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Girl, I don’t know who you are but I know I need a bear-sized hug from you.
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Girl, I don’t know who you are but I know I need a bear-sized hug from you.
Подстава
this is not a helpful translation, google.
oh
Now this is a Russian culture lesson
An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.
It isn’t uncommon for this particular demon to be summoned—from exhausting Halloween party pranks in abandoned barns to more legitimate (more exhausting) ceremonies in forests—but it has to admit, this is the first time it’s been called forth from its realm into a claustrophobic living room bathed in the dull orange-pink glow of old glass lamps and a multitude of wide-eyed, creepy antique porcelain dolls that could give Chucky a run for his money with all of their silent, seething stares combined. Accompanying those oddities are tea cup and saucer sets on shelves atop frilly doilies crocheted with the utmost care, and cross-stitched, colorful ‘Home Sweet Home’s hung across the wood-paneled walls.
It’s a mistake—a wrong number, per se. No witch it’s ever known has lived in such an, ah, dated, home. Furthermore, no practitioner that ever summoned it has been absent, as if they’d up and ding-dong ditched it. No, it didn’t work that way. Not at all. Not if they want to survive the encounter.
It hears the clinking of movement in the room adjacent—the kitchen, going by the pungent, bitter scent of cooled coffee and soggy, sweet sponge cakes, but more jarring is the smell of blood. It moves—feels something slip beneath its clawed foot as it does, and sees a crocheted blanket of whites and greys and deep black yarn, wound intricately, perfectly, into a summoning circle. Its summoning circle. There is a small splash of bright scarlet and sharp, jagged bits of a broken curio scattered on top, as if someone had dropped it, attempted to pick it up the pieces and pricked their finger. It would explain the blood. And it would explain the demon being brought into this strange place.
As it connects these pieces in its mind, the inhabitant of the house rounds the corner and exits the kitchen, holding a damp, white dish towel close to her hand and fumbling with the beaded bifocals hanging from her neck by a crocheted lanyard before stopping dead in her tracks.
Now, to be fair, the demon wouldn’t ordinarily second guess being face-to-face with a hunchbacked crone with a beaked nose, beady eyes and a peculiar lack of teeth, or a spidery shawl and ankle-length black dress, but there is definitely something amiss here. Especially when the old biddy lets her spectacles fall slack on her bosom and erupts into a wide, toothy (toothless) grin, eyes squinting and crinkling from the sheer effort of it.
“Todd! Todd, dear, I didn’t know you were visiting this year! You didn’t call, you didn’t write—but, oh, I’m so happy you’re here, dear! Would it have been too much to ask you to ring the doorbell? I almost had a heart attack. And don’t worry about the blood, here—I had an accident. My favorite figure toppled off of the table and cleanup didn’t go as expected. But I seem to recall you are quite into the bloodshed and ‘edgy’ stuff these days, so I don’t suppose you mind.” She releases a hearty, kind laugh, but it isn’t mocking, it’s sweet. Grandmotherly. The demon is by no means sentimental or maudlin, but the kindness, the familiarity, the genuine fondness, does pull a few dusty old nostalgic heartstrings. “Imagine if it leaves a scar! It’d be a bit ‘badass,’ as you teenagers say, wouldn’t it?”
She is as blind as a bat without her glasses, it would appear, because the demon is by no means a ‘Todd’ or a human at all, though humanoid, shrouded in sleek, black skin and hard spikes and sharp claws. But the demon humors her, if only because it had been caught off guard.
The old woman smiles still, before turning on her heel and shuffling into the hallway with a stiff gait revealing a poor hip. “Be a dear and make some more coffee, would you please? I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
Yes, this is most definitely a mistake. One for the record books, for certain. For late-night trips to bars and conversations with colleagues, while others discuss how many souls they’d swindled in exchange for peanuts, or how many first-borns they’d been pledged for things idiot humans could have gained without divine intervention. Ugh. Sometimes it all just became so pedantic that little detours like this were a blessing—happy accidents, as the humans would say.
That’s why the demon does as asked, and plods slowly into the kitchen, careful to duck low and avoid the top of the doorframe. That’s why it gingerly takes the small glass pot and empties it of old, stale coffee and carefully, so carefully, takes a measuring scoop between its claws and fills the machine with fresh grounds. It’s as the hot water is percolating that the old woman returns, her index finger wrapped tight in a series of beige bandages.
“I’m surprised you’re so tall, Todd! I haven’t seen you since you were at my hip! But your mother mails photos all the time—you do love wearing all black, don’t you?” She takes a seat at the small round table in the corner and taps the glass lid of the cake plate with quaking, unsteady, aged hands. “I was starting to think you’d never visit. Your father and I have had our disagreements, but…I am glad you’re here, dear. Would you like some cake?” Before the demon has a chance to decline, she lifts the lid and cuts a generous slice from the near-complete circle that has scarcely been touched. It smells of citrus and cream and is, as assumed earlier, soggy, oversaturated with icing.
It was made for a special occasion, for guests, but it doesn’t seem this old woman receives much company in this musty, stagnant house that smells like an antique garage that hadn’t had its dust stirred in years.
Especially not from her absentee grandson, Todd.
The demon waits until the coffee pot is full, and takes two small mugs from the counter, filling them until steam is frothing over the rims. Then, and only then, does it accept the cake and sit, with some difficulty, in a small chair at the small table. It warbles out a polite ‘thank you,’ but it doesn’t suppose the woman understands. Manners are manners regardless.
“Oh, dear, I can hardly understand. Your voice has gotten so deep, just like your grandfather’s was. That, and I do recall you have an affinity for that gravelly, screaming music. Did your voice get strained? It’s alright, dear, I’ll do the talking. You just rest up. The coffee will help soothe.”
The demon merely nods—some communication can be understood without fail—and drinks the coffee and eats the cake with a too-small fork. It’s ordinary, mushy, but delicious because of the intent behind it and the love that must have gone into its creation.
“I hope you enjoyed all of the presents I sent you. You never write back—but I am aware most people use that fancy E-mail these days. I just can’t wrap my head around it. I do wish your mom and dad would visit sometime. I know of a wonderful little café down the street we can go to. I haven’t been; I wanted to visit it with Charles, before he…well.” She falls silent in her rambling, staring into her coffee with a small, melancholy smile. “I can’t believe it’s been ten years. You never had the chance to meet him. But never mind that.” Suddenly, and with surprising speed that has the demon concerned for her well being, she moves to her feet, bracing her hands on the edge of the table. “I may as well give you your birthday present, since you’re here. What timing! I only finished it this morning. I’ll be right back.”
When she returns, the white, grey and black crocheted work with the summoning circle is bundled in her arms.
“I found these designs in an occult book I borrowed from the library. I thought you’d like them on a nice, warm blanket to fight off the winter chill—I hope you do like it.” With gentle hands, she spreads the blanket over the demon’s broad, spiky back like a shawl, smoothing it over craggy shoulders and patting its arms affectionately. “Happy birthday, Todd, dear.”
Well, that settles it. Whoever, wherever, Todd is, he’s clearly missing out. The demon will just have to be her grandson from now on.
this is so sweet. it made me want to hug someone.
i had to
I WOULD WATCH SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE
Okay but she takes him to the little cafe and all of the people in her town are like “What is that thing, what the hell, Anette?” and she’s like “Don’t you remember my grandson Todd?” and the entire town just has to play along because no one will tell little old Nettie that her grandson is an actual demon because this is the happiest she’s been since her husband died.
Bonus: In season 4 she makes him run for mayor and he wins
I just want to watch ‘Todd’ help her with groceries, and help her with cooking, and help her clean up the dust around the house and air it out, and fill it with spring flowers because Anette mentioned she loved hyacinth and daffodils. Over the seasons her eyesight worsens, so ‘Todd’ brings a hellhound into the house to act as her seeing eye dog, and people in town are kinda terrified of this massive black brute with fur that drips like thick oil, and a mouth that can open all the way back to its chest, but ‘Honey’ likes her hard candies, and doesn’t get oil on the carpet, and when ‘Todd’ has to go back to Hell for errands, Honey will snuggle up to Anette and rest his giant head on her lap, and whuff at her pockets for butterscotch. Anette never gives ‘Todd’ her soul, but she gives him her heart
In season six, Anette gets sick. She spends most of the season bedridden and it becomes obvious by about midway through the season that she’s not going to make it to the end of the season. Todd spends the season travelling back and forth between the human realm and his home plane, trying hard to find something, anything that will help Anette get better, to prolong her life. He’s tried getting her to sell him her soul, but she’s just laughed, told him that he shouldn’t talk like that. With only a few episodes left in the season Anette passes away, Todd is by her side. When the reaper comes for her Todd asks about the fate of her soul. In a dispassionate voice the reaper informs Todd that Anette spent the last few years of her life cavorting with creatures of darkness, that there can be only one fate for her. Todd refuses to accept this and he fights the reaper, eventually injuring the creature and driving it off. Knowing that Anette cannot stay in the Human Realm, and refusing to allow her spirit to be taken by another reaper, so he takes her soul in his arms. He’s done this before, when mortals have sold themselves to him. This time the soul cradled against his chest does not snuggle and fight. This time the soul held tight against him reaches out, pats him on the cheek tells him he was a good boy, and so handsome, just like his grandfather. Todd takes Anette back to the demon realm, holding her tight against him as he travels across the bleak and forebidding landscape; such a sharp contrast to the rosy warmth of Anette’s home. Eventually, in a far corner of his home plane, Todd finds what he is looking for. It is a place where other demons do not tread; a large boulder cracked and broken, with a gap just barely large enough for Todd to fit through. This crack, of all things, gives him pause, but Anette’s soul makes a comment about needing to get home in time to feed Honey, and Todd forces himself to pass through it. He travels in darkness for a while, before he emerges into into a light so bright that it’s blinding. His eyes adjust slowly, and he finds himself face to face with two creatures, each of them at least twice his size one of them has six wings and the head of a lion, one of them is an amorphous creature within several rings. The lion-headed one snarls at Todd, and demands that he turn back, that he has no business here. Todd looks down, holding Anette’s soul against his chest, he takes a deep breath, and speaks a single word, “Please.” The two larger beings are taken aback by this. They are too used to Todd’s kind being belligerent, they consult with each other, they argue. The amorphous one seems to want to be lenient, the lion-headed one insists on being stricter. While they’re arguing Todd sneaks by them and runs as fast as he can, deeper into the brightly lit expanse. The path on which he travels begins to slope upwards, and eventually becomes a staircase. It becomes evident that each step further up the stair is more and more difficult for Todd, that it’s physically paining him to climb these stairs, but he keeps going.
They dedicate a full episode to this climb; interspersing the climb with scenes they weren’t able to show in previous seasons, Anette and Honey coming to visit Todd in the Mayor’s office, Anette and Todd playing bingo together for the first time, Anette and Todd watching their stories together in the mid afternoon, Anette falling asleep in her chair and Todd gently carrying her to bed. Anette making Todd lemonade in the summer while he’s up on the roof fixing that leak and cleaning out the rain gutters. Eventually Todd reaches the top, and all but collapses, he falls to a knee and for the first time his grip on Anette’s soul slips, and she falls away from him. Landing on the ground. He reaches out for her, but someone gets there first. Another hand reaches out, and helps this elderly woman off the ground, helps her get to her feet. Anette gasps, it’s Charles. The pair of them throw their arms around each other. Anette tells Charles that she’s missed him so much, and she has so much to tell him. Charles nods. Todd watches a soft smile on his face. A delicate hand touches Todd’s shoulder, and pulls him easily to his feet. A figure; we never see exactly what it looks like, leans down, whispering in Todd’s ear that he’s done well, and that Anette will be well taken care of here. That she will spend an eternity with her loved ones. Todd looks back over to her, she’s surrounded by a sea of people. Todd nods, and smiles. The figure behind him tells him that while he has done good in bringing Anette here, this is not his place, and he must leave. Todd nods, he knew this would be the case. Todd gets about six steps down the stairway before he is stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder again. He turns around, and Anette is standing behind him. She gives him a big hug and leads him back up the stairs, he should stay, she says. Get to know the family. Todd tries to tell her that he can’t stay, but she won’t hear it. She leads him up into the crowd of people and begins introducing him to long dead relatives of hers, all of whom give him skeptical looks when she introduces him as her grandson. The mysterious figure appears next to Todd again and tells him once more he must leave, Todd opens his mouth to answer but Anette cuts him off. Nonsense, she tells the figure. IF she’s gonna stay here forever her grandson will be welcome to visit her. She and the figure stare at each other for a moment. The figure eventually sighs and looks away, the figure asks Todd if she’s always like this. Todd just shrugs and smiles, allowing Anette to lead him through a pair of pearly gates, she’s already talking about how much cake they’ll need to feed all of these relatives.
P.S. Honey is a Good Dog and gets to go, too.
the last lines of the show:
demon: you’re not blind here – but you’re not surprised. when…?
anette: oh, toddy, don’t be silly, my biological grandson’s not twelve feet tall and doesn’t scorch the furniture when he sneezes. i’ve known for ages.
demon: then why?
anette: you wouldn’t have stayed if you weren’t lonely too.
demon: you… you don’t have to keep calling me your grandson.
anette: nonsense! adopted children are just as real. now quit sniffling, you silly boy, and let’s go bake a cake. honey, heel!
honey: W̝̽̂̿͂͝Ọ̮̹̲̪̋ͦͅO̸̘͔̬͊F̜̫͙̟͕͖̙̋ͫ͌͗
that addition is a+ :)
THE ONLY ENDING I WILL EVER ACCEPT FOR THIS
Every time this post shows up on my dash, it gets better (and more heart wrenching. Y’all! Stop cutting the onions okay?!).
If ever don’t reblogging this, I’m either dead, dying, or buried under cat.
and they say black cats don’t photograph well!
thank u for this addition. this kitty is perfect and i love them
Here's a Photoshop idea: a bakery but all the bread is foxes. Love you and your blog. 👍❤️
I want this as the backsplash in my kitchen
I do not want to eat a fox.
I put all of my dumb art from today in one post. The dishes can probably wait another day, I guess.
@toverijenspokerij Here she is! XD
IMG I need this so very badly. Every day.
gays, lend me your strength
I shall give you my soul, and you will be the most powerful gay to ever gay.
thank you so much.
lesbians, lend me your strength
I give you my heart, so you can have the power of all the lesbians and be even more gay than before
I am forever in your debt.
aces, lend me your strength
I give you my essence, so that why you possess the power of gay as well as having not just one, but many aces of power up your sleeve.
I owe you my life.
transgender and nonbinary folks, lend me your strength
i give you my tiddies because i dont fuckign want them
News Anchor in my area loses it over a Fat Cat that likes to swim.
I don’t know what’s funnier, how she said physical activities or the snort.
I love how she gradually loses it. She gives it her best try and then you can just hear where her composure starts breaking down.
i always lose it when her voice trips into the fifth dimension as she says physical activities
This made my day so much fucking better
my friend told me to watch this cooking video while listening to sad music. so i mixed a little something for you all
Jesus CHRIST
This is an important message.
One of those mandatory reblog. Because, Leslie Jones. Enuf said
gay books that aren’t Gay Books, an elaboration
i made a post like this about six months ago but i’ve realised a) that as a wlw, there are literally No books about wlw on there, and b) ive read loads more books that are Fab and deserve a place on there
so to fit on this list, there are only 2 conditions
there must be lgbt+ characters in the book
said characters’ entire plotline must not revolve around them being lgbt+. this can be referenced, but they have to have wider development. eg: trc is acceptable as even though ronan goes through a process of accepting he’s gay, his arc is also involving accepting other (spoilery) things about himself
feel free to add your own as i’ve not read nearly enough fiction about wlw, as long as it’s not just to do with being lgbt as this is a list for people who want to see themselves in fantasy, crime, mystery, adventure, school novels specifically without having All the focus on being lgbt+.
OKAY ONTO THE LIST
carry on by rainbow rowell. this is the first book i ever really read where the sexuality of the characters wasn’t the most important thing about them. it isn’t for everyone (read: blatant harry potter references) but i did and still adore it. mlm relationship, queer & gay. 5 stars.
the raven cycle by maggie steifvater. the representation is nowhere near as good as some of the others on this list but it’s this high up because of the writing and the characters. mlm relationship, gay & bi. 5 stars.
the foxhole court by nora sakavic. again, not astronomical rep, but the plot and characters make up for it. mlm x2 relationships, one main. 5 stars.
six of crows by leigh bardugo. fantastic cast of characters. mlm relationship, gay & bi, and bi female character. 5 stars.
a darker shade of magic by ve schwab. beautiful worldbuilding. mlm relationship (both bi i think?) which is also own voices. 5 stars.
vicious by ve schwab. fantastic dark plot. ace main character, kind of adheres to the “ace characters are heartless” on which way you look but i think basically everyone’s a little bitch in the book so. 5 stars.
they both die at the end by adam silvera. so sad but it’s not Bury Your Gays as such since that’s the entire preface of the book. mlm relationship, gay & bi. own voices! 5 stars.
a gentleman’s guide to vice and virtue by mackenzi lee. mlm relationship. 4 stars.
radio silence by alice oseman. gave me an existential crisis. wlw and mlm solidarity, bi female mc, gay m and gay f, gay demi m. 4 stars.
i want to put more than this by patrick ness on here (4 stars) because he’s a fantastic ov rep and i love him and this is his most non-Gaytm book, but if you do want a book about being gay in the deep south then def read release and im breaking my own rule here but it’s amazing 5 stars.
ink and bone by rachel caine has a couple that remind me of holt and kevin from brooklyn nine nine (just much sadder.) worth reading just for the concept. mlm minor relationship. 4 stars.
again, i feel like you could squeak the song of achilles by madeline miller on here by the skin of its teeth. dont read this if you dont want sadness. 4 stars.
daughter of the burning city by amanda foody is a fantastic spooky book and so original. bi mc and aspec love interest. 3.5 stars.
ash by malinda lo. cinderella retelling. i didn’t personally like this one too much but it’s a cute wlw relationship. 3 stars.
history is all you left me by adam silvera. i very much didn’t like this one for personal reasons but i know a lot of people love it. mlm rep with a bi character (watch out bc the mc is slightly biphobic.) 2 stars.
i haven’t read adaptation by malinda lo yet but my friend loved it. it has a bi mc with a bi love triangle.
likewise i haven’t read of fire and stars by audrey coulthurst but my friend LOVED it with a passion. wlw relationship.
PLEASE ADD MORE THAT YOUVE READ
Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire. A fantasy novella with a few other genres mixed in and some spookiness, asexual main character and trans major supporting character. 4/5
The Posterchildren by Kitty Burroughs. Superhero high school, but done in a really realistic way for the genre. Coming of age, lots of puns. Literally one character is cishet, even if supporting characters don’t bring it up yet. Main cast has bi, lesbian, poly, pan, and grayscale characters 5/5
The Timely Tales are short stories in the same universe, even more rep there, including trans characters (men, women, and nonbinary). The stories are mostly about a dollar a pop, so if you use the first book as a starting point, good cheap reads, some almost novella length. Rating varies depending on story, 4/5ish
The God Eaters by Jesse Hajicek. Non-YA example. Romance-fantasy-prison break-western? What even is genre. It gets weird. I loved this one and it needs more love. It’s free online on the author’s fanfiction.net and/or wordpress last I checked. 5/5
Timekeeper by Tara Sim. Steampunk story about a boy falling in love with a magic clock. Set to have sequels. 3.5/5
As I Descended by Robin Talley. This is literally wlw Southern Gothic Macbeth so people are gonna die. Not everyone dies, but a lot of people do. There is a lot of stuff with being closeted/hiding a relationship, but it follows really closely with Macbeth’s themes of manipulation, corruption, and morality, so it has other stuff going on. Bi girl, lesbian, and two gay male mains. I’m biased on this one because it’s based on a tragedy and I’m not a fan of tragedies 3/5
A Hero at the End of the World by Erin Claiborne. Imagine if the Harry Potter series ended with Ron being the big hero instead of Harry and Harry fell into a quarter life crisis and resented Ron for it and accidentally joined an evil cult. Also if neither of them were white and Harry was gay. 3.5/5
I never get tired of this video. His little legs galloping… gah, so cute!
Have you seen this cuteness?
Mini-Comic: Flower Shop
A little story set in an alternate universe about how one man asked out a kind florist…
This mini-comic was made possible with the support of my Patreon patrons! Join our little Heartstopper gang on Patreon to gain access to exclusive artwork, bonus content, early pages, and more! www.patreon.com/aliceoseman
read from the beginning / read on tapas / my art blog / my personal blog(come talk to me!) / my art shop / read the next update early on Patreon!
Charlie, a highly-strung, openly gay over-thinker, and Nick, a cheerful, soft-hearted rugby player, meet at a British all-boys grammar school. Friendship blooms quickly, but could there be something more…?
Nick and Charlie are characters from my debut novel, Solitaire. Heartstopper updates three times a month, on the 1st, 11th, and 21st.
i really appreciate reblogs and shares - please help me spread word about this comic! i’m so excited for people to read it!
notes:
Keep reading
So the other night during D&D, I had the sudden thoughts that:
1) Binary files are 1s and 0s
2) Knitting has knit stitches and purl stitches
You could represent binary data in knitting, as a pattern of knits and purls…
You can knit Doom.
However, after crunching some more numbers:
The compressed Doom installer binary is 2.93 MB. Assuming you are using sock weight yarn, with 7 stitches per inch, results in knitted doom being…
3322 square feet
Factoring it out…302 people, each knitting a relatively reasonable 11 square feet, could knit Doom.
Hi fun fact!!
The idea of a “binary code” was originally developed in the textile industry in pretty much this exact form. Remember punch cards? Probably not! They were a precursor to the floppy disc, and were used to store information in the same sort of binary code that we still use:
Here’s Mary Jackson (c.late 1950s) at a computer. If you look closely in the yellow box, you’ll see a stack of blank punch cards that she will use to store her calculations.
This is what a card might look like once punched. Note that the written numbers on the card are for human reference, and not understood by the computer.
But what does it have to do with textiles? Almost exactly what OP suggested. Now even though machine knitting is old as balls, I feel that there are few people outside of the industry or craft communities who have ever seen a knitting machine.
Here’s a flatbed knitting machine (as opposed to a round or tube machine), which honestly looks pretty damn similar to the ones that were first invented in the sixteenth century, and here’s a nice little diagram explaining how it works:
But what if you don’t just want a plain stocking stitch sweater? What if you want a multi-color design, or lace, or the like? You can quite easily add in another color and integrate it into your design, but for, say, a consistent intarsia (two-color repeating pattern), human error is too likely. Plus, it takes too long for a knitter in an industrial setting. This is where the binary comes in!
Here’s an intarsia swatch I made in my knitwear class last year. As you can see, the front of the swatch is the inverse of the back. When knitting this, I put a punch card in the reader,
and as you can see, the holes (or 0′s) told the machine not to knit the ground color (1′s) and the machine was set up in such a way that the second color would come through when the first color was told not to knit.
tl;dr the textiles industry is more important than people give it credit for, and I would suggest using a machine if you were going to try to knit almost 3 megabytes of information.
@we-are-threadmage
Someone port Doom to a blanket
I really love tumblr for this 🙌
It goes beyond this. Every computer out there has memory. The kind of memory you might call RAM. The earliest kind of memory was magnetic core memory. It looked like this:
Wires going through magnets. This is how all of the important early digital computers stored information temporarily. Each magnetic core could store a single bit - a 0 or a 1. Here’s a picture of a variation of this, called rope core memory, from one NASA’s Apollo guidance computers:
You may think this looks incredibly handmade, and that’s because it is. But these are also extreme close-ups. Here’s the scale of the individual cores:
The only people who had the skills necessary to thread all of these cores precisely enough were textile and garment workers. Little old ladies would literally thread the wires by hand.
And thanks to them, we were able to land on the moon. This is also why memory in early computers was so expensive. It had to be hand-crafted, and took a lot of time.
Spock in fic: Jim makes me feel feelings. What could this mean???? Me: It means you’re in love with him, you fucking pistachio.
Bones, is that you?