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collei’s magical mystery cure
I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before
a sasamiya print i'll be selling at Patrons of the Arts Boys' Club!
I know everyone sees Itto as Genshin's comedic relief, but I'm telling you all, Alhaitham is actually the funniest character in Genshin Impact.
According to the fandom, he's hot, he's famous, he's the one in charge of the house...
But according to the people of Sumeru? Dude became grand sage and not a single NPC around the city had a thing to say about that. Sachin's son got his ass beat and he didn't even know who Alhaitham was; it was just "some guy in green." People on the streets are said to not even notice Alhaitham, let alone be able to identify him by appearance. The only time we ever hear NPCs directly commenting on Alhaitham, it's Siraj's collective who hate Alhaitham's guts. Dori refuses to work with him. Random Eremites call him a lunatic within two minutes of meeting him.
Alhaitham's reputation in Sumeru is "Who? Ah, that guy? I heard he's weird," and then everyone moves on.
Meanwhile, Kaveh is literally famous enough to have an epithet ("the Light of Kshahrewar"), is the lead architect on entire city redesigns, and was trusted before Alhaitham's take over to do work on the Akademiya itself. He built the most famous landmark in the rainforest outside of the Divine Tree. He's well-known enough that people bank on his reputation to start scams; people send their children to take courses with him in the belief that it will bless them with successful future careers. He's known for philanthropic endeavors to help the poor and disadvantaged. He won the Interdarshan Championship. This is the Sumeru equivalent of winning an Olympic gold medal!!
Kaveh is the Taylor Swift to Alhaitham's Travis Kelce. They might have independent success, but in every measurement of public sentiment, Kaveh vastly outshines Alhaitham, and the fandom should really take a step back and think about how hilarious this makes everything about their situation in canon.
For the few in Sumeru who are actually paying attention, sure, Alhaitham is the (former) acting grand sage who makes a pretty penny and owns the house Kaveh lives in. For the average majority of Sumeru's citizens who are way more likely to know Kaveh? Alhaitham is literally just "that guy who is shacked up with the Light of Kshahrewar."
Kaveh's efforts to keep where he lives a secret just makes him come across like one of those reclusive types of artists who value their privacy. Half the public in Sumeru probably think he just prefers to keep himself and his lover out of the limelight. Kaveh was so busy pretending not to be poor, he forgot that every ounce of pretending he does just helps him keep his own celebrity status. The harder he attempts to act secretive about where he lives and with whom, the more it comes across as "Please respect this famous person's privacy and stop asking about the details of his relationship."
And Alhaitham, for whom being "that guy who is shacked up with the Light of Kshahrewar" is THE life goal? Everything is going according to keikaku. Kaveh has convinced the entirety of Sumeru that he and Alhaitham are in a relationship, all without Alhaitham having to lift a finger. The more determined Alhaitham gets to fly under the radar, the more it looks like he's Kaveh's kept man. If you aren't living with him because you're broke, then why are you living with him, Kaveh? There's simply no way for Alhaitham to lose.
It's just... so funny.
my little genshin.. my little genshin aaaaaaa my two hyperfixations converged and i couldn't resist so.. genshin characters as ponies! yippee
𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘌𝘯𝘥 𝘟 𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯 𝘐𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳.
❤️ CHARACTERS: Venti as Yoichi Saotome, Kamisato Ayato as Ferid Bathory, Kaeya Alberich as Crowley Eusford, Childe as Shinya Hiiragi, Hu Tao as Shinoa Hiiragi, Zhongli as Guren Ichinose, Chongyung as Mikaela Hyakuya and Xingqiu as Yuichiro Hyakuya.
‼️ PERMISSION TO REPOST WAS GIVEN BY THE ARTIST ‼️
❤️ CREDIT: https://instagram.com/xiaoann?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
The Sumeru writing really shows how much the Inazuma writing dropped the ball with Kokomi
In the Inazuma quest, we are told Kokomi is a master strategist even before meeting her. And after meeting her, we are still continuously told she's a great strategist...
...but they tell, not show.
I cannot think of any instance in Inazuma quest where Kokomi did something that made me understand why she got the title if great strategist. Her contributions during the quest are telling us securing food is a priority for the army. Which, no shit, that's army survival 101 and not a show of superior strategic knowledge. Her other contribution is... hiring mercenaries to help out in a pinch. Which is also something basic. Even the fact that the resistance managed to reach Raiden's place as we were leaving turned out to be thanks to Ayato and not any actual planning by Kokomi.
Meanwhile...Sumeru. Sumeru shows us great strategizing.
Alhaitham is introduced as a high ranking scribe. We are not told he is a genius strategist. On the contrary, the narrative tries to make him look suspicious until the very last second. Yet this scribe is shown to come up with great and complex strategies. He builds on the knowledge he has, considers each characters unique strengths and creates a complex and intelligent plan to counterattack the overwhelming odds.
They wrote Alhaitham doing what Kokomi should have done, since she is the one we were told to be the master strategist.
Heck, the disappointment goes beyond the Archon Quest. Even her character quest did not improve this. Most of it was how she's so caring and diligent yet overworked, without again showcasing any brilliant strategies. At the end if it we are taken to witness Kokomi on the peace treaty... except there's no real tension for the player. The other side is being represented by Sara, a character we know is on our side and also wishes for peace. So again there's no real showing of Kokomi using her intelligence.
Meanwhile Nilou's quest has more strategy than Kokomi. And Nilou is not touted as that sort of character. Yet her quest also has her needing to go negotiate, and has her needing to think up intelligent arguments and plans. And for Nilou there is more tension: though the other party extended an olive branch by agreeing to the debate, it's clear he still needs to be convinced to agree to allow the theater to exist. Sara never needed to be convinced of letting the rebels go.
All in all, it's a shame what they did to Kokomi. After telling us again and again that she was a great strategist they couldn't even show us one instance of it, and Sumeru writing then shows us what actual intelligent strategizing would be.
the fact that al haitham speaks at least 20 languages is hot.
imagine him professing his affections in 20 different languages, knowing you don't understand him, as his way of gaining courage to confess.
It’s giving Jose Rizal
Kaveh as Antonio Luna, bet.
When the time comes, this is how I expect this to go. Alhaitham: *Explains his entire plan in detail using a whiteboard and string* Kaveh: You're taking on the Akademiya. Kaveh: They have the Corps of Thirty Kaveh: An Archon Kaveh: and two Fatui Harbingers Alhaitham: Yes Kaveh: All have we is a teenager, their pet, one capable mercenary, and YOU Kaveh: How fucking insane are you? Alhaitham: *glares* Very. Are you in or not? Kaveh: *glares back* As if it was even a question, of course I'm fucking in. Kaveh: Someone has to be the handsome decoy.
When you just want to invite the traveller to a nice dinner but your boyfriend decides it’s a good time to tell jokes
Not over the fact that apparently (from leaks) Cyno tells jokes at the dinner table and Tighnari keeps telling him not to
*does what hoyoverse cant*
Biggest reveal of this event was that the rest of the yakshas were fun loving relatively well adjusted people (obvs before the Everything). And turns out Xiao is just like that
Saw Heizou had to draw him in Detective Conan poses 😂
The torn page.
★ 【アナ】 「 1 // 2 」 ☆ ✔ republished w/permission ⊳ ⊳ follow me on twitter
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