catboydreamer @catboydreamer - Tumblr Blog

about catboydreamer

22. adhd. (kind of) transmasc (fully) non-binary. smth smth mental illness fr. bisexual but asexual / demisexual(I can never ever decide). they/ them pronouns.

some things I like:

Scaramouche

xiao

writing until my hands bleed (metaphorical. but mental.)

drawing even though it makes me cry cause carpal tunnel

reading books until my eyes hurt

talking to / about my friends like it’s my life support

link to writing masterlist

#introduction #I hope u like me still #im just silly.#im actually trying to get a diagnosis but my doctor won’t call me back…#I need to know if it’s bipolar or smth else I stg #anyways this is it

my main male character accidentally got an essay worth lore drop today in my docs

#he’s so fucked #i love him tho #Everyone does #And if they don’t just remember you’ll see a demon under ur bed abt to eat u #abd it’s his best friend btw😭#im just happy my brain is working today tho omg

fleshing out one of my main characters backstories erm im scared

#he already has his own voice so ik he’ll be crazy here #it’s gonna be kinda insane I think

i will never date someone who hates reading again

#i got made fun of so bad #he couldn;t understand a core part of me lol #and when he couldn't understand he got defensive and made constant jokes abt it #like im sorry u arent good with words but dont u dare make me feel bad about it?#i just realized though that its important for me to be with someone who atleast tries to understand what makes me just me #WAIT THAT S IT #its literally cause he never tried to understand if he didn't like it he didnt really push to care #thats insane behaviorrrr

im gonna try to finish this scara piece tmr or smth like that so you guys have smth to gnaw on for a bit

#it’s been a week and I feel like i need to publish smth #even tho im hyper fixated on smth else rn but #scara is always smth I can come back to easy

thinking about how all my characters in this story has some sort of family linked trauma

#not a single one of these fuckers is normal #I have like six main characters but I still need to add a few more erm #im having fun though but I didn’t rlly imagine myself writing smth with a huge cast but here we go #all but one of them are friends #I think it feels like a theme tho to all give them a slice of family trauma #if u knew some of the things I wanna touch on then it makes sense lol likevits intentional? not just a ah I gotta give them trauma #if u get it ily

is it safe to talk abt my original work on here😟😟

#bc this is a genshin blog #but im a writer at heart so I write outside of fandom stuff #I dunno im just kind of feral abt these characters #I could make like a side blog abt them or smth ig? but I don’t rlly want to #I like merging all my energy into one huge bundle of mess abd then letting everyone feast on it idk #seriously I spent four hours working on Pinterest boards abt them bc it helps me brainstorm

I wrote four very loaded lines and never wrote anything else for the rest of the day😭😭

#to be fair I got distracted #I found things to do #and I kinda forgot I was writing #whoopsies

have to take a break during writing angst and to ask myself do i want this to end badly. or will I redeem it. or will I give a bittersweet ending.

#I will think abt it #but I don’t think there’s a way to sweep this away #bc it’s a complicated thing that u cant just kiss away #u cannot love someone enough for them to heal from that

I have fuel (peanut butter and jelly sandwiches) so now I can write🫶🏻🫶🏻

#what will I write is the question bc #I have a few different ideas #but hopefully I’ll do smth I think #yea

im probably gonna write some shit today I rlly feel like going on a writing rampage

#probably scara #bc he’s my baby and my own personal writing victim #if I hurt him don’t hurt me im just thinking and he’s actually ok abd it was just a dream

lately I haven’t been too overly proper w/ my writing which is crazy cause people still love it and find it regardless 🫶🏻

#I still tag them but #I dunno I just don’t expect it bc I have been lazily tagging the premise or just giving non and people r eating it up #also m really anxious abt a wirk thing #so maybe I’ll write smth quick to cheer me up here in a minute idk tho #anyways thank u to everyone who enjoys my shit lol

guys.... i have so many ideas for scara. do u maybe think im obsessed with him a little bit... hah... maybe?

#i am and always have been #i remember going in a scara rampage right around the time he was gonna get released #i was so fucking excited #i literally ate breathed and slept scara those two ish months before hand #and even after i was obsessed #and i always come back to him #like i dont play genshin regularly #but i always know him and love him

sometimes i act like a fucking dog bro. this is why i write though bc otherwise i;d be waiting for people to come online and speak to me.

#i have too much energy #so i have to channel it into writing #it works out tho anyways #atleast then im not rambling endless bc now my rambles are TARGETTED #sometimes im rabid abt my friends bc i love them #like sometimes im like a dog waiting for its owner to come home but its me waiting for my friends to come online #ALSO im starting to get sick of the silence a bit #i miss my lil sit on vc with friends but i dont rlly have friends like that rn #my best friend in the entire world has strict parentsss #WHY AM I STILL SPEAKING #....im gonna go write now bc im doing the thing AGAIN

maybe I should make a proper introduction post

#u guys know nothing about me.#like literally my name? Ig #it’s actually the most ominous I’ve ever been #im not gonna say everything but I feel like it’d make sense to say smth abt me lol

i cant be on my phone much today so ig we gonna be writing

#i forgot my charger #i need it to not die but its at like 12%#btw it has to last until like 10:30 pm #rip

one thing about me is I become more chill the more u know me

#like im still hyper #I’ve got that introverted shy type where I can’t speak to u unless I’ve known u for awhile #and then I ramble alot #but sometimes I don’t?#abd it’s not me trying to be rude but if I feel comfortable being quiet around you pls remember it’s GOOD #im sick of being around egeryone who wants me to fill the silence #idc if u fill that silence abd keep talking pls do I probably like ur voice but don’t get upset by my one liners :(#I have unlocked a new fear of people disliking my quieter self since im not always loud and passionate lol

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