Season Passes

Fandom Jumping nutjob. Current fandoms: Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Transformers, and Sailor Moon [used to be gameartistjay]

[c-ptsdrecovery]

[scoobied]

[marlynnofmany]

Why didn’t anyone tell me about this comic earlier?

It is.  So cute.  SpiderMom does her best, and HumanChild makes friends with everything.  There’s only about 20 pages so far, but I am invested.

Here’s page one.  *shoos you off to read it*

[strawberrynesquikphilosophies]

…okay, so was anybody going to tell me that the comic is based on a novel (by the same author) that had industry giants like Andy Weir (”The Martian”) singing its praises??? And was illustrated by Vincent Proce??????

[bargu]

Idea and texts by @asianshep !! Link to the orig. post here -> https://asianshep.tumblr.com/post/640993103476654080/kasumi-crawling-through-the-vents-of-the

I inhaled my coffee when I saw the original post x’‘D Just had to do comic of it! Thanks to asianshep for the idea and permission to use it! ´3` Mass Effect belongs to Bioware, art made by Barguest

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[amaraqwolf]

Good news: if you’re currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.

[curlicuecal]

I’m an ant biologist and I’d like to point out that ants also spend a significant percentage of the time doing nothing.

Turns out sometimes the most evolutionary useful thing you can do is chill and not wear yourself to shreds, whether mammal or insect. It helps you deal with emergencies and adapt to change. Plus, you can act as living food storage!

That last part is probably more an ant thing than a human thing, but hey, live your dreams.

[percsbeth]

i was watching Cinema Therapy’s reaction to Inside Out and i found this bit really interesting

[what-even-is-thiss]

Witch: Ah, so you've come to me.

Maiden: Yes. I need your help.

Witch: Unwanted baby?

Maiden: No?

Witch: Want someone dead?

Maiden: What? Of course not.

Witch: That's all I know how to do. What do you need?

Maiden: I'm starting to see why you were shunned from the village.

Witch: Yes, I've killed a lot of people. What do you need?

Maiden: There's a pox in the village.

Witch: It wasn't me this time.

Maiden: I know. Can you fix it or not?

Witch: No. I'm not licensed for that.

Maiden: What do you mean you're not licensed for that?

Witch: I got kicked out of the herbalist's coven.

Maiden: For killing people?

Witch: For killing people.

Maiden: Great, now what do I do? There isn't another witch for at least three towns over.

Witch: And he's an enchanter blacksmith type. Makes protective amulets and beefs up swords. Makes really good horseshoes. Can't fix poxes. Makes a mean rabbit stew though. And...

Maiden: And is very good at sex and hard to kill, yes everyone knows that. You tell us repeatedly. Even though we kicked you out.

Witch: It's important. How are you not dead yet, by the way? You're an adult and you haven't bought anything yet so you should be dead by now.

Maiden: I'm not into people that way. Your weird sex based spells don't work on me. That's why I'm the one that came.

Witch: I would branch out but I'm barred from taking more classes at the guild. Because of the murder.

Maiden: Right, well I'm gonna go before you poison me.

Witch: What about the pox?

Maiden: I do have a mild form of it so you've been exposed too. Someone of your age is much more likely to die from it.

Witch: What?

Maiden: I'd suggest you find an accredited friend that hasn't been convicted of unnecessary murder.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Maiden: I have come a long way to find you.

Enchanter: One second. (throws a sword over his shoulder where it crashes into several metal tools and starts glowing)

Enchanter: Okay, what do you need?

Maiden: There's a pox in my town.

Enchanter: (pulls an amulet out of his pocket and holds it over her head)

Enchanter: You don't seem to have it, but it's touched you.

Maiden: I got better. Can you help?

Enchanter: I enchant swords. Why are you visiting me?

Maiden: Because the only witch in our town is...

Enchanter: Wait, don't tell me. Are you from Ravenfalls?

Maiden: Yeah.

Enchanter: Tabatha. Of course. That quack.

Maiden: She only kills people and does abortions.

Enchanter: Oh no she doesn't do abortions. She just drowns babies. I don't even think she knows what a fetus is.

Maiden: Oh.

Enchanter: Yeah. Terrible cook too. Normally herbalists are pretty good at cooking but she's just...

Maiden: The worst. I know. Do you at least know who can help? All of our elders and babies are dropping off like flies. People are strapping chickens to their arms. It's a mess.

Enchanter: (clicks tongue a few times) The nearest guy that specializes in pox is in the mountains. Not the coast range but the big angry looking pointy ones to the east. What were those called again?

Maiden: The Death Mountains?

Enchanter: Yeah, those. Unfortunate name, really. They're almost tolerable in the spring and summer. Don't know why they live there though.

Maiden: Can you teleport me there?

Enchanter: Why do people always ask that? Look I don't know what you've been hearing from Tabatha or traveling merchants but that's not safe for living creatures.

Maiden: Then what do I do? By the time I get back half the population will either be dead or still have birds strapped to their arms.

Enchanter: I hate to suggest this but you could like... with a shapeshifting dragon? And then ask for a wish?

Maiden: I'm not into people or dragons that way.

Enchanter: Then I guess I'll see if I can do something for your horse's shoes but that won't be nearly as fast.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Maiden: I have...

Herbalist: Come a very long way to see me. I know.

Maiden: How did you...

Herbalist: Everyone says that. Come sit. Do you like tea?

Maiden: I don't have time for tea. My village has a pox.

Herbalist: Which pox?

Maiden: It's mostly affecting older people and it's... purple.

Herbalist: Oh. What shade of purple?

Maiden: Very bright.

Herbalist: Oh, that's not a pox. That's a curse. Or a curse mixed with a usually just annoying pox. Someone in your area has probably pissed someone off.

Maiden: I'm from Ravenfalls.

Herbalist: In that case I think we can both guess who brought forth someone's ire. Who created it though, still remains a mystery. In any case, you can buy this bag of weeds and instruct people to boil them in small batches and inhale the steam. It won't cure anything, but it will most likely help people breathe better, which may help them survive long enough to fight it off.

Maiden: What do I do about Tabatha and the people strapping chickens to their arms?

Herbalist: My dear, some things can't be fixed completely. Plant this all over your town though and Tabatha will most likely avoid you. You can have these for free.

Maiden: I'm not going to bring some magic plant into town unless I know what it is.

Herbalist: Oh, it's not very magic. It's a cedar tree I've enchanted to grow very quickly. She's deathly allergic to cedar wood and pollen.

Maiden: Oh.

Herbalist: I really can't do anything for the chickens though. People will do strange things when they're desperate.

Maiden: Will I ever know who cursed us?

Herbalist: You may or may not. Wile you're here though, would you care to buy a love potion?

Maiden: I'm not into people that way.

Herbalist: You wouldn't fit in at the witches guild then. That's why most of us go in. It's a very good profession for swingers.

Maiden: That's why I went into city government. Well, thank you for all that.

Herbalist: And thank you for visiting. Tell the enchanter that I said hi and tell Tabatha to take a hike for me.

Maiden: I will. You have my word on that.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Enchanter: Hello.

Maiden: Enchanter? What are you doing here?

Enchanter: My name is John.

Maiden: It feels weird to call you that. You're the magic blacksmith I met on my quest.

Enchanter: I understand. So do you know who I'd talk to about renting a lot here?

Maiden: For what purpose? Oh, right. Me. Talk to me about it. I manage Lord Raven's lots and do logging and hunting permits and collect rent and whatnot

Enchanter: I want to set up my shop here. Business is better here for weapons and ever since she moved out, well...

Maiden: Was she after you?

Enchanter: She was under the impression that we were still married.

Maiden: Yes, she definitely was. Well, I think I can set you up. The village will benefit from having a reputable witch nearby. I'll get you in contact with a carpenter and scout out a spot for you.

Enchanter: Wait, I have something for you.

Maiden: An amulet?

Enchanter: For keeping away unwanted romantic advances.

Maiden: (covers her mouth and starts crying just a little bit)

Maiden: Sir, I can't...

Enchanter: You drove away a person that made my life a living hell for years. You saved your town. You drove out a murderer. You went into the Death Mountains in the middle of the winter. Take it.

Maiden: (takes it) John, did I ever tell you when we met that I desperately wanted to become friends with you?

Enchanter: No, but once I'm moved in I think we can give it a try.

Maiden: I'll get the paperwork and meet you at the tavern. Dinner's on me.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

The aromantic fantasy story we've all been waiting for.

[white-throated-packrat]

oh this is lovely

[knightofleo]

Kestrel-dad not sure how to dad but he’s trying his best.

[knightofleo]

[varrictithrass]

so i drew this post...

[varrictithrass]

Has this been drawn yet?

[ghostlypawn]

this video is making me SOB

[standardbox]

[luulapants]

[c-rowlesblogs]

recently on the Mass Effect subreddit (I know, I know), I saw something VERY silly that I feel is representative of a wider problem with the way a certain flavor of dude nerd engages with a piece of media they like and fanworks thereof.

Someone had posted a gorgeous piece of fanart (not theirs) showing Tali and Legion, and the very first comment, with a whole bunch of upvotes and a LONG-ass pedantic discussion thread unspooling out below it, was from somebody mad about Tali having an omniblade out in the picture, because “she doesn’t fight with one in the game.”

This is dumb for two reasons. One reason is that the omniblade was an artistic choice, for aesthetics and drama and symbolism and whatever else the artist’s purposes were. Sometimes characters have stuff in a picture. It doesn’t matter if that contradicts video game mechanics because this is a picture, for you to look at with your imagination.

The second reason is that it’s an omniblade. Probably anyone can get one, you just go to the omnitool store and download the Knife App. The dude who cashiers at the levo-dextro bodega next to the tram station down the street on the Presidium has an omniblade. Your edgy nephew has an omniblade. Also, this is Tali. Of COURSE she’d download a knife for her smart watch. Have you met her.

[c-rowlesdraws]

@shinobicyrus This is absolutely my headcanon now. She has an omni-blade, it’s just on like page 5 of her homescreen and it’s always too much hassle in the heat of battle to type “b-l-a-d-e [etc]” into the search function

[silverhawk]

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

[wbicepuppy]

no come back ma’am

[spoookiepie]

*under my breath* underwater girlfriend

[transmechanicus]

underwater wife

[jambambles]

Underwater love of my underwater life

[bulbasaur-propaganda]

Growing up with your starters

Artist:  esasi8794 / Twitter

[chabbit]

The captions are also really cute, although they mostly describe what’s in each photo:

Bulbasaur: Somehow, nomming on my clothes… has become a weird habit of theirs.

Venusaur: That hasn’t changed now that they’ve grown, but they’re very gentle.

Charmander: It’s my first attempt, but I made a plushie so that he wouldn’t get lonely.

Charizard: That plushie seems to be his favorite even now.

Squirtle: Squirtle’s a bit timid and hides behind me at the smallest things.

Blastoise: Looks like they’re scared of the first Pichu they’ve seen. You’re not really hiding!

[notsomerryerry]

@noelle217

[gale-gentlepenguin]

This is adorable

[arrghigiveup]

They just posted some more!

[source]

[kradeiz]

And some more!

[eeveelution-appreciation]

You forgot these!!!

[cubonepropoganda]

I’m disappointed that these were left out

[cloudfreed]

Ugh I love all these. I want to hug Dragonite, Bewear, and Quagsire too!

[tell-rodimus-i-love-him]

Is he bothering you, King?

[fernacular]

Ratchet: All right let’s test this out. I’ve got a patient here, and as you can see if we open up his leg chassis, there’s a pretty big fracture. How would you repair this? Spinister: Well first thing’s first I’m gonna take the squiggly parts out, ‘cause he doesn’t need ‘em, then I’m gonna make the energon do a whirly-gig into the tube over here, slip this whangdangler under the slicey boys, jimmy the shiny spoony bit back up, melt a couple oopsy-doodles together, *CRACK* the crunchy bang-bangs back into place, wipe it down, and wrap it up for space Christmas. 

Ratchet: …..Well you’ve fixed it. More efficiently than I’ve ever seen it done, and using a method I have never even conceived of. Spinister: Mmhm Ratchet: And could you possibly tell me the name of the part you just repaired? Spinister: It’s the Up-And-Down Spirally Part that goes Brrrrrr

Ratchet:

[warlordenfilade]

Spinister absolutely reminds me of the testing for prospective WWII ground crew mid-war, which was a practical test. Some people couldn’t pass the pre-war written test, but if they could fix the actual equipment, they were good to go.