being anti-amatonormativity in a romance centered world is like watching half the people you know put all their eggs in one basket and then drop the basket and all their eggs break and they’re crying and swearing they’re never gonna do that again and then a month later they have all new eggs in a new basket and they tell you the problem was they didn’t have a strong enough basket or fresh enough eggs and then they drop the fucking basket again.
(this post is about putting all your time, energy, and care into one relationship, about staking all your happiness on a romantic relationship, effectively making the entirety of your joy and stability dependent on one person who could exit your life for any number of reasons no matter how great the relationship seems. it’s about the societal expectation to build your entire social life around one long term relationship, putting all your eggs in that basket, so to speak, instead of tending to larger social network and maintaining a variety of strong connections so that even if one very important relationship comes to an end, you won’t be losing your whole social life in one fell swoop.)
the bad thing about having unhealthy habits due to mental illness, is when you DO do something healthy style you can't brag about about it because then people will then know you've been doing it yucky style all along. Like you can't brag you changed your sheets or brushed your teeth because then ppl will be like oh did you not brush your teeth regularly before? Thats yucky disgusting! So you just gotta keep it to yourself. And be proud alone, I suppose.
When Castiel shows up at Dean’s bar in Heaven, Dean immediately runs to him, punches him, and says “that’s for dying on me.” Then, before Cas can recover, Dean grabs him by the lapels of his trenchcoat and kisses him. They break apart, Cas wide-eyed and reeling, and Dean whispers into the inch of space between them “That’s for loving me, too”
Im convinced Cas pretends not to know certain human things to keep people he doesn’t like away
-like he somehow acquired and learned to use a cellphone all on his own and called Sam as early as season 5
-he learned to drive when he lost his wings
-his angel army had a whole control room setup and bartholomew’s facial recognition software did not phase him one bit
-he somehow found an exacto knife when he needed one and proceeded to carve sigils on his chest
-he managed to stay hidden from angels, demons, BMOL when on the run with Kelly
but the moment you need him to do something he doesn’t want to, he suddenly has no idea how the world works. he turns into a cute little meow meow who can barely tell you his own name. 10/10 the bastard is playing everyone all the time
i miss s5 cas he was so bitchy and intense and badass and autistic. he never blinked and he talked to dean from 3 inches away and he was rebelling against heaven and he branded enochian on his friends ribs and he found a liquor store and he drank it and he absolutely wrecked shop in knife fights and he carved banishing sigils into his own chest and he called raphael his bitch and he ate a million cheeseburgers and he never understood references and i love him so so so much <3
If I said that I've been planning an Actors AU where Dean is a really successful actor, but recently he's been cast as the lead in a load of action movies and his agent (Gabriel) doesn't want him to get typecast, so he agrees for Dean to star in something totally different... A Western Romance movie that's due to release for next year's Valentines Day.
The studio behind it thinks that it's going to be a big hit - the romance genre is making a lot of money right now, and a Western Romance released on Valentines Day starring Dean Winchester as one of the romantic leads is almost guaranteed to get them huge box office success. But! They're having trouble casting the right person to star alongside him as the other romantic lead.
The studio hasn't really got anyone specifically in mind for the part, so they've called in a bunch of actors who got through auditions and callbacks to have a chemistry read with Dean......
There's a lot of money riding on this, and a lot of a romance movie's success is largely due to the chemistry between the leads, so they're very invested in who to cast for this other role. Which is why the studio execs, the director, head writer, and casting director are all going to be sitting in the room to watch the chemistry reads.
No pressure.
Dean thinks being in a romance movie is kinda lame, but he's a professional and he will do. his. job.
Anyway, he reads his lines with a few different actors - Cassie, Lisa, Pamela, Tessa... and he thinks he's had chemistry with them all. (He thinks he has chemistry with everyone though.)
The last actor to be called in is announced as 'Castiel' and Dean is just thinking, 'huh weird name', when he's stunned speechless as a guy walks in.
Uh. No. Absolutely not. He's not starring in a romance movie with a guy!
But the room is full of top studio execs (including Crowley) and the very famous director of the movie (Balthazar) and he really can't make a fuss if he wants to keep working in the industry. It's not that he's homophobic or anything, he just doesn't personally, as a straight man (yeah okay) want to be act as a gay character. But Dean does his job and he grits his teeth and reads his lines.
He thinks it goes really really badly.
This Castiel dude is so weird - he keeps holding really intense eye contact, and then Dean gets kind of twitchy about it, so he keeps slipping out of the eye contact and looking down at his nose (not his lips. not his lips). And like, who does this guy thinks he is - he's performing the stage directions during a chemistry read, who does he think he's impressing?? So Dean matches his energy and acts right back.
By the end of the scene their characters are supposed to be leaning in for a light kiss, but somehow that's changed into something way more dramatic - Castiel is holding onto his shoulder with one hand, the other has tipped his chin up. One of Dean's hands has found its way into his hair somehow (when did that happen) and the other is curled around his waist.
The script ends there so Castiel steps back and thanks the room for their time.
Dean is left reeling, breathing heavily, and feels kinda like he's been left hanging.
Gabriel gives him double thumbs up from across the room while the execs all clap, and Castiel excuses himself from the room as they talk excitedly amongst themselves.
Who does that guy think he is?????
Dean is convinced after all that 'over-acting' there's no way that Castiel will get the role. They had no chemistry at all.
Guess who's starring in the Western Romance with Dean??
ofc the internet is buzzing with this new gay cowboy romance movie and they all think there's a secret thing going on between the two lead actors. Which there isn't!! ...... (Until there is)
Cas deliberately pushes Dean's buttons while they're in scenes together, because he knows how much Dean didn't want him to get the role in the first place (also why he played up at the chemistry read) so they're both as bad as each other honestly.
So now Dean finds Castiel difficult to work with and complains about him all the time to Gabriel (also Cas's cousin - he's the one that got him into the casting call in the first place by pulling some strings).
Much to Dean's dismay they have to work with an intimacy coordinator (Charlie) during their intimate scenes, and he seems to be the only one bothered by all of this!! But he can't say anything to anyone but Gabe because he doesn't want it to get around that Dean Winchester has a problem playing a gay character (because he doesn't okay! It's just that this Castiel guy is getting under his skin!!!) Dean is practically hissing he's so mad about this whole situation (he's lying to himself).
HOWEVER
as time goes on, and they work so closely together, Dean comes to some pretty life altering revelations about himself and his sexuality and just how fond of his costar he is.
they spend a lot of time with each other (especially during the press tour - Dean loves it, Cas hates it), they come to respect each other, their acting of having feelings for each other becomes real, they practice lines in each other's trailers, the movie is a big big success! The enemies become lovers !!!!
saw a post about this earlier but it made me think: tumblr really is the only social media site where I go on and have a good time and then carry on with my day. I know it's completely curated because there are some awful people here but that (the curation) in itself is a privilege of the site. Every other social media site is designed to make you angry for more engagement
I have had a lot of evil people say to me that nothing taste as good as skinny feels and every time im like no im pretty sure food tastes really super good actually
saw a post about this earlier but it made me think: tumblr really is the only social media site where I go on and have a good time and then carry on with my day. I know it's completely curated because there are some awful people here but that (the curation) in itself is a privilege of the site. Every other social media site is designed to make you angry for more engagement
