Hello, I'm... ridiculous!

I try to keep this a positive, recovery-safe space, so if you're triggered by something I've posted, please let me know.

[dinodoodler7]

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself lying in a familiar ballpit

[just-shower-thoughts]

Instead of being buried or cremated I’d rather be intentionally Medusa’d

[funnytwittertweets]

[cat-the-human]

[fallontonight]

Jojo Siwa explains the risk of coming out publicly she felt when talking to her girlfriend beforehand, but then emphasizes how happy she is that she did! 🌈❤️

[slothful-rabbit]

I laughed so fucking hard at this

[hupperts]

Oscar Isaac & Pedro Pascal | WIRED

[big-ass-magnet]

dialogue choices in Mass Effect be like

I should go (affectionate)

I should go (indifferent)

I should go (derogatory)

[charlesoberonn]

Mass Effect itself is fine as an RPG series but it's at fault for popularizing this dumbed down dialog wheel.

[inqilabi]

All mothers I’ve ever known were effectively single mothers, even when they had a husband.

[maverick2095]

[tchaikovskaya]

a LOT of women agree with this but men like….. universally object its hilarious

[inqilabi]

case in point. And it’s actually the mom on a call and not the dad.

[addictedtocaring]

Tbh I predict a lot of post covid divorces. This is a very common story.

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

mcdonalds gave me the boys toy in my happy meal and ive been transgender ever since

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

DONT LEAVE THAT IN THE TAGS THATS FUNNY

[jankybones]

Go ahead and tell me im wrong

[musashi]

THIS IS LITERALLY ASH KETCHUM’S ROOM IT IS THE SECOND SCENE OF SEASON 1 EPISODE 1 OF THE POKEMON ANIME FROM 1997 CAN FAKE NERD BOYS PLEASE GO

[ryttu3k]

Also consider: sports fans.

[34ther]

Pokemon is like if sports and cats were blended into the ultimate all-consuming marketable thing

[eevee-nicks-deactivated20200325]

That’s… actually the best explanation of Pokémon I’ve ever seen.

[sandetigerrr]

ahsgdjhsagladgksadghsadgjsadgkhasdkghsag 

yes

[eggcup-deactivated20180129]

hmm? what’s that? oh, you don’t like my seeds? *evolves into a fruit that bears no seeds but is now a monoculture that is especially susceptible to pests and disease* how about that idiot 

[boo-boo-the-fool-strikes-again]

Don’t vague post about bananas you scum

[strongbowdarkfruit]

there was a lizard in the shower so i said hello to it and the person showering next to me was like “hi??” i wasn’t sure whether to carry on the conversation or be like sorry i was talking to a lizard 

[penny-anna]

‘Life is very full of sex, or should be. As much as I admire Tolkien — and I do, he was a giant of fantasy and a giant of literature, and I think he wrote a great book that will be read for many years — you do have to wonder where all those Hobbits came from, since you can’t imagine Hobbits having sex, can you? Well, sex is an important part of who we are. It drives us, it motivates us, it makes us do sometimes very noble things and it makes us do sometimes incredibly stupid things. Leave it out, and you’ve got an incomplete world.’ George R R Martin (source)

no disrespect to george rr martin but this quote cracks me up bcos every time i see if I’m just like, no george… you can’t imagine hobbits having sex. ;P

[penny-anna]

FOUND IT & I say again: I can imagine hobbits having sex just fine.

[ashi-sewehitsanethe]

Georgey boy here forgetting Sam’s 13 kids.

[penny-anna]

he didn’t forget about them. he just doesn’t understand where they came from.

[ashi-sewehitsanethe]

That’s even funnier, then.

[penny-anna]

george rr martin, looking at the gamgee family tree and crying: wh-where… where did they all come from…….

[scarlet-silverweaver]

this man is apparently under the impression that we need sex scenes to understand that sex exists in any given story universe and honestly that explains so much about his writing

[ailurinae]

It really does

[boopednose]

HOBBITS FUCK GOOD AND THEY FUCK OFTEN

[experimental-sponge]

“When we are going to have sex?”

“…We’ve already had it.”

“We’ve had it once, yes. What about second sex?”

[brookietf]

Does he realize The Hobbit is a children’s book?

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“I mean it’s very whimsical and fun but where are all the sex scenes”

“Sir please leave this bookshop…”

[liveandletrain]

i can’t even BEGIN with all this im laughing too hard to think but imma just make a note about the disturbing implication that anything vaguely wholesome cannot exist alongside sex in grr martin’s mind.

[kalessinsdaughter]

Imagine reading about how much hobbits enjoy all of life’s pleasures, and *not* being able to imagine them having sex.

It’s extremely illuminating about how GRRM’s mind works, though, and explains so much about his work.

[petermorwood]

GRRM can’t imagine hobbits having sex, yet JRR Tolkien (a devout Catholic) certainly could.

“Be fruitful and multiply”. Oh yes. Take a look at those family trees. Despite the hobbit fondness for living underground, procreation like that is not a result of “growing out of stone” as dwarves were supposed to do.

I have a feeling that GRRM can’t imagine hobbit sex because for the most part it’s far removed from the sort of “dramatically interesting” (i.e. perverse, rough, forced, anything but fun, affectionate or even loving) sex he writes for Westeros.

I use “for the most part“ because of Ted Sandyman the miller, who was a nasty piece of work and can’t be the only one like that in the Shire. What goes on behind those closed doors might well be right up GRRM’s alley.

The peculiar void in GRRM’s imagination becomes really obvious when a model-maker like Shep Paine could tuck tongue in cheek back in 1979 and create a diorama like “The Shady Side of the Shire”.

Yup, that’s a house of negotiable affection, and the “What can I get for this?” negotiations are about to start.

If a writer can’t imagine anything happening without needing to describe it in graphic detail, then when one of that writer’s characters goes to the privy I’m going to skip a page or so. There’s World-Building and there’s Realism and there’s Immersion and there’s Too Much Information - unless intestinal disorders are part of the plot, and even then Why It’s Happened is far more important than Watch And Smell This.

                                                            *

Another thought: if “A Song of Ice and Fire” is a epic of sex and violence whose fans are annoyed that the next volume isn’t finished, with supposedly at least one volume more to follow about which hardly anything has been said, does that make it an epic of vex and silence?

I’ll see myself out… ;-P

[tartapplesauce]

No, see, Tolkien has realistic sex.  As in, you bang, you have kids, you have to raise those kids, life is what it is.  You have fun, you work hard, sometimes there are dragons.

Many young hobbits were included, and present by parental permission; for hobbits were easy-going with their children in the matter of sitting up late, especially when there was a chance of getting them a free meal. Bringing up young hobbits took a lot of provender.

If you can’t imagine Hobbits having sex because it’s not incest, near as dammit to rape, or the parties involved are older/not sexy skinny waifs, that’s your problem, George.

[sandersstudies]

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

[sandersstudies]

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

[hoonkus-deactivated20230701]

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

[sandersstudies]

Apparently she tried to call her dad but it was 3am and he was obviously sleeping so she called my husband and he not only came to find her but fished her glasses out of the hood of the car (she’d dropped them while looking inside), drove her to the hospital, and told her to take the day off. She insisted on coming back to work so he used his lunch break to watch TV with her to make sure she didn’t doze off (concussion risk).

You’ve heard of the Mom friend but my husband is very much the Dad friend. He said when he answered the phone she said “hey please don’t be mad” and he’s never felt such powerful Fatherhood energy in his life.

[deliciouspaintthinner]

Girl: *calls for aid*

Every single dad packed into the car:

[sandersstudies]

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

[i-like-to-think-that-im-cool]

This girls father: Thanks for helping my daughter out guys

Your husband and all his coworkers:

[b00bconnoisseur]

Everytime i see this post i cant help but reblog

[thatbeluga]

This is what boys will be boys should mean

[b00bconnoisseur]

Yo you are absolutely right

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]