by trope
friends to lovers | strangers to lovers | caretaker | CEO/business | coffee shop | exes to lovers | lgbtqia+
by au
best friend's brother/brother's best friend | college | dystopian | hybrid | mafia | parent | roommates | soulmate | sports | monsters and supernatural
Description: drabble, fluff, hurt/comfort (mostly comfort), established relationship
Although this fic is gen, I ask that minors do not interact with this blog.
Summary: You adore your boyfriend, but sometimes he has trouble remembering that fact. That's okay, though- you'll always be there to remind him.
Shoutout to @lovetaroandtaemin, my beloved girlfriend, who made me want to cuddle them so badly I wrote a couple that could. This fic is for you, my loveđ
You had known Chan for less than a year, but somehow, you felt you had learnt him. You saw every little mannerism of his, every little habit, filing it all into a little folder of your brain in between little drawn out hearts.
His laugh, his smile, his little phrases, each and every one of them was precious to you. But recently, something had felt off. He was more reserved, almost avoiding you. Heâd come to you, ready to launch into another adorable tirade about his game, and then pause, close his mouth, and say nothing at all. It was like he was closing off to you.
âChan. We need to talk.â You pulled him aside as he arrived home from work.
âHow can I help? Did I mess something up? Forget something?â Chanâs eyes widened in panic, his words coming out in rushed breaths.
âCalm. Deep breaths. Youâre not in trouble.â you reassured.
Chan paused for a second, inhaling sharply.
âNo, something must be up. Was it the trash? I know I havenât been good at taking it out lately, and I really am try-â you pecked him on the lips, cutting off his words off abruptly. You made a soft shushing sound, reaching back to tuck a strand of hair behind his ears.
âIâm not mad. Iâm trying to figure out if Iâve done something to upset you. You havenât been talking with me lately, and I wanted to check in.â
He tilted his head at you, looking uncannily close to a confused kitten. âYou want me to talk? I thought it was bothering you?â
âWhat? No! Babe, I love it when you get excited!â
âWhy?â
You paused. It seemed such a simple truth, that you had no idea how to explain it. Being able to see him be happy was a gift, one you treasured for every moment you had together. But somehow, Chan had never seen it the same way. What invoked adoration in you, made him feel like a constant bother.
How does one even begin to explain that he will never be a bother, and is in fact the opposite? How does one explain that he is loved fully and unconditionally, not just for the parts of him he likes but the parts he hates?
âBecause itâs you. I love you. All of you. Please donât take that away from me by hiding yourself from my eyes.â
Chris blinked furiously, in a desperate attempt to fight off impending tears. You silently moved closer, engulfing him in a hug you werenât sure you ever wanted to end.
cuteeee đ I feel like chanâs absolutely the type to need to be reminded that heâs very lovable. he seems to carry so much. I just want to wrap him in a blanket and kiss his forehead
...the one where chan arrives home just in time to kiss you to sleep.
this one is for @knowbites <333
chan and his big feet try hard, but they're never really quiet. you hear him before the door clicks like itâs trying not to wake the house. considering the house has you and a little black cat inside, it's already up.
you roll over, one eye barely open, the other still dreaming.
there's a rustle, a sigh, the sound of a jacket hitting the back of the chair, a whispered swear under his breath when he hits his toe against a piece of furniture. classic chan.
he enters the space where you lie and immediately steps into the bathroom, fresh clothes tucked under his arm. the shower starts with a soft spray, steam curling under the door like it's saying hi. like it's chan's way of saying he missed you.
you let your arm flop across the empty side of the bed.
warm now, because you always leave the blanket turned down for him.
like a note.
like: come home soon, okay?
he does. eventually. because home means you.
he pads into the room with damp hair and tired bones and that goofy boyish smile that shows up just for you because he knows you're awake.
âhello, mysterious lump in my bed,â he whispers with a giggle.
âare you accepting snuggles or are you strictly here to haunt me?â
you stretch one arm out without opening your eyes.
âbring offerings first.â
âwhat kind?â
âcompliments. forehead kisses. percy.â
the black cat, as if summoned, meows sleepily from the foot of the bed. the kind of meow that says he's disappointed by chan's attempt at keeping it down when he entered the house.
chan gasps.
âbetrayed by my own son.â
you giggle, and thatâs all it takes for him to crawl under the covers, a little cold and a whole lot adorable, wrapping himself around you like a sloth that missed you all day.
âwhy do your toes feel like icicles?â you mumble, letting him settle into you.
âbecause i walked through the tundra to get to you.â
âbaby, you parked in the garage.â
âemotionally, it was a tundra.â
you let him press his face into your neck and inhale dramatically.
âyou smell like the lavender detergent," you mumble without having to sniff him closely.
âyou smell like sleep and the leftover scent of your conditioner. and love. and also possibly⊠cat fur?â
âhe sheds when heâs proud,â you yawn before kissing chan lazily. âyou shouldâve told him he was handsome.â
âi did. he blinked at me slowly. i think iâm forgiven for the tuna thing from monday," he mumbles against your lips, very dedicated to the kiss and telling you about percy's recent behaviour towards him.
chan shifts closer, lips now brushing the shell of your ear.
âdid you miss me or just the foot warmer function?â
âmostly the foot warmer. but also your stupid jokes. and your arms. and that thing where you kiss my shoulder like itâs the most interesting place in the world.â
he kisses your shoulder now, slow.
âit is the most interesting place in the world. all the best dreams start there.â
you giggle again, sleepy and full of that dumb, glowing joy that makes your chest feel fizzy.
he rubs your back lazily, half a circle, then stops before kissing the corner of your mouth.
âi told hyunjin i missed your laugh and he told me to write a poem about it and sell it on etsy.â
âi would buy that. do you think it comes with a scented candle?â, you ask against his lips.
âprobably in the scent of âemotional stability and forehead kisses.ââ
âi love you all silly and tired like this.â you whisper, sinking into him as your words start to slur with sleep.
he smiles into your hair, kissing your hairline now. god, this man and his kisses will be the death of you.
âsame. now go to sleep before i start reciting sonnets in my worst australian accent.â
you snort, already half gone.
outside, the city hums like background music.
inside, he holds you like a pillow he never wants to give back.
and just before you drift completely, you hear him say, quiet and grinning:
âgoodnight, lovebug. dream a little dream of me. featuring lots of making out. and percy.â
you fall asleep with a smile. like you always do when you're in his arms.
hi hello this is my #1 delulu fic because what do you mean their black catâs name is percy?? my black catâs name is percy! (percy tax below the cut for obvious reasons) this is so cute and so soft and hello where do I go to collect a bang chan of my own please and thank you
"i'm gonna get going", wonwoo says as he zips his backpack.
"yeah, okay", but you don't even look at him.
"i'll text you once i get there", he tries out, testing the waters. you still don't look up from your phone.
"okay."
he bites back a laugh by pressing his lips together.
"i'm leaving that book you wanted to read, it's on my desk."
"thank you."
wonwoo knows. he knows you're just trying to play it cool and pretend you're not sad - and maybe ignoring him is the best way -, but he can't buy that today. not today. so he walks up to you, standing in front of you on the couch, his tall and broad frame blocking the light that's coming from the window.
"are you mad at me?", but he knows the answer. not at him, maybe just at korea's government.
you finally look at wonwoo, bright eyes staring at him through your eyelashes. his hair is way too short - vernon's buzzcut kind of short -, his glasses are a bit crooked and he has no business looking that good in a plain black t-shirt.
ugh, damn jeon wonwoo.
"i'm not mad", you sigh. "i'm just..."
you shrug, but he gets the feeling.
"come here, let me say bye to you."
"i don't want to. you're not going anywhere, i don't know what you're talking about. for as long as i'm concerned, you're just traveling with your members for a while."
"that fantasy could easily work if mingyu wouldn't be pesting you while i'm gone", wonwoo chuckles. "but i'll tell him to go easy on you, to indulge you."
you roll your eyes, getting up from the couch and hugging wonwoo as tight as you can. i mean, it's not like he's gonna spend years away; you know that as soon as he's finished with training, he'll come back to you (and to mingyu, for that matter). but still, it feels a bit bittersweet, doesn't it?
"call me everyday", you tell him, your cheek pressed against his chest.
"you know i can't, babe. but i'll do my best to contact you."
your tiny and defeated 'okay' makes wonwoo chuckle again. he plants a kiss on the top of your head, letting himself smell your shampoo too. as always, it smells like home to him.
and, fuck, he isn't even out that door yet, but he can't wait to come back home already.
a/n: go and serve well, wonwoo. hope you get to rest a bit, we'll be waiting for you. i love you. â€ïžđ
â in which you forget that your hot housemate follows you on twitter.
đđŒđżđ±đă»1.1k
đœđźđ¶đżđ¶đ»đŽă»roommate!felix x gn!streamer!reader
đŽđČđ»đżđČđă»fluff, flirting, kind of an smau, implied friends to lovers, humor if u count jeongin being a piece of shit
đź/đ»ă»saw this tweet the other day and it was so painfully lix coded that i knew i had to write something asap. contains a tiny bit of gaming jargon but is hopefully comprehensible. ENJOY âĄ
y/n ê°áą. .áąê±âËâč
@ y/nxx
if someone brings you fresh cut fruit to your table when you're gaming, they either like LIKE you or it's your mom
11:23 A.M.ă»Oct. 2023ă»220.2K Views
bokkie đŁ liked your post.
âMy tweet?â
You read aloud the newest text in your chatroom, and your face brightens when you remember the one in question.
âOh, about the fruitâno, itâs so true though. And I love my mom, don't get me wrong, but I have an inkling she did it to guilt trip me." You change your posture and adopt your best motherly tone of voice. "âThis is your tenth consecutive hour wasting your young adulthood in front of that damn screen. I am now going to hand deliver apple slices straight to your mouth.â That kind of vibe, y'know?"
A slew of messages follows your anecdote, but it is a comment from one of your moderators that catches your eye first:
je0ng1n: what about the other option tho đ
You groan at the sight of his username. âMan, why are you always here? Don't you have a job?"
je0ng1n: iâm on break
je0ng1n: taking a dump
je0ng1n: ungrateful bitch
You brandish a middle finger to the camera. âHope the dump sucks."
je0ng1n: HEY
je0ng1n: donât even joke about that :(
An involuntary cackle precedes your next words. âIf youâre actually wondering, though, the only person whoâs brought me fruit while Iâm playing video games is indeed my mother. Heartbreaking, I know.â
At this, the steady flow of messages morphs into a gallery of depressed cat emoticons; your audience never fails to impress you with their way with words.
âBut if someone other than your disappointed parent is bringing you fruit,â you go on, âthey might as well get on one knee in the process, honestly. That's such an adorable, loving thing to do.â
Suddenly, the words MATCH FOUND splash across your monitor, and you move your cursor to accept the game inviteâonly to be met with a pop-up window and a familiar error sound that grates on your ears like screeching tires.
You know how this story ends: the lights in your mouse go dark, and you look on in dejected silence.
je0ng1n: LMFAOOOOO
je0ng1n: broâs mouse definitely just exploded again
âYou guessed it," you sigh. âHang tight for a sec, guys."
Half an hour ago, you couldâve sworn you heard sneakers being kicked off, a set of keys falling against plastic. Now, you pull one side of your headphones off and roll your chair a few feet backward, calling through your half-open door: âLix, are you home?â
You pick up on a soft clunk that sounds like metal hitting woodâthe cutting board, maybe?âand then your housemate's low, accented answer bounces off the walls of your shared hallway.
âYeah, you alright?â
âThe mouse,â you say helplessly.
âAh.â Itâs not the first time youâve summoned him for this. âBe right there.â
A few seconds later, you remember to tack on a hurried disclaimer: âIâm live, by the way!â
âI know.â
This brings a bashful smile to your face, though the expression quickly turns to one of pure dismay when you return to your desk and witness the disastrous state of your chat.
Felix has become a regular guest on your stream by now, always popping in to show you a TikTok or ask for your opinion on a new pair of jeans or simply give your camera an awkward waveâbut he may as well own your channel with how completely and unequivocally he has captured the hearts of your viewers. Theyâre convinced heâs the sexiest person to ever grace the earth, with his chiseled features and coffee-colored eyes; with a grin that could set entire estates on fire and a voice that could scrape the nadir of the Grand Canyon.
Do you agree? Absolutely.
Do you have any intention of voicing this sentiment, so long as youâre splitting rent with him? Absolutely the hell not.
Another of Jeonginâs messagesâGET ME HIS NUMBER OR I GET VIOLENTâinspires you to minimize the stream window before Felix gets here. Itâs for the best.
A few moments later, the door opens, and the air shifts inside your room. A hand comes to rest on the top of your head; a familiar silhouette appears in your periphery. There is a fond grin plastered across your face and a bright greeting sitting readily on the tip of your tongue.
But then, Felix places a plate of freshly cut fruit in the empty space to the left of your keyboardâhere, he hums, the sound falling against the shell of your ear like a drop of melted chocolate. And the gears of your brain grind to a complete stop.
There is no further acknowledgment; no supplementary explanation for what he's just done. He simply picks up your mouse and gets to work.
The words of your tweet swim dizzyingly before your eyes, not unlike those halos of stars and birds that revolve around disoriented cartoon characters. And youâre suddenly, achingly aware of your roommate's arm nudging against yours as he tinkers away; of the aromas of vanilla and laundry detergent that always come with his proximity; of the heat thatâs risen to your face, and the plethora of questions that have surfaced to your mind.
A soft huff of laughter follows a gentle utterance of your name, and you snap out of your trance. Felixâs eyes are glinting with amusement when you meet them.
âItâs been recalibrated,â he says, handing back your mouse. âJust give it a few minutes.â
Your fingertips brush over his palm when you accept the object, and even this blink of contact has your heart performing an elaborate hopscotch routine across the plane of your chest.
Itâs either your mom, orâŠ
âThank you,â you mumble, finally retrieving your larynx from the bottom of the Atlantic.
âAnytime,â Felix returns, and you know he means it. âYou need a duo, by the way?"
âYes, please.â
He gives you a warm smile at this, and thereâs a hint of something elseâsomething newâin the curve of his lips. âGive me two.â And heâs gone as quickly as he'd come.
You will never know how Felix slips his phone out of his pocket the second he emerges from your room, his pulse hounding his ears as he turns a nervous gaze upon his screen.
There is now a supersonic blur of messages saturating your chatroom, a colorful cacophony of moving emotes and capital letters, but he is focused wholly on the person in front of the camera and how you slowly lift a hand to your mouth, deathly silent despite your every viewer demanding your comment on the matter, your sanguine cheeks visible even through the gaps of your fingers.
That is all he needs to know.
Felix sinks into the leather of his gaming chair and bends to power on his computer. Only after a deep breath blows past his lips does his smile start to stretch into a grin, every bit as embarrassed as it is relieved.
je0ng1n: no way
je0ng1n: no fucking way
je0ng1n: my heart fluttered
je0ng1n: wtf
je0ng1n: howâd you pull HIM??
y/nxx has removed je0ng1n as a moderator of this channel.
đčđ¶đžđČđ± đđ”đ¶đ đđŒđżđž? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other works here. thanks so much for the support âĄ
Okay first of all: this is one of the cutest things Iâve ever read. You accomplish so much in such a small package! I love this duo so much oh my gosh.
Second: I literally cackled at the end. I also love the reader x jeongin duo đ
đđŒđżđ±đă»1.2k / đœđźđ¶đżđ¶đ»đŽă»chan x gn!reader / đŽđČđ»đżđČđă»fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship, berry being the perfect girl she is. inspired by these bubble messages and @cosmic-railwayxo's treachery. (love u deni)
đŹđČ:đŻđČ â âWhereâs my baby, hm?â
This is the question on Chanâs lips the moment he lets go of the bedroom door, closed with agonizing caution as to not wake the figure still curled up under the duvet inside.
Itâs early. Early enough so the walls are colored a rich beige by new rays of sunlight, so his footsteps are the only sound reverberating around the hallways when he commences his search. Early enough to evidence how he was only bestowed a few hours of sleep before waking up with a budding headache and leaden eyelids.
But he doesnât mind the lack of rest, not this time. Not when thereâs a wad of love with a freckled snout and floppy ears under the same roof for the first time in too long.
âBerry?â Chan calls, his voice tattered and low, like sandpaper. He rakes his eyes over the spots he remembers to be her favorite. Maybe theyâve changed since he was last home. Maybe everything has changed since he was last home.
The thought causes a familiar pang to go off within him, poignant and powerful, but the quiet scuffle of paws against hardwood takes the edge off the guilt straightaway.
Chan finds the beginnings of a smile on his lips before she even rounds the corner, and when she does, well. His grin might as well split his face down the middle. Heâs on his knees in seconds, outstretched hands rediscovering home in the puppyâs silky fur as she clambers onto him with blown pupils and excited pants.
His adoring coos of her name falter into muted laughter, which then fragments into a sob. His vision narrows to his precious girl and then starts to blur. When Berry climbs up to give his cheek a few happy licks, sheâs fascinated by its saltiness.
You emerge from the bedroom a little over an hour later. Sleeping is hard enough when youâre jetlagged, and even harder when thereâs only mattress where you remember Chanâs warm solidity to be. The fabric of Chanâs hoodie suppresses your vocalization of his name as you ungracefully pull it over your torso, still struggling to rouse your body from sleep.
Your beckon produces no response. You wrap a hand around the nearest door frame and peek your head into the living room, a little more alert now.
âChan? Baby?â
You feel silly. How many visits has it been for you to still feel this nervous, wandering around Chanâs family home? Yet you undoubtedly are, whether because of your absentee boyfriend or that his whole family is a few walls away. You pad through the silent abode with mounting trepidation and intense care to not make any more sound than necessary.
Then you reach the family room and instantly come to a standstill, hands drifting to your sides, features deliquescing to a soft smile.Â
Lying on the nearest couch is your boyfriend, head propped up on top of his elbow, his fluttering lashes and gently oscillating shoulders indicating that heâs asleep. You canât see his face below his eyes, as he has his nose nuzzled into the Cavalier spaniel resting securely in his arms, snoring tacitly into his sleeve, slumbering as deeply as her human companion.
Youâve been stumbling upon Chan sleeping in unexpected places for the better part of two years now, but you still liquefy every time as if itâs the first. These are the moments, youâve come to realize, when you can care for him in ways he would never let you while conscious: a lift of his laptop off his thighs, a brush of your lips against his hairline, a cardigan draped lightly over his back. These are the moments when you understand in full how far youâve come together, for him to trust you with his exhaustion with such transparency, to be so vulnerable as to leave you with memories of him that heâll never have.
Despite your prolonged experience, itâs hard to describe what exactly youâre feeling in this moment. The mere mention of Berry has always dissipated the shadows that veil his face, has always chased off the burdens that cling to his spine. How do you put it into words, seeing your happiness at his happiest?
It suddenly occurs to you that the window beside them is cracked open. That, and you spotted extra quilts in the top shelf of Chanâs closet last night.
Chanâs eyelids lift when he feels the gentle weight of a blanket fall upon his body; so do the corners of his lips, when the culprit materializes before him. Sitting on the edge of the couch, a hand hovering over his frame, face creased into a flinch.
âSorry,â you whisper, closing the distance between your fingers and the curve of his neck. The pad of your thumb moves over his cheekbone like a willow branch skimming water. âI didnât think that would wake you up.â
Both of you up, you mentally amend, seeing as Berry has noticed your presence and is wagging her tail with enough vigor for it to thump against Chanâs chest. He lets her wriggle out of his arms and into yours; you emit a noise of glee and gather her into you.
If only you had seen the expression he wears then, watching your eyes scrunch closed at the frenzied kisses she presses to your face. His first love and his very last.
âDonât apologize,â he answers. âIâm the one who should be sorry for leaving you in bed, I justâŠâ
His voice trails off, but he knows by the softness in your irises when they meet his that you already know.
You move like clockwork. Chan presses up into the back of the couch, the quiltâs edge lifted in wordless invitation. It is your chest that Berry burrows into this time, the top of her head sliding into the space between your chin and the sofaâs cushion. It is Chanâs chest that youâre folded into, the arms around your waist like the coziest of cabins in a sun-spattered wood. It is the back of your neck that he nuzzles his nose into, but not before he litters gossamer kisses across the expanse of skin, as if printing the notes to a lullaby he knows well.
Everything is warm, so warm, so right, and jetlag starts to feel like a distant trouble.
You open your mouth while teetering on the cusp of a dream.
âBaby?âÂ
He hums into you, listening.
âAlways be happy, okay?â
You donât notice the solitary tear that traverses the bridge of his nose, lands in the cotton of your hood, and dyes the bunched-up fabric a few shades darker. You donât notice how his embrace around you tightens marginally, like how oneâs eyes canât help but find their dearest possession when the buildingâs on fire.
âOkay,â he whispers, and kisses your nape once more. Your and Chanâs eyes close together. Berry licks your chin again, then follows suit.
(Another hour later, Chanâs parents walk into the family room. They decide to go out to breakfast for fear of making too much noise in the kitchen, Chanâs mother blotting away tears as she ducks into shotgun, Chanâs father laughing at her sentimentality while blinking back his own.
Another few hours later, Hannah takes maybe fifty-some photographs of the triad of unmoving heaps occupying their couch. Then she grumbles at Berry for being dead asleep at eleven in the morning: âThose two arrived here from across the world yesterday. Whatâs your excuse?â)
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listen, I'm sold on any fic that features our number one best girl berry. the fact that this one is also absolutely fucking adorable is just icing on the cake
one in the morning â kim seungmin. roommate au. fluff. a little slice of life.
roommate seungmin takes care of you when you catch a cold (1.0k words)
â(Name). Wake up.â
Itâs quiet in your shared apartment, save for Seungminâs harsh whispers jolting you from your trance of sleep.
Thereâs a trace of grogginess in his voice, like heâd forced himself awake, youâre not quite sure. Itâs a little difficult to focus on anything when every surface of your skin feels like itâs burning.
â(Name).â He tries again, cold hand tapping against your arm. Heâs gentle with his actions. He knows it wouldnât take much to jolt you awake in your state.
âSeungmin?â You croak, voice congested as a result of your fever.
When you open your eyes, your roommate makes it look like he hadnât been hovering over you and trying to shake you awake for the past few minutes. He just stands back, glass of water and your prescribed medicine in hand.
He looks exhausted, messy hair indicative of just having woken up and you donât miss the yawn that leaves his lips when he turns away from you for a second.
The big white shirt heâs wearing is a little lopsided that it exposes a bit of his collarbones.
âThe doctor said you need to take this every 8 hours, right?â
Itâs a rhetorical question. You know he knows. Heâd practically dragged you to get yourself checked after youâd failed to hide your fever from him.
âYeah.â You move to sit up, the sound of rustling sheets lingering in the silence. A quick glance at the clock on your bedside table will tell you itâs close to one in the morning. Itâs too early to have shaken your roommate away from his sleep. You feel sorry.
Seungmin hands you the medicine and glass of water in his hands. âHere, drink this.â
You take the medicine from his hand, placing it on your tongue and chugging it down with water almost immediately, like youâve been told. You would hate for the metallic taste of the drug to linger on your tongue lest you want to start vomiting.
Your roommate only takes the glass back after you've drank every last drop, feverishly placing it on your bedside table so he doesnât make a mistake of dropping it.
âJust gonna check your temperature now, okay? Then you can go back to sleep.â His hand falls over your forehead, an evident frown tugging at his lips before shoving his hand down the pocket of his sweatpants to grab the thermometer heâd brought with him.
âOkay.â You yawn, rubbing your eyes.
âIt might feel a little uncomfortable.â He uncaps the cover off of the thermometer before gently tapping at your chin, as if telling you to open your mouth so he can slip the thermometer tip under your tongue.
When he slips it in, the first thing you discern is how cold the metal feels in your mouth. The next is how warm his hand feels gently moving strands of your hair away from your face before falling limp by his side.
The device is uncomfortable, but you donât want to bother Seungmin any more than you already have.
âYou can close your mouth now, then weâll just wait for it to beep.â
Seungmin does nothing for the 30 seconds it takes the thermometer to check your temperature, simply sits on the edge of your bed patiently. The way he attempts to keep his eyes open is almost endearing.
He mustâve had a long day today.
The thought makes your face twitch. Your roommate isnât usually like this, always passive in the things you do, but thereâs something about the way heâs taking care of you right now that suddenly makes you aware of how considerate he is about things you usually overlook.
Thinking about it makes your face hot, so you stop. You wouldnât want to fool the small device in your mouth.
When the thermometer beeps, Seungmin takes it from your mouth gently, staring down at the little screen before sighing a little in relief. âA little better than your temperature this morning. How do you feel, though?â
âI canât really tell.â You feel ridiculous for it. The least you can offer him is a little reassurance that his efforts at waking you up to take your medicine are slowly adding up to your betterment, but you genuinely cannot tell if you feel better or not.
âThatâs alright. Weâll check again in the morning. You can go back to sleep now.â
Your mind is slow to process your roommate tucking you back in. It doesnât see him taking the empty glass on your table and shuffling to leave the room. It can only hear the quiet patter of his feet and the heavy inhale and exhale of exhaustion from the boy.
Youâre halfway back to surrendering yourself to sleep when you call his name. âSeungmin?â
Heâs just about outside your door when he turns back and lets his eyes gaze over to you. Thereâs something about the way heâs looking at you that you canât quite put a word to. Itâs different to how he looks when itâs morning and youâre more aware.
âIâm really sorry for bothering you.â You think the guilt will swallow you whole if you keep letting it brew in your sternum, so you tell him. The words sound congested when they leave your mouth, but you hope he understood every single word.
âDonât be ridiculous.â
You could never be a bother sits on his tongue.
âGo back to sleep. I donât have plans tomorrow so Iâll be here to take care of you.â He runs a hand through his hair, looking at you one final time before shutting the door closed behind him. He doesnât give you a chance to protest.
A little digging will tell you he does have plans for tomorrow, and if you asked Jeongin heâd probably rat out his best friend and tell you how heâd asked to raincheck so he could stay and take care of you.
(âJeongin, I canât come tomorrow. Can we move it to Sunday?â
âWhy?â He whines.
â...(Name) is sick.â
âOh my god, you are hopeless. Dude, just tell her how you feel, itâs not that hard.â
âGoodbye.â
âWait, tell her get well soââ)
Maybe if you were more awake, you wouldâve noticed the little ways in which he cares for you. Maybe if your mind was a little sharper in processing things, you wouldâve heard him saying heâd do anything for you, even if it was to sacrifice the sleep he values. Instead, you close your tired eyes and fall back to unconsciousness.
In the morning, youâll be greeted by a hot bowl of soup and the company of a roommate who bears more feelings for you than you originally thought.
one more month â bang chan. established relationship. fluff. chan missing you while heâs on tour. (0.6k words)
âChan?â
Itâs 11pm for you when he calls from his hotel room, somewhere oceans away. Thereâs still sleep dripping from your tone, and he can almost hear the rustling of sheets from your end.
âSorry baby, did I wake you?â Chan speaks so quietly itâs almost a whisper. He was careful not to shake you out of your silence.
âMmm, no.â You croak out.
He knows youâre lying, could almost picture you jolting from your sleep at the familiar buzz of your ringtone. The thought makes him swallow, teeth chewing on his bottom lip.
âIs there a reason why youâre calling?â
He pauses before answering. Chan has no idea how the fuck heâs feeling right now, but he knows he misses you.
Itâs been 4 months since he last saw you. All he has are pictures of you in his phone, and occasional phone calls that will never suffice to the way you sound in person. To the way you feel in person.
Chan stares out the big fucking window from where theyâre staying, finding comfort in the thought that you might be looking at the same moon.
He swallows again. âDoes there have to be a reason?â
âOf course not.â
âJust miss you.â He breathes out slowly, head tilted on the glass windows. âAnd I wishâ we didnât have to be so far away all the time.â
Heâs thinking of you, imagining how you look right now with tired eyes. Heâs thinking of what it would be like if he was there right now. Youâd probably be asleep, tangled up in each otherâs limbs. It would look uncomfortable from an outsiderâs eye, but he knows. Knows how it feels to have your heartbeat pressed against his and how nice it feels.
You sigh. âOne more month.â
The tone in your voice is gentle, yet knowing. He knows you miss him too.
âFor now, you need to sleep, no?â
Itâs 3 in the morning for him, and heâll have to be awake again in three hours.
âCanât.â He bites his lip, swallowing hard as he tries to fight the sob brewing in his throat. Your heart clenches at the way he sounds, knows that when he feels, he lets it take over him.
âWill you be able to sleep if I stay on the phone?â
âMaybe.â Shaky.
âOkay. Have the kids been treating you well?â
A smile pulls at his lips at the mention of his best friends, and the topic change does a good job at masking the nauseating pain of missing you. A bandaid. A temporary fix.
âStill loud and stubborn, but I wouldnât want them any other way.â
âHmmm, I wonât be surprised if you come home with a head of white hair.â
He laughs at the thought, running a hand through his hair. âI think Iâm already starting.â
âThen Seungmin calling you an old man is justifiable, then?â
âI donât think I like you teaming up with the boys against me. Youâve signed up on my team the moment you said yes to being mine.â
You laugh from your end, and Chanâs heart flutters at the sound. He can almost see you with your crescent eyes and the cute scrunch on your nose, the one you do when you cackle.
He tries not to think about it too much. Tries not to picture himself right there with you. He knows itâd only rip the bandaid heâd desperately plastered on himself.
âNot sleepy yet?â
âJust a little.â He admits quietly, a yawn escaping his mouth.
Thereâs stifling from his end, and you can only assume heâs slipped himself back into the covers of his bed.
You keep telling him stories, no matter how menial, anything to keep him company. You know he just needs to hear your voice, has told you before how simply hearing you comforts himâitâs a calm only you can offer.
Chan breathes in and out slowly.
Itâs four in the morning now, and thereâs quiet snoring in the background.
thinking about non-sexual intimacy with skz. chan draping your body on top of his because he likes to feel the pressure of your weight on him as a physical reminder of your presence. minho holding your hand to his cheek while you watch movies together, and you can feel his skin heat up under your palm. changbin nuzzling his face into your stomach whenever he gets the chance, going at it harder when you laugh from how it tickles. hyunjin having his hands buried into your hair all the time twirling and braiding random strands together absentmindedly. jisung resting his chin on your neck, shoulder, thigh, wherever is most convenient for him. felix tangling your fingers together at all moments like he would die without touching you all the time. seungmin pressing kisses into your skin whenever he passes by you, no matter what you're doing. jeongin moving your arms around his waist for a hug because he doesn't like to ask for it, he'll take it for himself.
a/n: cracks knuckles busting out some rusty writing skills for a teeny comfort thing. imagine changbin in a comfy hoodie. eee. tw: mental health, hurt/comfort
âbin,â you reach a hand out towards him in a greeting as he walks through your front door, palm upturned for him to take. âcome here?â
âwhat if i donât want to?â he teases, a normal thing for your typical dynamic with him. usually, heâd tease and youâd tease back, going back and forth for a bit. usually, he would relent within a minute, giving in to your every desire like he was fundamentally unable to disobey you. usually, youâd be within his arms within mere seconds, and the conversation that preceded it would be forgotten.Â
but today, with the way your head has been jumbled into knots since you woke up, his words seem real. hot, traitorous tears well in your eyes as you turn away from him, curling your hand into your stomach. you blink rapidly, trying to clear the blur in your vision, and you nearly miss him rounding your couch and crouching in front of you.Â
âhey, you know i didnât mean it,â worry drips off his words and that makes you feel worse; he cups your face in his palm and runs his thumb under your eye, but it comes away dry. you donât want to let the tears fall.Â
âsorry, i-â your breath catches on the word and a horrible mix of shame and embarrassment takes over, making your body deflate completely. âi donât know.â
but you do know. you want him to know without having to say it. you want him to understand everything, for him to know when things are wrong even before he lays eyes on you. you want him to know which one day out of every hundred that you canât handle banter, you want him by you all the time and you want him to want to be there. but above all else, you want to not be a mess like this.Â
âthatâs okay,â he soothes, leaning forward to press a kiss to your head. he lifts you up and spins, plopping down and pulling you with him until youâre straddled on top of him. his arms cage you against his chest, every inch of you feels connected to him, like a soothing balm for injuries that your eyes canât see. he doesnât ask if itâs okay, doesnât check to see if you want to be left alone, because despite your worries he does know you.Â
you let out a sigh into his t-shirt, replacing your breath with the scent of his laundry detergent. you try and focus on his heartbeat, letting the thumps of life under his skin wash away any coherent lines of thought.Â
âwhatever is happening in here,â he bumps his chin against the top of your head gently. âis real. youâre not crazy, okay?â
âfeels like i am,â you mumble, burrowing further into him. you donât have it in you to argue. you donât fully believe him, but his perception of you matters more than your own.Â
âitâll be okay,â he says, and despite his constant claims that he never knows the right thing to say, itâs working well enough right now. âthis will pass, you know it will.â
âwhat if it doesnât this time?â itâs a constant worry, that the way when things are okay will never come.Â
âthen we will figure it out together,â he takes a breath and your body moves along with him like riding waves. âiâm not letting you go anywhere without me by your side.â
itâll be tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that where you will wake up and be able to breathe on your own again. but today, like every one in a hundred day that comes like this, he can breathe for you.
After seeing Stray Kids do the breakup challenge I can imagine Jisung asking his partner to fake breakup with him so he can get a feel of what it's like so he can write lyrics about how it made him feel but after being so offended that they actually did it for him đ
he'd be so aksjdhaskhd this is the most jisung coded thing ever
"Okay."
Jisung gapes at you, blinks his giant, doe eyes.
"What do you mean 'okay'?"
"We're done."
Jisung's mouth snaps shut. His brow furrows slightly.
You turn to walk away, but he reaches out, catches your wrist in his before you can even take another step.
"W-wait, where are you going? We wanted to get coffee."
When you turn around and meet his sweet, slightly distraught expression, your heart twinges. But he'd been so annoyingly adamant about this that you're not about to give in so easily.
You snatch your wrist away from him and his face falls.
"What do you mean? We just broke up. I'm not going to go get coffee with you," you reply. Your voice is neutral, but Jisung still looks like he's been slapped.
You turn and walk away again. He stumbles after you.
"B-but we had plans," he babbles.
You shrug. Walk faster.
"It's over, Ji. I'll go home now, collect all your things, get ice cream, call Lix and cry about you, mourn the loss of the best relationship I've ever had, in a week maybe go out to drink and hook upâ"
Before you can finish your sentence, you're spun around and crushed into Jisung's chest. He's breathing heavily, his arms tight, hands possessively wrapped around now.
"Okay, stop, please, it's freaking me out now. Like, really freaking me out, like ... I'm kinda panicking ..." he mumbles, and you can hear how his voice shakes, his heart thunders in his chest. Your resolve melts and you wrap your arms around him, too. Squeeze him tight. He breathes out a sigh of relief.
"That was the worst idea I've ever had," he whispers, buries his nose into your hair and presses a long kiss to your scalp, "that was scary. I thought about what it would be like if you actually walked away and for a second there I thought I was gonna die. Like my heart nearly stopped."
He nuzzles closer into you, takes another shaky breath. You rub a hand soothingly up and down his back, breathe deeply against the warmth of his t-shirt.
"I don't want to break up with you, my Jiji," you mumble, quietly, "I love you so much."
Jisung forces out a shaky laugh.
"Please don't break up with me. I love you, too, so unbelievably much. Don't ever leave ... I mean, that sounds kinda toxic, but you know what I mean like ... I hope you never leave me. I don't ever want you to leave me, or to lose you. Like, I don't know what I would do without you at this point. Life is so much better with you."
You cut off his rambling with a wet kiss to his neck and he stops, sighs, pulls away just enough to be able to look at you. His eyes are a little wet. Oh, your sweet, sensitive boy. You smile at him.
"I love you, okay? I'm not going anywhere. You make me the happiest in the world, I don't want to do this without you either."
This seems to calm him a little, but he nonetheless tugs you close again, presses you into his chest with an arm around you and a solid palm at the back of your head, his own face pressed against yours.
"Think you got enough for a song?"
Jisung makes a sound like a wounded animal.
"I will need like three days to recover from this emotionally. Fuck the song."
pairing: bang chan x reader
genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff, unedited bc i am a danger to society, not much to it really this is just pretty short and mild
word count: 0.5k
note: chessica this was âthings you said too quietlyâ >:) get fucked (hopefully)! actually it might suck tho
as always, iâd appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading âĄ
navigation / masterlist / ko-fi
When the front door opens, signaling another presence in your home, youâre not surprised by the sounds that follow. Itâs a familiar routine â keys in the bowl, shoes on the rack, coat on the hook in the entryway. If Berry wasnât already asleep in your bedroom, sheâd come running full-force with the biggest smile on her adorable little face.
You donât bother turning around from your place by the window, where youâre watching as snow falls outside, illuminated by the dim orange lights that line your street, covering the pavements in a blanket of white that only grows thicker by the minute.
âHow was the dinneâOh!â If you werenât surprised by his arrival, then you are a little taken aback when your boyfriendâs arms wrap around you from behind, his head finding its designated safe haven on your shoulder where he rests his chin.
And itâs like Chan can sense your scolding coming from a mile away. âI know. Outside clothes,â heâs quick to jump in before you can get another word out. âMake an exception for me today.â
You watch his reflection in the window for a while. You donât particularly enjoy the feeling â because outside clothes belong in the hamper the second you return home â but you find that the warmth radiating from his body outweighs your disdain, so you allow him just this once. Heâs got his eyes closed, and he still faintly smells like the cologne he put on before he left in the morning.Â
âEverything okay?â you ask, reaching behind to brush your fingers through his hair. You have to admit; itâs an awkward position for your arm but Chan seems to like it, leaning into your touch almost immediately.
âEverythingâs fine,â he says. âJust been a long day, thatâs all.â
You give him a hum in acknowledgment, carding through his curls for a brief moment before he lifts his head to lean his cheek against your temple.Â
His hand finds one of yours, tracing a slightly callous thumb over your knuckles, lingering on your empty ring finger for a beat too long. When he turns his head to press a few kisses to your hair, he mumbles something that you donât quite catch even though his lips are right by your ear.
âWhat?â you ask.
But he just smiles against your hair, his eyes crinkling into crescent moons as you watch his reflection. âNothing,â he says. âI love you.â
âI love you too,â you tell him, even though you start squinting suspiciously. But heâs already squeezing you tighter so you let it go. It didnât sound like it was meant for you to hear. Itâs just what he does. Chan has so much love that sometimes he canât help himself, and the affectionâs gotta wiggle its way out somehow. Heâs warmth and happiness personified. You figure itâs just one of those moments.
The snow is still falling, and your little family is still sheltered and cozy indoors. You feel bad for the people who are still out there trudging their way through the cold, but you canât really do anything about it so you just watch, with Chan still hugging you from behind. Itâs quiet again â both the room and your life with him. You like it, outside clothes and all.
âș đč . genre: this is just sleepy fluff <3 some of the boys get kind of emotional.
âș đč . a/n: happy binnie day!! <3 to this day, these are some of my favorite hcs i've ever written so i hope you enjoy! (early morning moments with them right here <3)
đৠchan đৠ- 2:34 am
âDo you think Berry misses me sometimes?â He mumbles into your lap, voice full of sleep as you gently massage his scalp. Looking down at him, your eyes soften when he hugs your middle and hides his face in your stomach which prompts your other hand to begin tracing his features softly.
âOf course, she does, baby.â Chan almost purrs in response and your heart melts at the sight, managing to contain the sudden urge to squish his cheeks together. âRemember how excited she was the last time you visited? She was jumping, running around you and never left your side the whole time you were there.â
A moment passes and then two with no response from your boyfriend and thatâs when you realize, by his even breathing, that he finally fell asleep.
You smile and lean down to plant a sweet kiss on his forehead, whispering a sincere I love you in his ear, not stopping your massage.
Sleeps like this, in your lap, until youâre sure heâs asleep for good before you slowly move him into a more comfortable position and wrap his whole body in a blanket burrito.
đৠminho đৠ- 11:59 pm
âHug me, Iâm cold!â
You hear him groan before he turns over to face you, grumbling under his breath as he envelopes your body in a big hug and begins to squeeze the life out of you. All out of love, of course.
âBetter now?â âMinho, I canât breathe!â
Doesnât let go but does tilt your head up to look into your eyes and the love you see as you stare back almost has you in tears. A sleepy smile makes its way onto his lips and thatâs when you manage to loosen his grip by wiggling into his arms, wasting no time as you begin to plant open-mouthed kisses all over his face.
His smile widens until giggles escape him, loving the way your lips feel on his skin as he lets you do whatever you want until youâre satisfied. When you finally reach his lips but donât linger for as long as heâd like, instead kissing them repeatedly while also giggling, he takes matters into his own hands and kisses you deeply while still keeping the initial softness of your previous ones.
đৠchangbin đৠ- 3:47 am
You toss and turn in the sheets for what feels like the millionth time before finally giving up with a frustrated sigh. âBinnie, I canât sleep.â
âMe neither.â The response comes instantly and you sit up on your elbows to find him staring at the ceiling, visibly exhausted. You frown, scooting closer to hug him by the middle and rest your chin on his chest.
âEverything okay?â
Your soft voice prompts him to let it all out, to rant about work and his daily struggles at a fast pace that you can barely keep up with. When his voice quivers, you look up and plant comforting kisses on his neck and jaw, one hand gently massaging his chest through his nightshirt.
When heâs done and his speech slows down, Changbin moves to hide his face in your hair, muscular arms wrapping around your body to bring you closer, almost like he wanted to morph your bodies together. Being one with the love of your life sounded great right now â to be able to take all of his pain and discomfort so that heâll always be happy and healthy was something you dreamt about often. Unfortunately, until that was possible, you hoped from the bottom of your heart that what youâre able to do right now is enough.
đৠhyunjin đৠ- 1:08 am
âForget worms, would you still love me if I was a deadly shark?â
Hyunjin looks up from his phone, flabbergasted, just to find you already looking at him. Heâs silent, waiting for you to elaborate but when you donât, he sighs and gives in. âDarling, what the hell are you talking about?â
You roll your eyes, cuddling closer as you place your head in the crock of his neck to inhale his comforting scent. His arms pull you closer instantly, phone long forgotten. âThis hypothetical situation, Jinnie, is critical for our relationship. Please take it seriously.â
Is confused the whole time as you ramble on and on about your âhypothetical situationâ that at some point, having had enough, he just turns his back to you and gets comfortable on his other side.
When you follow him and throw a leg over his body, continuing on while drawing patterns onto his back, he swiftly turns around to hover over you, pinning you to the mattress. Your eyes meet and for a second, you think heâs going to kiss you until your dream is shattered as he begins tickling you mercilessly instead. A tickle war starts that leaves you both breathless and laughing well into the night.
đৠjisung đৠ- 1:56 am
âWhen youâre away and I miss you, I spray this pillow with your cologne and cuddle it as I would cuddle you.â
Jisungâs eyes widen slightly as you speak against his lips, the lingering sadness in your tone pulling at his heartstrings in an unpleasant way. Youâre face to face, staring lovingly at each other while talking in hushed voices about everything that comes to mind.
He knows that at this time during the night, he gets all soft and mushy but he wasnât expecting to cry this soon. You were so good to him, his own angel on earth that would wait for him for as long as it was needed. You deserved so much better.
Gently cupping your cheek, you lean into his touch and close your eyes in contentment, and he bites his tongue to stop himself from crying. âIâm sorry, baby.â
His voice is shaky so without a word, you cuddle closer, burying your head in his chest and holding him tighter while also kissing his covered chest. âSorry? Sorry for what? Donât be silly, Ji. Your love makes all this waiting around worth it every single time.â
đৠfelix đৠ- 4:02 am
âWait, what? She said that to you?â Felix asks, voice loud in disbelief as the hand that was combing through your hair stops momentarily.
You nod, looking up at him from where youâre resting your head, on his abs, the bare skin warm and soft under your touch. âYes! I have receipts, hold on.â
As you scramble out of bed to get your phone from where it's charging, Felix canât help but smile as his eyes are completely focused on you and nothing else. He always thought you were the most beautiful like this â bare-faced, with your hair slightly messy and missing that furrow between your brows that appeared during the day.
Vulnerable and oh-so cuddly during the late hours of the night, and early hours of the morning you sometimes spent with him, talking, kissing and laughing until the sun rose again to announce another new day.
When you came back to bed, Felix was resting with his back against the headboard and the position allowed him to pull you flush against his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind as you showed him your phone. It was the domesticity he always craved for which he hoped would never end. That you and him like this never ended.
đৠseungmin đৠ- 12:32 am
Taking another peek at the bedside clock, you canât help but sigh as the red digits glare at you, almost mockingly. Youâve been in bed for hours now and youâre still as awake as you were back then too. It was infuriating, and you were this close to actually crying in frustration.
Almost as if sensing your low mood, Seungmin turns on his side to face you. âEverything okay?â
You shake your head and bury your head in the warm pillow. âI canât sleep, Minnie. Will you sing to me, please?â
His arms come around you to bring your back to his chest, successfully luring you into being the little spoon, which to be honest, you didnât mind one bit right now. He places a kiss on your cheek, and with one hand softly massaging your hip, he starts humming. Not a lullaby, but one of the groupâs title tracks.
When you glare at him over your shoulder, he grins and stifles a chuckle before starting to sing a proper lullaby. Just as suspected â his dreamy voice does have magical powers and youâre asleep in less than five minutes. Or maybe it's the way he holds you so closely and the occasional kiss on the top of your head that does the trick. Either way, you have to let Felix know asap. He owes you 20$.
đৠjeongin đৠ- 11:45 pm
âBlanket thief.â He complains, however, thereâs no real malice in his tone as you roll around into a blanket burrito and leave him completely exposed to all the monsters that come out at night, laughing loudly.
You donât see him, but he rolls his eyes, trying to appear annoyed as he hides his growing smile. âCome here, baby, letâs share.â
When you shake your head no, still giggling in your pillow, Jeongin takes matters into his own hands, literally, and lifts you up by the waist to trap you into his tight embrace, which causes you to shriek and laugh again. He soon joins in and your laughter fills the tiny room as you begin wrestling for the blanket.
âCome on, be reasonable, thereâs enough blanket for the both of us.â âNo.â âY/n.â âBut Jeongin, the monsters â â ,âIâll beat them up! Now, come here!â
Somehow, he manages to convince you to share and you fall asleep cuddling while watching youtube videos, with his soft voice whispering sweet nothings into your ear. But during the night, he still ends up uncovered and because heâs petty, he pretends to fall out of bed and says that the monsters got to him because of you and your selfish nature he canât help but still love so much!
cws: gender neutral!reader, sfw, comfort, mentions of chan being insecure, mentions of skz getting hate, mentions of minho's and felix's elimination
Visiting him late at night in his studio. To get him to bed when he overworks himself, to bring him food when he forgets to eat again or just to spend time with him. Listening to his drafts, rubbing his back when he gets frustrated about a difficult part in a song.
Keeping him away from any hate comments instead sending him lots of screenshots of positive content made by Stay. TikTok Edits, Twitter threads, and any praise sung about him. To remind him how loved he is by the community.
Consoling him when he misses his home. "Lucas grew up so fastâŠ" "Do you think Berry still recognizes me?" "Did I lose my accent? I feel like I did." Petting his hair, trying to push all worries away from him.
Holding him when his insomnia kicks in. Massaging his back, trying to lure him to sleep, which he needs so much.Â
Comforting him about his fear of getting angry. He hates being angry, it makes him feel terrible and almost violent. So you stay with him and help him through those emotions, and his way of dealing with them, allowing him to let his frustrations out in a good way.
Listening on days when his remorse about not being able to protect Minho and Felix from being kicked out of the group gets bad again. Telling him again and again that it's not his fault and that he always does his best to protect his members. And that they know that.
Being there for him when he feels like him not working all the time is letting down his group. How he is only of worth to the world when he is working. Cuddling all of the negativity out of him, making sure he knows how loved he is.
to be human â han jisung. roommate au. friends to lovers. kind of comfort fic. supernatural au.
your shapeshifter friend forgets how to turn back into a human and has a crisis. inspired by this artwork. (~1k words)
âJisung?â
Itâs quiet in your apartment where Jisung would usually blast music. Itâs strange to be greeted by silence instead, a little concerning even.
âJi?â You try calling out again, stepping cautiously inside as you briefly draw your eyes to each room in search of your roommate.
âIâm in here.â Jisungâs voice has a tone of dejection to it as he replies to you from the bathroom. Grogginess indicative of exhaustion and resignation.
You know somethingâs wrong.
When he hears your footsteps padding towards where he is, his tone shifts to one of panic. âPlease donât come in.â
You already know why.
âJisung, Iâm not scared of you.â The door creeks open when you enter, and Jisung is still hidden in the bathtub behind drawn out shower curtains.
He doesnât want you to see him like this.
You know he startles easily in this state, so you do your best to keep your footsteps light, actions gentle as you peel back the shower curtain and step into the tub with him. One leg after the other. Itâs small, doesnât really fit the two of you â you press your knees to your chest in trial of a solution so you can give him more space in the tub.
A minute goes by.
âHow many eyes do I have?â He squeaks, not being able to take the silence, and itâs a sign that itâs okay for you to look at him. Locking eyes with his form, you briefly scan his features, not dwelling too hard on anything. You know he wouldnât want that.
You count in your head. One. Two. Three⊠âUh, seven?â
âJust pick one to focus on.â You listen to him, eyes focused on the one of his eyes. He looks so small like this, despite doubling in his usual size, and you know cogs are turning in his brain (if he even had one). Itâs been a while since heâs been stuck outside of his human form.
âHow are you feeling?â
âOkay.â
âAre you in pain?â
âA bit.â The pained way he speaks is so close to human emotion that it shatters you. âIâm sorry you have to see me this way.â
âYou are still my friend, you know?â You try to speak with comfort. You know he needs it the most. You hope to cement in him that what he looked like didnât matter to you â just that, at the end of the day, it was still him behind all the masks he puts on.
He scoffs. âNot looking like⊠this.â
âThat doesnât matter. Itâs still you, isnât it?â
A heartbeat passes. Yours. He simply sits in silence to process your words. You wonder what heâs thinking of.
âI guess.â You smile at his response. It visibly calms him down. âOh, by the way, I got you something.â
You grab the backpack you had dropped just beside the tub. Itâs his, had given it to you months ago, and thereâs a picture of the two of you in the form of a keychain hanging by the zipper.
âI know you technically donât need to eat anything but⊠I remember you said you really liked this when you were still human.â
Itâs cheesecake wrapped in plastic, and if Jisung had a heart, heâs convinced it would be beating twice the normal rate.
Youâre right, he doesnât need to eat, but he will save it as something to remember this moment by.
âI hope it helps you remember being⊠you.â You place it on the space between the two of you in the tub. Heâll grab it later. Thereâs something else in his mind.
âWhere did you get that?â Jisung questions, eyes fixated on something else entirely.
âOh, just the bakery I pass on the way to uni.â
âNo, the picture.â
âThe picture?â You look down at where heâs looking. Your keychain.
âThis? I always carry it on me.â You show it to him proudly. A memory passes in his head. He doesnât remember much, but he does remember being happy the day that picture was taken.
âYou doâŠ?â You hum to confirm his inquiry. Silence washes over, and just as quick as it comes, itâs ripped away by sniffling coming from Jisungâs end.
He doesnât cry, but it looks like heâs about to.
âGive me your hand.â You demand, though tone gentle in case he didnât wanna be touched.
âWhat? No.â Heâs still sniffling.
âI want to hold it.â
This time, he blinks. All seven of his eyes. Flashes of him attempting to hold your hand before, all in vain.
âSince when do you like holding hands?â
âSince now.â You mumble. Your hand is outstretched, just waiting for him to take it if he wanted.
Long sharp nails greet you, and you have to use both of your hands to hold his one properly. For a second, you feel a spark of life when your hands meet.
He feels it too.
âWeâll get through this together, okay?â Jisung lets you hold his hand. Heâs looking at you now, less afraid of himself and how he looks. Itâs quiet here with you, isnât so loud. He could get used to this.
His fingers curl around your hand, completely swallowing it by the sheer size of his. Your whole hand fits in his. It feels nice. Warm in comparison to the cold he feels in this state.
âOkay.â Jisungâs tone is softer now.
Itâs easier to remember what feeling human is like with you. He wonders if the unidentifiable feeling he gets when youâre with him is something he had felt back when he had a beating heart.
Wonders if the way he felt when he saw the picture you keep of the two of you mean anything to his humanness. Does it count for something if he wants to keep holding your hand every day after today?
Jisung doesnât breathe, doesnât bleed, doesnât need to consume anything to survive â but heâs capable of loving, and that makes him human enough.
