Martha 4 Prez @casseroleofficial - Tumblr Blog

arabdoll

I’ve come to the conclusion that none of you fear god

regularlesbian

me addressing the huge fucking geese sleeping and shitting in front of the entrance to my college

dankmemesreasonforliving

a good gender neutral term to use is “fool”

onceiwashere

wolfgang amadeus mozart has been dead for 226 slutty, slutty years

bandmaiko

five-flats

WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART HAS BEEN DEAD FOR EXACTLY 226 SLUTTY, SLUTTY YEARS

edromyheart

My landlord came to fix an issue to day with the apartment. He looks around the living room at the decor and the newly painted walls.

In a heavy Russian accent: “Your wife have very good sense of style.”

Me: “Actually, I live here alone.”

Landlord: “Ah, homosexual. Figured. I live in the apartment under you.”

Me: 😳

itsaruse

haiikyuus-remade

tumblr flagged a post of a girl eating berries so fruit is for whores now reblog if youre a fruit eating whore

executiveoutcomes-deactivated20

*posts any picture*

tumblr:

hotvampireadjacent

http://clckhl.co/VIvWo9N

spooncryptid

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

The enjoyment I get from removing the wax packaging from a lil cheese wheel is immediately aligned with entertainment zoo animals get when they have to solve a puzzle or get into a box to find a treat. I’m just an ape and the babybel cheese people are my enrichment team

instantfrost

I think about this post a lot. I talk about it a lot. It’s to the point where, at work when we don’t like someone, we go, “that person is NOT on my enrichment team” because apparently the biggest insult, we think, is that that person is not successfully zooing us.

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

this is incredible thank you for telling me

mydeddyalabama

when the couple on house hunters chooses the house that you specifically told them not to choose

m4ge-deactivated20210331

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream

90stvqueen

you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”