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@celeweenie
mack, opening the door to vancouver house: yeah so this is the house, come on in smit
will: awww look at u baby ur so pretty baby i lov u sososo much cmere baby i'll give u a kiss no a thousand kisses a million kisses ur so cute my baby
mack, blushing furiously: will--
mack: [realizes will was talking to the family dog]
mack: 🤨
AITA for being jealous of my dog?
my (20M) best friend (21M) came to visit me at my family home for the first time and im rly excited that he's finally here but bill (fake name obvs) keeps talking to my dog in like this baby voice and kissing her and petting her and letting her sit in his lap and it's so annoying because like im here too and like why can't smitty just do that with me
like he could just as well kiss me and pull me to his lap and call me a good girl or boy idc like my dog doesn't even know any tricks even though will i mean bill keeps trying to teach her and one time he got cali to sit down on command and he was so excited he gave her sixteen and a half kisses and twenty-one scritches but when i showed my sickest deke to bill he just said it was cool and didn't even kiss me?? the fuck
my dad rly likes bill and welcomed him to stay at the house with us for as long as he wants but it's so annoying when my friend's so focused on our family dog and i think i should like buy a house in vancouver where i could take him every offseason from now on for when he comes home with me but when i told my childhood best friend about all of this he hung up on me and my brothers keep fucking chirping me even my little brother who has the world's biggest hockey crush on my will so like what-the-fuck-ever rj ur a little stinker anyway and ur not coming to boston with us so suck it.
so yeah reddit am i the fucking asshole or not
edit 1: to all the people asking no, obviously my friend and me are not dating. like, objectively i'd marry him in a heartbeat but that has nothing to do wit this. fuck off if ur not going to offer real advice.
edit 2. IT'S NOT LIKE THAT WE'RE JUST FRIENDS WHO SOMETIMES MAKE OUT AND I'D DIE FOR HIM THAT'S IT.
edit 3. MYFRIEDN CAUGHT ONTO MY JEALOUSY AND NOW HE'S STARTED COMPLIMENTING ME LIKE ALL THE TIME AND PETTING MH HAIR AND GIVIGN ME LIKE BIG FAKE SMOOCHES AND I JUST iwanandiebutalsoforhimtokeepgoingbutalsotonotbejokingbutlikeinabroway
edit 4. SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR THE LAST TIME WE AREN'T GAY WE EVEN PLAY HOCKEY OKAY
edit 5. we might be a little gay
Do we care Will is MAGA or nah?
afaik there’s no proof of this other than some tenuous extrapolation based on his family having registered as republican pre-trump era (which like… mass repub are gen nawwt maga, see eg m*tt romney famous rino).
but much more importantly: the cardinal sin of hrpf is EVER falling for the propaganda that a hockey player is a good person!!! listen. PLEASE. for your own sanity. the stripper does not love you. in fact the stripper barely sees you as a person, not necessarily bc they’re consciously racist or sexist or homophobic but bc they’ve never once interacted w anyone outside their tiny hockey bubble which is wildly insular and homogenous and heavily, heavily punishes nonconformity.
i don’t necessarily think the wackles are bad people, but their idea of what a good person is gonna be just. so insanely far off what 90% of people on this platform value. and that’s simply an inevitable outcome of their upbringing and lifestyles. it’s so so so important to remember that bc otherwise they WILL disappoint you and it WILL break your heart. as someone who’s been involved in hockey (as a player, coach, friend of players, and fan) for over 2 decades, i am telling you right now that if you deviate in any way from the hockey blueprint (female, poc, queer, even leftist or non-affluent), you need to learn how to love something that does not love you. and that requires keeping v v firm boundaries between reality, fiction, what you can live with and what you can’t.
mack: so. like. will.
will: yeah?
mack: now that i'm captain. we should like. stop. like the. the things we do. like i should get a girlfriend. right? that's what captains do. right smitty?
will: yeah sure man no sweat do what u want
mack: that's... it? ur not... like. upset?
mack, internally: he should be so fucking upset. like crying-his-eyes-out, so-angry-he-breaks-things-and-begs-me-not-to-leave upset. like he should tell me not to go through with it and that he'd be better for me than any girl. and he should obviously throw me down onto the bed and fuck me to make me understand that i'm all he wants. obviously. like objectively that's what he should do. like objectively that's what i would do if smitty said he'd want to fuck someone else. like i'd chain him to the bed and not let him leave until he swore i was all he wanted. and like obviously he should do the same to me bc he doesn't want anyone other than me and he doesn't want ME to even think about anyone else. like, objectively.
will, carefully keeping his voice easy-going and perfectly even: well yeah it was only a matter of time. fun while it lasted though, right?
mack:
mack: 🤨
mack, blood boiling: like it's been two years though. nothing?
will: dude no offence but ur not the only man in the world. if u wanna get a gf, get a gf. hey, do u think people still use raya for hookups or should i just redownload grindr?
mack, blank faced, gritted teeth: whywouldudothat.
will: i mean if ur getting a gf, then i'm--
mack: throws will's phone against the wall
will: stares
mack: stares back
will: say sorry
mack: why would i say sorry? i'll buy u another one. ten if u want. like do u think ur grindr hookups would. or even could. like i'm obviously way better for u than any of them
will: that's not really how apologies work
mack: good bc i'm not apologizing when ur the one being a fucking idiot. pull ur head out of ur ass smitty obviously u won't need to download anything bc ur not fucking anyone else
will: well unfortunately u don't get to decide that for me.
mack: i do if ur my boyfriend, though.
will: well luckily we're not that, so.
mack: we are though. like exclusive. like no one other than me. right? say it
will, sighing theatrically: fineeee if that's what u want then whatever i guess. neither one of us will fuck anyone else. if u insist
mack: i do. like, ur mine smit. obviously.
will: lol sure whatever
will, internally, smug as hell even though he's been on the verge of hyperventilating ever since mack started talking abt getting a gf: and that's how it's done baybeeehh will smith married will smith chosen will smith the one and only suck it ladiesss i'm gonna make him buy me a ring with a rock so big my hand gets sore lugging it around yet another flawless play by wild wild willyyy
mack, 2025: will and i couldn’t prank each other because it would get too ugly. i would blow up his car. no windshields, no windows, no roof, no wheels. it wouldn’t be enjoyable
mack, 2026, after seeing the slight furrow in will’s brows when realising that mack jestfully removed the batteries from his tv remote on april 1: [curled on the floor by will’s feet, heaving through sobs] i’msorey smit i m’m sorry i didn’t meqn it please donmy be upset pleas ei love you indidn’t mean it. you’re tje best thing that has ever happened to me please i’m so sorry i don’t knowwhy i did that. see the batteries are right here they’re right here smit i’m soo rorry please don’t be upset please. you’re sobeautiful and smart and you play amaizng hockey and i would die a thousand deaths for you will i’mso sorry please forgive me plwease. do you want to get me back by restricting the oxygen flow to my brain
mack, august 2026: boop. got your nose. hah! just kidding haha. it’s still there. i was just joking i didn’t actually take your nose haha. i would never do that. can i wiggle on it later
i wish we knew each other in college
i manifested these outfits wait
feeling incredibly emo about his smile
not rpfing anymore i genuinely believe they have explored each other’s bodies at least once
I firmly believe that Will was Mack’s bisexual awakening and it freaked him out a little. I think they probably drunkenly made out one night and then didn’t talk about it for a long time because Mack didn’t know what to do with the feelings he was having for another guy.
i am a will is mack's bi awakening trutherrrrrrr
Do you think Jacob Fowler or Will Smith (hockey) go for blondes or Brunettes? Because tbh Jacob Fowler i could do! lol
well first and foremost i think will smith (hockey) goes for dick, so
and macklin got both😌🤲🏻
will is my little new tiny girl puppy that’s already a bit crusty because she’s a fluffy white dog and she wobbles on her feet a bit and doesn’t really like anything except for the expensive food i feed her but im still fond of her. i put her in a pretty pink rhinestoned collar and matching pink bows and bring her with me everywhere in her very own stroller.
mack is the family chihuahua. he barks.
au where will has always been weirdly nonchalant about relationships.
not in a commitment issues way, just nothing ever really seemed to change when he was dating someone. he’d mention having a partner like he was talking about the weather, never really gushed about anyone, never acted particularly lovesick.
gabe and leno used to give him so much shit because half the time they weren’t even convinced he liked the people he was dating.
then he meets macklin and it’s like a switch flips.
he turns into the biggest lover boy ever.
he’s always looking for macklin, always talking about him, always finding some excuse to be next to him, every conversation circles back to macklin and before long everyone around him knows far more about mack than they ever expected to.
he just completely loses any sense of being chill when it comes to him.
gabe and leno never let him hear the end of it, constantly chirping him for being such a simp.
colleen on the other hand is absolutely delighted because she’s never seen him this happy.
macklin finding out that this is completely new behaviour for will and being extremely pleased about it because in the back of his mind he’d been a little worried he was maybe being a bit too much.
finding out will is just as obsessed with him as he is with will has him trying (and failing) not to be extremely smug.
bardown said miss me with that wmack271 gay shit
Macklin auburn hair agenda. Macklin ginger agenda. Macklin red hair agenda. Macklin doesn’t have brown hair agenda.
grouse grind
there's something so sinister about hockey rpf being used for engagement bait when the national hockey league is so well known for its homophobia and intolerance that somehow in its 100+ year history there has never been one openly gay/out player on a major league hockey team. like 100 whole entire years have passed and not one single man felt safe enough to be himself. but sure every time the notifs slow down let's just whip some willmack out there into the public eye. that oughta do it. i'm sure this has been discussed before i think it's just even weirder in today's climate. like they (the league) are very much using these guys for marketing regardless of what personal feelings they may have on the matter. like the second you sign that contract not only does the nhl own your body but they also own the public narrative about your sexuality and relationships. and they're going to get everyone else in on the joke because they want views/clicks. really weird. what happened to reasonable expectations of privacy. what happened to boundaries. it is literally statistically impossible that there should be zero (0) gay players in your league's entire history + current roster and yet no man has lived his truth for fear of backlash. don't worry y'all it's 2026 we love the gays look at all the colorful tape on our sticks. you freaks and weirdos are totally welcome here. but ☝️ remember that being gay is for other people, and for hockey players it's only okay if it's a joke and/or being flouted for engagement. super awesome great work everyone. let's hit the showers
