Its Fine

Writing account Memes Red Queen and Ember in the Ashes I refuse to accept the ending of War Storm ;)

[casualmaventrash]

My teacher: ok so i like lost my voice so i cant really talk at full volume today

Me: ooh asmr

[casualmaventrash]

My youtube recommended: *i put ocean man voice crack over near death experiences* *bad guy/we are number one mashup* *avengers endgame as vines*

Me: this is the quality content i signed up for

[casualmaventrash]

If i exchange one word with you at the grocery store because i wanna get a soda from the cooler and youre in the way you best believe you’re going to be a supporting character in my next bestselling novel

[casualmaventrash]

omg it’s bobby eyebrow

[casualmaventrash]

My greatest fear is the kid on the school bus that has the first stop in the morning and the last stop in the afternoon

They know where you live

But you don’t know where they live

[casualmaventrash]

No one:

Literally no one at all:

Not a single soul:

Me: bIlLiE eIlIsH

[casualmaventrash]

spencer reid may be my dad

but derek morgan is my daddy

[casualmaventrash]

Today i was trying to socialize with my aunt and she asked me about books i like and i looked over and I heard my own mOTHER start to laugh to herself like

you dont know what you got yourself into

So thats how my easter went

[casualmaventrash]

What she says: i’m fine

What she means: victoria aveyard is releasing broken throne in seventeen days and she released the inside cover flap the other day and it said “two enemy brothers clash one final time” and today we found out that fare well has cal and maven chapters and at the end of war storm they never found the body and doyouknowwhatthismeans

[constant-diablerie]

any noun can become a verb if you don’t care enough

[yupokaysuremhm]

This point is invalid unless you use an example in your sentence

[constant-diablerie]

I CAN SENTENCE HOW I WANT THANK

[yupokaysuremhm]

BEAUTIFUL

[fellowfeline]

you see thats why i love english

[ailithnight]

I like to velociraptor around my house at 2 in the morning.

[constant-diablerie]

GOOD

[standing-in-peace]

My headache makes me want to clothesline into a wall

[edelvicess]

why do these make some semblance of sense 😨

[roseverdict]

Because brains don’t brain logically

[couldbeglorious]

Brains do brain logically! But when english doesn’t logic englishly, brain brains by itself to logic that english !

[swampxwitchxhattie]

I hate that this makes sense

[madammuffins]

I

Love

That this makes sense.

[writing-in-the-grave]

I hate English so much

[dragonhoardingwips-deactivated2]

You writeblrs, I’m Hal; I’m 22 and looking for more friends and stuff

If you post regularly and give feedback on writing,l or just want a new friend can you reblog this

[casualmaventrash]

Hey fam 👋🏻

[writing-in-the-grave]

Y'all I always thought my cousin was weird but it turns out he might actually be a super spy government agent and lets be honest, how surprised am I supposed to be?

[wallpatterns-deactivated2019120]

I,,,am intrigued?

[writing-in-the-grave]

You want the story?

[wallpatterns-deactivated2019120]

Always

[writing-in-the-grave]

Okay okay so,

My cousin, whom we will call T for privacy reasons, (((dude has a tumblr and I don’t need that conversation in my life))) has been a mystery to me my entire life.

He’s super quiet, only responds in two or three words, keeps to himself, etc. He’s nearly impossible to hold a conversation with, so I never really tried.

Well, I first learned something about him about a year ago when he broke into a building named after a guy with the same name to get a selfie out the top floor window, he got a security guard fired, dragged off the property, and banned from the building for life. He never got his selfie.

After that I started joking he was a super spy because he still managed to sneak into the top floor and convince a guard into letting him use his keycard, all while pretending to own the building.

Well, today I finally learned what he does for a living; He builds air planes for the US government, he was complaining about an ongoing investigation into all the crashing planes lately.

Bitch might actually be a super spy.

I thought he was the NORMAL cousin???

[wallpatterns-deactivated2019120]

wait he broke into a building all spy like and he’s the NORMAL cousin

why is he the kind of disaster I’m tryna be in 2019

[writing-in-the-grave]

In comparison to my other cousins, yes.

Here, a complete list of my cousins, minus T since you just heard about him;

A Newt from Maze Runner lookalike who mastered his signature because he, “doesn’t want to disappoint the guy’s fans.” Also he works at a costume rental place and rents a new costume for every family gathering.

A 90 year old librarian in a 20 year old’s body, complete with arthritis, knitting hobbies, lots of cats, thick ass glasses, and more sweaters that Mabel Pines.

A guy who looks like he could be a 30 year old actor hired by Disney to play a 15 year old in a teenage superhero movie. He also didn’t show up to his own birthday party once so last year we threw a surprise party to insure he’d be there.

A butch lesbian who isn’t fully over Halloween at any given point in time, wears a witch costume to thanksgiving, and buys 1,000 tiny plastic skeletons in bulk, and hides them around Grandma’s house.

Yeah, T was the normal one.

[wallpatterns-deactivated2019120]

Your family is an accumulation of zany protagonists and I’m, once again, quite literally in awe of you

[writing-in-the-grave]

Why thank you. At the very least, my family reunions are entertaining.

[the-other-slytherin]

Adopt me?

[writing-in-the-grave]

Sure, I officially dub thee an honorary Dollar.

[moonkidphrase]

wait… which cousin are you????

[writing-in-the-grave]

The miniature gay version of our grandmother.

[undead-bi-dinosaur]

Oh my god

[writing-in-the-grave]

(((Okay but look at my grandma)))

[fortzancudo]

GOD today i served a family of 3 and the dad was like “i’ll have a cappuccino” and the kid, a girl of about 11, was like “PLEASE.” and he was like “uh yeah. please” and the kid goes “well you’re always telling me to remember my manners!!! you should too!!” and i was cracking up

and then she was standing there w her mum while i made their drinks and i asked if the mum wanted chocolate sprinkles and she was like “yes please” and the kid goes “well at least SOMEONE remembered their manners” and then sighed dramatically and HEELYED AWAY and honestly? not sure how to go on knowing i’ll never be as cool as this 11 year old

[casualmaventrash]

Me: alright. Its late. Im tired. Got all my homework done. Time to go to bed

Brain: alright-

Me: don’t u dare

Brain: i wasn’t. Go to bed.

Me: good.

Brain: good.

Me:

Brain:

Me:

Brain:

Brain: OK BUT WHAT IF YOU KILLED THIS CHARACTER-

[casualmaventrash]

Me: wow. I feel really inspired. I should work for a solid hour on my book. I bet I could get past that writers block from last week!

Also me: *scrolls through tumblr* *watched five hours of writing advice videos* *checks instagram* where did the time go

[casualmaventrash]

My heart says hardback but my wallet says paperback

[casualmaventrash]

No one:

Me, a writer: does anyone know how much blood a person can lose before they bleed out? Asking for a friend