we got a huge, deep, comfy new couch and leslie got a rocker/recliner that’s big enough for a cat to sit on either side of ya when you’re rocking. also bought a new tv, and we deep cleaned the carpet. that carpet hadn’t been cleaned in... twenty years or more. it’s cozy in there now. soft, fluffy blankets. chocolate brown overstuffed furniture. netflix on the telly. open space for stretching out on the floor. we’re updating the house one room at a time.
i have a pumpkin pie in the oven for this guy i’m talking to. my house smells great. the pie looks great. this guy is nice. he’s catsitting for his grandmother so he picked me up and took me to her house on saturday, where we hung out with his friend brad. they played video games and we watched early 2000s hip-hop and r&b music videos, hahaha. we also listened to sage the gemini, which made me so happy. hahaha. and andrew put on the music video for “tainted love” which i had never seen before. it’s disgusting. hahaha. the most intimate part of the night was when andrew had his grandmother’s tiny cat on his lap and he put his foot up on my chair. i put my hands on his foot and ankle and he let me just mindlessly touch him. i was paying attention more to the music videos and the cat and the conversation but it was nice to just gently touch a gorgeous person. i felt comfortable. he texted me after and told me that he really liked that.
no one is making a move, there’s no pressure to do or be anything outside of my comfort zone, we’re just getting to know each other and learning if and where we might fit into each other’s lives. he likes it when i text him, and he tells me every night, when he says goodnight, that i should text him tomorrow. and i do. i’m not obsessed with him, which is rare for me, hahahaha. but i do like him. and it is so nice to have a reason to cook and bake for someone. i made him this dish that i love, called farmhouse chicken, and it’s got potatoes and peas and carrots and garlic boursin cheese with shredded chicken thighs. it’s delicious, and i know that, but he even said so. and he’s so thankful and surprised at how i actually want to do nice things for him. i told him how happy it makes me to have a reason and a desire to do nice things for someone, to just be nice without expecting anything back. when i used to do nice things for sam, it was secretly always motivated by a hope to show him that i was good, and good enough for him. but i don’t feel that same desperate hope when i do anything nice for andrew, all i feel is joy in doing it and pleasure upon doing well. i love baking, so i made this pie for me, basically. he just gets to eat it, hahah. he’s not the kind of man i thought i would be interested in, but i find him interesting. and i love how slowly it’s going. we’ve been going out for coffee and drinks and seeing each other five days a week for almost two months and we don’t even hold hands, hahaha. but i blew him a kiss when he dropped me off at home and he said “i think i caught that.” it’s good for me to not rush into something complsively just because i think i want it. and he gives me a lot of time to figure out what i want, in part because i think he’s figuring out what he wants, too. he’s good. and also beautiful....
vaporwave
romaincrisis
prguitarman
tangentwithtanner
yousharknotpass
amandla
izzy806
