Bowbow Prepped Ointment of Water Repelling
Molly distributed magic items
Grey was awoken and spied Absolam talking to silver in Sylvan "I will try to buy you and your brother some time." Then plucked a feather from Silver and it flew off to the north. Absolam then turned and saw Grey watching him, seemed shocked for a moment but hid it. Told Grey "When searching for answers, you might not always like what you find."
The next day they set sail from the isle of the wolf, and found the floating hulk of the Emperor of the Waves, derelict and drifting low in the water.
Boarding with their smaller rowboat, they found recent bloodstains and wicked claw marks upon the barnacle encrusted deck.
On the forecastle they found a Muttborn corpse, week dead covered in spiral markings, a chest with a fine brass telescope, and a strange lantern. Jasper touched the lantern, and with a flash of purple light it erased his memories of the past day, causing him much distress at suddenly finding himself upon this derelict ship.
At Molly's direction they next investigated the captains cabin, finding it had been turned into a disturbing temple. Jasper was almost grabbed by a strangling seaweed, but dodges, then they were attacked by a disturbing crab humanoid, a half human octopus thing, and swarms of crabs. The party fought well, and dispatched the creatures. looting the room they found the captains log, detailing the ship's last voyage, a bag with 10 gems worth 100 each, and a magic talisman made from a shrunken kraken eye.
Not finding a rout forward from here, and with Oceanus' patron urging them to follow a strange tone down into the depths of the ship, they turned to the navigators room near the front fo the ship. Opening the barnacle encrusted door they found the large room filled with ominously swaying seaweed, and managed to spot another crab creature and a horrifying gibbering mouther. Luring the creatures out with an illusion, they quickly dispatched the crabling, but the gibbering mouther assaulted them with it's tormented wails, binding Molly to the deck and speaking hidden knowledge to Silver of a "Keystone, Egg Tooth, Birth Gravel of the Great Serpent."
As the monstrosity approached, Jasper rushed forward with his stolen cutlass Gold Pick, and struck the thing down, turning it's body to solid gold. Looked up the density of gold vs. flesh. it's 1bout 19.3 : 1, so for a quick formula lets round up to 20. The gibbering mouther was 150 lbs of flesh, so 3000 lbs of gold. at 50 gp per pound that's 150,000 gold pieces!!!
The Gibbering Mouther. A monster of such eldritch design, it'll drive your DM mad.
The Gibbering Mouther! A freakish thing as twisted as any DM could hope for. A screaming sack of flesh, muttering the last thoughts of countless souls as they were wrought anew by some debased wizard? Yes please!
Now I'll be honest, when I was a wee boy, obsessing over my 3rd edition monster manual (the only ttrpg book I had for many years), I doubt I ever even read the stat block for this thing. But I remember this art vividly.
Look at this fucking thing. Pure meat horror.
Well, this lovely little freak kinda sat in the back of my mind, just waiting for the right moment to be unleashed on my unsuspecting friends, and finally that day had arrived. A perfect scenario for some eldritch abominations. A derelict ship, drifting aimlessly after two different evil cults each killed each other to the last man on board.
So I pull out my 5e monster manual, leaf to my big mouthy boy with anticipation, and read the stat block...
What. The. Fuck.
Saves. Saves. Saves and more fucking Saves! How many rolls could you possibly need? Lets break this down, because I can't quite believe this is a real stat block.
This is a horror monster, presumably it should try and ambush the players. I mean with an Int of 3 it's dumber than an ape, but still. I want to spook my friends, so I'm gonna have this thing jump out of some hole or slither up through the floor boards or other equally freaky shenanigans. So we'll assume at least one character is starting their turn within 10 feet. So they start with roll 1. Strength save.
Next they hear its horrible gibbers and screams. make another 2. Wisdom Save. Better not fail this one, or the DM must now, 3. Roll d8 to determine what that character does, 50/50 it's nothing (players love not playing right?), or 4. Roll another d8 to determine a random movement direction (again probably nothing if your in a cramped space and just walk into a wall), or 6. Roll to attack and 7. Roll to damage a 8. randomly picked unfortunate...
That's 8 potential dice rolls, on every turn, before the thing even takes an action, half of them the DM has to track and do themselves, only for either nothing to happen, or the Barbarian turns around and punches the hapless wizard in the face.
What kind of masochistic, dice fetishist would put themselves through this nonsense? Not me, that's for sure.
But I'm too fond of this guy's design to just toss him away, so I'll have to commit the perennial 5e DM's task, fixing something for free that a professional game designer did for money.
First lets set some goals.
No "Save at the start of your turn". I dislike saves in general. Roll a dice so that the cool thing doesn't happen, sucks. Let the thing do it's thing, and let the players figure out how to deal with it.
I like the concept of it's maddening wails causing random chaos and fear, so let's lean into that. But 1 dice roll = 1 result, none of this roll to roll to roll again crap.
It spits flashbangs? Why? Toss that, redo entirely. Lets give it something freak to do.
First. It's an ooze so obviously it should be Amorphous.
Next, no saving throw to get your feet stuck, difficult terrain is enough to track.
Now the good stuff. The Gibbering! No saves, instead nearby characters can choose. Listen to the thing's raving (and maybe even get something good) or give up the use of your hands for the turn. This still hits the effect of madness inducing chaos, but with 1/8th the dice rolls and a lot more flavor. And why would all the poor souls trapped in the mouther be malevolent all the time, sometimes they might say something nice, or reveal some impossible truth. More eldritch that way.
Last the blinding spit is gone, I get that it was another way to immobilize prey, but it was lame and dumb, so now the thing can scream the molecules around it into entropic sludge. Some saves here, but at least the effects are now suitably horrifying.
You can find the stat block here: https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/xlKWKatH_HYg
Throughout November we've been running a Taverns month for Maps, Scenes and Sci-Fi releases! Keep your eyes peeled for several bars, taverns and winery releases over the next few weeks. 🍻🍷
Here's the Haunted Dockside Tavern. 👻
A hard journey awaits the adventurers in the dark swamps. Creatures hide in the dark stalking those who trespass in their territory.
Many have tried to live in this place, but they always succumb to madness or worse. As such, many places are abandoned. Or at least they seem to be.
With no other choice than press forward, what sort of horrors will the heroes find in the darkness?
You can see a preview of this map’s Patreon content by clicking here.
If you liked the map I’d be extremely thankful if you considered supporting me on my Patreon, rewards include higher resolution files, gridless versions, alternate versions, line versions, PSDs and more. Thank you!
a group of wizards playing "dont let it touch the ground" with a magic missile, giggling like children and bouncing it back and forth like a balloon, until one of them drops it and dies screaming in the most horrific explosion you've ever seen. the other wizards are unphased and continue the game with a new missile like nothing happened.
Oh, damnit, I am going to need to dive into the Jewelry Box of Doom and find this ring, because I bought (a bad knockoff of) it on one of my late night WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!? jewelry binges.
First, the image of what I bought. Yes I paid under $5. That is important later.
Now, I did silversmithing for a while so I know that there are unscrupulous people who take images of very painstakingly detailed jewelry, and use those images to 3D print wax casts to make fakes.
The problem is the resolution on those aren’t great.
So.
You get.
Uh.
Cc: @leebrontide as I think you should see what fresh hell you dodged.
Long, winding corridors of this cavern snake and split between the stone. Dimly, the sound of trickling water hints at an underground stream, and further depths to explore, but around every corner, there may be something more surprising than mushrooms and rocks…
I was wondering if you could do some random city job notices for the small adventurers guild of a somewhat medium sized city? My players are the adventurers guild and Ii feel kinda bad only having one or two job options for them each session. The town is a port town with a mine nearby that secretly leads to part of the underdark where a cult of the god of death and greed lives.
Settlement: Drenmawr on the Water, The shining city of Hope
First impressions: There is no sight quite like Drenmawr at dawn. From up atop the green hills that shelter the city, you can see the whole valley laid out before you, shrouded in the morning’s mist with only the crying birds, the tallest towers, and the smoke of chimneys breaking the haze. Then as the sun rises in the horizon, the great citadel catches its light and begins to shine, and from there the whole city begins to resolve, like something out of a dream. Everyone deserves to see this at least once in their life, be they traveler, or Drenmawr local, as it is one of the great beauties of our age.
-A wanderer’s guidebook to the cities of the basilisk coast, 6th edition
Background: Drenmawr is a city built on hope, populated by a resilient people who saw their original home ( Drenmawr on the hill) destroyed in a climatic battle nearly two centuries ago. Rather than scattering to the winds and giving into despair, the survivors of that calamity banded together, and made a coordinated effort to move and rebuild their home, this time several dozen miles downriver in a place that could be better defended in times to come. Drenmawr on the water has indeed weathered several more battles, transforming from simple defensive fort to a prosperous trade settlement made rich by oceanic commerce and the mines in the surrounding hills.
Today the city is known especially for its coppersmiths: producing everything from roofing tiles ( giving the city its distinctive shine), to jewelry, to some of the best cannons and churchbells along the coast.
Adventure Hooks:
Due to a climatic series of misadventures, the new bell that was supposed to grace the city’s largest temple to Pelor has ended up at the bottom of the channel separating the mainland portion of the city from its island counterpart. The Foundry in question is VERY eager to retrieve their very expensive masterwork as otherwise they’ll be on the hook for its replacement, and are willing to hire a group of adventurers to go delving in the deep to do so. To complicate matters further, an avaricious merfolk has claimed the bell for his own with the intent of extorting those who come to retrieve it, and TECHNICLY by rites of salvage, it does belong to him. Will the party manage to pay the the waterfey’s odd and costly price, or will they steal the bell back, possibly incurring some kind of curse along the way?
There’s always something going wrong in the ruins of old Drenmawr, monsters, bandits, a good old fashioned haunting. Since the new city was officially established, there has been a movement to divert some of its resources to the reestablishment of Drenmawr-on-the-Hill. Largely supported by those family's who still own land in the region, these resettlement attempts have repeatedly failed due to mismanagement, or the harsh resistance of whatever forces happen to be squatting in the ruins of the old city. THIS expedition is going to be different, swears the representative of the historical society: a delve into Old Drenmawr’s administrative buildings to recover documents of historical and architectural import. Surely the party can expect less resistance because of the lack of treasure inherent to the site, right? .... right?
A booming mining trade means a prosperous sub industry of surveyers, panners, and prospectors combing through the region to find new veins, or exploring old, disused claims for signs of wealth yet to be uncovered. These subteranian explorers frequently need escort, as the wilds and manmade caverns they frequent are frequently the lair of some sort of vicious creature.
Further Adventures:
After a few expeditions into monster filled caves and abandoned mines, the party has made fast friends with a pair of gnomish brothers by the name of Umni and Jergim Brightseem. These fortune hunting geologists will talk your ear off about claim-rites and oxidization rates of the local strata for hours, but they pay well and have a knack for finding work that’s worth the risk. One day however, Jergim comes to the party hat in hand. Umni has disappeared, taken by something while they were scouting out their next delve into a half collapsed mine known only as “ TheToll Pit” .. and he needs the party to mount a rescue, this time without the promise of commission.
Unbeknownst to the brothers, “The Toll Pit” was owned by Phinneas “Toll-Man” Tollard, a secret priest of Torag, the wormgod, who “mismanaged” the enterprise to extract the most profit while providing sacrifices to his patron. While working his employees like slaves, he engineered frequent collapses, numerous attacks from underdark beasts, and a winding complex of tunnels that took months of effort and many lives for no reward. Though the mine is closed and Phinneas is long dead, his wealthy descendants still keep the faith, and will be displeased to learn that anyone is poking around their family’s secret sacrifice cave.
A generation ago, When work dried up in several other local mines, Phinneas recruited every out of work wretch he could find, packed in as many as he could, then called upon his god to collapse the whole thing on top of them. Dozens were crushed, with hundreds buried alive, and this sacrifice was strong enough to open a permanent portal into the undermark, calling an aspect of the wormgod himself to appear and feast on the trapped and hopeless workers. Though the rite is long over, the crawling king’s passage still marks the Toll Pit, both in the multitude of scattered bones left over from his victims, and the numerous writhing beasts he left behind in his wake. Rescuing Umni is only the first step in delving this massive dungeon, one that waits to swallow the party should they go too far into the dark.
For the Asker in question: Honestly friend, don’t worry about coming up with too many “random” city adventure hooks. You’re a writer, not a computer algorithm, so focus on improving the quality of your adventures rather than the quantity of them. Being part of the adventurers’ guild isn’t THE STORY for your group, it’s only the FRAMING DEVICE for the stories you’re CURRENTLY telling. The trick to making good random encounters isn’t just making MORE of them, it’s mastering the storytelling device of “ while your group was off doing random thing X, they got entangled in ongoing concern Y”. If you’re looking for some randomness, I’d suggest maybe checking out @creativerogues‘s numerous tables, or the dndspeak blog, then using those as the framing device for whatever larger story you’d like to tell.
Tucked away in the center of a mass of storefronts is the city’s Thieves Guild hideout. With a number of hidden entrances tucked away behind false walls and hidden doors, it’s the perfect front for the thieves guild to move in and out without notice.
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IF YOU WISH TO SUPPORT ME AND MY CONTENT YOU CAN FIND ME ON PATREON AND KO-FI BY DONATING YOU GAIN BENEFITS AND ARE ABLE TO VOTE ON PLANESHIFTED CARDS, GETTING A FREE MONTHLY COMMISSION FOR 5$+ PATRONS AND GETTING A FREE COPY OF WHATEVER COMPENDIUMS ARE COMING UP; AS WELL AS EARNING A SPOT ON MY DISCORD SERVER
IF YOU WISH TO SUPPORT ME AND MY CONTENT YOU CAN FIND ME ON PATREON AND KO-FI BY DONATING YOU GAIN BENEFITS AND ARE ABLE TO VOTE ON PLANESHIFTED CARDS, GETTING A FREE MONTHLY COMMISSION FOR 5$+ PATRONS AND GETTING A FREE COPY OF WHATEVER COMPENDIUMS ARE COMING UP; AS WELL AS EARNING A SPOT ON MY DISCORD SERVER
