I have gotten a ton of transphobic abuse on this account, and I think the thing that helped me realize how not to be hurt by them was to realize they will never know me, so why do they matter in my life?
They don't know my name, my favourite video game, my pets, my new budding interests, my hopes and fears, my goals, or anything that matters. All they see is my transness, and if that's what sets them off in a fury of abusive words... why do they matter? If something as inconsequential as my gender will revert them to school insults, then it is obvious that they shouldn't factor into my mental health.
It took a long time to realize I have worth outside of people's opinions about me. I grew up being punished for not pleasing others, so it was jarring and scary to be disliked for who I am. But I realize that I can't continually repress everything about me. I have done it all my life, and it hasn't served me whatsoever. It never will. It never has.
If anybody is in the rut I've been in, just know it gets better. They don't know shit about you, least of all anything that makes you beautiful. They can't even look at your transness, as beautiful as it is, and go beyond that. We will outlive them; you will be loved.