I Am Not a Moron!

O-Oh, God you look terr-- I-I, um, good, you're looking good, actually. Are you okay? (( Indie RP/Ask blog for the uber-cutie Wheatley from Portal 2. Will RP with any fandom, canon or OC. Sideblog for punch-me-til-your-arm-weakens. Will play either full bot or android depending on situation and partner's preference. Live FC is Neil Grayston ))

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will you RP via ask?

Absolutely!

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OPEN || Humanoid!Wheatley

Wildlife in general seemed to have it out for the sheltered android. He hadn't even done anything to irritate the dog hot on his heels! All he'd been doing was walking, just walking, nothing offensive or intrusive! Then all of a sudden, bang, 70 pounds of furry death snarling and snapping at his heels!

"No, no shoo!" he screeched to absolutely no avail, bellowing warnings of the animal behind him as he careened about corners and down streets in a pointless attempt to escape the canine. 

[aperturemurder-deactivated20141]

Never let this die.

[vulcanchicks]

ASDKJF;OJAIS

GUYS

LOOK WHAT NQN MADE ME

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If anyone would like a starter or to plot, kindly like this post! :D I'll be tagging a load of followers here so you can see it. Please remember that this is a side blog, so I can't follow back with Wheatley. Instead, expect punch-me-til-your-arm-weakens.

Also, if you have a preference for core!Wheatley or android!Wheatley (the one played in the Synthetic Souls thread), please message me with such or it'll be luck of the draw.

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Synthetic Souls || alwaysworth-the-risk || Almost Human AU/Crossover

[alwaysworth-the-risk-blog]

Angie didn’t notice anything majorly wrong with him. The few little glitches here and there could probably be taken care of once they reached the station. Maybe Rudy could help fix him up before she took him up to Lestrade. She nodded in understanding, and glanced at him curiously. “Her?” She frowned, confused as she tried to speculate who ‘she’ might be. “Who is that?” Her brow furrowed slightly, growing a bit concerned. “Is everything alright? You seem a bit uneasy…”

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Wheatley's little huff of uneasiness extended a little further before he cleared his throat and ended it. She wasn't particularly a comfortable topic for him. Granted, she wasn't a particularly comfortable topic for anyone unless one was a turret or part of her personal favourite crew. Even then... "Uhh... Well, doesn't really matter now, does it?" he dodged. "Not actually there anymore, am I? Not much use paying attention to her when there's all these sme--eh, erm, perfectly fine smelling humans around, yeah? Be a bit pointless, waste of time and all that."

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x

I couldn't help myself.

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Synthetic Souls || alwaysworth-the-risk || Almost Human AU/Crossover

[alwaysworth-the-risk-blog]

Angie glanced at his neck as she noticed the sparks, and became concerned. If he had been underground, he may have had a rough time on his way here. She smiled at him, still listening while she subtly did a diagnostic scan of him. “I like to think of it that way, yes.” she smiled at his view of rare models. She tilted her head curiously, researching, and again coming to a dead end, about ‘cores’. “Oh? If you don’t mind my asking, what exactly is a ‘core’? A store of information about a specific subject?” Her face softened slightly when he said that some had died.

"I’m a bit surprised, too." she murmured. Even if it was a Black Market operation, the police would still know something about it, wouldn’t they? To be perfectly honest, the slogan didn’t really make sense to her, but she again didn’t ask, and just listened to him. "It certainly sounds interesting….Um, not that I know of, I don’t think." Yet another search that led to almost no information. She looked up for the nearest street sign, and calculated the remaining distance to the station. Only a few blocks now.

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The little core had been through hell, metaphorically speaking. He hadn't actually been in Android Hell, so that wasn't a problem. However, the trek and his escape ("vacation") had taken a major toll. Nothing compromising many of his systems' integrity as of yet, but sparks and little stabs of pain were to be expected now. They certainly didn't interfere with his speech. "Cores!" he exclaimed happily, "Cores are brilliant, and I'm not just saying that because I am one. Cores, cores, AIs in our own right, but for a time..." He laughed somewhat ashamedly at the memory and rubbed at a dirty sleeve. "Well, we were made to both run the facility if necessary and to, ehm... Well, to make her behave, her words, not mine. It's all sort of a blur," he dismissed with another nervous little wheeze.

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Down To Earth || marcus-a-anderson

[marcus-a-anderson-blog]

Marcus slammed the breaks as the machine started talking, and didn’t notice the car that almost slammed into his rear, nor did he hear the car horns and angry yelling coming from outside the car. 

He turned around in his car seat and looked at the machine with big eyes. “Uhm… Hello…” he said and smiled a little. “I’m doctor Marcus Anderson, you’re in a car in London, and I’m taking you home to fix you.” 

Marcus praised himself lucky he were customed talking to machines, and didn’t find it weird at all. He even found it more familiar than talking to other human beings. 

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As soon as the terrified core recognized another voice nearby, his exclamations died down to loud pants and gasps of unease. It didn't make him feel that much better. However, the other was a doctor, doctors were good for the most part.

"O̧k͜a̛y, ̵óh́,͘ oh,̕ o͜k̢ayok͏ay҉ok̀a̛y͞," he babbled. "I'̧m̡ I͏n͘acàrin̵ ͝L̢o̢n̛d҉o͝ń,̴ f̨u-̵f҉u̶nn͟y n̨ame͢,͏ but ͞a҉lrig̵h̡t͘,͜ ̴w̸ai̸t,͞ no, ͏n̵ónono̕,̴ ́waiţ, t̀h͢át'̕s ͝no̧t̴ ͏m͜--" A flurry of sparks shot from a hole where previously there was a chunk of metal. "O̴̸W̸!̢̧͠ ͟҉O͠͏̡o҉͡o͜oo͢͟͡o̷̡w! ̸͠O̷h̨͜͞ ̵͠m͡y̢̧͝ ̕G̕͜͜od ͠t͡͡h̨̀͜ì̷̢ś͡͡ i̕͟s͜͞͝ ̕͝m̶͟ad͢,̨ this̢ ͢i̸s̀ t҉ot͢a̡ll̢y͟ ͘m͏a̵d, wh͏at̸'s͠ ͞h̵a͡p̡p̷ȩn͘i̧n̴g̨?́ Wha̡t͘'s҉ happ͞en̶ed, where a͢ḿ I!̵? I̧'m͞ just a͜ ̷ti̧n̴y ͏l͏it͜tl̶e co̡re ͢Ì'̶m̡ no̴t͠ b̧ui̢l͜t f͘o͜r thi͝s! Owo͏wow, t͝his̸ ͞r̷e-̡rea͘l-r̡ea̡l-rea͞l-̸r̛eal-̷r͢éa͟l̛l̀y͞ ́hu̡rts!"

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Down To Earth || marcus-a-anderson

[marcus-a-anderson-blog]

Marcus gasped a little as he saw what was buried in the ground. Had this machine really fell from the sky? He smiled a little as he lifted up the biggest part, and gave out a sad sigh as he saw how broken it was. “Poor thing,” he said without any sign of sarcasm. He lay it down outside of the impact area and kept on digging for all the parts scattered around the crater. An hour later, he was fairly sure he’d picked up every part that could be saved. For the smallest parts, well, they could be replaced. 

He managed to get every part secured in his car so it wouldn’t get any more injuries on the way back home. As Marcus drove, he got a strange feeling. As if it was fate that had made sure that he found the machine. 

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Bit by bit, Wheatley's operational systems began to flick back online. All background programs, cooling, motors, et cetera. The last were those of his consciousness and perception.

Once those came online around an hour into the drive, Wheatley realized two things: he was moving at a rather alarming pace, and he was blind.

A groan was his first matter of communication, but in an instant it shifted to panicked wailing. "AH!̨ M͜A̕YD̡ĄY,̧ ̕M͢AY̸D͏AY!͢" he bellowed, dead optic swiveling about his sparking form with what little motion was allowed, metal clanging within his rotund little body. "I'͡M̛ ̧B̴LI̛ND͞, ̵O̵H͏,̧ ̴GOD,̛ ̡I͘'́M B́LÍND, S̢O̵ME̛ON͠E,́ H͠ELP̡!̨"

[portalgifs]

"OH NO! NONONONONO!"

[watermelongifs]

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Down To Earth || marcus-a-anderson

[marcus-a-anderson-blog]

It took Marcus a while to find the correct place, but luckily he was the first one there. He got out of his car with a wide grin and got his equipment out of the back seat, ready to dig into the warm ground. 

As he pushed the shovel down the hard ground, he hit something right away, and Marcus kneeled down to push the dirt away, glad his fire powers made it unlikely for him to get burned. 

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Unfortunately for the core, however, landing had not been as kind as originally anticipated. Granted, his fleeting thoughts while plummeting to Earth weren't planning on anything pleasant. One of his handles had snapped completely off, his once round shell warped and hanging off his form. Most major components were still mostly intact, but the shock of impact had shut him down for a while. Amongst the smoking glass lay little fragments of his own optic and bits of metal. Perhaps it was for the best that he was down.

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Synthetic Souls || alwaysworth-the-risk || Almost Human AU/Crossover

[alwaysworth-the-risk-blog]

Angie smiled at him, and carefully let go of his arm again. She laughed softly at his understanding, and nodded. “Well, I’m a…different model. A rather rare model, would probably be a better way of phrasing it.” She watched him curiously, smiling as she finally understood, herself, and nodded. “Ah, I see. So then you’re an android, too? I’m not entirely sure I’m familiar with which model you are? Or are you a newer one?” As a forethought, she doubted he was a newer one, unless he had gotten into a rather messy situation, with the state of his clothes like that.

She nodded again, smiling as she finally got a name. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Wheatley.” Her smile remained as he continued to talk, though once again, she was rather disturbed by the mention of human test subjects. She quickly searched for Aperture Laboratories, but there were no relevant results that she could see. “Um, no, I don’t believe I have heard of it. When you say ‘down below’, do you mean underground?”

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Without full knowledge of where he was really going, Wheatley turned about so he could still face the woman and started walking the same direction they were previously headed as an unnoticed spurt of sparks flew from his neck. "That's good," he assured, "rare models are good, very few of you in the world, more of a unique sort of individual and all that. I'm the only Wheatley core there is, actually, but there's other cores, um, let's see, there's... well, there's Adventure core, Space core, Fact core, Sports core... Loads of different cores, but they're... well, they're all corrupt, haven't seen them around for a while. Few of them died, actually. More than a few. Me? I'm the only one that still wanders around. Or I used to, but then I came here! To the surface! The surface is lovely, absolutely lovely, love the lovely surface!"

"Oh, yes, sorry, Aperture's underground. Surprised you haven't heard of it, sort of a big deal and all that. Forefront of science. "We do what we must because we can!"" he quoted, voice changing to the drawl of the founder for a moment before flipping back to his own. "Nice motto, don't you think? Yeah, we're the reason repulsion gel exists, propulsion gel, conversion gel, gravity funnels, all sorts of things. Domestic turrets, we made those, yep. Well, I didn't make those, the turret production line makes those, do those still sell up here? I dunno, it's been awhile since I've heard of interaction with you surface dwellers."

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+2 of Her

[idontfeelcorrupt]

Her optic narrowed at him.

"Oh, I haven’t had a fresh paint job. It’s the same as it was before. You know. When I got my body back from you and let you fly off into space…?”

"-What are you doing here in my facility?”

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Wheatley's optic narrowed in unison, but in more a show of fear and nervous withdrawal than aggression.

"Oh, right! Yes, I remember that, well you've held up very well." He nodded and slowly began wheeling backwards on his rail. "See, funny story, spent a while in space with the aptly named space core, just, you know, floating around, having a good time, and I thought to myself: 'I'll bet she gets lonely sometimes in that huge facility all by hersel--' well, you're not all by yourself, are you, you've still got the, um... the turrets. Oh, and you've got Chell, yes! And the robots, how are they doing? Um, do you think maybe I could, if it's not too much trouble, talk to Chell just for a bit?"

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watch?v=Di2wDDwxqHg Add this to the end of the YouTube URL.Wear headphones.

x

This is beautiful :D