13 lizards doing their best

Trench. they/them (it/its if we're friends). I am over the age of 18. Icon by @toxinfox. This blog is a random assortment of things I find interesting or fun.

[noodles-07]

"what if you regret it" what if I don't?

[trekturtle]

I understand your point, however this maybe wasn't the best post to cross my dash while I'm fighting the temptation to text my ex.

[noodles-07]

this is about transitioning DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX ITS NOT WORTH IT DONT DO IT

[memesandmylife]

hey jsyk while hellofresh is dummy expensive and i wouldn’t reccomend it if you already know how to cook (if you’re a beginner like i was when i had it for 3 months, then it’s worth it), you should know that ALL OF THEIR RECIPES are free on their website and they all fuck hard

i will say that all the cooking instructions for veggies are pretty much the same (season with salt + pepper and roast on the top oven rack at 425F), but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

that being said, it also introduced me to methods i wasn’t at all expecting. i would have never thought to use cream cheese in my meat sauce, and now all my friends are constantly asking me to make my special rigatoni.

happy cheffin! :)

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I am a person who uses Hello Fresh for realsies because it is a bit cheaper than groceries here and definitely cheaper than takeout, but we also remake the recipes when we want a specific one and don't want to wait for it to come around in the rotation again, and therefore I know The Secret Translations of Proprietary Ingredients:

"Cream sauce base" = make a roux, add milk according to how much cream sauce base you're supposed to have (ex: 4 oz cream sauce base = 4 oz milk)

"1 packet stock concentrate" = either one tablespoon Better than Bullion or, if you want to be really accurate, Savory Choice Broth Concentrate packets are available on Amazon and allegedly that's what they use

"Italian Heat Spice"/"Blackening Spice"/"Fry Seasoning"/etc.: I promise you someone on Reddit has figured out what spices they use and in what proportions for each mix, if it's not just a straight up branded mix (like McCormick Grill Mates Brown Sugar Bourbon spice mix)

"Roasted Garlic Herb Butter" (and other compound butters, like truffle butter) = they're literally Epicurean branded butters, they do not hide this, you can buy them online

"Sweet Soy Glaze"/"Ponzu sauce"/"Hoisin sauce" = literally Kikkoman brand condiments: they don't hide that, either

"Sweet Thai chili sauce" = any sweet Thai chili sauce from the grocery store will do. We use Blue Dragon or Taste of Thai because that's what we can get in our grocery store.

[unpretty]

blue apron also has recipes on their website! i use it regularly to steal ideas when meal planning for the week.

[tsunflowers]

I’m reading this book about the changing arctic and the author stayed with the Nunamiut people of inland alaska for a while and talked to this high school kid who was like “ugh I hate going to school in the spring I wish I was hunting caribou” and I thought that was charming. you often hear about people who are devoted to preserving their traditional culture and knowledge but it’s rare to hear about someone who’s invested in the old ways out of pure teenage selfishness. school is lame and hunting caribou is awesome

[romanceyourdemons]

love how goethe’s faust is like i am so hungry. i have been shoveling the ashes of the world into my belly searching for a crust of bread, stupidly searching, killing myself for a world that does not have bread anymore. since there is no bread, let mephistopheles bring me gold to eat. let him chop silver into salads and boil diamonds for my soup, and let me live like that until the day i am full—that is to say, let me live forever. and then marlowe’s faustus is like 24 years of demon boyfriend sounds good to me. does it sound good to you? it sounds good to me

[amazoogle]

love when someone unironically posts some shit like "bring back cucumbers" they went away??

[13lizardsinatrenchcoat]

I think the thing that bugs me about Waitress is that they never really explain why Jenna chooses to keep the baby?

She's a poor, pro-choice woman married to an abusive husband. She states multiple times that she does not want this baby. But she immediately decides to keep it without hesitation anyways???

[tsarina-anadyomene]

we should mandate industrial themed nonbinary names to balance out all of the people naming themselves after trees. throw Anvil into the mix

[ryebreadgf]

does anyone feel like they want to be punished just so they would stop feeling like they are about to be punished for something. like then at least it would be over. or is it just me

[sharigax]

My toxic fandom take is that I think that it's awful how much we can talk to creators and get answers from them word of god style. We should be out here in a godless place rooting for scraps of lore in the media like truffle pigs out in the fields

[shamebats]

I wish people were as scared of getting into a car accident as they are of being true crime'd. Maybe then they wouldn't be on their phones while driving.

[metanarrates]

all women should be more hairy and sweaty and eat more food and laugh more loudly. my stance as a feminist and also my stance as a lesbian pervert

[redstonedust]

the desire to sort everyone into "the good team" and "the bad team" is fascinating. i saw a post that was like "if you believe in transfeminist theory THIS is who you're aligned with! [screenshots of a trans woman being sexist]" and im like. yeah that sucks but who is that. do i know her. does she represent all of us now. is she the ceo of transgender. i didn't think we had one of those. why didn't anybody tell me.

[apricops]

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

[pigswithwings]

the fascinating thing about being abused is that years later youre gonna be there sitting around going "okay so what now". cause like theres no instruction manual is there

[pigswithwings]

youre gonna be buying groceries and then youre gonna remember you went through all that for literally no good reason and youre gonna go Oh Okay and put paper towels in your bag or whatever

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[starridge]

an unmatched feeling actually

[bonivers]

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

[secondbeatsongs]

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask