A Paradox

23 | Ravenclaw | ENFP-A

[catchymemes]

[absolutegibberishandnumbers]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[bumblebeebats]

God what i wouldn't give to have the sheer stamina and work ethic of my next door neighbor. Every morning, 8am, the hammers and drills come out. he's putting up shelves. he's feeding cables through walls 6 inches from my pillow. He's putting together furniture. He's making smoothies. He's 74 years old. Does it piss me off? of course. But i have to admit that he is clearly also the superior being. I need The Substance but to turn me (anemic 20-something with the constitution of a consumptive Victorian child) into this absolute beast of a man

[bumblebeebats]

Met this same neighbor today as he was effortlessly hauling his bike up 4 flights of stairs having just finished a 20 mile bike ride and i (masked and bedraggled) explained that I'm on the tail end of a cold but venturing out as I've run out of food, and he was like "Aww no!! 🥺🥺 If you ever need me to pop down to the shops and do some shopping for you just let me know!!" like Steven, that is SO kind, truly, but I have to draw the line at you doing Meals on Wheels for me right now. what i actually need is for you to come with me on a Back To The Future style adventure and somehow make you my biological grandpa because my current genes are simply not pulling their weight. can you leave me your zest for life in your will, Steven. Steven please

[thoughtportal]

cleaning along desire paths

[lady-griffin]

Fantastic advice!! And something I’ve realized I’ve been doing for myself these last 6-7 years, even though I never had a name for it.

Seriously, this is such a great way to go about organizing your home.

I really can’t express how much easier your life can be when you accept that there’s no objectively right way to do this kind of stuff, especially when you let go of the idea that it’s a moral failure when you can’t do something the “correct way” nor is it evidence of you being lazy.

Working with (leaning into) your natural limits and instincts can do wonders for you in your day-to-day life.

[thequeenundying]

Wouldn't it be easier to just walk around your house for 10 min and throw any obvious trash? I would forget about the small trash cans so easily.

[thoughtportal]

no it wouldn't be easier. some people's brains work differently and they need different advice and hacks for keeping organized. for some people small trash cans would be a nuisance for others a revelation.

[evlixr]

[dumpster-of-amontillado-deactiv]

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Richard Siken, Portrait of Fryderyk in Shifting Light (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[glorioustragedykid]

There's a weird 3 star movie out there ready to change your life forever

[vexheart]

Life finds a way, even in the cracks of concrete.

[esotericsnob]

It always finds a way. 🌼 🌸

[love]

[thememedaddy]

[thememedaddy]

[thememedaddy]

[despazito]

[catchymemes]

[o-oluuu]

The answer to your problems is self-discipline

[sab3rtooth]

[californiagoddess]

Chat is this real

[doomdaysdecays-deactivated20251]

no. your problems are everyone elses fault and the answer is to kill people

[californiagoddess]

So true and real thank you for your wisdom ❤️

[escuerzoresucitado]

[valtsv]

[bogleech]

When I took the multiple choice knowledge test to get my driver's license I somehow still remember one of the questions was "highway hypnosis is..." and one of the 'wrong' possible answers was "a secret technique to frighten other drivers"

That was 23 years ago and I still think about it all the time, it's not even that funny is it, it's just arbitrarily stuck in my head forever and ever.

[tendie-defender]

New political strategy just dropped.

Taiwanese parliament member stole a Bill before it could get passed. 

@NFL Someone sign this man as a running back.

[darklordreasonable]

This is simply how they do things in Taiwan. In 2006, DPP deputy Wang Shu-hui successfully prevented a vote on an incoming bill by Eating It.

[lizzylolz]

america, take notes.