Life's A Film Noir

cami ✌🏻 Likes getting litty, skitty, and tiddies

[jmoonjones]

Iykyk

[seizeourdestiny]

Needle felted Phaedra (4th colossus) from Shadow of the Colossus.

At around 27 inches tall and about 22 inches long, it is easily the largest project I've made so far.

[hellenhighwater]

Gonna get myself a fun little surprise I guess

[hellenhighwater]

This is better than I'd ever hoped for, I bet a rat could kill you with that thing by firing a laser back in time and electrocuting your grandfather

Just look at this thing

[hellenhighwater]

The rat gun is hereeeeee!

[hellenhighwater]

This is getting notes again so I will admit that "rat gun" was an autocorrect error and it was supposed to be "ray gun."

But it'll always be a rat gun to me.

[hellenhighwater]

The most expensive thing in these pictures was the cat, and he was $60.

[hellenhighwater]

I'll be honest--I forgot that the pump organ desk/bar was visible in the background, and it was NOT under $60.

It was actually $75.

The chairs, however, were paid for in human life. I inherited them; they were originally my great grandmother's. But they're not particularly rare-- you can find these exact chairs without a lot of effort, in reasonable shape, for not that much money. They made a lot of them.

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

your gazelle has a pearl choker

[hellenhighwater]

That's Hadrian. He's a bush buck and he loves fashion.

[hellenhighwater]

Hi you asked this question and I immediately went to the pottery studio to make a calcifer to put in my woodstove.

Will update if he survives the kiln.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

i am still on tenterhooks vis a vis calcifer 🥺🥺🥺

[hellenhighwater]

I just brought him home from the pottery studio and wired him for light. He lives!!!!!

[thebisexualwreckoning]

OP just wondering do you like have the closet to Narnia tucked in there somewhere?

[hellenhighwater]

Dude, c'mon, these things take time.

Give me a couple hours.

[hellenhighwater]

Okay!! We have doordrobe! It's not quite done but after nearly turning myself into an hellpancake while carrying this in from the garage to the house, I feel like I should call it a night.

Right now it's not going into a secret room (but the Angel of Death (And WiFi) behind it does have a secret compartment for my router? Does that count) but Malice and Vice are still exploring it like it's a whole new world.

The House of Horrors continues to be...well, exactly what it is.

[hellenhighwater]

Oh, no, all radioactive materials go in The Box.

[copp3rtop]

please explain. Do you actually have a lead lined box for radioactive objects, or are you just talking about the router behind the painting?

[hellenhighwater]

The Box.

[hellenhighwater]

Not people's teeth, no.

[chaoticgremlinmakingart]

Holy shit. This just keeps getting better and better. Absolutely marvelous house. What other treasures do you have in that house?

[hellenhighwater]

I recently got some very silly dishes and a telescope!

[hellenhighwater]

All of these accusations of witchcraft! As if the vibe in this house could be any more clearly Artificer.

[hellenhighwater]

Someone made a YouTube short of like...half this post. So if you're looking for it, here it is. And here's some recent lighting updates to the living room! Lantern, ghost radio, and the celestial clock.

[asingularcanadian]

he's just like me forreal

[evilkakyoin]

just gonna start killing people i dont find funny

[cthuluguu]

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

[evilkakyoin]

shut the fuck up

[cipheramnesia]

People will talk about Tumblr's amazing hatemail game but its person to person reply game is equally unhinged.

[lakesbian]

saddest thing that can happen is a cat so delicately and cozy putting their small apple head on your leg like a pillow to sleep while fully unaware that in like five minutes you're going to get up to go eat because they don't know human language or how time works

[sandersstudies]

Me, having been immobile for three hours: hmm I should get up and pee

The world’s tiniest angel: time for snomgol my mommi :)

[gaybuttfuckzone]

[anarchohannibalism]

this video sends me every time. the lip syncing. the source material. iconic

[runby2]

I reblogged this one time and someone else who reblogged it from me tagged it with #violence

[hillerska-official]

Oh btw I'm reading another star trek novel and chapter 1 just opens like this

[tothechaos]

i bet being a fish whips ass. smooth and wet as fuck. well except for the bears

[tothechaos]

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO SAVE AS A DRAFT.

[tf2heritageposts]

it is frankly insane how impossible it is to untangle tf2 with 2010s internet culture. like it's on the scale if not higher than mlp with how much it affected the internet at large

[pangur-and-grim]

she cries if I dont hold her, so I have to use my exercise bike like this

[pangur-and-grim]

[pangur-and-grim]

[k-holed]

Hm I see. I kind of need to hold these or I’ll die.

[airbenderedacted]

[gross-giirl]

[jaded-stag]

I keep seeing people making fun of using growled, hissed, roared, snarled etc in writing and it’s like.

have you never heard someone speak with the gravel in their voice when they get angry? Because that’s what a growl is.

Have you never heard someone sharply whisper something through the thin space of their teeth? Or when your mother sharply told you to stop it in public as a kid when you were acting up/being too loud? Because that’s what a hiss is.

Have you never heard a man get so blackout angry that their voice BOOMS through the house? Because that’s what a roar is.

Have you never seen someone bare their teeth while talking to accentuate their frustration or anger while speaking with a vicious tone? Because that’s what snarling is.

It’s not meant to be a literal animal noise. For the love of god, not every description is literal. I get some people are genuinely confused, but also some of these people are genuinely unimaginative as fuck.

[therobinvista-deactivated202402]

[littlebeetlebro]

me: *sobbing in the woods*

The eldritch horror that’s been watching me from behind a tree: ….Red Lobster’s hiring.

me: *turns around* oh shit fr?

[catmask]

i love when pets huff or sigh dramatically. like i am sorry. you're so right. you live such a laborious life. it must be so difficult to take naps and get pet and fed treats and played with all day. really a packed schedule youve got there boss. how do you manage it all. well no matter i'd say it's time for your well earned 7th afternoon nap

[lokidokeyartichoki]

“phones are disrupting natural sleep cycles” I mean true but also bold of you to assume I had one before the tech boom lol catch me out here reading chapter books by the light of my light up pens in the third grade

[headspace-hotel]

catch me lying awake for hours in darkness every night since i was 9