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@carrillcs
“ I’m Cam. I am a ballerina, but I always wanted to play ball instead... um.. what else? God, I don’t know what to say to make myself seem interesting. I guess... I’m still trying to find myself, and I just... think this could help, so I’d really like a chance to shine the way I want to shine. ” | LIZETH SELENE, 22, SHE/THEY, PENNED BY ALICIA.
“— She’s in the window in her pink dress, radiant, transparent, lost —”
— Jack Kerouac, from Book Of Sketches (via violentwavesofemotion)
She’d been having trouble sleeping. That wasn’t uncommon for Cam, usually when she was away from home she couldn’t sleep a wink... but she didn’t stay away weeks at a time. It didn’t help having to share a room, they’d never had to share a room before. The exhaustion was setting in, and while they were attempting to get a workout in, they had somehow... passed out sitting up against the wall, ‘taking a breather’. Hearing footsteps, she sat straight up, immediately wishing she had pretended to stay asleep. They hadn’t had a real conversation with Reese since the first night. She’d been avoiding being alone any rooms with her, too nervous to even make eye contact with the woman. Playing back the kiss, as she had over and over again, it had occurred to her that it was probably all for the views... or maybe just a drunken thought. But knowing that didn’t make them feel any less awkward. “ Feeling out of it today, ” they explained with a small laugh. “ My body just kind of... had to reboot for a minute there, I think. ”
@thereesekensington
theislakensington·:
“thank you,” she smiles warmly, and has to resist the urge to laugh at the way the other’s nose scrunches at what isla imagines must be the thought of an unpleasant roommate. “hopefully! if not, the sun loungers look pretty comfortable,” it’s an attempt at a joke, her gaze shifting pointedly to a row of sun loungers set up around the pool. “or the couch in the living room. it’s huge.” probably so as to fit more of them on it, she guesses, thinking back to the previous season. “i haven’t, no. i’ll probably go on the lookout for them a bit later.” it would be helpful to speak with them a bit before having to address the possibility of sharing a bed.
. . .
“ They do. I wonder how many people will have the same idea. Maybe we should start calling dibs right now, ” they joked. They would never be able to stand up for themself ; Cam was more likely to sleep in a bush outside than start conflict over a bed or couch. “ I guess we just have to get used to all the unknowns. It’s a matter of perspective, though, right? It could be scary, or it could be fun. ” Or both. For them, probably both.
open starter
lennox walked into her room and shuddered. minor flashbacks of college life came back to her while she rummaged through her things. she took out her guitar and sat on her bed while strumming a little. she was already having regrets about being there, but there was no going back now. humming while she played the strings gently, she stopped when she realized there was someone standing in the open doorway. “uh, hello? are you gonna continue staring or are you going to introduce yourself?”
“ I’m... I’m sorry, I just... I thought that sounded really pretty. ” God, Cam, don’t be so weird. She knew she should have kept walking, but when she heard the soft music, she’d just stopped in her tracks. Not even realizing they might’ve came across as rude. “ I always thought guitar would be, like, really cool. I learned a little piano, but my dads were more interested in dance, so I didn’t keep up with the practice... ” And now they were rambling. Shit.
dixie-bcnnett·: ·
“Not at all, doll. Sometimes the quiet can be peaceful.” Dixie reassured with a bright smile, though she wasn’t sure If Camilla could even see her features clearly in the moonlight. Dixie was in her element, she loved the great outdoors. Growing up in the country was going to be advantage for her this challenge. At least she hoped so. She didn’t wear anything heavy just her jean shorts and a plain white t-shirt with her trusty cowboy boots. Though now she shivered slightly wishing she would’ve brought a jacket. Dixie was just thankful she had her boots on as they trekked through the mud and broken branches. Her boots could take the beating at least. Dixie followed by Cam’s side closely, trusting their sense of direction. “Regret? No, never. I know we don’t each other that well Camilla but I can tell you one thing. We’re gonna win’.”
. . .
She had definitely lucked up being chosen by Dixie, Cam thought. She at least looked like she knew what she was doing, more so than her, and anyone walking around with cowboy boots must’ve spent some time outside. “ It sure can, ” they agreed, a smile on their face. It felt like she was getting along with everyone pretty well, maybe even making some friends. This was the kind of challenge that seemed like it could either bring people closer or turn them against each other, and they truly hoped it wouldn’t turn Dixie against them somehow. They didn’t want to make enemies, and especially not out of the person that had picked them. “ I like the way you think. Let’s show them how it’s done! ”
alsoalessandro:
“ we have everything , “ perhaps not but they weren’t living without the necessities and for aless , a coffee machine was one . he was a caffeine person , it pumped him up at the start of every day , the pooling darkness a draw , an attraction . he grins at her inability to name what was missing but instead of answering the question to point it out , what seemed obvious to him clearly invisible to her . “ you will know when you see it , “ he says before pulling out his house phone , an angry red case cladding it as he turns on camera . “ now let’s take a picture to commemorate our first evening before it all goes to hell , “ he’s already snapping doing numerous facial expressions and poses to ensure he had all the best angles for the shows instagram grid .
It seemed so broad and perhaps a little ominous. For someone that didn’t go to house parties they couldn’t comprehend if he meant a keg, a karaoke machine, or Zac Efron himself --- who, don’t get her started, she’d probably freak out all over again at how close she was to the Zac Efron... even if she was more of an Ashley Tisdale fan. “ Oh, right, ” they nodded, quickly adjusting their hair and looking into the camera. It was a good idea, they should start snapping pictures. Unsure how this whole show and eliminations worked, they didn’t know how long they’d be here, and they may want something to remember this journey by. “ The lighting is cool, ” they throwing up a peace sign and a smile.
“Older siblings can be pretty cool. My sister is the smartest and the toughest. Half of my hobbies are borrowed from her. I’m very lucky to have her.” As a child, she often felt erased by Fernanda’s shadow. The eldest Vasconcelos shined so bright, there was no room for Carla to impress teachers and family members. The only person to cast away Carla’s insecurities was Fernanda herself, always finding her little sister’s talents and gently pushing her to the spotlight. “Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m Carla. There’s a lot of names and faces and stories, we haven’t had the time to get to know them all yet.” She tried to discover a little bit about each person beforehand, but the long list discouraged her. Maybe that was for the best, so she could meet them without any expectations.
“ I’m sure she’s lucky to have you too, ” she smiled. Family, though hers was small, was so very important to them. It was part of the worry with being here. The last thing she wanted to do was let her parents down ; they were her favorite people in the world. “ Well, it’s nice to meet you. I’ll remember it now, I promise! I’m Cam. Um, Camilla. I think there’s another Cam too. ” They nodded, looking around them and feeling those jitters again, they kept coming and going. After talking to someone for a little while they would start to warm up, then they would remember how many people were around they didn’t know, and the nerves would set back in. “ It’s like... the first day of school all over again. ”
quaalude:
“ let’s just say they’re not exactly the most reasonable people in the world. ” definitely an understatement but bodhi didn’t want to say more, commitment to having fun would be ruined if he just unloaded all his soap opera family drama to someone he just met. “ bachelor in paradise… ” he echoed quietly, amusement gradually becoming more and more apparent as he imagined how it could be different from the more familiar shows like the bachelor and the bachelorette. “ hey, your dad might be onto something there… i fucking love def poetry jams. but i’m also all about the best of both worlds, so i enjoy both trash reality tv and some good poetry. guess you can call me one of those bisexuals who have never made a single decision in their life… ” he laughed. “ but this bachelor for paradise… not necessary viewing for this reality show, right ? otherwise, i think i’m fucked. ”
. . .
“ Well, hey, maybe they won’t question it. ” One could hope. Just as she hoped it never came up with her dads. Twenty years from now someone would recognize them out for dinner, and then the secret would spill out, well after enough time had passed they couldn’t hold it over her anymore. She would say surprise! and they’d all laugh about it. Hopefully. “ I love poetry too, ” they smiled, they’d filled a notebook with it, but would be too embarrassed to share with anyone. It was just their own personal journal. “ We’re one in the same! ” Maybe she was just warming up to the new atmosphere, but Camilla had already decided she liked his energy. He was easy to talk to, and she couldn’t say that for everyone she’d met so far. “ I don’t think so. Can I tell you a secret? ” They giggled, voice lowered to a whisper as if there weren’t cameras and mics pointed at them from all directions. “ I didn’t even watch the first season of this show. ”
thereesekensington·:
when it came to power , reese was no stranger to possessing it , captivating an audience … but she did enjoy the weakness in others , the small instability and insecurity that she could smell from a mile off . like a bloodhound , she knew what she was looking for but there was no evil intent , her enjoyment and thrill not from any overarching desire for destruction … she just liked it . the response was enough , the stilted words , stunted conversational skills . her gaze still unwavering , her lips twitch just slightly into a deeper smile , creases in the corners as she raises her hands to slide against the skin of camilla’s neck slowly . “ i like to be the first , “ in every situation , her claim to life walking on unknown territory , a transfixion and certainty to her movements as their lips collide .
There was a lot of unexpected so far --- the last twenty four hours had been more of a rollercoaster than their entire life, and that wasn’t even an exaggeration. They were used to plans, schedules, spontaneity was an unknown they were just now dipping their toes into. It crossed her mind only briefly, people watching this at home, her dads watching this at home, but it was a flicker of a thought that she couldn’t focus on even if she wanted to. Reese wasn’t Cam’s first kiss, but may as well have been. She had no idea how she’d even stumbled into this, but, well, she’d be a fool to complain. Their hands fell limp and useless by their sides as their eyelids fell shut, melting into the woman’s lips.
dxrcymoore·:
Was this person born yesterday? How did she not comprehend the sheer enormity of what they’d signed up for. Even the nobodies that entered the house in season one, came out famous (or, infamous). Many of them now had brand deals with the likes of ASOS and Sephora. A dance camp? Do grown adults still go to those? “Maybe you could gaslight them into thinking you have a long lost twin they didn’t know about.” Darcy glanced towards the camera crew, fiddling with the mic was placed on her collar. “What’s the deal there anyway? Are they just too good for reality tv?”
. . .
“ I was adopted, ” they laughed, it may not be too far of a stretch... if they didn’t see this clip. “ Separated at birth. They’d go digging for my family tree so fast. ” Cam was rather impressionable, they supposed, which was part of the reason their fathers probably didn’t approve of them watching certain television shows ; worried they would get the wrong idea from some of the dramatic behavior. She liked to think she was smart enough to go through this and come out the other side the same person, but only time would tell. “ They just think it’s a... bad influence. ”
vclentinasr·:
Valentina couldn’t help but blink a few times, incredulity tainting her features as she looked at the other. “ Oh you sweet sweet child. “ The brunette hadn’t spoken to her father in years, and on the off chance that he found it in that stone of a heart of his to give a damn about his daughter? Well, it was safe to say that the opinions he had on her life choices stopped holding weight a long time ago. “ I couldn’t care less if my family finds out or not. “ She told them with an air of nonchalance, her shoulder lifting in a shrug. “ It’s your life, not theirs, they don’t have to love your choices. “
. . .
“ I know. You’re right. ” That was what Cam had told herself when she was accepted. Perhaps applying had been a moment of rebellion, of wanting more, but it wasn’t out of anger. It wasn’t trying to stick it to their dads. If anything it was... running away from the pressure. It was doing something for herself, even if she had no idea what she wanted. “ But how do you stop worrying about disappointing people? ” They wondered aloud. “ It’s so hard to just... not care. ”
mcritzatvrres·:
Her brows knitted together at the question, confusion lacing over fine features before thinking over her answer. She had told her parents she was doing something new and exciting and they likely believed it up to be that she had gotten a new job after leaving from her last for reasonings she couldn’t necessarily explain to them, skimming over the details to make it seem like she was just moving out of town. She had a very vague memory of telling one of her sisters that she was thinking of auditioning for a tv show and being told sourly that it’d never happen. Well, look at her now: comfortable and kissed under the Sun Francisco sun with a camera on her instead of drowning from the basics of her life back home. Lying wasn’t too bad, if one knew what to do with it. Her roommate, from what she could tell, did not share the same sentiment. “ On a scale of 1 to the Elmo Hellfire meme, how pissed do you think they’ll actually be? What if you win? Would they be pissed even then? ”
. . .
Cam couldn’t help but laugh at the question, a mental image of the meme popping into her head with one of her dad’s heads photoshopped onto it. “ Hopefully a three, realistically a... whatever a seven is on that scale. ” She knew they wouldn’t disown her or anything, they probably wouldn’t even raise their voices, but they would see it as a waste of time. A disappointment. And she was terrified of being a disappointment. “ Win? ” They repeated the word as if it was a language they couldn’t understand. Winning was not something Camilla could see happening for them. Reality shows called for cutthroat people or fan favorites, or both, and she didn’t think she would be either of the two. “ I think that would depend more what I did to win and less what the prize was. ”
theislakensington·:
isla smiles, waving away the other’s comment. “it’s no bother, i can be a bit of a rambler myself sometimes,” she says with a reassuring smile. “it’s nice to meet you as well. i’m isla.” the pool party is still rather lively around them, although they’re thankfully somewhat sheltered from the noise where they’re currently positioned. taking a sip of her wine, she briefly observes the scene before turning her attention back to the other. “have you met your roommate yet?” isla asks curiously.
. . .
“ That’s a beautiful name, ” she smiled, feeling at ease with Isla already. Too trusting, maybe, but there was something about her that didn’t seem as threatening as some of the others. “ Not yet. I hope they’re nice. ” They scrunched their nose slightly at the thought of having to deal with someone that may want to do with them ; or worse, just downright mean. “ I haven’t talked to many people yet. Have you met yours? ”
“ Is it bad that I kind of prefer it out here? ” Camilla asked with a soft laugh, tilting their head at the compass they were holding. It was so much quieter. Less stuffy. Unfortunately, she didn’t know much about wilderness exploration. She’d always wanted to go to summer camp, but her fathers insisted it was a waste of time. So the challenge was a fun surprise, not something they had expected, but now there was a weight on their shoulders. Out of everyone in the house, they never would’ve thought they’d be anyone’s first choice. “ I hope you don’t regret choosing me, ” they said after a moment, looking up at Dixie, “ I don’t know how good my sense of direction is. I’ve never had to put it to the test. ”
@dixie-bcnnett
camhemz·:
“nope and even they didn’t they wouldn’t give a fuck.” he said with a small shrug. harsh but true. his family couldn’t give less of a flying fuck about him. “well- one way to tell them that you’re all grown up and don’t need to be under their thumb anymore right?”
. . .
“ Oh, ” was all they said at first, unsure how to reply to that. They wouldn’t understand that. Their parents cared too much, at times. She didn’t want them to think she didn’t need them anymore, even if she was ‘ all grown up ’ --- “ I guess that’s... one way to look at it. ”
