10+ yrs in psyops, looking for my next opportunity @luulapants - Tumblr Blog

My Stuff

Current Writing Projects:

The Tennis Club | Heated Rivalry | Explicit | Ilya/Shane, Ilya/Others, Shane/Others

Ilya and Shane find their way into The Tennis Club, a network of closeted hockey players that hook up - so long as everyone keeps it casual. Which is no problem! They can do casual, right? Featuring Scott Hunter and Ryan Price, as well as a cast of OCs.

Recent Fanfiction:

my momsold me to Scott Hunter, a Shane Hollander fanfiction | Heated Rivalry | Explicit | Ilya/Shane, Scott/Shane

So maybe Shane had a little crush on Scott Hunter in his younger years. So maybe he anonymously posted online about it once. So maybe that post become an internet legend and a running joke in the MLH.

What The Fuck Is An Elder Queer | Heated Rivalry | Teen | Ilya & Scott

In which Ilya Rozanov adopts himself into Scott and Kip's household and refuses to leave. Kip finds this very sweet. Scott is going to kill him.

The Reward You Earned | The Fast & The Furious | Explicit | 28,399 words

Three years after he let Dominic Toretto escape in LA, Brian O'Connor shows up on his doorstep in Mexico. He's not the same person Dom knew back then, though, having just escaped an arrangement with a dangerous man named Carter Verone. This fic follows Dom and Brian as they negotiate their new relationship and, in parallel, looks back at what happened with Verone in Colombia. Inspired by Sandrine Shaw's 2005 fic The Devil You Know.

Batman:

La Perla | Explicit | 8,196 words | Jason Todd/Tim Drake

Tim gets fixated on the idea of acquiring ethically-sourced cocaine. Yes, really. Featuring quasi-oviposition cocaine smuggling porn and coked-up Batman.

Two Maids, One Op | Explicit | 6,972 words | Jason Todd/Tim Drake

Tim asks for Jason to back him up on a mission where he'll be undercover in a maid cafe. When Tim falls asleep, Jason decides to take the mission on himself.

Marvel (Daredevil/Punisher):

Like a Crateful of Grenades | Explicit | 30,821 words

The Avengers Tower Fratt fake dating fic.

A Hole in the Wall | Explicit | 2,343 words

Frank helps Matt hide out while half the city hunts him down.

Supernatural:

Worship in Recursion | Mature | 5,745 words | Adam Milligan/Michael one-shot

Canon-compliant account of Adam and Michael’s time together in the cage between Swan Song and being released in s15.

Some Cruel Tide | Mature | 4,318 words | Complete

Pre-canon AU. Dean’s first case goes awry when a shapeshifter posing as John Winchester takes advantage of his obedience to his father. Warnings for nonexplicit depictions of sexual abuse.

A Cliff That Knew Too Many Tides | Explicit | 94,501 words | Complete

Season 1 AU exploring the consequences of Some Cruel Tide. Dean’s relationship with his father is more strained, his devotion more intense, and Sam is increasingly able to see through the cracks in Dean’s paranoid facade. Featuring Cassie Robinson and Deacon Kaylor as prominent side characters. Warnings: internalized homophobia, past trauma, and trauma responses.

WIPs on hold:

American Politics AU. Republican Congressman Dean Winchester, at risk of losing his reelection, makes an unwitting deal with the devil: a wealthy corporate donor intent on controlling a closeted politician through blackmail and bribery. Castiel Novak, a political fixer, is there to make sure their asset does as he's told.

Riptide | Supernatural | Explicit | 29,307 | Work-In-Progress

Season 2 continuation of the Tidewaters series.

Four Places John Could Have Taken Dean, One He Did, And One He Never Could | Mature | 12,155 words | Work-In-Progress

A companion piece to Tidewaters from John's POV, exploring other outcomes that could have been in the aftermath of Some Cruel Tide.

Sandpaper on Glass | Mature | 5,946 words | Work-In-Progress

A Tidewaters AU canon rewrite in which Sam was raised by Pastor Jim and Dean was raised by Ellen Harvelle, both estranged by their father after the events of Some Cruel Tide.

Current fandom interests:

Heated Rivalry, Supernatural, Daredevil, Batman, Hannibal, The Expanse, The Flash/DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, Marvel (MCU crit), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Merlin

Other interests:

Birds

Name etymology and usage history

Shaming rich people for ugly houses and wealth crimes

Past Writing

#for pinning

luulapants

the underlying message of any ethically sane hockey story should be "abolish the NHL and all existing youth hockey programs" btw which is one of the many things wrong with the gamechangers series

nothing-an-iratze-cant-fix

Not sure this is an appropriate criteria on which to judge airport bookshop smut.

luulapants

"[One current NHL player] told me he preferred to focus only on the good that can be found in hockey. 'I know that we have problems but I don't want to spend time thinking about them,' he said. 'It's just not comfortable.'" [...] "'We only deal with positive aspects of the sport,' BC Hockey Gazette publisher and editor Jody Fireman told the Sun. 'There's enough negative stuff out there. We just want to glorify the players is what we do. We just make them feel good about the game.' "For the past century, too many people have wanted to just 'feel good' about hockey. Every sport, every industry, every corner of society has been touched by power imbalances and cases of sexual misconduct. Hockey is no exception, and it deserves the same scrutiny as any other sector or sport." [...] "When Hodge took his idea [about tactfully addressing rampant alcohol and substance abuse in hockey] to his Hockey Night producers Ralph Mellanby, Ted Hough and Frank Selke Jr., their response was immediate. 'The reaction was 'How stupid can you be to even consider bringing this to us?'' he told me. "Hodge said that his bosses told him it wasn't Hockey Night's job to scrutinize hockey. The most popular television show in Canada was created to celebrate teh game and those who played it at the highest level. Put bluntly, their job was to sell hockey and to safeguard its idealized image."

-We Breed Lions: Confronting Canada's Troubled Hockey Culture, by Rick Westhead

Just about every person that has produced media about hockey in Canada for the past century has been insisting that it's not their job to examine or even admit that this is a fucked up, systemically toxic sport full of corruption and built on child endangerment and abuse.

And I can judge airport bookshop smut on any criteria I damn well please, thanks.

eixd-deactivated20150710

The rest of the space is going to be pretty pissed when they see this.

thesassycat

did you google how to take a screen shot

Hi this is literally so small and obviously no pressure to change it but i need you to know that the only gay bar in st paul is a kind of dyke-y soccer bar and i just feel like thats not what you meant when you said that berg caught cohen sneaking into a gay bar. They would really need to be in minneapolis to have opportunities to catch each other going into gay bars. I love your fic!!!<3

That would be true today, but Cohen was caught in 2008! The nightlife scene in St. Paul, specifically, was a lot more lively back then, and I've found quite a few sources online about night life and gay bars St. Paul during that time period - though a lot has been written about the collapse in the downtown economy after that, probably due to the 2008 financial crisis.

Thank you for reading and I love your commitment to realism!! (I've def gone back and changed a few historical realism that readers caught <3)

#asks #the tennis club

I would love to hear more about Phil Lorenzo just because he’s on my hometown team (every time I read I’m like ROCKFORD MENTIONED!!!!!) is there a particular you kept the IceHogs name??

Yes!! Actually Phil's chapter is coming up next, so get hyped! Aside from his perpetual agony at being stuck in the cornfields and the lack of gay players on the Chicago team, you might also notice in the chat that he's quick to stick up for people or shut down guys that are getting too mean-spirited with their chirps. He's on the sensitive side for a hockey player, which hasn't always been easy for him.

As for the team name, I actually kept all of the AHL team names and also haven't been keeping to period-accurate AHL team locations either. When I started digging into the team structures for the NHL and AHL, I quickly realized that the AHL added a LOT of moving parts. The teams fold and move and shift way more frequently than the NHL and there's less information available about them in general - whether certain players moved when NHL affiliation shifted, whether the team completely collapsed, changed locations, changed leagues, or just lost its affiliation. To save my own sanity, I decided to keep the AHL component as simple as possible, not change names (for the most part - the Milwaukee Admirals are now the Milwaukee Rangers lmao) and act as though the current teams have always functioned the way they do now.

I made a few shifts and changes to the NHL>MLH teams, too, and I've come up with alternate names for all of them with the exception of the New Jersey Devils, because that is an objectively correct name in every universe.

If anyone's curious, here's my list of in-universe MLH team names (with their AHL affiliates):

#asks #the tennis club #original characters

luulapants

the underlying message of any ethically sane hockey story should be "abolish the NHL and all existing youth hockey programs" btw which is one of the many things wrong with the gamechangers series

luulapants

this is what we all need to be manifesting okay?

snackmurdock

Me, not a Heated Rivalry fan, reading this and radically misunderstanding what you mean by Game Changer

luulapants

sam reich's silence on hockey abolition is DEAFENING

luulapants

the underlying message of any ethically sane hockey story should be "abolish the NHL and all existing youth hockey programs" btw which is one of the many things wrong with the gamechangers series

luulapants

this is what we all need to be manifesting okay?

the underlying message of any ethically sane hockey story should be "abolish the NHL and all existing youth hockey programs" btw which is one of the many things wrong with the gamechangers series

meangirlnurse

wtf-is-hockey

I think once Ilya and Shane are in a committed relationship, and the both of them learn about each other's respective experience (or lack thereof) with substances, Ilya absolutely fucking begs Shane to get high or shitfaced just once and Shane refuses for years until one day Ilya makes a deal with him like, if you win your seventh cup with the Centaurs you have to smoke weed one time and Shane is like no but I'll try a gummy and only then and then Ilya is like and if you EVER do any substance without me there to witness it I'll NEVER forgive you and Shane is like yeah okay sure that's going to happen but then one night he goes out with Rose to some Hollywood elite's exclusive party and one way or another Shane eats something or drinks something or swallows something he doesn't realize is a substance of some kind and shortly after Rose sends Ilya a video of Shane high as a kite at a party and Ilya hasn't seen him like that since he was in the hospital only now instead of being confined to a bed and injured he's dancing with people on a coffee table and Ilya sprints to his fastest sports car and the speeding ticket he gets comes with the maximum fine and a 30-day suspension of his license.

luulapants

Does anyone remember the baby monkey riding backwards on a pig

luulapants

this was my entire personality for like 3 months

#Youtube

Most Likely to Try and Pet a Moose - There are two prospects for this title.

Jussi Kallio truly and deeply believes that he could commune with the mind of a moose and convey to it that he means no harm. His outdoorsman knowledge is 90% based on deeply held convictions that he invented in the palace of his mind.

Keith Kowalski would try to pet a moose because he thought it was a deer that was very close to him and by the time he realized it was big, it was too late to back off.

#the tennis club #original characters

most likely to sext in the tennis club app and then freeze irl... the discord look is so special to me

You all are NOT prepared for Cory Gardonyi's impending sexual awakening. And, critically, neither is Cory Gardonyi.

#asks #the tennis club #original characters

OCs!!! OK -

So Kallio or maybe Shane is the most outdoorsy, right? Who is the most cityboy?

Williams is pretty canonically established as the biggest gossip, but does he indulge outside of Tennis club?

Best hockey flow?

Most Cityboy - Jeremy Martin 😭 He grew up in Lausanne, Switzerland and was dragged up a mountain exactly once as a child, cried the whole time, and went home early. If he sees a bug, he will leave the room. The first time he saw a moose, he almost abandoned ship and went back to Europe. Shane takes him hiking sometimes, but every time he sees a dog print, he asks if it's a wolf. He carries bear spray in Montreal. Just in case.

Williams Gossip - YES. Yes, Williams knows everything about everyone forever. He is still young in his career, but assuming head injuries don't impact his memory, his encyclopedic knowledge of every scandal, secret, and social conflict in the MLH will someday make him a terrifyingly powerful man.

Best Hockey Flow - Phil Lorenzo has the classic hockey flow hairstyle and has thick, soft hair to back it up. He does use conditioner. In secret. Because he does think that hair conditioner is a gay thing.

#asks #the tennis club #original characters

love your ocs in the tennis club so much. id love to know who’s the worst at tennis and who’s most likely to bring up hockey during sex

Worst at Tennis - Setting aside baby Gordy who hasn't started playing yet, Williams is the worst because he finds it deeply boring. He's constantly wandering over to his opponent's side of the net to talk. He stops for a water break or to check his phone after every serve. It's unclear if he's ever actually finished a game.

Most Likely to Bring up Hockey During Sex - I'm gonna go with Henry McGee mostly because he's hyper competitive and likes to rile people up. If the sex is getting too sweet and affectionate, he can always start an argument about hockey ♥️

#asks #the tennis club #original characters

hello can you please tell me more about Eli and Berg and their tragic affair I am unreasonably attached to them

Yesssss. Okay, so in the story we already have this story about Berg being the one to catch Eli. Berg at this point has been in Tennis Club and the MLH/Nomads for one (1) year, catches Eli sneaking off to a gay bar, intervenes, and relays what Kallio explained to him last year - that American hockey is too homophobic to let a player be gay and have a real career.

Which is crushing, obviously, even if Eli already sort of knew. But there's also this world of queer players that opens up to him, so it's this vulnerable, emotionally charged moment when he loses his virginity to Berg that night. It's like - okay, this is what being gay in hockey is going to look like. Imprints like a baby duck. Drops out of college.

I don't think Berg was really prepared for how attached Eli got to him, but he was aware of it early on. And he does like Eli, but that's a ton of emotional pressure, to be someone's north star of how to express queer sexuality. Berg is pretty uninhibited sexually, a little pervy in his sense of humor, and that translates to Eli trying very hard to perform sexual availability to impress him. When he's called up, it's a lot of threesomes with other guys in the club, and there's a lot of Eli, like, messing around with the third guy but peeking over his shoulder to see if Berg likes what he's doing. And Berg does find this extremely hot, but if he lets himself think about it too deeply, it's also an uncomfortable amount of power that he never asked for.

What can he do, though? (Certainly not honest emotional communication lmao) Rejecting Eli would be painful for both of them. Leaning into it feels toxic. So mostly he just tries to ignore it and hopes that Eli will grow out of it. In a way, I think he was probably relieved for Eli to trade away and force some distance between them.

#asks #the tennis club #original characters

luulapants

🫣 hey. 👉👈 uhmmmmm can we talk about my OCs today

luulapants

If you ask me about any of them I will gab at you for ages and ages and that is a promise 🥰

oknotgood

hello! i would like to hear about your OCs!

luulapants

ok without further guidance, let's assign some superlatives!

(all of these OCs are from The Tennis Club - there's a character guide)

Most Committed to Bearding - If we're defining 'OC' super strictly, Liam Casey isn't eligible from this, since he's mentioned briefly in Heated Rivalry (the book). But I've basically made him up wholecloth and he very much deserves this honor!! He is gay and has two ex-wives and a child with each of them. He is still dating women and will probably get married again. Get well soon, Casey ♥️

Runner Up - Eli Cohen! Renowned for fumbling 'every woman in Des Moines,' he is now in the big city of Toronto where he may never run out of women to date once and never sleep with!

Best at Tennis - The goalies dominate this category, naturally, with their lightning-fast reflexes and skill for lunging. It's a matter of hot debate whether Anaheim's Dominik Vrubel or Vancouver's Jussi Kallio holds this title, despite many games they insisted would prove it once and for all. They would both rather die than admit defeat.

Most Chronically Online - Our newbie baby Cory Gordonyi aka Gordy has never met a doom he wouldn't scroll. He has a million burner accounts he uses to read everything that has ever been said about him online. He intentionally spilled water on his own laptop before his draft because he couldn't stop himself.

What other superlatives would we like to see??

oknotgood

Oh I LOVE this.

How bout....

Most Likely to Fail at Keeping it Casual?

Best Hype Playlists?

Biggest foodie?

Weirdest Fashion Sense?

Best at Any Sport Other Than Hockey or Tennis?

Most Likely to Become a Drag Queen?

Weirdest Non-Sport Hobby?

luulapants

Most Likely to Fail at Keeping it Casual - Joey Villa and Keith Kowalski are happily sharing this title and making sickly cute noises at each other as we speak ♥️

Best Hype Playlists - This one also goes to Joe Villa, a hyperactive King who loves nothing more than a bridge section that must be screamed along to.

Biggest foodie - Dominik Vrubel is one of those guys who gets into a new thing and decides to make it his whole personality for a few months, and cooking is one of his perennial obsessions. He owns a stupid amount of kitchen gadgets.

Weirdest Fashion Sense - Jussi Kallio for sure. A tragic combination of needing to look and feel like he's ready to survive off the land at a moment's notice and a horrific aversion to Bad Clothing Textures. He's never met an outfit that couldn't be elevated with cargo shorts.

Best at Any Other Sport - Well, the go-to off-season sport for hockey players is golf, and Mark Archer certainly will not be spending the off-season with his wife, so he is at the golf course like it's his fucking job. He'll kick anyone's ass at golf. He'll kick his own ass.

Most Likely to Become a Drag Queen - idk if any of them are uninhibited enough to do this tbh. I could see McGee doing it out of spite maybe, but I don't think he'd be good at it lmaoooo

Weirdest Non-Sport Hobby - Maybe not weird in and of itself, but Dylan Paulsen is perpetually picking up hobbies that he's terrible at. In his quest to be a Good Husband, he has tried his hand at carpentry, auto and appliance repair, sewing, gardening, and even tried to get certified as a doula during his wife's second pregnancy. His wife had to beg him to stop every time.

#the tennis club #original characters

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

10+ yrs in psyops, looking for my next opportunity