Elezen Ramblings @isgardianmilktea - Tumblr Blog

"You are not allowed to die, not yet"

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

nealashitposts

I do feel the need to add that later he excitedly tell the group that as a straight guy, he never thought that skill would be useful outside hotdog eating contests.

hyperrbolic-orange

"Man its too bad that im straight since I've got like no gag reflex and all."

"Honey, I must tell you, i am in fact trans and I have not had bottom surgery."

"My god... everything's coming up Jason."

dancinbutterfly

Pure of heart dumb of ass hetero of sexual

threedollarsdotcom

no one can save you but yourself. thats why its important to start swinging your deadly sword around in a circle. dont stop regardless of what people tell you just keep swinging it around

This but you cry like 5 or 6 times minimum in the process of drawing the owl. Good luck, Warrior of Light!

icecarol

the funniest thing haurchefant has ever done is just gift you a bird in the courthouse after you saved a 16 year old from life imprisonment by the catholic church. and then immediately getting told hey man you can't have that bird in here. this is a courthouse.

icecarol

and the bird is horse sized

thesleepiestspiny

"I'm At Soup" but you're in the room with Lelouch

Visit Original Link

This conversation is funnier hearing just one half of it.

wizard-loving-wizard

OMG SAM SAID THE THING

paranoidgemsbok

GAZE UPON THE MONEY BEEBLES SO THAT YOU TOO MAY FIND RICHES SO PROFUSE THAT THEY KNOCK YOU OUT

greelin

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

meilintheempressofdreams

Reblog for unexpected $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

symbolblue

uhh did i forget how time works or was the first post in december 2018 and the second in august 2018

greetings-inferiors

Reblog for time travelling $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

queenofnowhereandnothing-deacti

render94

typewriter!

theclockworkjudas

I love the orchestra trying and failing to maintain a straight face throughout

silly-jellyghoty

Exactly. These people had to rehearse at least a few times all at once yet when it's nkt their turn to play they still look at that guy with the typewriter as if he was the most fascinating thing they have ever seen.