Rediscovering Life

He/They. An entity in a mentally sick but physically thicc body. 29 and working on getting my adult book published

[cutetanuki-chan]

Gideon is about to break couple bones

close ups:

[cutetanuki-chan]

someone said whose

Harrow's

[itsdappleagain]

jesus no

[c3rvida3]

I wish rainbow trout flew around in the skies so I could release them like doves at my wedding.

[xray-vex]

[bbyteach]

Is this too 🌶️ for tumblr… let’s find out

[bbyteach]

What would they call this in terms of foh or boh

[merryfinches]

Whatever they call it, Stede is definitely whispering “yes, you like that, don’t you?”

[bbyteach]

ohhhh my goddddd

[bbyteach]

delicious spicy things are now going to be posted up on my patreon! I will start doing a monthly meal that will only be posted there (with crop previews posted elsewhere) including ways to dl my comics that aren't suitable for gumroad and etc

[ferndaphnia]

Well, it’s not that much more dramatic than running off to become a pirate, is it?

[amarshmallownamedo]

This the funniest fucking thing I have read about this show so far.

From this article.

[do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas]

[epersonae]

No but it's even better with this smidgen of extra context

Literally djenks fucking with him the whole time

[ammdakin]

Ed: That doesn't answer my question.

p.5 of my silly ofmd fanart 🦄🏴‍☠️🐙

[ow-my-skin]

Glasses people love to make you try their glasses on to see how fucked up their eyes are. It's a sign of respect in their culture.

[inthesensethat]

[sunflowerslut]

[deadreckon-deactivated20230712]

blood is basically the most normal thing for a sword to hunger for. if a sword gained sentience and started asking me for blood i'd be like yeah i thought you might say that

[txttletale]

my sword hungers for gochujang and its a real pain to get the good stuff

[eldritchsandwich]

The demonic sword grabs my hand tightly preventing me from ever putting it down and fills me with it’s unearthly lust for mashed potatoes and diet cola.

[therobotmonster]

"Look, I need you to listen to me." The blade spoke from its place gripped in the long-de-fleshed bones of its former master. It's blade was steel, polished to a satinlike, workman's finish, with an oddly vibrant red cross-guard and grip that was so shiny that it seemed wet. Along the blade was engraved an abstract twisting coil that ended in a sharp point.

It spoke with the cadence of a used horse peddler.

"No, you're a cursed evil sword, probably thirsty for blood or souls or whatnot." The knight said, idly picking through the coin pouch that once belonged to the sword's master.

"Okay, yes. I am an evilly cursed sword. But I don't feed on blood or souls. But I am fucking starving and need your help."

" What is it then?" The knight sighed. This was not his first encounter with this sort of thing and the novelty had long since worn off. "Bile? Innocence? Fear? Plump Bavarian housefraus? Speak, fiend!"

"Fiend? I'm not even evil. The curse is evil, not me. Go ahead, detect my alignment, I won't even oppose the effort." The blade sounded offended.

The knight obliged, reasoning that he was going to have to take that precaution anyhow, and it was best to do so when the vile thing was most cooperative.

"True Neutral. Who curses a neutral sword? Much less evilly so?"

"Nevermind that. I see you have a bottle of beer there... Oh, two bottles! Oh I think we're gonna be good friends."

The knight raised a brow. "You drink alcohol?"

"No, never touch the stuff. Wouldn't be, ya know, professional-like. Nah, what I need, what I need is for you to take my blade, and just... pop the cap off that. Just pop it right off." The blade then made a "pop" sound with the mouth it didn't have. "Just like that."

"What?" The knight looked confused. Then he looked suspicious. "Is.. is this a kink?"

"What? No!"

The sword paused for two breaths longer than was reasonable.

"Maybe? Look, I feed on the satisfaction produced by that little pop when a cap or cork comes off, all pleasant and refreshing even before you take a drink. That's all I need, and I've been waiting for three centuries down here, conversing with the cranium rats, waitin' for it. Do you know what cranium rats talk about?"

"No?"

"Cheese. Cheese and world domination. They do not care at all for the simple pleasures of opening a cool, refreshing fermented beverage after a long day." The sword whispered, as if trying to hide his dealings from prying ears. "Tell ya what. If you give me that, I will improve my capacity to cause harm by a roughly 3 in 20 chance and do extra cold damage in your hand. That's a good deal right there."

The knight paused. The sword wasn't evil. It was powerful. And while all magic had its costs, sometimes those costs were just plain stupid. If faeries would make shoes in exchange for cream then why wouldn't a sword exchange power for a little ritual?

"Heck, you talked me into it. I'll even throw in detecting poisons! No extra charge. Just use me to crack into a cold one."

"What is it with you and opening beers? What kind of cursed sword feeds on removing caps and corks?"

"That's my curse!"

"How's that a curse?"

"I used to be a bottle opener!"

[dognotman]

[13lizardsinatrenchcoat]

Police may also feign kettles in order to cause a protest to disperse.

Protests that move quickly are harder to kettle (but are easier to split up as people get left behind). Something important to note is that kettles are used by police to gather intelligence. Police may tell you that you will be allowed to leave if you provide your name and your address, if you give information about other protestors etc. Police can and will lie to you, do not trust them. Never talk to cops. Being trapped in a kettle is stressful. Police may decide to arrest a few of you or all of you. Their goal is to gather information and to demoralize you. They might threaten or harass you. Your goal should be to remain calm and to help the people around you remain calm. Remember if nobody talks, everyone walks.

[prokopetz]

I've seen so many people popping into the comments on YouTube videos of random classic Bugs Bunny shorts and jokingly remarking "this is how gay porn starts" that I'm not gonna lie, now I kind of do want to see a gay porn where a wacky trickster spends eleven minutes tormenting some random uptight dude in increasingly outlandish ways, and then they fuck at the end.

[catastrophic-glamour]

[samreich]

pepsi OK? 🥤

[not-so-rosyyy]

no idea if it's my hormones, what I've seen in the news lately, the weight of living the past few years, or just because it's Judi Dench...but this impromptu performance really made me cry for a good ten minutes, no kidding.

[tgvqaz]

When in disgrace with fortune in men's eyes

I all alone between my outcast state

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries

And look upon myself and curse my fate,

Wishing me like to one more rich in Hope,

Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,

Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,

With what I most enjoy contented least;

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising...

Happy I think on thee, and then my state-

Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth sings hymns at heaven's gate;

For thy sweet love remembered, such wealth brings,

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

-William Shakespeare

"Sonnet #29"

Enjoy your weekend!

(my Thanks to the: @questavox blog)

[unpretty]

a fact about me is that i was an early bloomer who hit puberty in elementary school and was immediately, obnoxiously horny in ways that were uncomfortable for everyone because no one is prepared for an elementary schooler with b cups and a deep fascination with movies where people get tied up. another fact is that because i was considered smart for my age in the ways that mattered, i just accepted all this as a single package, the many ways that i was not really a child the way other children were children but was instead a miniature adult. i was technically a child, but not really, as far as i was concerned. it also did not occur to me until around high school that i was fat, because i instead considered myself to be sturdy, to be buff, to be built like a tank.

so somewhere around middle school i am noticing the ways in which i am Not Like Other Girls, the ways in which i am not what society says a girl is and the ways that things marketed to girls do not appeal to me. i don't know how other girls dealt with this, but i very rationally decided that i was only technically a girl, in the way that i was only technically a child. so i looked at the things that did appeal to me, and that i did enjoy, and reverse engineered my demographic to decide that on a practical and functional level i was a middle-aged man. i had also gotten really hornily into wolverine because of the first x-men movie, and ended up reading a lot of comics, so as you can imagine the comic book version of wolverine who is short and built like a tank and older than he looks despite being for all intents and purposes a middle aged man really had some appeal to me.

there are idiots who say shit about how tomboys would be considered trans these days or whatever, but i can assure you that was not what was happening here. by middle school i already had to special order bras and i was fine with that because of the many weird fetishes i was developing, none of which can be blamed on the internet because i hadn't found that shit yet and also to this day you would have a hard time finding anything similar to the things i wrote in my secret notebook and immediately destroyed. the fact that i was technically a girl was vital to all this. media where there was a big reveal that some cool dude had been a hot chick the whole time was my shit. weird feral beast people who turned out to be hot women once they took a bath? fuck yes. i would never have cut my hair because that would have ruined my chances to take off a helmet and reveal that i had girl hair. at no point did i think i was anything but a girl, it was just that i was functionally a middle-aged man, who was a girl.

what this means is that i still liked all the things i already liked, such as leather jackets and comic books and anime and old stand-up comedy, but i also did extensive research on the other things i felt i should like according to the demographic i had assigned myself. i watched vh1's 'i love the 70s' with the air of someone trying to hide their amnesia, even though my parents were children in the 70s. i got into the beatles. i tried to get into cars for a while before accepting that i only liked the vintage car aesthetic and couldn't be fucked to know actual car facts. i wore nothing but cargo shorts and aloha shirts for a while, which didn't really stand out that much because it was middle school. i bought a fedora and became a libertarian atheist. i made plans to buy a motorcycle (i could not ride a bike).

i gave up on it after a while because quite frankly my titty situation meant there was never really going to be a big reveal that i'd been a girl the whole time. it was pretty obvious even with the cargo shorts. also the older of a teen i was, the more likely it felt that i could maybe get laid, except i could tell that was never going to happen as long as i kept wearing cargo shorts. it took longer to give up the fedora because it was leather and i wore it with my leather jacket and fingerless gloves, which i convinced myself worked a lot better after i'd gone full high school goth. i lived in the desert so you can imagine how well that worked out for me, smell-wise.

anyway that's how my female socialization went, i don't think it was particularly successful tbqh

[unpretty]

cis, but for fetish reasons

[kleefkruid]

My dad was dealing with some mixed feelings so I told him "In therapy when something is too complicated to do a simple 'pro and contra list' we sometimes do an excercise where you imagine all these mixed feelings around a table in some kind of conference, letting each tell their bit and you leading the debate."

and my dad didn't really respond and just stared ahead so I kept preparing lunch. Until a few minutes later when he suddenly piped up: "I am having a bad time at the conference"

[humandisastersquad]

[kinsey-the-saiyan-deactivated20]

I too am having a bad time at the conference

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you too are having a bad time at the conference