quick little ballpoint x ftm!reader smut ficlet while it's still fresh in my mind. low effort bc i'm tired and should probably be sleeping rather than writing smut. see my most recently answered asks for context... or not. i'm not your dad.
"you, uh... you doing alright?"
"o-oh yeah! yeah, i'm fine! yep! totally! i just... i-i need a minute."
to be honest, you weren't sure how ballpoint even managed to get this far. the little bot had managed to sink himself halfway down onto your tdick, but going any further seemed to be quite the challenge for him. his thighs were quivering as he held himself up, and his tiny servos gripped onto your finger as if he were holding on for dear life.
"are you sure?" you asked him, hoping that he wasn't in pain. yeah, it definitely felt fantastic to have your tdick in a hole that tight, but it didn't mean much if he wasn't enjoying it, too. "look, we don't have to do this if-"
"i wanna do it!" ballpoint cut in, his forehead scrunched up as he tried to concentrate on the task at hand. "i know i can. it's just... i-i mean, you're so big, and i've never done something like this before, so..."
ballpoint took a deep breath, clearly trying to steel his nerves. trying to reassure him, you gently rubbed the side of his helm with your thumb and said, "just take it slow, alright? don't rush yourself."
a shaky smile spread over ballpoint's cute little face as he leaned into your touch. "thanks," he said with a nervous laugh. "i can do this. i know i can."
after a moment's rest, ballpoint readjusted in your hand and slowly sank himself down the rest of the way, letting out adorably pathetic little huffs and whines. you kept as still as possible despite the urge to thrust up into him the rest of the way - the last thing you wanted to do was somehow hurt him during his first time.
with one last little quiet sob, ballpoint managed to sink himself down all the way, his spindly legs shaking beneath him. he took a moment to collect himself, his death grip on your finger unwavering as he let himself get used to the stretch.
"you feeling ok?" you asked him, continuing to stroke his helm. ballpoint whimpered as he shifted his hips back and forth.
"'s so big," he slurred, somehow sounding like he was close to overloading already. "primus, 's like you're in my spark..."
ohhhh, the urge to fuck him stupid was getting harder and harder to resist. watching him squirm as he rocked his hips, you wondered just how long it would take for him to overload, or how many overloads he could take.
after a minute, ballpoint nodded and said with whatever determination he still had to muster, "a-alright, i'm ready."
"you sure?" you asked, which made him nod vigorously.
"yeah," he said, sounding out of breath already. "please, just... f-fuck me. i can take it."
that was all the permission you needed. readjusting your grip on him, you slowly pulled out until just the tip was inside, then rutted back up into him hard, making ballpoint cry out, "s-so big! too big!!"
"want me to stop?" you quickly asked, but ballpoint wasn't having it.
"NO!" he yelled, surprisingly loud for such a small bot. "i can take it! i can take it! pleeeease, pleasepleaseplease, harder-!!"
Tags: He/they reader, Period bullshit oOo scary, minor pregnancy references, Period sex, established relationship, use of good boy, Blitzwing has issues with human stuffs-like doors, the way to cure your partner of evil periods is to knock them up obviously, Blitzwing is impulsive and has a moral obligation against clothes, slight crack, Blitzwing being a FREAK, kink awakening, that kink is Blitzwing treating you like an iron flavored gusher, based off my own personal hell tm, safe and no one here is sane but this is consensual, no clit only dicc in this house, some anatomical words used for AFAB anatomy, he/they pussy supreme, i keep making this all sappy because that's how we fuck in this house- full of love and stupidity, 2nd person pov, each personality is differentiated mostly by text font, Icy is normal Hot is bold and rando is italic, angry personality doesn't fuck-he'll break your pelvis, this was longer than intendedā¦oh boy
You lay in agony as you curl in on yourself, why did this have to happen to you? You've been stuck inside your house for the past three days dong nothing but eating your heart out through steak and ice cream. Taking solace in the fact that you weren't obligated to wear pants. In so much pain you could hardly sit up straight, and incidentally, accidentally ghosting your boyfriend Blitzwing in the process. You didn't mean to, and you certainly didn't think he'd do anything crazy about it.
But this is Blitzwing we're talking about, if he had a middle name it would be crazy. And if he wasn't crazy before, he's definitely crazy for you.
Even curled up you shudder at the godforsaken feeling of a dreaded leak running down your leg. You were just about to make the agonizing trip to the restroom to change your pad before hearing an insistent rapping at your front door. You groan and drag your feet to the door before opening it and seeing none other then Blitzwing.
"Oh, hey Blit-"
"Where ze frag have you been?!" Blitzwing nearly breaks the door frame with how hard he grips it as he pushes his was into your home.
"Woah woah! Blitz, the door! I- god I'm fine I'm just under the weather!"
He slams the door shut before his face spins and he sighs looking down at you.
"You know I worry about you Meine Liebe, you veren't even responding to my messages. For all i knew ze Autobots could have gotten to you and-"
His icy cold stare drifts down to your pantsless legs and the bright red streak of agony making its way to your ankle.
"What, ze- FRAG! Why are you bleeding!!"
Blitzwing frantically reaches to cradle you but you narrowly manage to step back. You'd given him a very dry and simple explanation of periods before but you may or may not have divulged all of the details.
"Hell- Blitzwing, babe I'm fine, its just my stupid ass periods. You know, the thing I told you about likeā¦three months ago?" You huff.
"That doesn't explain anything and you know zhat!"
"Well best I can explain is my stupid uterus is mad I'm not pregnant so now I gotta shed the stupid lining and do the whole thing again next month"
He stares at you for a moment as you storm off to the bathroom to actually clean yourself up, you only manage to clean the leak up to your mid thigh before Blitzwing busts down your bathroom door.
"DUDE!"
"I've decided to cure your periods!" He says so enthusiastically you would have thought solved world hunger or something.
Before you have a chance to respond, Blitzwing steals a few towels and picks you up and carries you to your bedroom.
"The fuck do you mean 'cure my periods', Blitz?"
"You said your utie thingy is mad at you for not being pregnant, so I will be making you pregnant obviously- somehow." He's acting like he didn't just say the most batshit insane thing you'd heard this week as he lays the towels he gathered on your bed.
You stutter over what to say for a minute, absolutely flabbergasted by the rational that ran through his head.
"That is not how that worksā¦" Though right now the premise of being railed right now sounds good "..but pop off I guess."
He gently lies you down and his servos travel over the tops of your thighs as he leans over you to whisper into your ear.
"You'll let me help you, won't you Meine Liebe?" He says with a gentle nibble to your earlobe.
Oh how can you resist him when he's so sincere, and also strange, odd combo of endearment but that little voice in the back of your head nags at you.
"Of course dear, only as far as you wanna go, most would typically find this stuff grossā¦"
He chuckles and travels down to your thighs, holding your shacking legs apart as he places a kiss on your knee.
"Disgusting? Meine Liebe, you're far from that- you smell quite delicious~"
Before you can get to mushy over his words he licks the remaining stripe of blood from your inner thigh, stopping shy of your boxers. Your back arching at the sensation of his abnormally long glossa running along your inner thigh.
"You taste divine, my little snack. Makes me want it straight from ze source."
He paws at the hem of your boxers, optics pleading with you to give him what he wants, and who are you to deny such a cute face?
You shyly pull down your boxers, cringing slightly at the sensation of a completely soaked pad detaching itself from your labia. And you barely have time to properly take them off before they're thrown across the room and Blitzwing digs in, lapping at your sex like a starved mech. Licking at your cock a bit before diving back into his meal.
Sure, you've touched yourself before on your period, but this felt SO much better, Bliltzwing has to hold your hips down as you thrust up into his intake as his glossa tunnels into your insides. Everything was so sensitive and you were losing your mind over it.
He seemed determined to make you cum and get more of what may unfortunately (?) be his new favorite treat. His thumb moving to you cock as he rubs and strokes it til you're seeing stars and screaming his name as he loudly feasts on his reward.
You whimper as he pulls back at the lack of that delicious fullness, but you're not left waiting for long as he pulls you to the edge of the bed and situates himself between your legs with his spike rearing and ready to go. His blissed out face is downright sinful as he licks the remnants of his crimson snack from his face.
You want to feel disgusted but right now all you can think of is getting fucked so good cramps won't even bother to show up anymore.
Blitzwing leans down, switching to his icier personalty as he locks lips with you in a tender kiss before pinning your hands above your head with one of his servos.
"Now, Meine Liebe, are you ready to take everything I've got like ze good boy you are?"
You nod, words lost to you after that mind shattering orgasm as you breathe heavily.
Blitzwing trails his other hand down to your cunt, using a thumb to spread you open he grinds forward a few times before finally hitting his target and sinking deep into you in an agonizingly slow drive of his hips. You suck in a breath as the initial stretch of taking him somehow feeling more overwhelming than usual as his spike buries itself inside you.
"Are you doing alright, I'm not hurting you am I?"
Blitzwing cups your face as we wipes a tear you didn't know you shed, concern written on his face.
You glance off to the side, feeling eye contact in this moment might kill you.
"I-I'm okay, just a bit moreā¦sensitive down there is allā¦"
You trail off, god saying it out loud makes this just as embarrassing as it is hot.
He smirks before leaning in and kissing you with fervor.
He groans at the tightness of you enveloping him, no matter how many time you two have slept together he still can't get over how good you make him feel, and he's vocal about it too. When he finally bottoms out Blitzwing breaks the kiss and lets out the most delectable moan, making pride swell up in your chest, because you did that.
He gives you a moment to compose yourself before gently pulling out and giving a tentative thrust that sets your nerves alight with a delicious mix of pleasure and the gentle sting of pain that is quickly fading. You wrap your legs best you can around Blitzwing's waist as you encourage him to keep going, completely lost in how new and exciting this sensation is.
Blitzwing doesn't keep you waiting long before he sets a steady pace, he's treating you gentler than usual- which you do appreciate- but the steady gentle thrusts are quickly becoming not enough. With a groan you struggle a bit in his hold at the lack of stimuli.
"Bliiitzzz, you don't have to treat me like I'm gonna break."
He lets go of you wrists and trails his servos to your waist, looking down at you with an expression akin to that of a sad dog. But before he can argue a defense of his gentle treatment, you cut him off by grabbing his chin to make direct eye contact.
"If you really wanna save me from my periods you're gonna have to try harder than this to breed me and thoroughly knock me up."
Blitzwing's eye goes wide and his jaw drops before he pulls himself together, wasting no time in throwing your legs over your shoulders and thrusting hard right where you needed to make your eyes roll back in pleasure.
"Meine Liebe, the things you do to me, by the allspark."
Picking up the pace of his thrusts you feel the sticky mix of your blood and the copious amount of pre-fluid coating your ass and thighs, thank god he brought towels for the bed. You should feel gross about it, but the fact he's doing this with you at this time has the knot in your gut tightening.
Blitzwing locks lips with you again as you wrap your arms around his neck and one of his servos travels down to your dick. He rubs it in tight circles as his thrusts become more erratic and sloppy, his other servo grasping you hip so tightly you're sure it'll bruise. But then again, when don't you end up bruised after fucking this mech?
With one good jerk to your dick and a few hard drives of his hips, the knot building up inside you finally snaps and Blitzwing bottoms out once more as he pumps you full with his transfluid. You break from the kiss breathless and moaning as his head drops to your shoulder as he mumbles some unintelligible things as he gently thrusts making sure you take his transfluid nice and deep. You're pretty sure you heard something along the lines of you being 'a good boy' and 'a good carrier' or something like that.
You feel like every muscle in your body has been dedicated to pleasure as the two of you bask in the afterglow of your coupling for a moment, both on cloud nine. With a kiss to your neck Blitzwing, with a few more thrusts for good measure, slowly sits up and withdraws his spike with an obscenely wet pop. He stares down at the beautiful mess you've made, crimson and florescent pink leak out of you, and with two fingers he crassly shoves what's leaked out back inside of you.
"I've got to make sure it takes, no?"
He smirks at your quivering form as he licks his mingers clean, slick with sweat and completely fucked out of your mind. So unbelievably handsome.
"I'll keep you updated on that." You chuckle as he peppers you with kisses.
"Now, lets get you cleaned up Meine Liebe, stay here."
Blitzwing gets up and rushes to the bathroom where you hear the sound of opening towel cabinets and the faucet running. You flop you head down on the bed, you're definitely gonna have to ask him to do this again. Or he'll ask to snack on you like a pack of gushers, whichever happens first.
Soft Au Beach day Hae me thinking of a stupid senario
Some bot (Thinkin Swerve or Rumble or something) is super pumped , their expecting their conjunx to be in something like some of the other feminine humans are wearing that shows skin.
Only for their caretaker to run out lookin like Adam Sandler, cheese patterned shirt and khakis or swim trunks
-sincerely, trans man who wants to look like Adam Sandler XD
As someone that usually wears shorts and coverups at the beach, I can understand this xD (though Iām usually there solo and donāt want to risk being harassed)
Soft AU- Beach- Skin
Swerve x Reader
ā¢ This is quite possibly the most magical place on this planet despite the lies of that creepy, cartoon mouse. Humans wearing little to nothing and frolicking in the surf, playing volleyball, and laying out in the sun. Itās perfect. Almost. Spotting you and a group of other caretakers hiding in the shade of a big tent, he stares at what youāre wearing. Because where are the scanty, tight coverings that barely cover anything? Thatās what every beach episode heās ever watched had promised. Exotic, alien sex appeal and frolicking. Youāve got a blanket over your legs and a book. At the beach.
ā¢ Looking up when you spot movement, you smile at your assigned mech walking over. Even as he holds his hands out, vaguely gesturing at you to make your brows lift. āWhat?ā You ask tiredly, knowing him and knowing how weird he can sometimes be with his strange preconceived ideas. Youāre pretty sure this trip was his idea. Heās definitely whined the loudest about it. Going on about camaraderie and sexual tension. āWhy are you dressed like my holomatter avatar?ā He finally asks, looking so miserable you almost laugh. Guessing he wasnāt expecting the loud, Hawaiian shirt and shorts. āIāve had sun poisoning before and itās a hard pass,ā you say, attention dropping back to your book.
ā¢ āDonāt you want to at least frolick in the waves?ā He asks weakly, gesturing at the ocean and your brows lift as another caretaker snorts. āNo, but you go ahead and Iāll make sure to watch.ā And heās just staring at you as you stare back. āIāll even record you if you want,ā you add and he just slumps down into his knees. Before slowly and dramatically collapsing with his face in your lap. Whatever he groans is muffled against your thigh. āSwerve,ā you sigh as he clears his vents.
ā¢ It feels like an obscenity. Like a betrayal. Youāre not only wearing that, but youāre not even going to play in the ocean and get wet so your clothes cling distractingly to you? Feels one of your hands rubbing his helm as he lays there. āIf it means so much to you, Iāll go get in the ocean with you. Knee deep,ā you say and his head lifts enough to see your face. āShoulder deep,ā he counters and your brow furrows. āKnee deep isnāt really swimming. Itās a beach cop out,ā he tries and you press your lips into a thin line, but slowly nod even though your expression says that you donāt believe him.
ā¢ āAlright,ā you sigh and you nearly fall on your face when he shoves to his peds and grabs at your wrist to drag you. Tripping over the blanket youād had over your legs, you let him pull you toward the ocean. Why is this so important to him? āBy any chance are you wearing darker colored under coverings?ā He asks as he drags you into the waves. What? Flustered as he grins and drags you in, you realize heās asking if your swim bottoms are darker than your light colored shorts so theyāll show through when wet. Dammit. āSwerve,ā you groan as a wave nearly knocks you down.
Apparently a lot of people get dialogue punctuation wrong despite having an otherwise solid grasp of grammar, possibly because theyāre used to writing essays rather than prose. I donāt wanna be the asshole who complains about writing errors and then doesnāt offer to help, so here are the basics summarized as simply as I could manage on my phone (ādialogue tagā just refers to phrases like āhe said,ā āshe whispered,ā āthey askedā):
āFor most dialogue, use a comma after the sentence and donāt capitalize the next word after the quotation mark,ā she said.
āBut what if youāre using a question mark rather than a period?ā they asked.
āWhen using a dialogue tag, you never capitalize the word after the quotation mark unless itās a proper noun!ā she snapped.
āWhen breaking up a single sentence with a dialogue tag,ā she said, āuse commas.ā
āThis is a single sentence,ā she said. āNow, this is a second stand-alone sentence, so thereās no comma after āshe said.āā
āThereās no dialogue tag after this sentence, so end it with a period rather than a comma.ā She frowned, suddenly concerned that the entire post was as unasked for as it was sanctimonious.
So Ballboint is probably like 2-3 ft tall compared to the person guy in the comic who Iāll say is like 5ā5ā for simplicity sake. But that also means he canāt really be human pen sized (rip) but itās still pretty funny thinking of a human reader first meeting him looking at Ballpoint for a solid few minutes before asking what in the hell he transforms into before he goes
āI ,Ballpoint, turn into the mightiest weapon, one foretold by your earth sayings!ā Blah blah blah blah
And the name gives it away like, oh , ballpoint, like the pen. You get it.
Tags: pwp, plot is a stretch, merformers, FTM reader, cal also be read as masc leaning GN reader, too many H2O references, medium burn, idiots in love, fake dating, hah more like fake mating- no that didn't work, all spicier tags on Ao3
Chapter 1: No Ordinary Boy
a/n: if anyone gets this reference you get head
The beach was warm and quiet, nothing but the sound of the waves crashing against the sand. Its course texture bringing comfort to you as you burry your feet in.
This was a smaller, lesser known beach in the area, full of tide pools and shallow sea caves. You'd come here to see what the tide dragged in. Hopping from one tide pool to the next you observe the vibrant wildlife, starfish, sea slugs, anemones, crabs, muscles, urchins, they were all so beautiful.
After thoroughly enjoying your tide pool adventure you set off to take a swim. Taking off your satchel and swim coverings, donning your snorkel and goggles before heading into the crisp waters ahead.
The water covers you in a blanket of comfort, the coolness refreshing on such a sweltering day. You spend a good while just swimming around near the shore before swimming out to explore some sea caves. You'd done this many times before, seeking out the familiar caves when you come across an entrance you didn't recognize. The entrance shrouded by by sea grass and covered with interesting crystalline formations.
Curiosity got the better of you as you peak your head into the cave entrance seeing a pool of light a short distance away. Deeming it safe enough to explore, you take the plunge and start swimming towards the light.
The tunnel is oddly barren of life, barely even any sea plants, you drag your hands along the sea floor grounding yourself before reaching the light. Exiting the tunnel leads to a large basin of water glittering with light, you surface to see you're still in the cave the walls crystalline and reaching high. At the top you see the source of the light, a large circular gap in the ceiling of the cave.
"Woah, how have I never seen this place before?" You glide around looking around the cave.
Your wondrous stupor is interrupted by the sun slowly being shadowed out, assuming it was some particularly dense clouds you look up. What you see was not clouds, the moon had come out to eclipse the sun, you struggle to remember if the news said anything about this astrological event happening today.
No. No one anywhere had said anything about this. As the moon settles fully in front of the sun you feel your skin crawl. You want to turn tail and run, but you're frozen treading water feeling like the moon is getting closer. Closer. And closer.
You lose consciousness and sink to the bottom of the cave, the last bits of air knocked out of your lungs as you hit the cave floor.
Your unconsciousness is only momentary as you gasp for air, only to receive a lung full of salty ocean water. Coughing to clear your lungs, but no matter how much you cough it fells like your pushing air out instead of water.
Trying to swim up to the surface raised another problem, you couldn't swim. Your legs wouldn't move. You look down to asses what could have possibly caught your legs, only to find a shimmering scaled tail in their place. Waving lines of greens, reds, and blues cascade up your scales trailing up your midsection and arms. Your arms were adorned with small round fins matching your tail.
Your tail.
This could not be real. Everything you knew said that this should be impossible, you've probably died and gone to some sort of oceanic afterlife. You flick your tail, feeling the grit of the sand in every crevice.
This was most definitely real.
You needed to leave this freaky cave while you can, you slowly try to swim. Its an odd feeling, not unnatural with your new body, but new and unfamiliar. You shakily swim your way back through the cave and back to the open ocean, making a b-line to the shore. The sandy shell filled surf eases your anxiety, but you sit there contemplating. Should you risk finding out if you can or can't breathe on land just to get your bag?
You had packed lightly today, only bringing your clothes, a multi tool, and a pocket knife. You knew your life would suck ass if you didn't have any tools on you, you don't know how to 'rough it' without any. Especially in the ocean. So with your nerves mildly settled, you brave it out and start crawling out of the surf to reach your treasure.
The air is hot and sticky compared to the temperate water, feeling itchy but not suffocating. Slowly crawling to your satchel, you take out the useless clothes, leaving just your tools in the thick canvas bag. You now had one goal until you can find a way to turn back, survive.
You spend your first day surveying the area for any place to hunker down. The evil moon cave was out of the question, as when you'd gone back to grab your snorkel it had completely disappeared. A whole cave, gone like it had never been there in the first place. You chose a small cave you'd swam through a few times, taking a small amount of comfort in the familiarity of the cave.
Food was your next priority, the idea of eating raw fish not sitting well with you. Sitting on the sea floor debating on which plant to attempt to eat, sea grass or kelp.
Probably kelp, yeah kelp is good.
The taste was umami and was definitely not lacking in salt , almost as if you'd taken a bite straight out of the ocean,but it wasn't bad. You could probably handle eating this for an extended period of time. But you'd would only last so long just eating kelp. That was an issue you'd tackle when it came to it.
You gather a few nice pieces of kelp and swim back to the small cave you now call home, unfortunately. Honestly maybe this new fishy life won't be so bad.
You were wrong, this sucked.
You missed your bed, the soft blankets, actual food. Youād definitely lost a stupid amount of weight in just one week!What was worse was the anxious feeling in your chest to leave this beach.
Youād tried to beach yourself, not in the suicidal way air seemed safe, just to see that if you dried yourself off youād return to normal like that one mermaid show you had watched as a child.
That didnāt work out, and you now know how a beached whale feels cooking in the hot sun.
The days went on as youād tried everything to stay alive or turn back to normal. However that deep pulling feeling settled in your bones, urging you to move to an unknown destination.
Youād initially ignored the pull, but it had gotten far too strong, keeping you awake at night. So with what little resolve you had left, you gathered your things and swam toward the unknown.
Summary: y/n and knockout are getting frisky while Breakdown's in the (willing) cuck chair, Knockout wants some good head but y/n is trying to gently suggest otherwise.
tags: crack treated seriously, sorta valveplug, reader can't give head, small mouth gang, attempted valve eating, KOBD+the freakay ass human they found in a hole, idiots in love, KO and reader bein small and freakay, gagging, mentions of vomit, KO kinda ruins the mood.
Your hands roam over Knockout's gorgeous frame, a privilege only one other has. Said other is sat in an oversized desk chair as he watches the two of you, one servo gently teasing his already pressurized spike.
You press kisses to Knockout's frame, slowly trailing down from his face to his modesty panels. Rubbing gentle circles into the sensitive seams in his thighs you look up to meet his optics.
"Mind if I have a taste, love?"
Knockout shudders as you place a kiss on his modesty panel hiding his sweet valve from you, its cute how he tries to act all in charge and suave when all he wants to do is melt into the gentle caresses.
"Actuallyā¦" He starts, you hear the sound of a very different panel opening as you view of him is obscured by his pressurized spike, "I was thinking you could try something new."
Looking between Knockout's impressive spike and said bot, you steeled your nerves and tentatively gripped the base and gestured to a point not even midway down.
"Alright, but don't expect me to get past here." You say flatly.
"Oh? You never know dear, I've learned humans are quiteā¦malleable." He purrs as you furrow your brows at him.
"Knockout, darling, light of my life, if anything- and I mean ANYTHING- touches the back of my throat I will barf." Your scrunched up face seemed to get the message through to him, but just in case Breakdown says his two cents.
"I'd listen to them, dear. Wouldn't want your finish to get allā¦grossā¦" Breakdown fumbles his words a bit trying not to be offensive towards his tiny partner.
"Yes, yes, I get it." Knockout dramatically sighs as he brings a servo to cup your chin.
"I'll play nice."
You quirk a brow, an odd feeling not quite sitting well with you, but you elect to ignore it as you go to lick a stripe from the base of Knockout's spike to the tip. Making sure you give his stunning red biolights extra attention as you lavish his spike with sloppy kisses, slowly trailing your way to the tip before taking it into your mouth.
You can only manage about three to four inches before you know you're as far as you can safely go. Glancing up at Knockout as he tangles his digits in your hair, you set a steady pace as you work what you can't fit with your hand. And for awhile, Knockout enjoys the warmth of your mouth, cooing praises and promises of what's to come.
Then on one downward stroke, Knockout fists your hair and shoves a few more inches of his spike into your mouth. The reaction is instant as you gag on the intrusion and shoot up coughing and gagging. You cover your mouth as Knockout looks on in horror before shoving you back.
"Oh not, do NOT purge your tanks on me interface panel I swear to Primus!"
You only glare at him through your recovering retches as Breakdown struggles not to laugh.
"You asshole," you rub your throat as you try to talk with varying levels of success, "I TOLD you that would happen."
He has the audacity to look offended before pouting, "I thought you could handle it like other humans seem to!"
"But they did tell you, and what did we say about using human interface videos as a point of reference?" Breakdown butted in, walking over to check on you.
"Yeah, that's it I'm putting my pants back on" Huffing as you stand up and walk to your little corner of the berth much to Knockout's chagrin and Breakdown's amusement.
"Wait, no! I'll be better this time!" Knockout pouts.
"You had your chance, I'm tagging out, if you want head ask Breakdown."
summary: Sunstreaker tries to get reader's attention, but reader is dense as a tungsten cube <3
A/N: this is a gift for a friend, and also this may be VERY OOC because I know fuck all about Sunstreaker. This will suck absolute bolts
Word count: 843
Tags: fluff, idiot in love, short fic, inter-species misunderstandings, probs OOC, 2nd person pov, the fuck is a consistent pov i'll fix it later if its ass, human reader, fem reader, no beta read, I wrote this half asleep at 12 am, idk how to end this.
Sunstreaker sat in his habsuite with his helm in his servos. How long had it been, two- no three deca-cycles. Three deca-cycles of trying win her attention. None of his usual tricks worked, is there some way organics flirt that he's not privy too. He groans in frustration, this kind of stuff was so much easier of Cybertron.
Earlier in the orbital-cycle he'd seen Reader hanging around outside the Ark after returning from scouting with Sideswipe. Drifting to a manageable speed and transforming gracefully as he greeted her with his usual bravado. Her only reaction was a short 'wow' before greeting him and his twin. Usually a stunt like that would have had a lady swooning. He pretended that your lack of reaction to his fabulous entrance didn't hurt as the three of you started casual conversation.
A few cycles later he'd invited her to spectate a race between him and Jazz, she had to notice him now. His superior speed and panache was unmatched! She had agreed to meet them and Sideswipe ended up tagging along too, claiming that someone had to officiate it. Fantastic. At Sideswipe's signal the race began, Sunstreaker sped off at break neck pace. He made sharp turns, drifted where he thought made his painjod catch perfectly in the sun, surely this would get her fawning over him.
Reader cheered as the race went on and applauded at its end.
"That was epic! Thanks for inviting me Sun, we should invite more racers next time!" ouch.
Okay new plan, be forward. Clearly gestures aren't getting through to her, so direct flirting it is.
You were sitting in the Ark working on some fun hobby you'd picked up when Sunstreaker saunters up to you, leaning on the table you're working on.
"So, sweetspark, are you doing anything later?" He leans close with a smirk, observing what you're doing.
"Oh, I'm just gonna go home after I finish this up. Its movie night with the girls." His smirk falters a bit as he mutters a quiet "ah, I see" before he clears his throat.
"Well, how about tomorrow you and me go out for a drive, just the two of us?" He suggests.
"That sounds fun, but didn't you say you don't like humans in your interior though?" Tilting your head as he tenses for a moment.
"Ah well, you're an exception, sweetspark." Oh, is he saying what you think he's saying.
"I didn't know you though of me so highly Sun"
"Well, obviously I li-"
"I'm so happy you think of me as a close friend!"
You get the slight inclination that you've said something wrong as Sunstreaker takes a deep breath before continuing with a strained smile,
"Yesā¦ one of my closestā¦friends."
The two of you talk about the plan tomorrow before Sunstreaker seems to sulk off to his room. He's probably just tired.
This song and dance continues for three whole deca-cycles before Sideswipe becomes sick of his brother's shit. He walks into Sunstreaker's habsuite determined to get his brother out of this pathetic losing streak. Sunstreaker was on his berth helm in servos as he mopes, which was not at all like him.
"Sun-"
"Get out of my room!" Sunstreaker snaps.
"I'm trying to help you dumaft!"
"Yeah? Well I've tried everything, I'm starting to think she doesn't like meā¦" He puts his helm back in his servos
"Sun, look at me. How about you just, oh I don't know, TELL HER FLAT OUT." Sideswipe says frankly.
Sunstreaker opens his intake to respond in some pessimistic way before pausing. He can practically see the gears turn in Sunstreaker's helm as realization dawns upon him.
"Oh. Oh for frag's sake"
Sunstreaker swaggers up to you as you arrive at the Ark. He barely gives you a moment to greet him before he blurts out.
"Reader, I like you." You smile
"Awe, I like you too, You're such a great friend to hang around with." He sighs.
"No, I like you. I've been flirting with you for the past three deca-cycles."
You stare blankly up at him for a minute, and he's worried he may have been too forward. and that's crazy coming from him.
"You've been flirting with me?!" You shout in bewilderment. Oh Primus, you genuinely didn't know, did you?
"Yes, but it seemed like I wasn't doing enough."
"You were flirting with me, and I didn't notice?" You looked to him slack jawed before covering your face.
"Oh god, this is embarrassing." You muttered
He sighs in relief, a warm smile crossing his faceplate.
"At least I wasn't doing anything wrong. If I'd known how impervious you were to my attempts to make you swoon, I'd have been more blunt with you sooner."
You were still wrapping your head around how you'd missed the, now in hindsight, blatant attempts at flirting with her.
"So, do I win a date or?"
"L-like a friend date, or a date date?" You half smile
Sunstreaker sighs and shakes his head "And this is why I love you."
So Ballboint is probably like 2-3 ft tall compared to the person guy in the comic who Iāll say is like 5ā5ā for simplicity sake. But that also means he canāt really be human pen sized (rip) but itās still pretty funny thinking of a human reader first meeting him looking at Ballpoint for a solid few minutes before asking what in the hell he transforms into before he goes
āI ,Ballpoint, turn into the mightiest weapon, one foretold by your earth sayings!ā Blah blah blah blah
And the name gives it away like, oh , ballpoint, like the pen. You get it.
Imagine being on T and being in a relationship with Ballpoint.
Spice under cut
So Ballpoint is like 2ft tall , built like one of those thermos water botles , and scrawny all over. Imagine getting intimate with him, and he feels all ashamed of his tiny spike, thinking thereās no way heād be enough to pleasure you. Then boom, you whip out your t-dick and heās gobsmacked. Inferiority complex, destroyed by t-dick. And you on the other hand receive the best head known to man.
And since t-dick isnāt MASSIVE (Iām being kind ur getting like 2-3 inches) it wonāt absolutely destroy his intake or valve, and believe me heās BOUNCING on that shit, crazy style. You gotta hold back from fucking up into him because you donāt wanna break him.
The ego boost of riding you tip your stupid is almost as good as your t-dick hitting his ceiling node.
Can you tell Iām absolutely insane over size difference?
Bro, can I have Optimus sleepy snuggles after a long day doing.. whatever it is he does normally while female reader is on her period and has been snuggled up all day on the berth and he just now got a chance to pamper her and show her some love.
š„ŗ šš
(I don't care if it's headcanons, a oneshot, a drabble, or whatever, you know me.)
Better than Paracetamol
G1 Optimus Prime x Fem Reader
Tags: period comfort, tooth rotting fluff, afab reader with she/her pronouns, *points* this is targeted /hj, optimus is gonna fight periods for hurting women /j, Optimus being the hottest man ever, He loves his wife, technically not wife *yet* but practically you are his wife, he will consider robing a store for chocolate or her other cravings for her, but he won't, no beta we die like my 2010 honda civic.
A/N: I haven't had a period in over a year atp (thanks to babyn't, i am not pragnant nor on hrt) so I'm mostly writing on the distant memory of agony.
Fourteen hours, thirty minutes, and forty-two seconds. That's how long Optimus had been away from his dearest Y/n. It pained him to leave you all by yourself earlier that morning, but duty calls. He made sure you had some of what you told him were, and he quotes, "The bare essentials to survive this curse upon my mortal flesh." Though when he had shown concern over this you'd brushed him off with a dismissive wave and sent him off.
He'd assumed you would have been fast asleep by the time he finally got back to his habsuite, but there you were awake as ever and shivering under your mountain of pillows and blankets.
Optimus slowly walks to his berth to sit down by your side. He graces his servo over your side as you curl into yourself more.
"Have you eaten well today, drank appropriate amounts of water, or taken your pain medications?" He asks as he begins to slowly remove you from your burrito of blankets.
"ā¦I had some foodā¦pain meds suck andā¦waterā¦no, and before you ask, yes I got a fresh pad." You mumble and squirm out of your burrito, it was both too hot and too cold.
Optimus shakes his head, he loves you so much, but just wishes you'd take care of your wonderful self. While he can't make you take any pain medicine, he can help you where he can. He reaches to his desk to grab the small bottle of water for you, which you happily take.
"Had a long day out there?"
"Longer than you can imagine without you, dear." You can feel his sheer adoration for you seep through his words as he takes the bottle and returns it to its place on the desk. He scoops you into his warm arms and settles the two of you into a comfortable position.
You shift in his hold to reach maximum comfort, being in his metal arms shouldn't feel this comfortable, but you'd be lying if you said it wasn't. Optimus retracts his battle mask to plant a kiss atop your head, how'd you get so lucky?
You've got a whole space ship full of friends, a loving boyfriend, what else could you want? One of Optimus' warm servos rubs at your side, a silent gesture he's picked up after realizing that you did tend to use him like a living heating pad to ask if you needed the toasty comfort. You grab his servo and place if over your stomach with a sigh of relief at the heat and gentle ministrations of his thumb on you belly.
Exhaustion finally setting in as your small body as all the discomfort of they day is washed away by Optimus' loving embrace. He smiles down at you as you finally drift off to sleep.
Beachcomber x Reader (Non-Gender Specific)
(Drabble)
Rating: PG 13
That feels so wonderful.. the soft golden rays gleaming down from the small rift between all those big white fluffy clouds, encircling that lovely blueish pink sky above. The sand gently cradling your form beneath your plush beach towel that your beloved took the time to carefully pick just for you. And your love's hands tenderly massaging your slick from seawater back, slowly etching small circles into your glistening skin with his deep blue servos, taking his sweet time to make you feel as loved and cherished as possible. You heave a soft sigh as you nestle deeper into your folded arms.. How long have you been here now? Hours..? Time seems to have melted away from your reality, all you can possibly think about is this moment, right now.
Beachcomber quietly chuckles at you, you seem so comfortable, he's quite pleased with himself.. In fact, he's immensely proud of himself. He wanted this day to be absolutely perfect for you, he hoped it would be a nice break from your life and all your stresses... But he feels he may have very well far exceeded that goal, to the mech's absolute delight.
It started with a picnic by a giant palm tree, you two were perfectly shaded by the sun and just close enough to the shore to get some of that refreshing salty air wafted your way. Your basket was packed to the brim with lavish foods and goodies, anything you like, it was most definitely in there.
Then after a bit of lounging, you two went on a brisk walk by the shore, it was a chance to explore and have a little adventure together, not to mention to see some of the local wildlife and maybe make sketches and take notes about them in your shared journal.
Then to end it all off, you're getting a nice back rub with some of your favorite snacks and beverages close by for you to munch on as you get pampered, whether it be expensive wines and cheeses or something as simple as apple juice and chocolates, he made sure to get his servos on whatever it was that you enjoy most, no matter the cost.
He wanted it to be about you for once, for you to receive love and praise, and he has to say.. all his hard work has really paid off. Seeing your troubles slowly start to melt away and you practically beam from happiness as the day continued on, seeing that glint of passion and love in your eyes when ever you looked his way, and having you laid out before him, practically nude, trusting him to hold and protect you like this... It's something so wonderful that he could've never even have fathomed it happening in his wildest dreams. Yes, today.. went perfectly.
"You enjoying yourself, my lovey?" Beachcomber queries, knowing full well that you're having a blast.. mostly because you've been practically screaming it from the rooftops, he just wants to hear you say it one more time to really lap up his victory.
His endearing nickname brings a small smile to your face, you love every single one he comes up with, each is so unique and sweet.. so kind, so... him. "Mmmhmmmm.." Your hum of approval is barely above a whisper as compared to the lapping ocean before you..
Hmm, he wonders... He sneaks a quick peek at your face.. Look at you, almost asleep beneath him, it makes him chuckle. Goodness, what a sleepyhead. "Well, I'm glad you like it. You deserve it- You deserve all of it, I mean. The adventure, the food... the.. love..." He begins to trail off as something in the distance catches his eye, something shiny that the latest wave has brought in. Is that... a shell? That would make a perfect gift! He glances down at you, taking a moment to admire your beautiful form, then he pats your back a few times and rushes over to the pretty thing before another wave comes in. "Be right back! I see somethin' cool I wanna give you!" He shouts as he scurries away, his voice swiftly getting quieter and quieter as he goes.
You groggily raise your head to watch your big bot fish something out of the sand, blow it off, then proceed to try to rub it on his metal in an attempt to clean it.. as if he could do that without something cloth on. You slowly shake your head at his silliness. What a dork. You hear a very happy chirp escape his vocalizer as he holds up his discovery triumphantly, his excitement is practically beaming off him, it makes you smile. You can't quite see what it is yet, but you're certain it's something spectacular.
He hurries back and drops to his knees before you. You slowly, but surely raise up with a yawn so you can view his find properly. You gaze up at him, he's smiling so brightly, you'd think this is the happiest he's ever been in his entire life... Well, other than when he met you and whenever you two cuddle. He enthusiastically offers you his discovery, a.. wow, an absolutely stunning scallop shell! It's massive, it's as big as one of your hands... Actually, it's a bit bigger! And it's in perfect condition, too! It's pearlish gleam almost gives it a sort of mythical look.
You gasp dramatically as you gently pick up the shell and admire it, then as a token of your appreciation, you kiss each one of Beachcomber's knuckles, causing him to purr and puff out hot steam from his vents. "What a lucky find, amazing work honeybun!~ Good boy, such a good scout!" You praise, making him to sink in on himself, he bashfully hides his face with his hands as he looks away with a content little grin gracing his features. "It wasn't so much scouting as it was luck.. No need to praise me..." He mumbles shyly, but you know good and well he wants more.
"Whaaat? Seriously? You found that because of your sharp seeking skills, silly goose! Don't sell yourself short!" Your flattery is getting the better of him, his engine remarkably begins to rev even louder as you climb onto his lap and press a gentle kiss onto his jawline. "My lucky, talented angelfish." You mumble pridefully, in retaliation to your soft spoken words, he gently grasps your waist then leans you backward so he can see you better, you look deep into his beautiful half lidded optics, just barely visible through his visor and smile. He can't help but smile back doofily before he slowly leans down and begins kissing you all across your jawline, neck, then down to your shoulders, each one impressing his love for you deep into your soul. "I love you, my shiny shell.." He whispers into your ear before he gives it a quick peck, it kind of tickled. You reach up and pull him into a short kiss. "I love you too, my love.. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful day..." You softly reply, making him giddily giggle. "Of course, you deserve it, you deserve the world.."
Summary: y/n is just chilling without socks on for apparently the first time around Starscream. And for some reason he thinks its the most interesting thing. y/nā¦not so much.
tags: crack , no this isn't foot fetish stuff, i just saw one post here about it and thought this would be silly to write, because they don't have toes, plus i think its funny to point at Starscream and say he likes feet lol, is it a fetish or is it just like-fascination in different anatomy? they/them pronouns for reader and no visual descriptors aside from features most humans have. No beta we die like my self respect.
You were relaxing on your couch on a way too hot summer's day, Starscream said he'd join you at around 1pm. You'd taken the liberty to rid yourself of as much clothing as decently possible when you have a guest coming over.
You roll over onto your stomach to scroll through your phone when you hear a knock at your door.
"If your a scrawny robotic space turkey, the door's open!" You shout as you continue to read your notifications and kick your feet slightly.
You hear Starscream let out an exasperated sigh as he opens the door,
"I thought I told you to quit referring to me as such organic earth filth, Fleshie."
"And I told you to stop calling me a fleshie it sounds gross, so until you stop, I won't stop" You enunciate the last three words with deft leg kicks and head taunts.
He mumbles something you can't quite catch under his breath as he closes the door. You're sure he's on about not taking orders from something so weak again or something.
As he strides over to you he opens his mouth to vent about his day as usual before you hear it audibly shut. You turn your head quirking a brow, that's odd, he never willingly shuts himself up. He's looking at something with rapt fascination, you follow his gaze andā¦no fucking way.
"Star, what are you doing?" You ask trying so hard not to crack up.
"Why do your pedes lookā¦weird." He leans a tad closer as he pokes the sole of our foot with his taloned servo.
"Dude!" You jolt back, that tickled! He stands straight almost as startles as you were, eyes wide and a look of horror on his face.
"Primus, please tell me these aren't another one of your strange intimate human parts?" His disgust almost sounds forced.
"Pfft, only if you got the freak like that," he snaps to look at you "well, typically they're not, so no need to worry your sorry little head."
If he could physically look any more offended, he would. He may not understand what he should be offended over, but he is.
He huffs as he makes himself comfortable in the char you've designated for him to use, yes his pointy ass has poked holes in the plush covering but he seems content with the foreign softness.
You roll your eyes at Starscream's little hissy fit, sometimes you find them almost endearing , sometimes.
Reaching to grab the remote from the floor you stretch your leg a bit for balance before flicking on the cheesy rom-com Star comes over to see. Because clearly he can't watch it back on his evil space ship, toxic masculinity vibes or something, or xenophobiaā¦probably both to a degree.
Usually his eye's would be glued to the screen as he made commentary, but he's been oddly silent. You glance over your shoulder, and lo and behold, he's been staring at you. Not just you, your god damn feet.
