2AM CONFESSIONS…
in which an invitation to your house in the night, ends in you and mikasa’s feelings coming to the light…
goth!mikasa x black! hyperfemme reader. college au. dry humping. light smut. slight angst. friends to lovers. miscommunication.
“it was probably nothing. she’s probably bored. she probably can’t reach something again and needs my help.”
more and more reasons came flooding into her mind as mikasa tried to rationalise why you’d called her over to your house at 2am. and she knew your parents weren’t around. this wasn’t the first time this had happened. the two of you hung out alone all the time. you always invited her over for the smallest things, this time was nothing special. right?
but this was the first time you sounded so vulnerable. raw. needy. and even if it wasn’t for the reason she hoped thought it was, she still thought it would be smart to check on you.
when she got to your house, she could already see your warm hello kitty lamp was on in your room. you’d texted her earlier to say the door was open and to meet her there.
“breathe.” she squeezed her eyes shut then inhaled, exhaled.
she opened the door and took the first two steps inside.
once she got inside, her jitters began to fade. she couldn’t hear anything. all the lights downstairs were off. she couldn’t any dramatic yelling or crying. nothing was on fire. so what did you need her for?
as she went up the stairs, she still couldn’t hear anything. her brows furrowed in confusion as to why you were nowhere to be heard or found.
she knocked on your door three times, “y/n? i’m here. you okay?”
the door had opened a crack. it was then she registered everything. the breathy, quick pants, the whines and mewls, the creaking of the bed. your curses under your breath.
slowly, she opened the door. she had to pinch herself three times to really believe she was seeing this before her eyes.
your pillows and stuffed animals were on the floor. the only thing left on your bed was you and a lone pillow. a pillow you were currently riding.
her eyes couldn’t peel away from you. she watched as your eyes rolled back and you tried to find a deeper angle. her attention shifted to the damp spot on your pillow, and your glistening folds that could be seen underneath your skirt.
you rocked your hips back and forth, but mikasa could tell it was futile. poor you were unable to get off. you whined in frustration and tried to pick up the pace, but it was meaninglesss.
you looked so beautiful like this. you were wearing a white crop top and matching frilly mini skirt that was riding up, paired so cutely with your coily hair that was styled in two high puffs.
“you called?”
you looked up and saw mikasa standing in the doorway. her tall frame almost engulfed the entry completely, and her gaze was unshakable. you got off the teddy and hid yourself behind a giant teddy bear you grabbed off the floor.
you couldn’t maintain eye contact in embarrassment, yet also couldn’t deny how your thighs clenched at her walking in on you.
“don’t stop on my account.”
she took two steps into your room before shutting the door behind her. she looked you up and down for a duration that can’t be named, because it was nearly impossible to time forever.
she walked over and sat on the bed next to you, “is this how you say hello now?”
“shut up.” you muttered lowly.
“why’d you call?” she asked.
“huh?”
“why, did you call.” she repeated slowly.
“because…” you said then squeezed your eyes shut, “never mind.”
mikasa narrowed her eyes at you, “you brought me over here at two am just for you to say never mind?”
“you could’ve said no if you wanted to.” you said bluntly. “just forget it. sorry.”
“i don’t accept your apology.”
“i don’t know what you want me to do mikasa!”
“just tell me what you invited me over for.” she crossed her arms.
you sighed then looked down at the bed.
“i need you.”
mikasa, furrowed her brows in curiosity, “need me to do what?”
“to… touch me.”
“what? like a hug? you sad or something?” she probed further.
“no.” you said frustratedly and clarified further, “to… touch touch me.”
oh. mikasa’s heart rate began to pick up now. it was in fact what she was thinking. she clenched the duvet beneath her and clicked her tongue.
“so you want me to fuck you.”
“it sounds bad when you put it like that, but yeah.” you said quietly.
“and what made you think i’ll say yes?” she asked.
you drew circles on your stuffed teddy, “i don’t know…”
a smile grew on mikasa’s face. she pressed her lips together then started humming to herself. god, she thought she was going to go crazy.
“wow.” she laughed then looked at you, “you are so fucking selfish you know that? what, connie didn’t pick up the phone?”
“what does he have to do with this?” you asked lowly.
“he’s your boyfriend y/n he has everything to do with this.” she snapped at you.
“this isn’t about him.” you snapped back.
“no, it’s about you thinking i’ll happily be your little fuck buddy while you still keep him front and centre.” she snapped, “what the fuck do you take me for y/n?”
more and more arguments were happening between the two of you, and it was all because of your boyfriend. your boyfriend that mikasa hated because she didn’t know why you were with him. it was tolerable until recently that you started cancelling plans to be spend time with him.
“i was never going to—” you already regretted ever inviting her here, “it would just be this one time.”
“one time then what? you forget about me and continue on with him while i’m stuck with one fucking night?”
you rolled your eyes, “you’re saying this like you haven’t done it before.”
a silence grew. you looked at her in defiance and mikasa couldn’t believe how serious you were being.
“oh my god. you’re still not over that?”
“i’m just telling the truth. you’ve done it before with sasha and didn’t seem to care.” you shrugged, “in fact it brought the two of you even closer didn’t it?”
she put her hands to her face in exhaustion, “are you mad about me fucking her or do you still resent me for having friends? because i can’t deal with either.”
since college started, it’d been that the more mikasa made friends, the more possessive you became over her. you’d refused to hangout with any of her friends when an offer came, and you made anyone feel unwelcome when they came up to her when the two of you were hanging out.
it was frustrating. college was the first time mikasa was making friends, having been bullied and isolated throughout her time of school, with only you being her friend. now that eren, armin and others had come into the picture, her social life had blossomed in ways her younger self couldn’t even imagine.
but you didn’t seem to like that.
“i don’t resent you for having friends!” you softly exclaimed, “it’s your friends that keep telling you to stop hanging out with me.”
“yeah, because you keep being weird around them and try isolate me from them.” she said blankly.
“just like you do with all of the boyfriends that i’ve had?”
mikasa sighed. it was no secret that she hated all your boyfriends because they couldn’t reach her high ass standards. in her defence, it wasn’t her fault that they were all bums that weren’t even up to par with elementary school kids.
so what if she insulted them, or told them straight up that they weren’t good for you. so what if she pushed the line and kissed you on your neck sensually, even when he was around? so what if her grip on your waist tightened when a guy flirted with you. so what if she deliberately made plans with you on days she knew you had plans with your boyfriend and had you cancel them to be with her?
so what?
“my friends aren’t terrible. your boyfriends have all been terrible.” she said.
“terrible because they aren’t you?”
“you know what yes.” she moved closer, “yes. because if i was your boyfriend, i wouldn’t be 30 minutes late to a date, or leave you to pay the bill. i wouldn’t make you walk home by yourself when it’s 3 in the morning. i would never forget your birthday, and would never get a fucking hotel room to make up for it. i would never be disinterested or make you feel small when you speak.”
you gulped as her eyes remained on you. she moved closer again.
“you know what i would do?” her voice was soft but passionate, “i would love you with my whole fucking mind, body and soul because that’s what you deserve. i would you treat you like a princess because that’s what you are. i’d make love to you and fuck you and make you cum over and over and over, because your pleasure is all that matters to me. you being happy is all that matters to me.”
you were shaking, lost for words at her confession. you tried to look down and avoid her gaze but mikasa only turned your face to look you dead in the eye.
“i really like you, y/n. i like you so much.” she confessed, “but i’m not going to be someone you call at night when someone else gets to have you in the day. it’s all or nothing, if you don’t want that fine. but don’t ask me for one thing if you don’t want to have everything.”
there was nothing more she had to say. mikasa figured that if the friendship would be destroyed, she’d tell you her true feelings before it all went to pieces. she said a quiet goodbye and got up from your bed, ready to leave.
“we broke up.”
mikasa stopped walking and turned back around to face you, “what?”
“me and connie broke up awhile ago.” you admitted, “in fact, he broke up with me.”
“oh my god, what— why didn’t you tell me when it happened?” she asked.
“because i deserved it. he broke up with me because… he knew that i didn’t like him.” your voice got quieter before you continued, “not in the way that i like you.”
mikasa’s heart dropped to her chest. a part of her thought she misheard something and blinked in confusion.
“w-what?”
you sniffled a little, “he was trying to talk to me, but i was too busy texting you to realise he was saying something. then i must’ve laughed at something you said and he made a joke about him being the third wheel. then i got mad. and he got mad. we argued, then talked.”
“about what?” her eyes narrowed and she walked closer to the bed.
“everything. he just kept asking over and over again if i liked you.” you told her, “i wouldn’t say anything. then he talking about how i never liked him and like you, and that it’s not fair to either of you, or myself. it hurt but… everything he said he was true.”
you rested your face on your knees. this was the first time ever you admitted your feelings for mikasa out loud. for so long you tried to keep it in because you thought if you did, the feelings would go away.
you felt the bed dip as mikasa sat next to you. she grabbed the teddy you were holding and looked at it with a small smile.
“i won this for you at the fair last year didn’t i?”
you looked away from her and nodded with a shy, small smile.
“yeah. knocked all the bottles down on the first try. the guy running the booth said we were a cute couple.” she looked at you and tilted her head, “neither of us tried to correct him.”
“that was the day.” you spoke, “when he called us that, i realised i liked it. the thought of being your girlfriend.” you looked at her and gulped, “i think it was that day i finally realised that i like you.”
everything stopped. your best friend’s eyes froze, then she looked at you. you met her gaze, looking at her with certainty about the confession that currently hung in the air.
“you don’t have to say anything back. i know you’re mad at me. i just wanted you to know.” you brought your legs to your chest. “couldn’t hide it any longer.”
deep down you always knew. your whole life mikasa had made you feel a way no one ever had. she was only the only person who you wanted to make proud, the only person who’s validation and opinion you craved, the only person who you wanted to please. the only person who made your heart skip whenever she held your hand, hugged you, kissed your cheek.
she was the only person you ever wanted.
mikasa’s heart was thumping against her chest. she blinked rapidly at the confession before calming herself and looking back into your eyes.
“i’m sorry for everything, i didn’t consider you at all. i’m sorry.” you wiped the tears coming down your face and hid your face in your hands.
you had been quite the serial monogamist throughout your friendship. not that you couldn’t commit, but none of your boyfriends made you feel good. in the end you always felt empty and endlessly tried to find someone who could make you feel something. even though you already had someone who made you feel everything and more.
mid crying, you felt mikasa’s arm wrap around you and pull you into her chest. she wiped your tears and kissed your forehead soothingly.
“you’re not the only one in the wrong. i should’ve told you i like you instead of soft sabotaging all your relationships and insulting your boyfriends.” she admitted. “would’ve made things easier.”
you sighed then laughed, “we made things so difficult. why?”
“it’s not gonna be like that no more though.”
“it won’t?” you looked up at her.
“fuck no, you’re mine now. all i care about now is making you feel happy & loved.” she said then stroked your face gently, “if you want me to.”
you crawled into her lap and buried your face in her neck. your hearts thumped against one another.
“you’ve already made me feel those things mika.” you said softly.
you moved back and straddled her properly. her hands found your waist and held on firmly, like if she loosened her grip this moment would be over. she needed assurance this was real. that what was happening was real and not the dream she’d been dreaming for years.
you giggled at her dazed expression, “i’m not going anywhere mikasa.”
her eyes darted between your eyes and lips. you pressed your lips together as she pulled you closer on her lap and leaned in, closing the distance between your faces.
“no, not after today you’re not.”
she rested her lips on top of yours. it took you 2 seconds to realise what was happening, then you shut your eyes and kissed back.
the kiss was slow and soft. mikasa cupped your face and stroked your face. you melted into the embrace, wrapping your arms around her as you two got further entangled into one another.
her tongue slithered across your lips acting as permission, and you granted it. the kiss grew deeper. your tongues swirled around each other, you could feel mikasa’s lips curl into a smile as she began to kiss and suck on your neck.
“ i want you to be mine.” she said between neck kisses, “no more games. no more teasing, hiding. no more stupid fucking boyfriends. just you and me, alright?”
“i only want you, mika.” you ran your hands through her hair and hummed in pleasure, “w-want you so much.”
she tugged on the waistband of your skirt, “yeah? you wear this for me?”
you nodded, and she smiled. “you look adorable. is it okay if i just…”
her hands went under your skirt and cupped your cunt, feeling your drenched panties. she pulled them to the side and drew slow, small circles on your clit.
you squeezed your eyes shut and buried your face back in her neck. shyly, you rocked your hips back and forth against her hand. mikasa could hear your quiet little moans in her ear.
“already so wet baby.” she said in admiration and pressed harder against the sensitive bud, earning a whine from you.
“so perfect.” she whispered then looked at you, “gonna give you what you want, but for that i need you to do what i say and listen to me. okay?”
you nodded. she kissed your forehead and stroked your cheek, “gonna help my sweet girl, all mine now.”
“a-all yours.”
she pecked your lips then smiled in anticipation.
“good. now get on the bed.”
a/n: my eyes are burning and my hands hurt from typing but i hope everyone enjoys :)) part two soon!
