Kicking in Doors and Causing Trouble

My life and the things in it that I love and occasionally hate

[thenightling]

For people who want to start reading Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman

I only got into Sandman last June.  I wish I had read it sooner but no one really described it well to me so I went in almost completely unawares.

The main character in Sandman is Morpheus AKA Dream of The Endless.   He is the living embodiment of dreams.  His usual appearance (as his form changes depending on who is looking upon him) has peculiar, bone-white, skin and completely-black eyes with tiny star-like pupils that flare when he’s using his powers.  He has wild black hair and is extremely thin.   

 His minion are entities of Dreams and Nightmares.  He seems to have a fondness for Halloween aesthetics from Jack-o-lanterns and Gothic castles to spooky old houses (like The House of Secrets and The House of Mystery), and ravens.   

Morpheus AKA Dream of The Endless is of a family of beings known as… well… The Endless.

The Endless are a family of anthropomorphic personifications.  That means they are living embodiments of certain concepts.  For example Morpheus / Dream’s older sister is Death.  She’s essentially the Grim Reaper.  

The family consists of Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction, Desire, Despair, and little Delirium (She used to be Delight but she went mad).  

Most of Sandman is the story of Morpheus and what happens to him.   The place to begin is Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes.  

  In this story Morpheus gets summoned and captured by early twentieth century occultists who had been trying to capture Death but got him by mistake.  He is kept locked in a windowless cellar in a glass cage for nearly a century. 

 When he finally escapes he gets his revenge on the son of his original captor and then seeks out his tools that were taken from him when he was captured.  These tools include his pouch of dream sand (he is the Sandman after all), his helm (a battle helmet, though he rarely if ever goes into battle, made from a skull and spine of Old Gods and resembles a gas mask), and his rubly dreamstone amulet, a conduit for his power (like a wizard’s wand).  

The first storyline is Morpheus reclaiming these lost artifacts.   At one point this leads him to Hell where he faces a demon who has gotten a hold of his helm.  The demon challenges him to a game of wits, creativity, and imagination as opposed to physical combat. 

Morpheus used to be something of an asshole but he undergoes considerable character growth through the course of the series and becomes more and more compassionate.

Often he finds himself simply trying to set right the wrongs of his own past.  For example Sandman: Season of Mists starts with Morpheus reluctantly (he’s very afraid) going back to Hell to rescue a soul he wrongfully left there centuries before only to find that Lucifer is quitting (basis for the plot of the Fox / Netflix TV series). 

 Lucifer leaves Morpheus the key to Hell and and now Morpheus must figure out what to do with it while The Dreaming (his realm) is bombarded with deities and beings of folklore who all want the key to Hell for themselves since it’s “Prime psychic real estate.”

The Sandman is strange.  It’s surreal and it’s beautiful.  Each volume of Sandman is drawn in a different art style.  There’s very little combat-style action or explosions though there is occasional horror and gore.  It’s more like a work of pure literature than any traditional idea of a comic book.     

The order Sandman should be read in is as follows:

1. The Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes 2. The Sandman: The Doll’s House 3. The Sandman: Dream Country  4. The Sandman: Season of Mists 5. The Sandman: A Game of You 6. The Sandman: Fables and Reflections 7. The Sandman: Brief Lives 8. The Sandman: The Worlds’ End 9. The Sandman: The Kindly Ones 10. The Sandman: The Wake The Sandman: Dream Hunters The Sandman Endless Nights The Sandman Overture (a very beautiful prequel)

The Sandman can also be read in the Omnibus form (three volumes) or in the “Absolute editions” (There are six in all).  The Absolute editions are better than the omnibuses and physically easier to read (larger print) but they are more expensive.    

 mrs-bees-for-eyes  This is for you.

[neil-gaiman]

This may be useful for some of you, I hope…

[catsandviolence]

Dream Hunters is literally the moment I fell in love with the idea of telling a complex story with a combination of words and art. After that, I could never go back to believing that picture books or comics are only meant for kids

[vampyrelle]

Hey y’all I’m super close to 3k, so I’m doing a giveaway! ✨

Prize #1: Fully Rendered portrait, with or without complex background/lighting Prize #2: Full body drawing of your character of choice in their preferred underthings (oh la la) and an outfit/armor (optionally designed by me)

Rules:

Must be following me (duh)

Both likes and reblogs count, so you can have a total of 2 entries.

^ Please only one reblog though!

No giveaway blogs, if you reblog to a sideblog put the blog you follow from in the tags!

Have to reply within 48 hours if selected, or else I will have to choose another winner.

Giveaway ends September 1st at 3pm (Chicago time) Thank you all and good luck! 🍀

[newshour]

What does it take to teach a bee to use tools? A little time, a good teacher and an enticing incentive. Read more here: http://to.pbs.org/2mpRUAz

Credit: O.J. Loukola et al., Science (2017)

[paranoidgemsbok]

@clockworkrobotic

[robotlyra]

“Friend? Friend push ball? I push ball. I do good.”

[robotsandfrippary]

Bees.  Smart enough to push a ball, not smart enough to not be fooled by a stick masquerading as a bee. 

[madsciences]

maybe they know and they’re just being polite

[neil-gaiman]

Other dimensional beings are undoubtedly amazed at what human beings will accept as human beings too. “But it’s just a stick with a person on it.”

[lesbianrustcohle]

if i were a zookeeper my intrusive thoughts would be wild

[lesbianrustcohle]

brain: slap that penguin. right across his little blubbery tummy. it’ll jiggle.

me: no??? that’s mean???

brain: polar bear, then

me: no

[lesbianrustcohle]

brain: the lions just got fed raw meat

me: yes?

brain: steal it and eat it in front of them

me: …

[lesbianrustcohle]

rowan i want you to know that this is the best possible reply i could have received

[pro-survivors]

I work with animals and this is true for me. No, I cannot eat sea stars out the touch tank no matter HOW good you think the cronch will be, brain. 

[budgiekazoo]

sometimes you wonder what was going through the head of the first human to eat something really weird and then you see this post and stop wondering

[thenerdbeast-deactivated2018070]

@harinezumiko

[harinezumiko]

This 100% was me at the zoo. Don’t touch Melon, he’s mean. Okay, but I have to touch Bob to make him get his stupid emu head out of my shirt, so what if I also touch Melon until he likes it? Sephiroth is angery because he has one wing and sometimes attacks people? I want to pet him also. Also he won’t get off the rock I have to clean anyway, surely a little pets on the good side will be fine. Martha and Stewart are assholes that tag-team while the pond is filling? I bet I could CUDDLE THEM. The female deer will excitedly nuzzle you in the stomach for feeding them. This is fine, because they don’t have antlers. The male deer is locked up while we’re putting out food because he will gouge you to death with his little nubby asymmetrical horns, because he thinks the females are doing it. The entire monkey enclosure will eat your fingers for a single fruit loop. They also have the smallest arms and can reach through holes they’ve made in the tarp on the gate to their enclosure. Do not hold hands with the monkeys. (2nd gen old man monkey will also pee on the keepers that don’t give him fruit loops. He is a jerk.) The rehabilitated bear that still sits like she’s on a couch because she did that when she was living in a crack house? Yes, she looks chill. Yes, she looks The Softest. No, do not pet her back through the fence. No, do not go into the corridor and try to offer treats for pets. Big Mac does not know he will break your ribs, but YOU know he will break your ribs. Do not enter Big Mac’s enclosure no matter how much he chuffs and displays his belly and rubs on the cage and looks sad. Yes, he genuinely wants pets. Yes, Pinkie is deliberately getting pets where he can see it as a sign of dominance even though she’s a housecat and he could eat her in approximately one bite. The turtle is mean. Period. He is an old man and he does not like you. He does not like the parrot getting fries and he does not like that he is in a kiddie pool to warm up because his enclosure lost power, and he does not like you behind him preparing food for the owls and raptors. Petting him will not help this. He will rock back and forth and mean mug you forever because he is a grumpy old man. All of the rabbits need more handling on principle. They don’t know you and they are very distressed that you’re taking their poop away. They can learn, a little, kind of. The guinea pig is insane and will not learn. Do not pet the guinea pig.

[lesbianrustcohle]

this post is gathering some highly blessed zoo stories i love it! thank you

[blueelectricangels]

as biologist, can confirm

brain: that frog is very small me: well spotted, brain brain: put smol frog in mouth me: no!

brain: that lynx…looks so fluffy… me: it does brain: we should pet it. me: it’s awake and angry so no.

brain: baaaaby bunny. me: yup. brain: baby bunny goes in pocket me: nooo it doesn’t.

[catsandviolence]

"You should totally take that baby wallaby and carry it in your purse" is a thought I had today and when I shared it, multiple coworkers confirmed they had the same thought.

[garrett-hawkes]

Love at first sight? Tired, boring.

Love at first assassination attempt? Spicy

[trashwarden]

[catsandviolence]

400 notes needed to qualify! Hello humans, this year gish has asked us to make inclusive memes and I’m only 80% ace but talking to others, we all agreed it took us 84 years to figure it out because there just isn’t enough representation. Ace awareness for all you baby aces out there. You don’t have to pick another human, you can pick yourself and that’s ok

[tayaart]

[Has this been done yet]

DC shitposts

[fluffycastiel]

#GISHmeme

Please like and reblog so we can get 400 notes!

[catsandviolence]

400 notes needed to qualify! Hello humans, this year gish has asked us to make inclusive memes and I’m only 80% ace but talking to others, we all agreed it took us 84 years to figure it out because there just isn’t enough representation. Ace awareness for all you baby aces out there. You don’t have to pick another human, you can pick yourself and that’s ok

[catsandviolence]

heeeey, I know a lot of you will be in town for #sdcc and no better way to celebrate it than by ending the con by filling a room full of us and passing that con flu around while enjoying a band full of incredibly talented & unique humans. Read some of their interviews and fall in love then go troll SDSU for someone under 21 to take you

[yourfluffiestnightmare]

My friend told me a story he hadn’t told anyone for years. When he used to tell it years ago people would laugh and say, ‘Who’d believe that? How can that be true? That’s daft.’ So he didn’t tell it again for ages. But for some reason, last night, he knew it would be just the kind of story I would love.   When he was a kid, he said, they didn’t use the word autism, they just said ‘shy’, or ‘isn’t very good at being around strangers or lots of people.’ But that’s what he was, and is, and he doesn’t mind telling anyone. It’s just a matter of fact with him, and sometimes it makes him sound a little and act different, but that’s okay.   Anyway, when he was a kid it was the middle of the 1980s and they were still saying ‘shy’ or ‘withdrawn’ rather than ‘autistic’. He went to London with his mother to see a special screening of a new film he really loved. He must have won a competition or something, I think. Some of the details he can’t quite remember, but he thinks it must have been London they went to, and the film…! Well, the film is one of my all-time favourites, too. It’s a dark, mysterious fantasy movie. Every single frame is crammed with puppets and goblins. There are silly songs and a goblin king who wears clingy silver tights and who kidnaps a baby and this is what kickstarts the whole adventure.   It was ‘Labyrinth’, of course, and the star was David Bowie, and he was there to meet the children who had come to see this special screening.   ‘I met David Bowie once,’ was the thing that my friend said, that caught my attention.   ‘You did? When was this?’ I was amazed, and surprised, too, at the casual way he brought this revelation out. Almost anyone else I know would have told the tale a million times already.   He seemed surprised I would want to know, and he told me the whole thing, all out of order, and I eked the details out of him.   He told the story as if it was he’d been on an adventure back then, and he wasn’t quite allowed to tell the story. Like there was a pact, or a magic spell surrounding it. As if something profound and peculiar would occur if he broke the confidence.   It was thirty years ago and all us kids who’d loved Labyrinth then, and who still love it now, are all middle-aged. Saddest of all, the Goblin King is dead. Does the magic still exist?   I asked him what happened on his adventure.   ‘I was withdrawn, more withdrawn than the other kids. We all got a signed poster. Because I was so shy, they put me in a separate room, to one side, and so I got to meet him alone. He’d heard I was shy and it was his idea. He spent thirty minutes with me.   ‘He gave me this mask. This one. Look.   ‘He said: ‘This is an invisible mask, you see?   ‘He took it off his own face and looked around like he was scared and uncomfortable all of a sudden. He passed me his invisible mask. ‘Put it on,’ he told me. ‘It’s magic.’   ‘And so I did.   ‘Then he told me, ‘I always feel afraid, just the same as you. But I wear this mask every single day. And it doesn’t take the fear away, but it makes it feel a bit better. I feel brave enough then to face the whole world and all the people. And now you will, too.   ‘I sat there in his magic mask, looking through the eyes at David Bowie and it was true, I did feel better.   ‘Then I watched as he made another magic mask. He spun it out of thin air, out of nothing at all. He finished it and smiled and then he put it on. And he looked so relieved and pleased. He smiled at me.   ‘'Now we’ve both got invisible masks. We can both see through them perfectly well and no one would know we’re even wearing them,’ he said.   ‘So, I felt incredibly comfortable. It was the first time I felt safe in my whole life.   ‘It was magic. He was a wizard. He was a goblin king, grinning at me.   ‘I still keep the mask, of course. This is it, now. Look.’   I kept asking my friend questions, amazed by his story. I loved it and wanted all the details. How many other kids? Did they have puppets from the film there, as well? What was David Bowie wearing? I imagined him in his lilac suit from Live Aid. Or maybe he was dressed as the Goblin King in lacy ruffles and cobwebs and glitter.   What was the last thing he said to you, when you had to say goodbye?   ‘David Bowie said, ‘I’m always afraid as well. But this is how you can feel brave in the world.’ And then it was over. I’ve never forgotten it. And years later I cried when I heard he had passed.’   My friend was surprised I was delighted by this tale.   ‘The normal reaction is: that’s just a stupid story. Fancy believing in an invisible mask.’   But I do. I really believe in it.   And it’s the best story I’ve heard all year.

Paul Magrs (via yourfluffiestnightmare)

[kevinwada-deactivated20230323]

Midnighter X Tom of Finland 2017 commission

[beggars-opera]

The best notes written in manuscripts by medieval monks

Colophon: a statement at the end of a book containing the scribe or owner’s name, date of completion, or bitching about how hard it is to write a book in the dark ages

Oh, my hand

The parchment is very hairy

Thank God it will soon be dark

St. Patrick of Armagh, deliver me from writing

Now I’ve written the whole thing; for Christ’s sake give me a drink

Oh d fuckin abbot

Massive hangover

Whoever translated these Gospels did a very poor job

Cursed be the pesty cat that urinated over this book during the night

If someone else would like such a handsome book, come and look me up in Paris, across from the Notre Dame cathedral

I shall remember, O Christ, that I am writing of Thee, because I am wrecked today

Do not reproach me concerning the letters, the ink is bad and the parchment scanty and the day is dark

11 golden letters, 8 shilling each; 700 letters with double shafts, 7 shilling for each hundred; and 35 quires of text, each 16 leaves, at 3 shilling each. For such an amount I won’t write again

Here ends the second part of the title work of Brother Thomas Aquinas of the Dominican Order; very long, very verbose; and very tedious for the scribe; thank God, thank God, and again thank God

If anyone take away this book, let him die the death, let him be fried in a pan; let the falling sickness and fever seize him; let him be broken on the wheel, and hanged. Amen

[stability]

art

[dirtylittledamsel]

I’m literally screaming over the new grindr emojis

[juuliaroberts]

[surprisebitch]

they REALLY KNOW their users. this is Grindr Culture

[sosuperawesome]

Qian Shi on Tumblr and Society6

• So Super Awesome is also on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest •

[prorevenge]

Neighbor sued me after harassing my dog for months, lost horribly.

About 6 or 7 months ago, my neighbor got a drone. I don’t mind people having hobbies, but for some reason he insisted on flying like the biggest jerk possible. He would hover in front of other houses and windows, try to “race” cars going down the road, and worst of all he had a habit of flying his drone in my fenced back yard buzzing over my dog, diving low just over my dogs head before circling around to do it again. My dog isn’t small, he’s about 70lbs and a Malamute, but the drone terrified him, and I was worried what would happen if it hit him.

I asked my neighbor several times to please not fly in my yard and explained that it was scaring my dog, he basically told me to get lost and laughed in my face. When it still continued, I called the police. Unfortunately there wasn’t much they could do other than ask him to please not fly over my house/property.

Finally, in late December it happened - my dog got tired of his shit and managed to catch the drone right as it was diving towards him. He shredded the drone, the thing was just a jumbled mess of wires and plastic.

Neighbor was pissed. He stormed over to my house swearing and threatening me, which I ignored. A week later, I got a summons to small claims court - he wanted $900 for the cost of his drone and an additional $300 for supposedly denying him access to his property (the drone sat in my yard for a couple hours before it was retrieved). F*ck that. He could have killed my dog. I don’t have kids or a girlfriend, I just have my dog who is my best friend for the past 7 years. That dog has moved with me three times, was there when I graduated college, saw me buy my first house and my first new car. I love my dog.

Went to LegalAdvice, got some great help from them. Turns out, him suing me was the best thing to ever happen. When we got to small claims court, the judge basically laughed away his claims that I had intentionally trained my dog to attack his drone. But little did he know I was prepared. I had dozens of photos of my yard showing it was impossible for him to “accidentally” fly that low to my dog, videos of him harassing my dog in the past, and I had saved all my medical bills from taking my dog to the vet. $700 for an xray? Check. Another $250 to sedate him during? Why not, don’t want him being uncomfortable. Full dental exam with tooth cleaning/repair? $400. Then there was the cost of anti-anxiety meds and a secondary check up, wet food for a week in case his teeth were hurt, and extra just for good measure. In the end, the a-hole ended up owing me almost $2,000, and now is being investigated by the FAA for not having a registered drone and violating several FAA regulations concerning drone flight, too near an airport, too close to other people, out of sight of operator and waaay above the maximum altitude.

Enjoy never being allowed to fly drones again, d*ck.