[xanaxfarts]

A tiny insect clinging to the head of a horned viper

[nattousan]

#ratatouille

[organell]

[furrypost-generator]

furries wake up each day and choose violence 

[felix-the-snow-cheetah]

[anchovy]

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

[anchovy]

I’m so fucked

[jaubaius]

[aeforvirra]

Aw he’s just looking for love

[oarfjsh]

are you his beautiful wife? you are not his beatiful wife? sad snooting

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

oh! the space needle is a cute mascot base for seattle’s MLB team! i wonder how they managed to communicate that in a big foam costume?

oh

oh

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[chilewithcarnage]

when you accidentally type gmaul instead of gmail

[wippdeeznuts]

Not qualified and not paid

[damazcuz]

do you think that I can digging in the ground for tubers? 🥹 me?

[damazcuz]

Thank you everyone, im going to start digging right awa--

She's paying me in woims?

[feaftlikeabeaft]

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

[the-uncanny-dag]

Sister post to The Vitamin

[exhuastedpigeon]

The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?

[parkchanwoohoo]

if u get second job i'll you

YOU'LL ME??

[vintage-tigre]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[narcissistcookbook]

If you have seated tickets at a concert. Don't. Stand. Up. 🫵

seated tickets at concerts are not:

- tickets for people who didn't get standing tickets in time

- standing tickets with the option of having a little rest when you're tired of standing

seated tickets at concerts are:

- for people who aren't physically able to stand for a whole show

- for families who don't want to get separated

- for fucking sitting

if you wanted to standing and got sitting, grow up and sit down

swear to god the next person who stands up in front of me in the seated area is getting a tick on the back of their neck

[vaspider]

Fucking thank you. I literally cannot stand up for more than a few minutes at a time bc of nerve damage from having a tumor removed from inside my spine. The number of shows I've gone to and bought seated tickets and not been able to see...

... yeah.

Not quite as annoying as the bouncer at a comedy show who told me "We don't do that for sold-out shows*" about the ADA request for a booth that I'd been told by email months prior was totally fine and going to happen, but very close.

*I only barely kept myself from saying, "Oh, I didn't realize the Americans With Disabilities Act didn't count for sold out shows," and just went to find the house manager instead. That club fucked up so many times after assuring me I could sit in a booth instead of a wobbly chair that we just stopped going, though.

[aslutsdiiiary]

Me this weekend