End of discussion. HR feeling humiliated and swear this is the start if their villain ark

[sharingneedles]

IVE BEEN WAITING ALL YEAR TO POST THIS YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

[fuckyeahpaganism]

I’m crying. 

[for-fox-sakess]

i scheduled this a year ago..

[madasross]

Scheduling for every year

[alabasterpickles]

Here’s a collection of sketches/doodles I’ve been sitting on with my Persephone au 🙏 I have five more that couldn’t fit within the limit so I’ll share them in a separate post later tonight

I’m trying to flesh out what their interactions/dynamic are like and maybe I’ll go back and do some more polished pieces with them later

I’m in so deep, I have like this whole secret plot formulated in my head 🫣

[nephtheless]

Komorebi

Combining two of my favourite games? You bet!

Here's Gabby in the style of the cover art from Gris 🙌

I Was listening to the Gris game soundtrack by Berlinist, and then the theme 'Komorebi' started playing, and at about 4:48, the base tune sounds EXACTLY LKE THE NOTES OF GABBRO'S FLUTE!!! Literally put my hand over my heart when that happened 😭

Then I go and look up the definition of 'Komorebi', and this is what Google says:

'"Komorebi (木漏れ日) is a Japanese word that describes the sunlight that filters and shines through the leaves of trees, creating a mesmerizing play of light and shadow. It's a poetic term for the dappled light and dancing shadows on the forest floor or any sunlit scene filtered by tree branches."

Now, if any of you have read my fic 'Refraction', you can imagine what this sparked in my brain 🥺

Spoilers, thought dump, and 'Void version' below:

SPOILERS:

Gris struck a very deep chord for me, as the game is about a young woman's loss and journey through the five stages of grief. Each stage is represented by a colour, and the progression of the game introduces more colours to your surroundings.

By the end of the game, you will have faced your biggest obstacle: yourself (which is different for everyone, whether it be fear of moving on, self doubt, or depression), and learned to recover your 'voice', which for me is symbolic of finding joy after the pain, and becoming what makes you You again.

Thoughts:

Having lost two parent figures in rapid succession, this game had me weeping. I don't know how developers and storytellers manage to create games like Outer Wilds and Gris in such a way that they help those who connect with the story and music to heal in some way, but this was certainly the case for me.

Why Gabby for this piece? Because of my HCs for them according to the Refraction/Postcards verse: Loneliness and loss, invalidation and being misunderstood, helplessness and guilt, have driven them to isolate and repress themself both physically and emotionally. Despite these things, Gabbro is still a subject to the need for connection, but fear holds them back from reaching out or allowing themself to be vulnerable.

I hope by the end of the story, Gabby will have been freed from the burden of guilt, and find the strength to let others in again despite the fear of disappointing or being disappointed.

[noah-wyles]

spin this wheel

you're now this mythical creature, congrats!

how do you feel?

i love it!!!

i like it

it's okay i suppose...

why would you do this to me?

i hate it!!!!!

nuanced answer / i don't know

Voting ended onMay 17, 2025