Make My Day, Motherfucker

I've never been one to half-ass shenanigans Kellie she/her

[dorothylarouge]

[stellernorth]

i spent this year as a ghost and i’m not sure what i’m looking for / i spent this year as a ghost and i’m not sure where home is anymore - came out swinging by the wonder years

double-knit scarf

[cowboylexapro]

my peepaws are back together

[memorycycle]

dmv: can i have you birth certificate

me: i dont have it but you can trust! 😁✌️

dmv: ok! 😁✌️here is your license

me: its so small and cute! 😳

dmv: just like you! ☺️

[mantaradio]

can't get an algorithm like this on twitter

[coughloop]

JFK and Abe Lincoln were killed by the same bullet after it popped through Abe's chest it buonced off the railing and ricocheted around America for 80 beautiful years before lodging itself firmly in Kennedy's thick russet potato dip shit skull

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

old people will see a recliner and go i can't wait to fall asleep and look like i died in that later

[basketballhoopshowerhead]

whats the meaning of life? son, its those little tiny pumpkins. the ones that are mad small.  you know the ones i mean. 

[great-tweets]

We just knew.

[awed-frog]

As a reminder, this is what she looks like:

[yougetsomekisses]

[larkiethings]

Also I hope everyone knows that Miette was fostered before she was adopted, and her foster mom loved that little kitten so much and always hoped she'd gone to a good home. this tweet got so popular that she recognized Miette and reached out to her current mom, and was able to share previously unseen baby pictures

[darthmelyanna]

You mean, she saw Miette was kicked like the football and did nothing to help put Mother in jail for a thousand years? I am appalled.

[tigerses]

her!!!

[madeofstarsandfairylights]

Baby Miette!!!

[fadingpeacedogg]

[bigstupiduglyogre]

[clowngirlpony]

If pinkie pie were real she'd be such a huge brony I think her favorite pony would be pinkie pie

[archibaldtuttle]

Throwback to when I took painkillers and woke up with Photoshop open on my computer to this image I had made

[archibaldtuttle]

Hi this currently has 37 thousand notes and I just want to ask - why?

[desperate-acts-of-capitalism]

Big Things Are Coming

[blackteachangeling]

💷🥄🥔 BIG THINGS ARE COMING🥔🥄💷

✨ Abundance Spell✨ 

Wealth, weal, and plentiful spoons are coming to me 👏

✨💰🪙🥄🥔💰🌟💰🥄🥔🪙 💰✨

Like to charge Reblog to cast

[ediblewishez]

this is garbitch. apsolute bullchit

[martha-dobie]

people who are going to tourdust you guys have an important legacy to live up to

[andoutofharm]

we were the kids who screamed “we weren’t the same”

[theblackparadeisdead]

Fall Out Boy dropped a single that fucked so hard Panic at the Disco decided to shrivel up and die about it. Pete Wentz giveth and Pete Wentz taketh away, so on and so forth forever and amen

[radiofreederry]

[sjweminem]

she sauce on my scrod till i'm a New Man

[plesiosaurchestra]

EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER

[yesterdaysprint]

Chicago Tribune, Illinois, November 19, 1920